Chapter 1

“What in the Holy Mother’s name are you doing up there, Zavel?”

Zavel Felshrike looked up – well, down, to be perfectly precise – at the familiar voice’s owner, a figure in a thick brown hooded robe and a crooked wooden staff in hand. A priest.

“Why hello there, Halyes. Welcome to my humble abode, I’ve been expecting you.”

The figure sighed loudly, removing its hood and revealing a young, bald man with the slightest hint of a beard upon his chin. “No you haven’t, Zavel. We haven’t spoken in a year, and I know it’s not true.”

“What makes you so sure? After all, you haven’t seen me in a year,” came Zavel’s quick retort.

“Okay then, I’ll presume you meant to welcome me in this state,” said Halyes, leaning his staff against the wall. He paused, glancing at the various items strewn around the room. Playing cards, pieces of paper, piles of chains and rope. He returned his gaze to Zavel. “So tell me, what are you doing hanging upside down, bound by the feet with lock and chain, wearing only your underwear?”

“Practicing, Halyes. All great magicians practice their art for years.”

“You’re already a great mage, Zavel. The youngest and greatest of our time, Zavel of the Eternal Flame, archmage at twenty-three. The saviour of Amnesnard. The one who brought down the Dragon God with a single spell.”

“Yes, yes, all trivial things. I was just a great mage, Halyes, but no longer, for now I will be a fantastic magician as well!” Zavel said with eccentric fervor, even for him.

“That makes no sense whatsoever, Zavel—” said Halyes, before realising that his partner in conversation wasn’t listening anymore. “Hey! Don’t ignore me!”

The chains around Zavel’s ankles jingled as he reached up and fiddled with the thick lock holding them together. Sweat dripped from his back, and his body trembled as muscles that’d never been worked exerted themselves. After a moment, the padlock clicked imperceptibly, and he crashed to the ground in an unceremonious heap.

Panting heavily, he climbed to his feet and spread his arms wide in a stiff flourish. “Ta-dah! What do you think, Halyes?”

Halyes stared back, bemused. “What am I supposed to think?”

“Come on, humour me a little.”

“The ending could use some improvement. You look too unnatural,” Halyes said. “It would certainly help if you weren’t near nude.”

“And?” asked Zavel expectantly.

“And? What else am I supposed to think?”

“My escape, Halyes! How do you think I did it?”

“…Key?” guessed Halyes, rolling his eyes.

“No, unless you’re suggesting that I hid it in my underwear.”

“That’s exactly what I’m suggesting, Zavel.”

“Hmph, a loose end. I’ll do it again with nothing on, then,” Zavel said, moving to remove the only thing left protecting his modesty.

“Don’t you dare. I will smite you down,” Halyes warned, the beginnings of a prayer already upon his lips.

“It’s not as if you haven’t seen me in the nude before, Halyes.”

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“…grant your devout servant the strength to punish…”

“When we were roommates, back in school. Or when you walked in on me with that girl in Amnesnard and I invited you to join in. Remember that?”

Halyes flinched slightly but continued his invocation with reddening cheeks, his hands starting to crackle with yellow energy. “…t-the heretic b-before me, O Holy Mother…”

“Fine, fine, I won’t,” Zavel clicked his tongue and ceased his taunting. “Tch, your priesthood has turned you boring. Give me another guess.”

“Melted the lock? Froze it and shattered it? Turned it into water?”

“All wrong,” grinned Zavel, lifting the intact padlock.

“I don’t know, Zavel,” Halyes sighed, tapping a foot impatiently. “How did you do it…?”

“A magician never reveals his secrets.”

“Why you—that’s it, come here!”

Zavel immediately ducked under Halyes’ arms as the latter lunged forward, before sprinting out through the doorway.

“Get back here, you little shit!” yelled Halyes as he gave chase, both hands lifting the hem of his heavy robes so he wouldn’t trip.

“Language, Halyes!” Zavel shouted back as he ran along the wide and undecorated corridors of his mansion. “You’re a holy man now, so act like one!”

“And you’re a venerated mage! Now slow down and let this priest absolve you of your sins, you bastard!”

They ran and ran, through empty rooms, up and down flights of stairs, eventually ending up amongst the wild, unkempt grass of the garden.

“Now hold on… just a minute… Halyes,” said Zavel, his chest rising and falling with each laboured breath. “You wouldn’t attack an unclothed, unarmed man, would you?”

Halyes eyed him warily. “Unclothed, yes, but unarmed? I don’t think anyone who uses the powers are ever unarmed, Zavel.”

“You’re quite right,” Zavel nodded, opening his palms dramatically to reveal a set of marbles within.

“What the—where did those come from? Were they in your underwear?” asked Halyes, looking almost panicked at the thought.

Zavel smirked and simply started hurling them at the priest. Halyes flinched as one flew perilously close over his head, while others impacted on his robe and fell harmlessly to the ground. With a cry of frustration, he leapt forward.

“WERE THEY—” he swatted a marble out of the air, “IN YOUR—” another swipe, another of the glassy projectiles rendered useless, “UNDERWEAR, ZAVEL FELSHRIKE?”

Halyes tackled Zavel as he finished, and they both tumbled to the grassy earth, with him pinning the offender in question down with his weight.

“And if I said yes?” Zavel asked, looking up at the man atop him innocently.

The answer came in the form of an inarticulate scream, and Zavel thankfully managed to shut his eyes in time as spittle rained down upon his face. Then, the priest rolled over and collapsed on the thick grass beside him.

“I regret coming here already,” Halyes moaned.

“Yes, why did you come, Halyes? After disappearing from my life for a year, to join the priesthood, no less.”

“What did you expect me to do, Zavel? You chased us out of your life all of a sudden. I had no choice but to return to the very thing I was travelling with you to escape from,” said Halyes. He paused for a moment, waiting for a response. “At least apologise, you arse.”

“I’m sorry,” Zavel said softly. “I was having a bit of an identity crisis then.”

“And this is what you’ve settled on? Slinging marbles and escaping being chained up via unknown means? Are you still not going to tell me how you did it?”

“Nope.”

“Bah, whatever. I’m here to fetch you to see the King, Zavel. That’s what I’m here for.”

“The King?” asked Zavel quizzically. “What does that old bastard want with me?”

“To award you a duchy. Surely you already know, they would have sent letters.”

“Oh! So that’s what those grand-looking letters were for. I received a few of them, but never really got around to opening them. I really don’t have an interest in becoming a duke, though. It sounds like too much work…”

“Well,” Halyes said. “I don’t think you can refuse the King, to be honest. How many of the letters did you get?”

“Five of them, I think. Maybe more?”

“F-five?!” exclaimed Halyes, immediately bolting up into a sitting position. “Get up, we’re leaving as soon as you get dressed.”

“I’m not going, Halyes. I don’t want a duchy,” said Zavel, crossing his arms.

“That’s the least of your problems now. One doesn’t just ignore the King’s summons five times in a row, you know. At least come with me and refuse it in person.”

“Do I have to?”

“Yes, Zavel.”

“…Fine,” Zavel huffed. “I’ll go, if only to drill into His Majesty’s thick skull that I want to be left alone.”