12533. Exactly one year had passed since Junie’s condemnation. Her grief had begun to lessen, though slowly, and only to shortly be replaced with the desperation of her freedom being stripped from her and pinned to the wall at such a young age.
Her parents and siblings visited her fairly often - and every time they did, that same unspoken question lingered in the air, weighing on everyone’s minds, driving a deep trench between Junie and the rest of the world. The one question she still couldn't answer.
She almost felt ashamed to see them. They would sit there, tell her about the farm, her younger siblings’ school life, the news. She’d smile and reassure them about her health, the treatment she received. They would leave - and she’d remain, in no different a position than before.
To keep her occupied during her incarceration, her mother had gifted her a chessboard, and her father a book on how to play the game. There wasn’t much of a point to it : most of the time, she was confined to her solitary cell, with no one to play against. Still, since her usual way of dealing with stress had been AR’ed away, she was thankful for any pastime. Once she learnt how to, she often found herself thinking about how much she would’ve loved to play with Catherine.
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“Knight to B8; checkmate. And that’s only the most obvious of three missed wins in a row! How did you end up losing to yourself?”
Junie’s heart stopped as she heard that familiar, yet already distant voice.
“C-... Catherine? Are you… here?
- What? I’m dead. Of course I’m not here. You killed me, remember? “
Junie grabbed her sides. “Who… who are you.
- Ms. Yuu - Catherine Yuu! Meanie, did you already forget? I was your partner for years! But, you know. I’m not really ‘me’.
- Not… really?
- I’m dead. So I’m not really Catherine Yuu. Prison hasn’t made you any brighter, has it?
- Hah… I… I guess not… So, then, are you like… a ghost?
- I’m an hallucination, Junie. You’re mad.” The emprisoned girl frowned, gripping her chest tighter. “Sh-shut up, then. You’re not real, so, just, leave of something.
- Like it’s my fault! You’re the one who’s brought this upon yourself. I mean, you’ve always been mentally lacking. It was only a matter of time before you lost your marbles for good!” The voice gave a giggle.
“...you said… that I killed you.
- You did.
- But… I don’t remember it?
- So? I do.
- B- But- You’re-
- In your head. You may not want to accept it. But you know what you’ve done.”
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Junie held her temples. Whatever that voice was, it was cruel. She didn’t want to listen to it. She refocused her attention on the chessboard. White’s turn. Knight to B8… sure enough. Checkmate. She’d never have thought of that move on her own… Lest she did, subconsciously.
“Ignoring me? You’re just the worst, Junie! You know that?” The voice stiffened suddenly, going from chipper to serious in a moment’s time - much as Catherine’s own voice used to.
Junie picked up each of the chess pieces and put them back into their starting positions.
“Seriously, though, you’re rather awful. I mean, who loses a rank? Who has to rely on a C rank to do their job?
- I… I don’t care about ranks. Go away.” Nevermind this. She swiped her hand across the board, letting the pieces fall to the side and roll down to the floor.
“Of course you don’t care about ranks. That sort of thing’s easy for you to say. You’ve never cared about anything in your life.”
Junie hurriedly stored the pieces away, having to reorder them several times in her rush.
“You’ve never had to. You’ve always let others care for you. You don’t even know what working for something is like, do you?”
She snapped the box closed. “Go away.
- Or what? You’ll use your removed ability to kill me again?
- I didn’t kill you! I swear! I didn’t… I didn’t… I...
- Then why am ‘I’ here?
- I… You’re… sh… shut up. This is just - someone pranking me or whatever.
- How did it feel? When you killed me.” Junie held the chessboard close to her chest, clutching it like a pillow.
“I didn’t… I didn’t…
- Did you feel relieved? Did aaall your jealousy suddenly flush away?
- I…
- Or did it... awaken something hidden deep inside? Was the immature thrill-seeking daughter of a countryside butcher meant for slaughter all along?
- Sh-Shut up. That’s just mean for no reason.
- You’re arguing with yourself.
- I’m… I’m not… go… go away…
- I can’t. You killed me. And I’m you! It’s like you killed yourself, haha! That’s cute.” Junie crouched, holding her knees. This wasn’t Catherine… Catherine was dead. This… this… this was something else. Something awful.
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The voice didn’t visit her every day. Not even every week, or every month. But whenever it did, it haunted Junie endlessly. It lingered there. Told her every flaw. Everything she did wrong. How awful she was for… that. Junie sat there, told it to go away, screamed at herself endlessly. Her health visibly decayed. Eventually, the voice had intoxicated her brain so thoroughly that Junie couldn’t remember the Catherine she once knew at all. All that remained were mean, personal insults, targeted attacks that only she herself could’ve known would hurt so bad. All in Catherine’s voice, with her mannerisms and tone…
Catherine was dead.
Catherine was dead.
Catherine was dead.
She’d killed Catherine.