The Goblin and the Quill
By David Walby
The wizard was hard at work in his lab, creating his signature concoction—the Elixir of Discernment. It wasn’t an extraordinary event, he had made the same potion a thousand times, but it was important nonetheless. It was something that helped the old man focus, just something to get his old mind working like it used to again… The problem was that they didn’t last.
“I’ve got to go get some more saffron fibers. One potion won’t get me through anything.”
The old man put on his traveling cloak and left the laboratory. However what he did not realize is that he wasn’t alone inside his own chambers. As soon as the old man had closed the solid oak door, a low growl could be heard coming from one of the distant corners of the room. A mangled creature of deep green skin and long pointed ears with a nose that was far too large emerged slowly from the darkness.
“Loot yes!..... Shiny potion of the wizard shall make me powerful!... Yes powerful beyond my wildest dreams it will!” The green hellion mumbled to himself.
The creature shambled over to the table where the potion was sitting. It took the flask and pulled the cork. It took the elixir and downed it in just a few seconds.
He couldn’t tell what the difference was, but the creature could tell that something was off. A few moments later intense pain enveloped it. The creature fell to the floor and writhed in agony for what seemed like hours, but in reality was only a few minutes. The creature blacked out and awoke some time later. Again the creature could not tell what the difference was, but something was off.”
“I must say that was by far the most peculiar experience I’ve hand in quite some time!” the creature exclaimed.
A moment later the effect of the potion became clear to it. “By the Bottom Gods I feel incredible!”
A great toothy grin came across the creature’s face as he looked around at the laboratory before him and got a great number of ideas. Magical lore and arcane knowledge seemingly seeped into his mind from the equipment and materials around him. He held up his clawed hands and marveled as he could see the energy crackling from palm to palm.
“It is as if I have ascended and expanded upon my consciousness a hundred times! I can feel the power! I say that it is time I put this to use!”
Stolen story; please report.
The goblin looked over towards the laboratory’s enchanting table and got an idea. He took a ring and a quill from the table next to him and got to work. First he would take the quill and ascribe it the power to inspire the wielder to write with masterful skill. He prepared the circle and called upon the powers of the deep to fulfill his design. He tapped himself into the laboratories power crystals and began to chant the deep words.
The energies crackled and the creature’s eyes glowed red as he spoke the infernal tongue to bring forth to reality the artifact that he sought to create. However as he went forward his focus began to subside. It became harder and harder for him to keep his mind aligned with the ritual. As time went on his mind began to drift, the potion was wearing off.
“No, no, no, no, not now!”
The goblins intention shifted and so did the nature of the enchantment. The energy was now being shifted and mangled from its original path and it reacted violently. Arcs of electricity shot out and fried the ambitious goblin and all of the laboratories contents.
The wizard, now returning from his errands heard a loud explosion from just outside of his lab. He rushed into his home and was horrified at what he saw.
“What in the bloody hell!?”
All that remained of the overambitious goblin was the quill and a charred pile of what could only be considered to be his remains. Every single piece of equipment in the laboratory was ruined. Every crystal was shattered, every reagent was charred, and every book was burned. The floor was covered in the thick contents of dozens of shattered potions, creating a volatile and toxic mess upon the floor.
The wizard soon recognized the energy signal of the newly enchanted quill and picked it up from within the mess. The wizard slowly began to piece together what had happened after detailed arcane analysis of the energy fields and remains of his laboratory. By the time the wizard had gotten down to what exactly had happened he wasn’t sure on whether to scream or burst out in laughter. He took the quill with him to the Academy and reported them what had happened, but none of his peers believed him until they analyzed the quill for themselves.
The goblin had successfully enchanted the quill alright, but it wasn’t at all what he had intended. He accidentally bound his own soul to the object and now the perverse thoughts of the goblin—one whom was no longer under the effects of the elixir—entered the mind of anyone who attempted to use the quill and made them write the most vile of things. It was a regrettable scenario, but how were they supposed to know the side effects that the elixir would have on a goblin of all things.
“And that my friend is the Tale of the Quill of Lascivious Musing. The moral of the story? Never leave your work unattended or at least make sure that there are no goblins nearby!”
The man took a deep gulp of his beer. “There is no way that actually happened you idiotic bard!”
“On the contrary it did! I am related to the wizard himself!”
“Yeah maybe the goblin!”
The tavern erupted into immense laughter. The bards in these parts… always come up with the wildest of stories. Whether they are true or not only they know for sure, but the never fail to entertain. Varen got up from his seat. It was time to return to his own lab.
“I’d better make sure there are no goblins.” He chuckled to himself.