THE MEATPACKERS

They insist I use their real names—Eric and Tammy—in my book. 

His big hands are locked together, fingers nervously rubbing away at his skin, like there's something he's trying to wash away. "I only got about 20 minutes for this," he says with real regret in his voice. "I told my old man I'd help haul some shit for him."

"We'll be quick," she says, thumping him on the back. She's got coffee stains on her plaid button-down shirt, and the smell of Folgers fills the room. "It's still my brand of choice," she says with a wink. "Ain't nothin' wrong with it."

ERIC: The bossman at our plant… he just wasn't nice. Not to anybody.

TAMMY: He was a sumbitch, is what he was. 

ERIC: He would do little things to demean you. Whenever you'd mess something up he'd never miss the opportunity to chew you out in front of everybody.

TAMMY: Like that time he made Javier cry. 

ERIC: I remember. It was because Javier's shirt was dirty when he came in. I don't think he had too many shirts. 

TAMMY: No, I don't think he did. 

ERIC: The bossman just sent him home, cut his hours for the week. When you had a job like ours, that hurts. You needed hours. And he would do that sort of thing to us all the time. So, you know, we didn't like the boss. And we didn't much like our jobs, either. Meatpacking is rough work.

TAMMY: I didn't mind it that much. It was something to do.

ERIC: It was real rough, though. Too many injuries.

TAMMY: You're not wrong about that. 

ERIC: As soon as those Mormon boys came knocking and gave me a rep, I knew I was done working at the plant. First thing I did was print out a second rep and bring it over to Tammy's house.

TAMMY: I really couldn't believe it when you showed up with that thing. You knew I didn't believe in those things. 

You didn't believe they were real?

TAMMY: It's not that. I had heard stories about them from all over the place. More and more people were getting their hands on one. But nobody I knew. I never thought I'd get one myself. I never had the newest things. Always four or five versions behind on the iPhone. Using my daughter's hand-me-down laptop from when she went to community college. So when Eric showed up with a rep and said it was mine to keep… I just… 

Tammy's face gets red, and she dabs at her eyes. 

TAMMY: I just didn't know what to think. It was hard to believe, is all.

This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.

ERIC: Tammy always loved to bring in little treats for all of us at the plant. Sure enough, as soon as I got done showing her how to work it, the first thing she said was, "Let's make some more of these machines to bring to the crew tomorrow." 

TAMMY: Now, the bossman, he never did like when I brought in treats for the crew. And normally it was something like cookies, but this was a lot bigger. So we tried to keep a low profile about it. 

Me and Eric got there early and waited in the parking lot for the others to arrive. A bunch of the guys from the crew like to sit in their cars for a while and sip their morning coffee before heading in, so we were able to hand out probably six or seven reps before it was time to head in for the day. 

The bossman must have been watching us from his office, because as soon as I walked in the door, he started barking at me. Telling me to "come pay him a visit." 

I walked up to his office, and before I could even close the door he was in my grill. He said he wanted to know what it was I was doing out there in the parking lot. 

I told him I thought he already knew, if he was watching me so closely. 

He said he was gonna dock my hours if I kept having a smart mouth with him, and I said, "You think I need hours from you?" 

That really got him steaming. He got all red in the face. He was like, "You can leave right now, and don't come in until you've changed your attitude." 

I told him I wasn't ever gonna come in again, because I had already decided last night that I wasn't gonna work for his mean ass anymore. 

He said, "Well why the hell are you even here, if you don't want to work?" 

I said I was just here to hand out reps to the other workers. 

He started really losing it, then. 

That's about when Eric came up the stairs and walked in.

ERIC: While they were talking, I was showing some of the other workers at the plant how to set up a rep and start printing new parts. People started forming up in a line, then, and waiting very politely to get their hands on a rep. Some of the ladies who work the main line came wheeling in with dollies to help people get the machines to their cars.

Once that little operation was running on its own, I headed up to the bossman's office and walked in on him screaming at Tammy. Hollering about how she couldn't quit, because she was fired. He looked totally crazed. 

I'll never understand why he was so mad. He fired people all the time. You wouldn't think he'd care about one person quitting.

TAMMY: It was all about power. His whole identity was wrapped up in being that plant manager. When I told him I didn't need the job, that took away the only power he had. That's why he was all red and hollering. 

ERIC: That makes sense. Man, he got even more mad when he looked up at me and noticed all the people with reps down at the bottom of the stairs. He ran out on the catwalk and started screaming about how anybody who eats foods out of a rep is gonna get sick. That kinda scared people. 

As he was ranting and raving, I saw a few of them getting out of line and sort of acting like they were going back to work. Like they'd decided that maybe they didn't want anything to do with the reps. 

TAMMY: That's when I went out there and started hollering too. Telling everybody that Eric and I had been eating repped food, and that we were fine. I thought the bossman was gonna throttle me, the way he looked at me. 

ERIC: I tried to talk some sense into him, then. I told him the factory was gonna have to shut down anyway. That pretty soon there wasn't gonna be a market for "real" meat. He just kept saying, "You're fired. You're fired." And we were like, yeah, of course we are, everybody at this plant is fired. Nobody here is gonna have this job anymore. 

TAMMY: Some of the other workers started piping up then. Saying they heard other plants like ours were already closing. Everybody started buzzing, asking the boss what he was gonna do when the plant closed. He looked totally unsure of himself. I told him, "You know, you can have a rep too, if you want one. I'll build one for you." 

And that's about when he started crying. 

ERIC: It was unbelievable.

TAMMY: I didn't know what the hell to do. He was blubbering. Shaking his head, no. Getting snot all over his shirt. The man had a complete breakdown.

ERIC: I was sorta disgusted at first, to be honest. But then I started feeling sorta sorry for him. I was like, "Hey, man, you can have one. We brought them for everybody." 

TAMMY: He finally started nodding. Still boo-hooing all over himself. But nodding like he understood. 

ERIC: I told him to follow us, and he came down with us. We got him all set up. Helped him move the rep into his car. He never did stop crying. He was just thanking us, over and over. Saying he was sorry. I almost gave him a hug but I didn't wanna get snot all over me. 

TAMMY: Yeah it was pitiful. Bless his heart, the old bastard.