Chapter 1,

Between Reality and Dreams

“Isn’t the moon beautiful?”

We were holding hands, looking beside a river stream. The place was near perfect, with a smooth wind blowing, making her hair move away from her face slowly. The sound of the river flowing created a calm and peaceful place to be together, and the sound of crickets chirping made it a nice night.

I could feel her smooth and cold hands on my palm, and her soft voice was as beautiful as she was. We were both having a great time, my heart full of excitement and love. I could have never felt this way. It was almost like everything was a dream and nothing was real.

My eyes were closed and full of tears as I realized that it was all my imagination and nothing was real. Slowly, as I opened my eyes, I came back to reality and back to loneliness. Back to the dark room in Tokyo where I stay. Dishes were still in the sink, water slowly running from the tap, the TV was still on but with no channel, and garbage was overflowing from the trash. As I came to my lonely senses, I felt sad, but it wasn’t my first time.

My bed was near a window, and I could see the sky. I could see the moon and had the window slightly open, and a smooth breeze was hitting my face, changing the direction of my tears to the side. I could feel the warmth of spring in the wind.

As I was looking at the sky, I saw a shooting star.

“I wish I had someone to love and stay with,” I said.

As I closed my eyes and made my wish, I dropped to my side, landing my head on my pillow. I grabbed my thin blanket, wrapped myself like a baby, and slowly went to my favorite place—the dream world.

The birds were chirping, and the sun was shining on my face. The sky was clear, and outside, everyone was rushing and going about their daily lives as usual. I grinned, stood up, and closed my window curtain. I stared at my dark room. I had thought of dying and ending my life as it felt worthless. I remembered being left at the orphanage when I was just a baby. I never knew my parents, and no one ever came to visit me. I had no one, not even someone to call a friend. From a young age, I was quiet and didn’t talk to others much. That affected my social skills, and now I’m all alone.

I tried to talk with my colleagues at work but was always ignored and left out of everything. Work parties, farewells, Christmas, and New Year’s—every time I was the only one not there, and no one even bothered to call me. But I never minded those actions; even I wouldn’t have invited me.

I stood up and went to my bathroom. It was still unclean. The toilet bowl was a murky brown, and the tiles were stained, with some broken. Although it didn’t smell much, a slight smell of urine and stains were still noticeable. I undrained my bladder and flushed it. As the water went through the toilet bowl, I turned to the mirror and looked at myself.

The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.

Dark circles around my eyes, eye bags, my hair was messy as always and long, reaching till my mouth. I noticed that my body was losing weight because of multiple skipped meals. But I, as always, ignored it, picked up my brush, and started brushing. I splashed my face with water and got out.

I opened my fridge. A small light flickered as I stared at its emptiness. “Why am I even opening it? I’m not going to have anything anyway,” I thought to myself. “For self-satisfaction, I guess,” I muttered with a little laugh to myself and went on. I picked up my bag. As the door got closer and my hand almost touched the handle, I paused.

“I really hope something good happens today… but who am I kidding?”

I grabbed the handle, opened the door, and stepped outside. A bright sun shone on my face, making me question why my life couldn’t be as bright as the sun. I started walking, keeping my head down and avoiding eye contact with passersby. As I kept my eyes glued to the ground, a soft hand came from behind and grabbed mine. I looked back and saw the person.

Eyes as pure and blue as the ocean, smiling and looking at me. Her face was beautiful, like the kind of beauty you see in dreams but never in real life. It reminded me of the warmth and connection I’d longed for my entire life, something I’d always believed was out of reach for someone like me.

"who are you?"

She just looked at me and smiled. I was speechless. I felt a sense of love and happiness. My heart was beating fast, and I tightened my grip on her hand and started walking.

"are you heading  to subway too?"

She slightly nodded with her eyes closed and a heartwarming smile. Then she looked back at me, and I gazed deeply into her eyes.

"would you mind joining me?"

She looked down like a baby who was blushing and shake her head, I tightened my grip, as if I would never let go of her hand again, and started walking toward the underground tunnel. The whole way, my heart was full of excitement and joy. I felt like a kid who had been lost and finally reunited with his mother. I kept asking her questions, but she didn’t reply, only nodding for yes and shaking her head for no.

We reached the subway and sitting next to each other and smiling at each other, i was happy and looked at her again and again, i wished this never ended and get stuck at this moment for ever, I noticed people around were looking at us strangely and whispering, but I ignored them and placed my hand on hers, which was resting on her lap.

"excuse me, is somebody going sit next to you?"

I looked up to the person who asked me and a old man with with a walking stick was standing Infront of me with a gentle smile.

"oh, yes, she is sitting there, would like to my sit?"

"who is sitting there?"

"she is..."

As I turned back to look at her, my heart sank into emptiness again. The seat was empty, and my hand rested on it where I thought I had been holding hers. I felt lost again, back in the darkness, but I ignored it and forced a smile. It wasn’t my first time. I removed my hand from the seat and looked back at the old man with a smile.

"I am sorry, nobody is sitting here please take a sit"

The old man smiled at me and toke a sit next to me, i squeezed my bag and made my self smaller and looked down until i reached my stop.