THE BIG B.M.

The Misfits piled into Andrew's van and a pungent smell filled their nostrils.

"Jiminy Christmas! What the hell is that smell?" asked Jett. He covered his nose as he climbed into the van.

"It wasn't me," said Kitsie. Lauren climbed in the van and sat down between her and Scotty. Deandre, still upset with Kitsie, sat as far away from her as possible in the very back of the van where there were no seats.

"Seriously man, that's fucking nasty," said Rico. He waved a hand in front of his face to disperse the smell.

"You smell it too?" asked Andrew climbing into the driver's seat. "I thought I was the only one."

"Roll down a window man. I don't want to smell that the whole way there," said Deandre.

Andrew rolled down the windows and backed out of the driveway. Daniel was in the front passenger seat staring at the gun in his lap. He wasn’t looking forward to whatever Andrew had planned.

"By the way, where are we going?" asked Lauren. Andrew looked at her from the rear-view mirror and smiled.

"It's a surprise," said Andrew. "Don't worry though, it will be worth it."

"I don't think I can take any more surprises," said Daniel quietly.

Andrew came to a stoplight and looked at him. "What do you mean?" he asked.

Daniel sighed. “Nothing.”

"All right, I can't take it anymore." said Deandre climbing over the back seat. He crawled over Scotty and stuck his head out of the window.

"Deandre, get your ass out of my face," said Scotty leaning back. Deandre ignored him and smiled as he took in a breath of fresh air.

"Everybody quiet," said Andrew. "We're here." He pulled up in front of a gated mansion and turned off the car.

"Where is here?" asked Daniel. There was a gate entrance to the driveway with the letters B.M. on it. "Wait...please tell me you didn't."

"Didn't what?" asked Kitsie. "Who is BM?"

"Brandon Martin," said Andrew. "He's an old friend of ours."

"Why are we here?" asked Ava.

"We're going to rob him." said Andrew. "He went to Barbados for the weekend and won't be back until tomorrow. This is a great opportunity to get back at him for what he did."

"What did he do?" asked Scotty.

Andrew looked at Daniel before answering. "He screwed my best friend."

A collective gasp filled the van. "You’re gay?!" shouted Kitsie in surprise.

Daniel turned around in his seat look toward the back of the van. "I'm not gay," he said, passing a brief glance at Lauren.

"I didn't mean it that way," said Andrew. "Back in college, Brandon took something from Daniel and used it to make a shit ton of money. Money that should belong to Daniel. He's got some of it locked away in a safe and we're going to steal it."

"How do you know that?" asked Daniel with suspicion.

"His wife told me about it while we were having sex," he revealed before pulling out a brass housekey. “I’m a frequent visitor when hubby is away.”

Daniel raised his brow. "You've been having an affair with his wife?"

Andrew shrugged his shoulders. "I didn't know she was his wife when I first started banging her. When I found out who she was I took it as a sign, so I started making plans."

"Andrew, this isn't a sign." Daniel looked back at the house. "It's an omen."

"Calm down," said Andrew, grabbing his gun. "Who's with me on this?"

The Misfits looked at each other before readying their guns. Everyone looked to Daniel for the confirmation.

"C'mon man," said Andrew. "Are you in on this or not?"

Daniel stared at his gun on the dashboard. "I can't believe I'm doing this.” He grabbed his little pink pistol and opened the car door.

"All right," said Rico with a smile. "Finally, we get to have some fun."

The group poured out of the van. Andrew grabbed a bag from the back and ran up to the gate. They all crouched down while Andrew gave them the plan. “Okay, this place has cameras all over. Once we’re through the gate, we’ll need to be careful making our way across the lawn,” he said while pulling a bunch of ladies’ panty hose out of his pockets. "Here. Put these on. They'll hide your faces."

Deandre grabbed one and smelled it. "Man, this smells worse than your car! What is it with this place? Every time we go somewhere my nose gets violated.”

"They belonged to my mom," said Andrew. "They were all I could think of to grab on short notice."

"Did your mom ever bathe?" asked Kitsie. She regretfully slipped them over her head.

"Why didn't you wash these?" asked Daniel.

"There wasn't enough time," said Andrew.

"Why do you have a bunch of your mother's old panty hose anyway?" asked Ava.

"He's a bit of a hoarder. He keeps everything," said Daniel.

"I prefer the term collector," said Andrew. “Just like my dad.”

"You collect old panty hose?" asked Scotty.

Lauren sighed impatiently. "Enough about the damn panty hose. At least our faces are covered if anyone sees us. Now how do we get in there?"

"Okay, so this place has a security system," said Andrew putting on a pair of leather gloves. "Luckily, his wife gave me the code to disable it. I'll go in the back. You guys wait here until I give the signal. Stay low."

Andrew took off before anyone could speak and climbed over the gate. Like a secret agent, he dipped and dived while making his way across the open lawn as if to avoid being seen, though he was still quite visible. He threw himself to the ground and rolled across the grass until he disappeared to the back of the house.

"Your friend seems like a bit of an idiot," said Rico.

Daniel nodded in agreement and slipped the panty hose over his head. Soon, Andrew opened the front door and motioned for them to come in. They stood up and cautiously made their way over to him. They quickly went inside the house and were shocked by what they saw. The house had an open floor plan with wall-to-wall white marble flooring. Giant pillars supported the high ceilings and a huge spiral staircase led upstairs to a balcony overlooking the first floor. A giant crystal chandelier added to the gaudy atmosphere.

Andrew tinkered with a button pad by the door. “Give me a minute to disable the cameras,” he ordered before pulling out a crinkled note from his pocket. It had a messy series of numbers scrawled on it.

“Why didn’t you disable the cameras before we got in the house?” asked Daniel. “Then we wouldn’t have to wear the hose on our heads.”

Andrew paused a moment, signaling to the group that he hadn’t thought of that. Ava shook her head in disbelief. “See? He’s a fucking dimwit.”

“I may still surprise you,” said Andrew with a smile. He brought the note closer to his face as if to read it easier before punching in the numbers. After a few beeps on the button pad, the cameras were shut off and Andrew took the hose off his head. The rest followed suit with sighs of relief for the fresh air. Andrew proceeded to a long corridor off the front entrance and whispered, “I'm pretty sure the safe is in the study. Follow me.”

"Why are you whispering?" asked Daniel. "I thought you said no one was home?"

"Just in case," said Andrew. Daniel rolled his eyes and continued to follow him into the study. Once in the study, Andrew walked over to a large bookshelf and looked behind it. "I think I see it. Someone help me move this thing."

Rico and Jett walked over to help Andrew move the bookshelf. Once it was away from the wall it revealed a small metal wall safe. Andrew smiled triumphantly as the group crowded behind him.

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"Okay, so we found the safe. Now, how are we going to crack this thing?" asked Lauren.

Andrew smiled again and unzipped the bag to pull out a drill. He started setting the drill against the safe and pulled out another contraption to hold the drill in place. Once the drill was set, Andrew pressed a small button and the drill started up. Metal shavings from the safe flaked away into a pile on the floor.

"Where did you learn to do that?" asked Daniel.

"You can learn a lot from the internet," said Andrew. "It’s going to take a few minutes to break through. "

"Why don't we take a look around then?" asked Rico. “Must be other stuff we can steal while we’re waiting.”

Andrew stepped back and let the drill do its job while they all spread out across the house. Rico, Deandre, and Jett looked around upstairs while Lauren, Andrew, and Daniel stayed in the study. Scotty, Kitsie, and Ava took a look outside.

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Lauren walked about the study and examined the books. She spotted a small book lying open on a table. It was a book of poetry. She sat down in a chair and flipped through it. She hadn’t read one full page before Andrew stepped up to her side.

"So, how are you?" he asked with a wink.

Lauren rolled her eyes. "Look, you're nice and everything, but I'm not interested."

“You sure? You and I could have a lot of fun together.”

"I'd rather not.”

Andrew looked down at his feet. “Too bad,” he said, twisting his foot on the ground. “So, what about that other girl? The dark haired one?”

“Ava?” Lauren was confused. “What about her?”

Andrew opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by a loud ‘SNAP’.

Daniel pointed to the drill. "Andrew, I think something is wrong.”

"It's cool, I was prepared for this. The drill bit broke. I have another one," said Andrew reaching into his bag. He pulled out another drill bit and replaced it with the broken one.

"I don’t understand how you’re able to do all of this," said Daniel with surprise. “You can barely work a microwave.”

Andrew shrugged his shoulders and gave Daniel a bashful smile. “Maybe your brain is starting to rub off on me?”

Within moments, Kitsie burst into the room, out of breath and dripping wet. Her wide eyes spotted Lauren and Daniel from across the room. She stood in the doorway, her chest heaving with hard and frantic breaths, while a puddle of water formed under her feet.

“Kitsie?” asked Lauren. “What’s wrong?”

Kitsie pointed behind her and stammered. “There’s…there’s something wrong with Scotty. I tried to get to him, but…just come on,” she said rushing out of the room. She ran toward the backyard and called for the others to follow her.

Lauren threw her book on the floor, grabbed her gun, and ran out of the room.

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Daniel hesitated to leave until Andrew said, “Go help your girlfriend. I got this.”

“My girlfriend? She’s not my girlfriend,” said Daniel.

Andrew pushed him out of the room. “Dude, go! I got this.”

Daniel nodded and ran out to the backyard. There he saw Lauren, Kitsie, and Ava standing by the side of a huge swimming pool. Lauren got down on her knees and tried to reach for something floating in the deep end. The closer Daniel got to the pool, the sooner he realized what it was. It was Scotty, floating face first in the water. Daniel picked up his speed. Without hesitation, he dove into the water and swam until he reached Scotty. He struggled some but was able to pull the young boy over to the edge of the pool.

“Help me get him out,” said Daniel. Lauren rushed to help. She grabbed Scotty by his limp arms and pulled him out of the water while Daniel climbed out of the pool. He helped lay Scotty gently on his back, watching to make sure his head didn’t hit the pavement. He lightly shook Scotty to get a sense of his condition. “Come on, buddy.”

“Scotty?” asked Ava, her voice full of worry. When she didn’t get a response, she looked to Daniel for answers. “Why isn’t he answering?”

“He’s inhaled a lot of water,” said Daniel tilting Scotty’s head back. “He’s drowning.”

Daniel proceeded to perform CPR, a skill he picked up from one of his summer jobs as a Lifeguard several years back. He breathed two breaths into Scotty’s mouth and started performing chest compressions, thrusting his hands up and down in succession. He repeated this pattern for close to ten minutes. The poor boy’s condition was left unchanged. Daniel wasn’t sure what to do. Normally, he’d call 911, but that wasn’t an option considering their circumstances. He looked at Scotty’s body laying motionless next to him. He placed two fingers on Scotty’s neck to check for a pulse. There was none.

“Why isn’t he moving?!” screamed Ava. She reached next to her for Kitsie, hoping to find some sort of comfort. “What’s wrong with him?!”

Daniel bowed his head. “I’m sorry…I think he’s gone.”

“Gone? Gone where?” asked Kitsie before pointing to Scotty. “He’s right there!”

Lauren cautiously walked up to Daniel's side. She knelt down and stared at him, her eyes full of questions. “What do you mean he’s gone?”

Daniel did his best to avoid her. “I mean, he’s—”

A loud gasp and the sound of coughing cut Daniel’s words short as Scotty stirred next to him. Daniel’s jaw dropped. But, how is that possible? His heart stopped beating…didn’t it? Perhaps, he was wrong. It didn’t matter either way, the boy was alive.

Scotty sat up. “What happened?” he asked between coughs.

Ava and Kitsie pushed Daniel out of the way to hug Scotty tight. “I don’t know what just happened,” said Ava squeezing his neck. “But I know you weren’t here for a minute. I think Daniel brought you back.”

“He did?” asked Scotty. He wasn’t sure what was happening but was grateful for the attention from the girls. He smiled and hugged them back. "Maybe I should fall into pools more often."

Daniel stood up and pushed his wet hair back with his fingers. Lauren held a strong stare on him. “You said 'he was gone'. What did you mean by that?” she asked.

Daniel took a deep breath. “I keep telling you that things are different here. People are fragile. They get hurt. They get sick. They even die.”

“But they come back right?” asked Kitsie out of curiosity. “If someone dies, they come back.”

Daniel looked away. He closed his eyes for a moment and opened them to meet Lauren’s concerned gaze. “No. They don’t come back,” he said quietly.

Scotty’s eyes grew wide. “Where do they go?” he asked.

Daniel didn’t get a chance to answer because he was interrupted by a blaring alarm sounding from inside the house. Andrew ran outside with a bag full of money and rushed to the front gate. “There was a separate alarm system for the safe!” he exclaimed. “I got the money. Let’s go!”

The sound of dogs barking increased in volume as two Doberman Pinschers ran from around the corner of the house, chasing Deandre, Jett, and Rico. “These mongrels came out of nowhere!” screamed Jett as he hopped a row of bushes. “Let’s hit the road fellers!”

Rico stopped running and aimed his gun at the dogs. He pulled the trigger several times, but nothing happened. The gun just clicked numerous times in a row. Rico cursed under his breath and resumed a fast course to the front gate. The rest of group was already there, helping each other over to the other side. Rico bypassed the group, jumped, and flipped over the giant gate. He landed feet first on the other side. Daniel stared at him, astonished by what he just saw.

“How the hell did you do that?” he asked. There was no time for an answer as the dogs were closing in on their location. Daniel struggled but managed to climb over the gate before running to the van. Once everyone was accounted for, Andrew peeled out of the driveway and sped down the road.

“I can’t believe you dragged me into this!" yelled Daniel. He glared at Andrew from the passenger’s seat.

“I dragged you into this?” asked Andrew. “I recall you saying you were going to rob a bank before. You think a bank robbery would have gone smoother?”

Rico threw his gun up to the front seat. “Daniel’s right. That whole thing was a waste of time,” he scoffed. “And this gun is a piece of shit. Damn thing wouldn’t even fire.”

Andrew picked up the gun with his free hand. While trying to keep an eye on the road, he inspected the gun and chuckled. “You have to turn the safety off,” he said while flipping a switch on the side of the gun. He tossed it back to Rico.

“What kind of pussy ass world is this where you need safety switches on guns?” asked Rico.

As a slice of irony, the gun immediately misfired once he finished speaking. A bullet narrowly missed his face and shot a hole in the roof of the van. Rico sat completely still, not fully understanding how close he came to death, but knowing that something bad almost happened to him. Without saying anything, Lauren slowly reached over and turned the safety back on. Rico put the gun on the floor and cleared his throat. He remained silent until they reached Andrew’s house.

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Once they were back at Andrew’s house, they gathered in the kitchen to count their spoils. Andrew threw his bag on the table and unzipped it to reveal several wads of cash.

"Now that's what I'm talking about," said Rico grabbing a handful of bills. He brought it to his nose and sniffed it. “Why can’t everything in this world smell like fresh money?”

Daniel stood back and watched The Misfits count the cash. He still didn’t enjoy the fact that he just committed a felony, no matter how much he needed the money. The last two days had completely uprooted him from his quiet routine, and he was now playing babysitter to a bunch of…well, misfits. He shook his head at the thought. He wondered how Andrew would take the news if he knew who his new “friends” really were. He’d probably take it in stride like most things in his life. Andrew never questioned anything and always had fun. Daniel was always the levelheaded one, the one who never got in trouble, the one who never did anything, and he liked it that way. At least, he thought he did. Certain things about the last couple days made him think otherwise.

He found himself staring at Lauren. She was laughing at Rico, who was sitting in a chair lovingly hugging an armful of money. She had a joyful and contagious laugh. Daniel found himself smiling just by hearing it. He looked away from her when his cellphone vibrated in his pocket. He pulled it to check the caller ID. It was his mother. "Hello?" he answered.

"Daniel sweetheart? I know it's late, but we didn't get a chance to talk much this morning. I just wanted to remind you of your Aunt Gwen's wedding this Wednesday," said Marie

"Shit. I forgot all about it."

"I figured you had what with…everything you've been doing lately. Speaking of which, I was thinking, you should bring one of those nice young women with you."

"Or both," said his little brother Lewis in the background.

"Um, I don't know if—“

"I was just thinking it would be a good idea for you to bring a plus one. You always show up to these types of things alone," said Marie.

“I’ll think about it, ma. I’ll call you later okay?” Daniel tried to muffle the phone when a collective scream filled the room as the spoils reached $100,000. “I’m a little busy right now.”

"Okay. I'll let you go. Goodbye sweetheart."

"Goodbye, ma."

Daniel hung up the phone just in time to see Lauren sauntering over to him. "Everything okay?” she asked.

"Yeah, everything’s fine," said Daniel. He paused for a moment and stared at her, thinking about his aunt’s wedding.

Lauren gave him a perplexing look. “Then why are you staring at me like that?”

Daniel shook his head to break his stare and cleared his throat. “My—uh—my aunt’s wedding is in a couple days,” he said looking down at his feet. Why am I even considering this? I hate weddings. He lifted his head, met Lauren’s eyes, and cleared his throat. “You…uh…wanna go with me?”

“I’ve never been to a wedding before,” said Lauren. She lightly bit her lower lip and furrowed her brow in thought. "Why me? Why not ask Kitsie or Ava?"

"I mean, I guess I could ask one of them,” said Daniel. “That is, if you don’t want to go.”

“I didn’t say that,” said Lauren abruptly. She crossed her arms and gave him a serious look of concern. After a brief moment of silence, she asked “If you hadn’t done what you did with Scotty, would he have died?”

Daniel hesitated to answer her at first, but soon gave a truthful, “Yes…and I thought he had.”

“Would he have come back?” she asked quietly.

“No,” sighed Daniel. He put his hands in his pockets and looked down at his feet again.

Lauren softened her stare. “Okay,” she said gently.

Daniel looked up, not fully hearing what she had said. “What?” he asked.

“I said, ‘okay’,” she replied. “I’ll go with you.”

Daniel quietly said, “Thank you”. She returned his thanks with a small smile and rejoined her friends around the table, leaving him to his nerves and growing anxiety for the upcoming Wednesday.