Oh, To Be King

The energy was palpable, as each train finally finished boarding. The engines whistled and roared, and cheers rang out as music began playing over the cavern loudspeakers. The great metal doors that guarded the train entrances began to rise. Daylight flooded the cave, and the Vagabonds shielded their eyes as they leaned out of the train car.

“This is it everyone,” Nameless yelled.

“Yo, general, how ‘bout a speech, huh?” Hera cackled.

“Not a fucking general,” Nameless grumbled.

“Speech!” Aj roared happily.

Nameless groaned and looked inside at Professor Zion. The kind Professor nodded, holding a microphone speaker. Nameless slowly walked over and took the microphone. The train started pulling forward, the first one to leave the city.

As the train heaved forward, Nameless sighed and clicked the radio on.

“Testing,” Nameless grumbled. His voice echoed over the loudspeakers, filling each train and every compartment.

The vagabonds turned and watched him. All eyes were on Nameless.

His knees shook, his joints sweated, his mind scrambled. He couldn’t think of anything to say. He wasn’t smart, not a politician or a general. Fancy words wasn’t his thing. As he gulped, he locked eyes with Julia, who nodded with a smile.

“Some of us are just dumb wasteland trash,” Nameless sputtered. He exhaled, gathered himself, and continued. “Some of us are Spiders. Some of us never had names, some of us had important names, but lost them. There are those on this train who were born free and lost it one way or another. Others have only been free for a few days. Maybe you’ve had some money, maybe you were bought for half a ration. None of that matters now.”

As he spoke, his hand trembled, the microphone shaking. He could feel the sweat running down his neck and back. “All of us are in this together now. Not a single person on this train is better than the other. Not me, not you, not that big guy with the big gun over there,” Nameless laughed. The vagabonds also chuckled. “We’re going down shit creek here, probably with half a paddle. But there’s no one else I’d rather be riding down shit creek with than you guys. Keep your steel handy, your powder dry, watch your buddy’s back, and we’ll forge a new world. Nameless, out.”

The vagabonds cheered and sneered affectionately as Nameless handed the microphone back. The Professor’s brow was furrowed, his hands twitching as he pursed his lips. “A bit short, and rather crude don’t you think?” Zion asked.

“Look, pal, you want big fancy words, find someone who went to school for that,” Nameless grumbled. “Enough speeches, man, time to break shit and get paid.”

“Yeah!” Aj yelled.

The group moved back inside as the train left the city, the Martian wastes rolling by as the train car doors stayed open. Wind and dust spackled the group as they adjusted to being outside again. Nameless watched as the mountain that Oasis lay under slowly shrunk, disappearing into the horizon. Scores of rail ran alongside theirs, almost like a six-lane highway just for the trains and their cargo.

“What’s our next move?” Julia asked.

“Prepare and wait. It’s a few days ride to the city. I’m sure there will be skirmishes, but all should be quiet for at least a day,” Ardo said.

The Vagabonds slowly nodded and dispersed, each heading off to their perspective corners. But before they got far, the rear door opened. Forge Master Johnathan appeared. His face framed with a half-smile, his eyes sparkling beneath his spectacles as he nodded.

“It is my honor to present our newest Forge Master,” Johnathan said.

The Old Spider stepped aside, revealing the little Captain. He had changed dramatically. His old, bent, and rusted arms had been removed, the skin closed over the wounds, reinforced with sub dermal mesh. In their place were two skinny titanium arms, each one sitting tidily under the perspective human arms. His scars had been completely removed and healed. It was plain for one to see, if the light caught it just right, the ocular implants in the little captains’ eyes.

“He is pure now. All discrepancies have been repaired or removed. It is doubtful his body will ever resume ageing, but he is at peak performance,” Forge Master Johnathan spoke.

Julia gasped.

“That was quick,” Hera quipped.

“You sure this is what you want, buddy?” Nameless asked softly.

The Vagabonds gathered around the little spider.

Captain Spider nodded.

“How does it feel, old man?” Aj asked in wonder.

Spider shrugged.

“He said they fixed everything. Does that mean, well, your stutter?” Julia asked softly.

Spider held his hands behind his back, twirling his foot like a child who had been caught.

“Cap?” Sammy asked.

“S-s-s-s-still got it,” Spider giggled.

The group erupted in shock.

“He requested that it stay,” the Forge Master said.

“Fucking Spider,” Nameless laughed. “Guess it’s Forge Master now, huh?”

Spider scowled. “T-t-t-that’s C-captain, t-t-to you,” he said with a wag of his finger.

“You got it,” Nameless chuckled.

“Does this mean he’s replacing you?” Julia asked concerned.

“When I rejoin his mother alongside the Gods, sure. But until then I am Oasis’s Forge Master, just as he is now yours. The Vagabond Forge Master,” Johnathan smiled.

Spider looked up to his father and held out his hand. They shook hands as peers, then bowed to one another as family.

“I must go see to the rest of the army. Can’t have two Forge Masters on the same train, can we?” the Forge Master spoke.

“T-thank you f-father,” Spider said solemnly.

The old Forge Master looked down at the little Spider. Gods knew what was going through his mind. The little stuntling, doomed to a patrol boat the rest of his miserable existence. The stuntling son he had been ashamed of. Now a forge master, leading the way in a behemoth.

The old man nodded solemnly then exited the train car.

“It’s okay, man, we all got daddy issues here,” Hera said softly.

“Says you!” Carla said hotly.

“Yeah, says me, bitch, who the fuck you think you are? Acting like your parents didn’t dump you off at the nearest slave market!” Hera spat.

“Can we, like, not? At least for maybe an hour?” Nameless groaned as he walked away, massaging the bridge of his nose.

“My family is still out there. At least my dad didn’t lose me on a field trip!” Carla cackled.

“I’m making noodles if anyone wants any,” Sammy called as she walked up the train car.

“Oh me, yeah I’ll grab some,” Aj greedily called chasing her.

“You guys, c’mon this is so immature!” Julia pleaded stepping in between the two girls.

Hera sucked her lips in and folded her hands, scanning Carla like a bar code.

“Says the snaggle toothed, crooked, slanty ass receded hairline, mommy issues ass choker, flat cheeked no ass having, forehead so big you’d need a dumpster for helmet, ain’t showered in two, nah three days judging from the flies and shit—” Carla seethed, using her hands to illustrate her points.

“Hey, whoa, hold on,” Julia sputtered.

“Oooooooooh I’m Hera! I stab people, that’s my personality guys! Look at me I use violence to hide the pain of being lost by my father, huuuuuuur!” Carla mocked.

“Can’t keep a man! Can’t keep them scrawny chicken legs closed! Don’t talk none cuz she dumb as a doorknob ass!” Hera shrieked, spittle flying from her mouth as she counted on her fingers.

“Guys!” Julia pleased.

“Literally the saddest psycho I have evert met! You are so fake; I hear you cry at night! You’re just a scared little girl whose mom huffed paint and drank too much while pregnant!” Carla screeched.

“Anyone else want noodles, guys?” Sammy called, sticking her head out of the door.

“Yeah, me and bring the fucking shine,” Nameless called from his bunk.

Sammy instantly heaved and grunted as Aj emerged on top of her. “Drink time?” he called frantically.

“I’mma whoop yo bitch ass, come here!” Hera screamed.

Nameless gave the thumbs up from his bunk.

“Can someone fucking help me?” Julia called frantically, heaving with all her might, holding Hera back. Carla was pacing back and forth, tying her hair in a bun, and removing her earrings.

“C’mon, Puta! I’m sick of your shit!” Carla spat, rolling her sleeves up.

“Gooooooooood evening ladies and gentlemen, in that corner we got us one tough angry girlllllll! Weighing in at several crates of fish, she is one meaaaaaaan fighter! Give it up for Heraaaaaa!” Spider’s voice boomed from the overhead speakers gleefully.

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“Yo who the fuck you comparing fish to, asshole?” Hera shouted.

“He was saying you’re as tall as them, dumbass!” Carla shrieked.

“I don’t think that’s what he said at all,” Sammy giggled as she ducked back inside.

“You’re dead!” Hera shouted, attempting to dodge Julia. Julia swooped in, tackling Hera, sending her to the floor.

Sammy came back into the room with a tray full of noodles, Aj already chugging the bottle.

“Yo leave some for me!” Nameless exclaimed angrily, rising out of his bunk.

“Are we having a dinner party already?” Zion called, emerging from the door the Forge Master left through.

“Help me!” Julia called helplessly on the ground as Hera and Carla swarmed each other above her.

“Professor Bullshit!” Aj belched, handing the bottle to Nameless.

“What are they fighting about?” Sammy huffed, laying the tray on her knees as she sat.

“Daddy issues, mommy issues, I don’t fucking know,” Nameless groaned, then took a swig.

“Ah, many a war and revolution has been fought for less,” Professor Zion sighed, holding his cup out.

“I’d stay out of this one if I were you.” Nameless grunted, pouring whiskey into the Professor’s cup.

Hera reached back, and swung as hard as she could, clipping Carla in the jaw. Carla immediately folded like a chair, knocked out cold.

“Ayyyyyye!” The vagabonds cheered from their seats.

Hera huffed and climbed on top of Carla.

“Get her off Carla!” Julia frantically called, trying to get up.

“It’s over, Hera, come have a drink,” Nameless called.

Hera ignored him, lodging her knees squarely on Carla’s shoulders.

“Hey, hey, hey, hey!” Spider called.

Nameless bolted upright, leaping out of his bunk, watching in slow motion as Hera started pounding on Carla’s defenseless head. Julia tried grabbing Hera’s arm, but Hera swung at her, too. Julia jumped out of the way as Nameless barreled toward them. Nameless landed his shoulders squarely into Hera’s chest, tackling her and sending her hurtling to the ground.

The air left her body as the two hit the floor. Julia leapt unto Carla, Sammy not far behind. Nameless wrapped Hera in a bear hug, squeezing as hard as he could while Hera struggled.

“Get off me!” Hera shrieked airlessly.

“Is she good?” Nameless roared.

Sammy checked Carla’s vitals.

“Yeah, yeah you got her just in time,” Sammy huffed as she worked.

“I fucking asked for help!” Julia screeched.

“Hera, Hera fucking listen to me, calm down!” Nameless grunted.

Hera squirmed and heaved; she was a lot stronger than she seemed. Thankfully, Nameless was a lot bigger. She grumbled and heaved but relented. A few moments passed, then Nameless got off Hera.

“What were you thinking?” Julia seethed.

Hera spat blood on the floor.

Nameless grunted and got up. He pointed a finger at her. “You ever do some dumb shit like that again; I’m throwing you off this train myself,” he threatened.

Hera stared defiantly up at him but said nothing.

“Perhaps while Carla is being tended to, I’ll brief the plan? That may give miss Hera some time to cool off,” Zion offered delicately.

“Stay away from Carla,” Nameless barked.

He nodded, and the vagabonds carried Carla back toward the back door. Soon after medic spiders arrived with a litter and carried Carla to the rear while Sammy supervised. Hera stayed behind, sitting on the floor with her knees tucked under her arms.

Professor Zion nervously clicked the holographic display on. As the train car darkened, the only remaining light was the landscape rolling past outside the open doors. Across the way, one could see the other armored trains, their engines covered in turrets and radar. Mobile fortresses, nothing on Mars was truly what its name indicated. Everything had to be huge, powerful, and dangerous.

The Martian sectors came into being, floating in blue pixels dancing in the evening light.

Blue lines symbolizing the railways, ran like veins from the red mass of dots labeled Oasis, and the much bigger pile of red dots across the map, the big city. New Washington. Six long orange lines formed, slowly snaking their way up the blue rail veins.

“This is our army,” Professor Zion pointed. “Here are the other armies, marching to aide in the attack.”

He pointed to several other large masses, all traveling by different methods.

“Historically, an army this large hasn’t been formed since the great war. So that is great news. Strategically, we are, how would you lovely Martians put it? Fucked,” Professor Zion sighed.

“What do you mean?” Nameless asked.

“All the air power is hundreds of miles east of us, the sky nomads. The fighters and bombers won’t leave the terraform flotillas until we reach the city. That means each train, each truck convoy, and each tank Colum is to fend for itself from the air,” Professor Zion said.

“We’re waste scum, we’re pretty good at shooting birds down,” Aj said.

“Hmm. Yes, indeed. Well unless those birds were supersonic fighter jets, equipped with heat seekers and god knows what else, I’m afraid you’ll need more than a can-do attitude.” Professor Zion challenged.

“What he means is we’re used to using a lot of anti-aircraft guns,” Julia said sympathetically. Aj grinned.

“I’m debating strategy with people who bayonet charge robots. Why do I bother?” Professor Zion scoffed.

“Why else are we fucked, Professor?” Nameless asked as he studied the map.

“Yes well, the army is far too spread out. Sure, converging onto the capitol is noble, but why can’t we utilize an assembly area before hand?” Professor Zion asked.

“Artillery is a bitch, that’s why. You haven’t seen the big city level a village like we have,” Nameless nodded.

“Ah. Right, yes well I do believe I can help with that,” Professor Zion said.

“What do you mean?” Julia asked.

Zion clicked a button, a new map materializing. This time it was an arial view of the city. It was massive, nearly a hundred miles wide and long. Massive mountains of buildings stood in the center, housing millions no doubt. The skyscrapers surrounding the large habitation blocks made the city look like the bottom of a cave. The big city had everything, massive park, sky port, farms, suburbs, the entire installation sealed in a perfect bubble of breathable air. A delicate forcefield held the rich oxygen in.

“You ain’t breathed right till you’ve breathed city air,” Aj said with wonder.

“Mhm, yes well, in the rest of the solar system, we call that fresh air,” Professor Zion chortled.

“I forgot how fucking huge that place is,” Nameless said.

“Quite expansive. Well, as I said,” Professor Zion realized. He clicked a few buttons, and the artillery positions and defense batteries surrounding the city where highlighted. “These will kill us all. But! If we hit their server bunkers, simultaneously, we can unscramble surface to orbit communications.”

“Allowing the fleet to drop the hammer of the gods,” Nameless said bitterly.

“Allowing the fleet to precisely and accurately engage enemy ground targets guided by local forces,” Zion said earnestly. “Minimal civilian casualties in mind.”

“And how minimal is these minimum civilian casualties exactly?” Julia challenged.

“My dear, if we wanted to just pound Mars back into submission, the barrage would have started months ago. They want to do it right this time,” Professor Zion said.

“So, take out the bunkers, radio your Navy down, they pick you and the vial up?” Nameless asked.

“Precisely, you get handsomely rewarded, and may remain behind to supervise Mars’s development. Or join me off world later once the battle is won of course,” Professor Zion smiled.

Nameless, Aj, and Julia all looked at each other.

“Mind giving us a second?” Nameless asked.

The Professor hesitated, then nodded. He strolled away, going over to sit on his bunk.

Aj exhaled while Julia shivered. The reality of the situation was finally weighing in on them. If they had asked Nameless to do anything even half as crazy as this a few months ago, he would laughed in their faces. They could have given him an entire truck worth of gold, and he would have still said no. But here they were, and he was the man on point. An odd feeling wrestled in his chest, remembering all those cheesy hero stories growing up.

He remembered the stories of the handsome, valiant hero who got the women, killed monsters, and saved the day. He wasn’t that guy, the money they would get from this was worth not even half the trouble. But, if it wasn’t him, then who else?

In that moment, Nameless made peace with what was going to happen. He wasn’t the right guy for the job, he was the only guy for the job. It was on him to get his friends home safe and alive.

“So, we gonna have this talk now?” Aj asked.

“What talk?” Nameless asked.

“The one about what we do after the vial,” Julia said.

“C’mon, we’re not there yet,” Nameless sighed. He felt the vial in his cargo pocket.

“Pretty close, man,” Aj said softly.

“Can we talk about the plan first at least?” Nameless asked desperately.

“What’s there to talk about? Obviously, we got to send people to their deaths as a distraction, while us special folk go in and tear these servers up. Get Professor Bullshit to an airfield and bam, mission accomplished,” Aj shrugged.

“Yeah, see it’s not that simple, and godsdamn, dude, that’s fucking cold,” Nameless said.

“He’s not wrong. I’ll lead the diversion,” Julia said.

“Fuck no,” Nameless snapped.

“I’ll be fine as long as you do your job right,” Julia said harshly.

“Okay, is there something I’m missing here?” Nameless said bewildered.

“No, but clearly I did,” Julia spat. “A farm, a nice quiet farm on some comfy far-off colony, Nameless! None of this king shit!”

“Excuse the fuck out of me, what king shit?” Nameless asked bewildered.

“You are leading an army brother. The Nameless stuff is kinda culty,” Aj shrugged.

“Oh okay. So right now. Now is the time you guys decide to mention this to me? I didn’t fucking ask for this, any of this! I didn’t ask to get torn apart, or shot, or stabbed, and lose my life! You know, I wasn’t doing so bad out there by myself come to think of it. Maybe I should have stayed out there, huh?”

“But that’s what you want! I knew you always only cared about money; you never gave a rat’s fuck about anyone other than yourself your entire life. I can handle a man child obsessed with getting paid, but this new side to you? I see that look in your eye.

You want to stay here and fucking rule! I see how the professor looks at you. You’re a psychopathic little despot in the making, a baby dictator and he can’t get enough of that because that’s his entire expertise! What where you and Hera talking about earlier, huh? You didn’t get her off Carla till the last second; is she gonna be your executioner?” Julia seethed.

Nameless gritted his teeth. “I am fucking trying to keep you assholes alive. Fuck Zion, fuck the council, I’ll fuck off on my own ship to my own colony, and I’ll fucking rule there, how about that, huh?”

“Oh, don’t fucking tuck and run and deny it, you never wanted to leave like I did!”

“That was before all of this bullshit happened!” Nameless spat, whirling his arms like windmills.

“Maybe there’s a miscommunication here, guys,” Aj said cautiously.

“Oh no, there is perfect communication going on right now. Here, on this fucking train. Beloved Invictus, I’m getting a cabin on a moon by myself when this is over,” Nameless groaned.

“Good! At least Mars won’t have its own version of Bonaparte,” Julia spat.

“I don’t even know who that is,” Nameless whined, exhausted.

“A short, angry little man who used violence to dominate innocents to mask for his insecurities, like the little boy he was,” Julia said and stomped away.

AJ and Nameless looked at each other.

“You weren’t planning on being a dictator, were you?” Aj sighed.

Nameless angrily shook his head. He had just wanted to get paid, but he’d take all of them getting out alive at this point.

Aj chuckled softly. “Drink?” Aj asked happily.

“Now,” Nameless seethed.

“You got it, your lordship.”

Aj ducked the murderous look Nameless gave him as he scrambled away. Nameless stood there, a pillar of molten frustration. A throat clearing brought him back to reality. The Professor was acting like he was minding his own business. Nameless grunted angrily and walked over to Professor Zion.

“Ah! My boy, so what’s the plan?” Professor Zion asked happily.

“Don’t act like you didn’t hear all that,” Nameless grumbled as he sat down across from the old man.

Zion sighed. “Stoicism is a fine form of self-expression, or lack thereof. But it does tend to lead to emotional duels. That was quite the show, I must say. You know what you two remind me of, these ancient Hispanic shows that played on tele—”

“I’m just a selfish bastard who only cared about money. Maybe she’s right, maybe I am some kind of monster,” Nameless sighed.

Zion pierced his lips. “If I may, I have faced many a dictator, of many forms in my day. Our train is headed to the very first one I ever interacted with. I like to say that I am indeed an expert on the subject, and you most certainly are not a despot.”

“Then how the fuck does it just click?” Nameless spat. “It’s like a switch. I’m me, someone gets in our way, click—violence, speeches, plans. I’m not me anymore, professor.”

“Nor am I the same man I was yesterday,” Zion said softly. “That switch lies dormant in every man. It is the good ones who harness this, and guard it well. A lack of discipline, and no higher purpose is what drives men to do such horrible things in this world.”

“Then how the fuck doesn’t she get that? All those stupid books she reads,” Nameless said bitterly.

“If she truly knew as much as she acts like, even a little bit about what lies beyond the orbit, the thought of you leaving this planet would terrify her. Even if you did decide to rule Mars, the opportunities that lay beyond dwarf the privileges of being a Martian King.”

“That’s why you’re here, not someone who can do real magic,” Nameless spat.

“Precisely,” Zion said kindly.

Nameless huffed.

“Now, if you two don’t wind up married with children—” Zion started.

“I found the shine!” AJ boomed from the opposite end of the train car.

“Excellent!” Professor Zion called, then winking at Nameless.

“Good,” Nameless groaned.

Aj happily sat down in between Professor Zion and Nameless, using a stool.

The two took their cups and held them up as Aj poured shots.

“Fill her up, Aj,” Nameless said.

“We fighting anyone any time soon?” Aj asked with a raised eyebrow.

“We got stim chems for that,” Nameless spat. “Pour, damn you.”

“Sheesh, boss man, never thought I’d be the good influence,” Aj chuckled.

Aj compromised and filled the cup halfway. The Professor politely accepted just a shot.

“To a dictator free Mars!” Professor Zion toasted happily.

“To a cabin in fuckoffistan,” Nameless growled, chugging the whole glass.