Lately, Harper believed that someone was spying on him.

He couldn’t shake the feeling. One time, while he was doing his business, he felt the presence of another person behind him. That time happened to be when another student caught him in the act and he too wanted in. They were trading sneakers.

The other time, he was actually doing his business, but realized that it was just the air-con breathing on his neck.

The third time, he found someone hiding behind the bushes of his house.

It was Alice. He didn’t know too much about her except that she was one of the most popular girls in school, that she led the girl’s lacrosse team, she competed with Sandy Smith for valedictorian (someone whose name I didn’t just make up because I was too lazy to DuckDuckGo girl name ideas), her favorite color somewhere between pastel pink and earth tones, she grew up with her two best friends that compose her clique, and, once upon a time, she forgot to bring her lunch to school in fifth grade so she cooked one up during class. Besides that, Harper didn’t really know anything about her.

Now, however, he knew she was spying on him. Not only was she outside his house with binoculars and a tent, but he had a hunch. And he always trusted his hunches.

This troubled Harper. His sister would be coming home soon, and he didn’t want to worry her. Worse, if word went around, that would ruin Alice’s perfect reputation. If someone’s going to screw things up for her, it would be Harper, and not his sister. After all, she’s not involved, and he wanted to take full credit for the publicity.

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He could expose her, he thought, but that would be too much work. He sighed and crept up on her nonchalantly.

Harper tapped Alice on the shoulder. “Ah, hey Alice. What a coincidence—”

Her hair pricked like a porcupine and she jumped out like a cat.

The binoculars in her hand flailed and hit Harper.

In the face.

Her spying tool collided with the ground. “My binoculars!” she exclaimed. 

Harper held his face. “Ouch! Am I not going to get a sorry?”

She caressed her spying tool and wept over it. “This cost me three hundred…”

“Well, my eyes are priceless.”

She looked up. “True. Those wouldn’t fetch much on the black market.”

Hold up—

Harper’s hand was reddened by the blood seeping out of his nose. She smacked him real good.

“Aghh…” Harper tried scooping up the bloody stream to no avail. He ran into his house and snuck away to save face.

Inside of his bathroom, he locked the doors, and inspected the damages in front of his sink.

The curtain to the shower opened. Out waltzed Alice.

“I’m going to have to stop you there,” she said nonchalantly. “If I’m going to have to hear another character examining their features in the mirror, I’m going to have to kill you.”

“AH!”

Harper picked up a bottle of lotion and aimed it at her.

“AH! What are you doing?” Alice exclaimed.

“That’s what I should be asking!” Harper yelled.

“Well, I beat you to it. Also, you should think about investing in the fragrance free variety.”

Harper placed the lotion back on the counter, embarrassed.

“How did you…” Harper sighed in defeat. “Okay. What do you want from me?”

Alice explained she was recruiting him into a new club she was starting—and he was specially “invited”, which was apparently a synonym for being flagged for the hit list.

“… Why can’t you tell me now?” Harper asked, his voice squeaking.

“Well…” This time, Alice blushed, pulling the shower curtains over her. “Consider the tpo, would you?” From a corner of the shower, she stuck her tongue out like a kitten.

Harper stomped and dragged Alice out of his house.