Revision rule: No major changes to the current plot. More magic, more sense of mystery and awe. No need to reread anything, unless you're bored or I'm slow again.
That said, if you're interested in the new arc that will replace or incorporate portions of the first several chapters, but don't have the time to go back to the early chapters, then click on the spoiler below for an unprecedented, behind-the-scenes look at my actual outline notes! If you only want the tl;dr, then read on and don't open the spoilers.
Goals: Show genuine friendships and warmth. Aspiration for Nuri to be like his dad. Crafting emphasis—put his talent on display! Show his skill and good side. It's okay to express a tinge of sadness and feeling lost at times, but try to avoid the overwhelming whining in the original scenes. Build up more naturally to the jaguars, which are now a smaller ambush.
Otherwise, it's all fairly similar, just with the character interactions smoothed out.
(Note from the future: these plans only covered the first eight chapters. I made them prior to my rewrite of book one, so the chapter numbers don't line up anymore, and these notes don't include the academy arc I added recently.)
Chapter: opening with glass-making right from the beginning. Nuri is skilled, confident, and creative. Foreshadow the all-Densmore triennial glass competition.
Nuri is overseeing a small glass studio in the neighboring town of Peliharaon. He celebrates feeling like a king for three days a week when he's not working at the Silaraon studio. He's entrusted with new responsibilities at a small studio and excited to teach the foundations of glass to the next generation.
Chapter: Running the hot shop in Peliharaon is his chance to show off a little bit, so he makes something extravagant, albeit non-magical (the first intro to glass, so he makes sure it's got some pizzazz). We see the first hint of his insecurity around Skill use due to his parents dying to mana plague. He's self-conscious about only having a single Skill; contrast with other workers in the studio.
Brief moment of melancholy about deceased father and mother due to reminder of the mana plague—also establish Nuri's close ties to Mikko and his family by highlighting that Nuri just moved out on his own thanks to the increased income from this new job: though his new cabin is much closer to the neighboring village, he misses his adopted family
On lunch break, he reads an adventure book with a recounting of Tem Cytekin's escapades. Plant the seed of longing for an adventure of his own. He returns to the hot shop floor to finish up a project and win a lucrative commission—show strong salesmanship and competence as well as his big plans for the future
If you encounter this narrative on Amazon, note that it's taken without the author's consent. Report it.
Chapter: Actual friends! Birthday party! Family dinner and surprise presents. His friends surprise him with a birthday gift—with the help of Rakesh, the Linas tracked down a public record of an old military posting with his father’s face on it thanks to a [Flash Painter]. Describe his appearance by comparison with his father.
More crafting, friendlier banter, plans for turning the money from the commission into funding for Mikko’s dream—the Iron Lunk. Until now, money has been the limiting factor. The two work together and plan ahead, fulfilling the commission (a joint project of both metal and glass, with gears and glowing glass sun) to earn the funding for the Iron Lunk. , This way, the expensive tool doesn't just pop up out of nowhere, and it shows us that Nuri is capable of making goals for the future and seeing things through to the end.
Chapter: Ember announces she'll come along to audit Nuri's administrative work over the last month and to oversee completion of the commission for Lord Garman. She'll use one of her skills, embered heart, creating a burning SUN out of glass. They'll work together to mount it in a mechanical system made by Mikko so that the turn of a small handle, the crankshaft will make the sun appear to rise and set, casting further shadows in the glass grotto Nuri created. She's more of a mentor and less of a standoffish figure now.
Along the way, Ember gets sidetracked to harvest some rare ginseng root that can be used for medicinal purposes; she'll sell them off in Peliharaon to defray the cost of the trip (since she's away from her own studio for the day). Nuri goes on ahead and is ambushed by the jaguars. He fights them off a little better this time than in the opening of the initial story, using his staff and fighting like Ember showed him (she trains and supports him in this version). He opens himself to his [Lesser Heat Manipulation] to alternatively burn and freeze jaguars, but Nuri still needs Ember to come in to save him.
Although he's wounded, they make decent time to the village, where they find more of the pack threatening the citizens. Ember finishes them off, and she personally hunts down the rest of the pack.
Chapter: Initial discussions of more intentional mana use and training. This will reuse much of the current chapter four with Ezio, but include plans for the future and discussion of mana imbuing in regard to crafting. After this, we'll move into the scouting arc with Tem in chapter six, etc, and that brings us to the rest of the story.
Bonus: foreshadowing Tem accidentally responsible for the mana-burning plague by unleashing void powers on this realm.
So, what's left after that? The following plans are not going to happen by the 27th, but I'll work on these changes in my spare time:
I'll do a quick pass on current chapters to drop the whining and complaints as much as possible, and also reduce the acerbic teasing. Nuri is more grounded and capable. I'll adjust interactions so that Ezio and Nuri have an amicable, respectful relationship, not quite so antagonistic. In chapters seven and eight, I'll make tweaks to the first wraith fight to make it clearer that Nuri is hiding, not fighting, so there's no confusion about his power curve, and I will introduce the mystery with mana and void as opposites.
In chapter twelve, I'll edit the Labyrinth sections so there's no talk until they're safe; more running in silence, less breaking up the action for dialogue and exposition. Speaking of exposition, the ridiculously long chapter twenty three will be cut up a bit, as mentioned in the above notes for the new chapter five. Rakesh is a slightly more prominent character now.
And that's it! After these updates, I'm ALL IN on the future arcs. I hope you enjoy the rest of the adventure. It's going to be a ton of fun.