The carriage shook as it traveled at high speeds, rocking with every larger stone it wheeled over due to its excessive weight. The early dawn light had finally started to peak, extending the reach of its rays through the carriage window and landing on the strikingly handsome face of the young lord you rested inside.

He rubbed his tired eyes, dark and sunken from the lack of sleep caused by the constant shake throughout the night. The ride back to the territory would take over a month since his fife was in the far north of the kingdom, residing on the edge of the neighboring Empire—with whom they had been in consistent territory disputes for generations.

He sighed in frustration, resting his head against the glass as he watched the trees speed past in a blur. The light rose more as the morning continued, eventually filling the cabin, reflecting off of metal, and refracting off a single pink gem—filling the roof with a colorful sparkle as if a pink and purple aurora was inside the vehicle with the lord and his aide.

Rhae froze, looking down at the tie he had yanked off the previous night, throwing it to the ground in frustration. There, looking up at him, was the gold tie-clip with a kunzite gemstone in a teardrop as the eyepiece of the marlet engraved on it. The very one Kaisan had attached to his tie the night before. He had left the ring behind but had forgotten about the tie clip in his hurry. Out of sight, out of mind.

He clicked his tongue in frustration, tearing his eyes away in disgust. Disgust at the prince who tricked him emotionally and physically, and disgusted with himself for falling for it. Of all the people he could fall for and claim to devote everything to, it had to be that damn royal family that ostracized his family, banished them to the outskirts, forced them to be defenders of the kingdom nonstop, and brought untold harm to his family.

He moved his foot in an attempt to crush it beneath, but paused. It was a ducal family heirloom. He'd rather not be on the receiving end of the Duke's wrath for destroying his deceased daughter's keepsake. He groaned in both frustration and anger, looking back out the window.

"Pick that thing up and keep it out of my sight," Rhae commanded, breaking the silence. His aide flinched, then looked down on the ground. He nervously reached for the tie, glancing up at his lord before quickly looking back, tucking it inside his jacket's inner pocket.

"How would you like me to dispose of it, my lord?" the aide asked. Rhae was silent while he thought, continuing to stare out the window, not even bothering to look at his aide.

"Don't. Just keep it out of sight. It belongs to an important family, and they may try to come retrieve it at a later date."

"Yes, my lord," the aide nodded, confused. The ride continued like that for a long while until they finally passed the outer territory lines of the capital and officially started its pass through County Dunfort's territory. "We'll be arriving at the inn shortly, so you'll be able to rest soon."

"Fine, I'll take my meal in my room," Rhae replied absently, eyes never moving from the scenery outside. The aide shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"My lord, what's the plan going forward with our return?"

"You should already know. That damn king probably already has the next civil war arranged to send me off to. We'll most likely have little time to organize everything before I'm sent off again," Rhae sighed in frustration, sitting back in his seat and resting his head against the back of the carriage as his mind wandered. The worn, comfortable seats only slightly deafened the creaking of the carriage wheels over the stone and dirt road, making his body feel heavy.

His entire thoughts were consumed by his week-long now ex-lover, now known as Kaisillian, the third prince of the Lanid kingdom. The thoughts kept him up a majority of the night, his restlessness disturbing his aide from sleeping. But no matter how hard he tried, sleep couldn't be found.

Each time he closed his eyes, all he could see was every single moment they spent together—from their first meeting in the gardens to each time they participated in sporting events, painting him while he slept, and their intimate meals together. Even when Rhae tried to keep his eyes open, behind each blink was a flash of Kai's smile. He wanted to open the carriage window and spit those thoughts away.

Reading on this site? This novel is published elsewhere. Support the author by seeking out the original.

As the carriage slowed to a stop in front of the village inn, Rhae stopped and looked to the top of it, where one sizeable wooden case stood out. He frowned in abhorrence. Why did he even bother packing those things and bringing them with him? Ah, that's right - because he wanted to leave nothing behind for that damned prince to hold on to.

"Farren, when we get back, I want you to burn that entire trunk," Rhae said firmly as he turned away from the carriage, heading towards the inn entrance. The aide paused, glancing up at the luggage before quickly following behind.

"Are you certain, my lord? You worked hard on those paintings and put a lot of material into them. We could always sell them for a profit…"

"And have the royal family charge me for imperial blasphemy? Distributing vulgar images of not only a prince but a member of a ducal family? Our family is already partially exiled. We don't need to have our title and land taken, too."

"Ah… I'm sorry, my lord…" Farren responded nervously. "I'll be sure to do that when we return to the estate."

Rhae waved his hand as he entered the inn. Farren scurried past him to speak to the staff about the prior arrangement for the rooms, obtaining the keys and handing Rhae the best available suite. The young lord looked at the key quietly and expressionlessly before making his way to his one-night abode.

The lock clacked loudly, and the old wooden door creaked as it swung into the single-person room with an old balcony door on the opposite side. He walked across the small space, pulling the large, old blinds shut to block out all light before lying backward on the bed, resting his arm across his eyes with a sigh.

"Foolish…" he mumbled, clenching his jaw in frustration. How could he chase after someone so feverishly? A bitter laugh bubbled up in his throat. Why was he so drawn to a stranger so much younger than him? Was he so materialistic that he only fell for physical appearances? To have fallen so deeply, completely giving himself to someone else - a man of all things when he was a lord who was expected to marry and have children.

"Is that what I should do next?" he laughed at himself, exasperated. He rolled to his side on the bed, his hand habitually reaching out across the bed, only to be met with a cold and empty spot. His face contorted in pain. "Oh, what a living hell…"

"My Lord, are you awake?" came a call and a knock at the door. Rhae remained silent and unmoving until the call and knock came again. With a heavy sigh, he pushed himself up and crossed the room to unlock the door.

"What is it, Farren?" Rhae sternly asked, facing his secretary through the partially opened door. Farren flinched in response.

"I have some paperwork you need to review before morning, My Lord. Once signed, I need to have it sent on ahead for the vessels," Farren replied nervously, hands shaking as he held the documents. Rhae sighed in annoyance, moving aside to let his secretary inside the room. Farren shuffled through to the small table and put the stack of papers down. Rhae picked up the papers, shuffling through them as Farren headed back for the door.

"Farren," Rhae called out without looking up. "When you send these off to the vessels in the morning, I would also like to have them informed to start putting together a list of marriage candidates."

"... Sir?" Farren asked hesitantly, his timid voice trembling. He was confused about this sudden development - especially after getting the rundown from the butler about his lord's love affair over the past week during the festival. It was such a drastic change that his lordship was not known for. He didn't know how to proceed. "Are you certain? Once the vessels get started, it'll be near-impossible to change their minds…"

"You should know better than to question me, Farren," Rhae replied sternly, giving a sharp look to his aide. "It'll take time anyway, and I'll be away for a while, dealing with the latest border conflict. They can take their time, but I have the final approval."

"Yes, my lord," Farren replied with a quiet and strained voice, bowing his head before he turned and left the room, shutting the down behind him. Rhae put the stack of papers on the table, squeezing his eyes shut as he sat down. His face clenched tightly, and his hardened eyes bore holes through the papers in front of him. It was taking everything within him not to run back to the palace, as regret kept creeping up within him.

Flashes of a memory of when Kaisan slipped the ring on his finger played in his vision. The ring he tossed on the bed in frustration when he left to show Kaisan as strictly as possible what he thought of their bond, and that anything they had was irreparable. With every breath he took, thoughts of that fae-like prince haunted him, unable to free him from those heavy and obsessive emotions.

The silence in the old room with the occasional creak stretched onwards, filling Rhae's head with relentless memories he wanted to remove. It was heavy and uncomfortable, with no escape. His mind easily wandered through every moment they shared, and he choked back a sob. Everything was tainted now. The dream he had of their future was nothing more than a falsity - a nightmare.

Rhae's fist gripped so tightly that his nails cut into his palms. He could still feel Kai's passionate touch on his skin - still see those gem-like eyes staring wide up at him. Everything had felt so real, but he'd do everything in his power to rip it out from inside him. No matter how much he felt for that young man, he was only just one man after all - and he could survive the loss of one person.

Rhae picked up the stack of papers once again to distract himself from thinking of his time in the capital any longer. And as the night reached its dawn, only the bitter taste of lost love and regret remained inside that modest inn's room.