...while Matteo was in the basement counting the racks of cheese that he had obtained from the heist, he heard a noise he wished he wouldn’t hear. BANG BANG BANG BOOM! He shook in fear of the FCB, knowing what happened last time, and despite his reluctance to leave his valuable cheese, he fled through the newly built ECES. He arrived at his Cheesemobile and fled without looking back.
It was a sweltering summer day in Cheez-Itopia and the Chezess had been waiting for the brand new Cheesicle to be released. Matteo Chezess had been pondering the flavors he was going to buy. He dreamed of Colby, Havarti, Provolone, Muenster, Swiss, Pecorino, and his all-time favorite Colby-Jack. Ever since he was a little cheese curd, Matteo had been devoted to cheese. So he knew he had to find a way to get into the store before opening. He told everyone that he had to use the outhouse, but snuck off to the back of the store in hopes of finding an entrance. A little while later he found a door propped open and a slight sliver of a window open. He went the “smart way” and luckily was able to reach the window. As he climbed through, a waft of cheese reached his senses. Forgetting his situation, he leaned forward and laid his hands on the imaginary ledge. CRASH. He introduced his face to the floor. He heard people coming towards him and knew to hide. He hid behind a cluttered desk hoping the workers wouldn’t see him. Thump. Thump. Thump. His heart was racing. His palms were sweating. He was trembling from the thrill of almost getting caught!
“Must’ve been a mouse or something. Probably knocked over a broom or something. Ensure you don’t alert the boss, then we’d have to work harder. “
As the workers left, Matteo sighed and made his move toward the frozen aisle section. He saw the glorious CHEESICLES. He snatched only a few of his favorite flavors so as to not reveal his presence and went through the back. Despite carrying all of the Cheesicles, Matteo was able to move with agility and balance. He left thinking it was over until he turned the corner to see three men in black suits with the printed letters FCB on the left chest pocket.
“You better have a good explanation buddy,” one suited man said “or you're in a load of trouble.”
Matteo, unable to defend his actions, was thrown into a large vehicle with the words FCB on the sides and Federal Cheese Bureau on the front and back of the vehicle. Matteo started to think of excuses to get out of this situation. He was taken into an interrogation room. After a little while, a very attractive lady came out of the shadows.
“Why did you try to take 243 pounds of cheese? Are you working for the cheese lord?” she demanded with an underlying tone in her voice.
Matteo stuttering and having trouble speaking sputtered “N-n-no, I d-d-d-don’t know. I mean, I don’t k-know anybody that goes by C-cheese Lord.”
Just as the detective was about to interrogate Matteo more, the door slammed open, and one of the suited men from earlier stood in the doorway. He claimed a suspicious person had been spotted with a $100,000 cube of cheese from the SSV. Suddenly, sirens and alarms blared through the hallways. Seconds later, a stampede of leather boots hit the ground. Matteo was then taken to a cell to be interrogated later.
“GET HIM.”
“GAH.”
“ARGH.”
In the cell, Matteo heard the attempts to stop this mysterious figure but was just hoping he would be released in a short amount of time. A couple of hours later, he was interrogated again. Matteo asked what had occurred earlier and the woman explained, “It was the myth and legend, Cheese Lord, who had just broken into one of our highest security vaults to take the biggest wheel of cheese ever created. His actual name is unknown to the public and us. We have been lately sending spies to try and become one of his many highly paid workers although most of them are discovered somehow, and quickly may I add, and whipped by his “all-mighty string cheese whip” until they give up info about our new plans for the FCB.”
The woman asked Matteo why he tried to steal so much cheese in return for his inquiry. His response was “ The art of love is a very tricky subject.” The woman tried to pry further, but he had a desperate craving for a can of EZ Cheese. Five minutes passed until Matteo was finally handed what he desired. He first said, “I know oil and water don’t mix but it seems we do.”
After noticing a slight blush Matteo gained the confidence to explain “I’ve been waiting too long for Cheesicles, and I just got a rush of adrenaline and couldn't wait, I got excited when I saw them and just grabbed as much as I could.”
While Matteo filled his mouth full with the spray cheese, the detective replied “You should know to not steal no matter what the thrill is. The Cheesicles have already been returned, so all you need to do is either pay a hefty fine of $34,500 or spend 5 years in jail. You get two calls to your family about this, and make it quick.” Matteo made his calls and with no hope of getting bailed out, he got taken to his temporary cell. No more than ten minutes later, Matteo was being taken out of his cell by the lady. She chuckled and whispered, “You must have some friends in high places.”
On the way out, Matteo felt something slide into his pocket with a whisper of “Call me.”
When he got outside there was a suspiciously dark car parked outside. Matteo moved closer and a deep, husky voice ordered him to get in. Matteo cautiously got into the car where a strange man sat in wait. Matteo asked, “Who are you and did you bail me out?”
The strange man responded, “I’ll make you a deal. I’ll answer your question if you answer one of mine.” Matteo whispered, “Okay.” The man chuckled. “I am the one that stole that block of cheese from that wretched place for I am none other than the Cheese Lord. I am the one who got you out of the FCB’s grasp, and in return, I have a proposition for you. Work for me. You were caught with 243 pounds of Cheesicles, which informs me you are excellent at holding cheese and know how to navigate with such a load. What do you say, boy?”
Matteo, in shock, not knowing exactly what to say, mumbles “I will try to be of great help to you but... if you're so powerful, why would you need me to carry a few things?”
The Cheese Lord gave a big hearty laugh and announced, “I am getting older and must find a successor to run in my place. While we are on this topic, I believe we should get to know each other. The names Feta, James Feta.”
After being taken back to his house by Feta, Matteo went to work at what James had suggested. He had created plans for his Emergency Cheese Evacuation System or ECES. After that, he created the SHSAVS blueprint or his Super High-tech State of the Art Vaultage System which could at its max, hold over one million pounds of cheese and and could withstand over ten thousand pounds of dynamite. The time and price soon came to be too much for Matteo, so he decided to go to his new boss. Feta was known for having ways to get loads of work done in a short period of time.
“So you came to the master I see,” Feta said, “I was wondering if you were going to do anything special. So what are you hoping for? Workers? Supplies?”
Matteo, thinking for a second, says “ I’m hoping to put extensions onto my house. I want an Emergency Cheese Evacuation System and a vault with a capacity of over one million pounds of cheese. I'm going to need roughly fifty workers and then it should take roughly five years. By then I will be able to pay you back and...”
James interrupted him, “I will take care of all of the costs, but I have an assignment for you, Steal the crown jewel of cheese, the Colby-Jack cheese block that has been aging since 1876. It is valued at $2.5 billion. Have no fear, for I will be working with you. This will be the biggest heist to go down in decades.”
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A week later, as they were finishing the final preparations, Matteo and Feta went over the plans again as they had for the last 7 days.
“Matteo, you are to scout out the area. You should have an alibi so talk to that detective...”
Matteo interrupted, “ Summer. Her name is Summer.”
Feta continued “Well, talk to Summer as inconspicuous as possible. Keep your eye out for a hallway marked with half blue, and half-green arrows. Follow the blue. If you can, continue down the hallway. Attempt to get her to “show you the cheese”. During that time identify nearby devices like cameras. You should be able to figure out how the vault entrance works. Report to me. No matter what and I mean NO MATTER WHAT do not be dragged away by that detective due to your infatuation with her.”
Matteo interjected, “Again, her name is Summer, and I will not let your cheesiest down.”
Feta, with somber eyes, mutters, “Thank you, but stop correcting with the naming...” He trails off.
Matteo was standing in front of the mirror in his best outfit. He tried to brush back his hair but was unable to move his arm. He sighed and muttered, “Stop being such a baby. You can do this. It’s just a simple heist.”
Matteo came out of his room and was surprised to find Feta waiting on his couch. “Hey, kid. You really thought I would just let you go without saying bye?”
While they waited in the living room for the time to reach 9:00, they went over everything, from how he would act, to noticing little details. Matteo informed Feta that Summer was on her way. Feta, noticeably excited, was hit with a wave of nostalgia. Feta remembered seeing it being announced in the newspaper in the sixth grade. The paper also listed how many times people have attempted to be robbed. He aspired to be the one to finally steal this impossible feat but on that fateful day, he was caught none other by the kid he loathed the most, Gerald Rukbar. Gerald was everything Feta despised. He was overconfident, a “good guy”, and head of the Bureau. Matteo looked at his watch. 9 o’clock.
“Summer should be here any minute.” Matteo thought, and just as that thought had come, a slim, red car pulled up.
“So are you going to get in or are you just going to stay watching,” Summer said with a smirk on her face. Matteo blushed from embarrassment and got into the car. “So you wanted me to show you around the Bureau? Did you just want to hang out with me?” Summer teased.
Matteo, grinning ear to ear, said, “Both would be a treat, but I’m mainly wondering about the Bureau. I’m interested in working there and didn’t get to see much of the facilities.”
As they pulled into the parking lot Matteo heard something, it was quiet, it sounded small but Matteo knew it came from the small earpiece Feta gave him for communication. “Matteo...Testing...Matteo… can you hear me?” Feta said in a serious tone. Matteo, remembering their code in case he couldn’t speak, tapped once.
“Remember you have to go %#^& the hallway w/th the /:0^ &*@ @*#)& arrows, but turn-”.
The device was relaying static because of the concrete walls in the Bureau. Matteo was on his own for now. He signed in as a guest and began searching for the marked hallway. His heart started pounding. He saw the arrows. Knowing what he must do must have no mistakes, Matteo said, “Let's try this hallway, I haven’t seen this area yet.” Summer agreed. While walking down the blue-green arrowed hallway, Summer was trying to chat up Matteo, but he was hardly listening because he was searching for any security measures and escape routes as Feta had taught him. As Matteo and Summer came up to the turn, Summer asked, “Which path do you want to see first?”
Suddenly, Matteo felt something akin to fear. He had forgotten what Feta had told him on which path to travel along. He had to make a split-second decision, where the wrong answer could result in a devastating failure. He took a gamble and suggested the blue arrow hallway as it was “his favorite color”. While walking down the hallway he noticed more cameras and the pure Tungsten, which is the strongest metal vault at the end of the hallway. Prepared to watch how she was going to enter the code he got distracted and started to talk to Feta. Luckily seeing half of the code the vault opened. In the vault, there was a specially set glass box that had been preserving the wrapped cheese since the beginning. “Did you know that Colby-Jack has been preserved since 1876 and is now worth over $2.5 billion?” Summer asked. “There’s no way, how big is the cheese?” Matteo asked. Summer answered, “It weighed in at about 10.85 lbs at its last weigh-in.” Matteo, needing to find the first half of the codes, asked to go to the restroom but snuck away snooping through offices that could have codes. Then he found an office marked “Resources and Help” Matteo walked in and found a big chalkboard with codes to certain vaults until he found the code he needed, he recognized the last digits of the code to make sure it was the one needed. Seeing the board at first he quickly took a picture in case of a mistake. Matteo started telling Feta “3..5..7..8..0..1..1..4, that's the code for the vault...” Then Summer walked in, with her growing suspicion of Matteo she asked why he was in there with the simple response of “I saw a strange light and heard a phone starting to go off.” They left seconds later until Summer remembered there wasn’t a phone in the room, she looked back and then tried talking to Matteo but he wasn’t there, frantically searching she couldn’t find him. Matteo had left the Bureau and went to talk to Feta. But he felt something was off as he was getting into the car. Feta seemed like a different person, something just seemed off about him. Until a large smile crept onto his face and pulled something in a cloth out, it was the 10.85 lb, $2.5 billion, and preserved since 1876, block of Colby-Jack. Matteo’s mouth fell with awe at the sight of such a cheese. On the way back to Feta’s safe house there was a loud siren and then FCB cars went by at impeccably high speeds in search of a suspicious person. Then Feta and Matteo got pulled over by none other than Summer. Summer started “ Matteo, where did you go after you went into that room? And who is this you are driving with?” Matteo thinking of a response “Ummm...... I left because my uncle here is in town and had to leave. I apologize and hope we can go on another “date”, but actually when is a good time to go to dinner.” Summer flattered “ Oh, but next time tell me, and this Sunday could work around 7:30. And you guys have a good rest of your day though, and report any suspicious people of things you see.” Summer left to catch up with the others that drove by minutes ago. “Phew, I didn’t think she was going to buy it, and luckily she didn’t search the car.” Matteo in relief. Feta blew a relieved sigh and started on their way. Arriving at Feta’s secret safe house they put passwords in and entered entered the house. Matteo following Feta to his basement couldn’t resist looking at his trophies, Best Cheese #1, his book Cheese Addict 101, Cheesiest Cheese, etc. But all were given to “different people” so it conceals Feta’s real identity. While entering the basement there were multiple different elevators and doors to other vaults and treasure troves. They entered the second elevator and went all the way down, until seeing the biggest vault door Matteo had ever seen. On entering the vault Matteo expected more expensive cheeses. But the other noticeable thing in the vault was a gauntlet floating in a case with five stone casings into the forearm. “Why do you have a gauntlet with five stone casings in it but you only have one stone?” Matteo asked. “There has been told a prophecy of a giant, a cheese lord, that could destroy the world and there must be a super six, a team of six strong superpowered people to take down the beast. And one must wear the gauntlet, I have found the first stone which was here in America, and there are told the others are in distant countries.” Feta explained with a slight worry. Feta placed the cheese in a specially incased box which would be able to preserve the cheese for hundreds of centuries. “Now that that has been done there's something I’ve got to tell you. I’m getting older every day, and though I might not be that old right now. I would like to give you the crown and you are now the new Cheese Lord.” Feta said with slight tears in his eyes. Matteo without words could just hug Feta. While walking out of the basement Feta gave Matteo keys. Matteo spoke with confusion “What are these for?” “Those are the keys to the Cheesemobile, it was found at the bottom of an Aztec temple and is the only car to have parts of cheese that don’t burn.” Feta answered Matteo. Matteo went outside and got into his new ride to drive off for something certain. He was going to steal cheese from the Cheezington Bank. Arriving in his new whip he got out with his mask of cheese to enter with none other but another secret from Feta, his cheese whip, which could be used as a whip and be used to shoot melted Vieux Boulogne that has expired. The stinkiest cheese and could then stick enemies to structures. Upon entering the bank everyone got down, Matteo walked to a bank teller to get the code to a safe, with having to shoot her with the cheese she gave up while puking and gave him the code. Entering the vault he grabbed the biggest stacks of cheese and started to hear sirens, it was the FCB on their way. He rushed while dropping a few cheeses. Getting into the car was no problem but with lots of cheese, it was. He found a button that said Cheese Holding, Matteo pushed it, and a bed opened with room for lots of cheese. After throwing the cheese in the back he got in and drove off at top speeds of over 500 mph, with the FCB tailing him he turned on Cheese Spill and Cheesexaust. Cheesespill would make the FCB slip and lose control and while pushing the Cheesexaust it boosted to over 600 mph. “Oooooooh baby this things got some power.” Matteo said while laughing at the FCB. Getting back home he parked at the safe spot just outside the ECES and got to the basement to see the work of the ECES and the vault, with only a smaller different vault complete he threw the cheese in there and then went to see the ECES. “Hey boss how are you doing this fine evening?” a worker said with a slight smile. “I’m doing fine, how’s the ECES going?” Matteo asked. “Just finished earlier this morning.” the worker exclaimed. Matteo shook his head to go weigh and count the cheese. 538 lbs read the scale, Matteo shaking his head with accomplishment went to go to the vault to count his cheese. While Matteo was in the basement counting the racks of cheese that he had obtained from the heist, he heard a noise he wished he wouldn’t hear. BANG BANG BANG BOOM! He shook in fear of the FCB, knowing what happened last time, and despite his reluctance to leave his valuable cheese, he fled through the newly built ECES. He arrived at his Cheesemobile and fled without looking back while thinking of the prophecy Feta talked about.