The person who said sailors swear much hasn’t had the misfortune of meeting an adventurer. Usually covered in a mix of filth and sweat and on their way somewhere dangerous, they speak loudly and without care. That is undoubtedly how Noah perceived the two adventurer’s walking down the street.

“Excuse me,” he said, hoping for directions to the adventure guild. He had traveled and lived on the road for a week, to reach the closest city with an adventurers guild. It was called Glados and housed a population of roughly five hundred thousand. “Do you two know where the adventurers guild is?”

“Look at this brown-nosed, flat-chined twat! Now, why might you want to fucking go to the fucking guild? Huh?” One taller man said. He wore a black coat that covered most of his body except for his rough, calloused hands, his filthy brown boots, and his horrifying face.

His nose was sharp, pointy, like somebody had sharpened the top. It seemed to have been broken a number of times, and the skin seemed rougher than a callous. His eye, of which Noah saw only one as the other was covered by black cloth, was brown but his pupils had a off-putting triangle shape.

He preaches to the goddess Ignis. Noah didn’t know much about anything as he’d grown up on a village in the middle of no where, but he did know one thing that adventurer’s gained their skills from differents gods, but that their body would be morphed as well.

“I want to be an adventurer, sir,” Noah said.

“Sir!” The man burst out. “Do you hear this cock-mouthed brat, Boris?”

“He makes as much a sense as his mother with my cock in her mouth,” Boris responded.

“Hey,” Noah said, suddenly red in the face. “Take back your words!”

“Watch yourself brat, before I cut off that little tongue of yours,” Boris said.

Unlike his larger friend, Boris was a short man with a large red pimple on the top of his nose. He’d cut his hair so that he was almost bald. He also wore a robe except it looked to be made out a finer and lighter substance, perhaps silk. It waved to the flow of the air, and Noah occasionally saw the glint of a blade. On his right cheek, there was a tattoo of a tiny viper, that Noah could see slowly moving.

What god does that represent?

“I didn’t want to do this,” Noah said as he pulled out the short sword his father had given him before leaving. “But you’re leaving me no choice. I challenge you to a duel.”

Boris and the tall man started laughing at the same moment. It was as if both had received the cue to laugh at the same time, but Noah couldn’t spot any signal or find anything funny about the situation.

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Do they not do duels anymore?

“Johnson,” Boris said. “Do you hear this fuck? A fucking duel.”

Johnson wheezed. “That’s golden that is. Properly fucking golden.”

“Prepare yourselves then I won’t attack a man without his guard up,” Noah said, getting more flustered by the second. His shaking hands showed the anger bubbling up beneath him. He wanted nothing more at that moment than to dice those two men up into pieces and show them what would happen to anybody that talked bad about his mother.

Boris laughed so loud he snorted like a pig. “Are you sure you don’t want to become a knight kid? I think that profession would suit you a lot better.”

“Ouch,” Johnson said. “Now that’s an insult worth fighting for.

“I don’t want to become a knight,” Noah said. “I don’t want to stand around following princesses around. I want to adventure around the world like a proper adventurer. See the different sights. Meet different people. Fight with great monsters!”

Boris snorted. “You don’t really know the first thing about being an adventurer, do you? You’ll be scrubbing the sewers the first couple of years. Plenty of fine sights for you to see there.”

“Ahh but Boris don’t you remember the gorgeous rats down there? And the wonderful sights of shit and piss? Oh and the crocodiles. Do you remember them? The great crocodiles, they’ll snap right through your arms as if they’re made out of branches. They’re something to be careful about.”

“I’ll kill one,” Noah said.

“He’ll kill one!” Johnson laughed.

“Boy,” Boris began. “The rats will be enough to send you to the light.”

“I’ll send you to the light!” Noah said and charged at Boris, swinging his sword downwards.

Thump!

Darkness.

He woke up with the sun staring right at him, and he felt something itchy on his chest. He looked down to find a small note there, with something scribbled on it. He doubted he’d be able to make out what it said even if he could read.

And he realized very quickly that he was completely naked. It had taken a moment for his body to process the gravel pushing against his bottom and back, and the sensation of fresh air brushing up against his junk. As shame made his face red, he noticed that the people of Glados walked around him without caring much.

“Damn, damn it!” Noah said, covering his junk and standing up. He noticed that two girls about his age were eyeing him from the side of the street and that made the embarrassment much worse. Pink, red in the face he ran for cover, which was an alleyway just past the side of the street.

I need clothes. Where can I get clothes? Ahh damn it.

He hadn’t expected to win the fight with the two adventurers. They had already picked a god to serve which made their already well-trained body stronger, and even gave them supernatural abilities.

But he thought he’d stand a better chance than he had. In his mind he’d get to swing his sword about a little bit more, feel it clash against theirs, get to use some of the footwork he’d practiced for quite long.

Although the fight was over quicker than he expected. Were all fights going to be decided that quicky?