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'Well, the dead body didn't just appear from thin air, right?'; said Horatio.

'Right.'; confirmed Day with no idea what he was agreeing.

'So where could he have come from?'

'Huh? I don't know, dude, he was already there, dead, in my living room with his brains out.'

Horatio nodded, insightful. 'Okay, why we don't call the police or something?'

Day shook his head, clearing away the last traces of sleepiness. 'And tell what? Oh, it is just a dead body that magically appeared in my living room. Dude, nobody is going to believe me!'

'But they should,' Horatio said. 'Right? You didn't do anything. There shouldn't be any of your DNA relevant on the body, and where is the crime weapon? Nowhere!'

'No way, man. They're not going to understand what's happening here.'; said Day: 'I don't understand what is going on here!'

'Maybe if we call the police, we won't speak with the police. Remember what happened at the lab when we did?'

'What happened at the lab? With the con guy? What was his name again?'

'Schrodinger. Ecke Schrodinger.'

'How do you know his full name?'

'Penny met him, but I'll explain it later.' Horatio said, hurrying, still focusing his mind on solving this dadaist riddle.

'I think I know what we need to do to get rid of our buddy here. Dissolve the body with hydrochloric acid or nitric acid'; suggested Day, suddenly enlighted by his recollection of criminal night podcast.

'What is wrong with you?' asked Horatio, placing his coat over the couch and starting to roll up his sleeve. 'We are going to make the body disappear in thin air.'

Day stared at him blankly: 'How? I don't have any oxidiser at home.'

'We are going to open a door, throw the body.’ Horatio paused for an instant before continuing, trying to persuade himself with what he was saying: ‘And when we open it, it will be gone! I hope.'

'What the fuck? What?'; said suddenly. Day snapped back to reality. 'Are you insane?' he asked. 'You want us to throw a body in a room and expect it to disappear like that?'

'You'll see, trust me.'; Horatio grabbed the dead's man feet and made a sign to Day to hold the arms. 'Let's drag it to the bathroom!'

The two men clumsily dragged the dead man in front of the bathroom. Horatio opened the door and pushed the body on its wheel across the tiled floor, leaving a trail of blood and gore.

'Now watch!'; said Horatio confidently, closing the door. They waited a couple of minutes and reopened the door. But the body was still there, staining the bathroom floor.

'What the fuck, dude? What was the plan? You think you're Houdini, now?'; said Day, rubbing his nose against his hands smeared in dry blood.

'At least we tried.' Horatio grabbed his phone and dialled the police number, frustrated. He was almost about to bite his nails when he realised and stopped that putting his fingers in his mouth was not very hygienic after moving a dead body.

This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

'Police Department, how may I help you?'; greeted a sweet voice from the other end of the line.

'Hi, this is Horatio Clock. We would like to speak to inspector Ecke Schrondiger.'

'Huh, Sir, you are calling an emergency line.'

'Schrodinger.'; pronounced Horatio slowly, as if the name was some code. He repeated it twice more, then added: 'Horatio Clock.'

The woman on the other side seemed to hesitate for just a moment longer than expected but finally said: 'I understood, Sir, but I can't just transfer your call. You need to report your emergency. And to be honest, I don't think we have anyone in the police station with that name.'

Day interrupted Horatio's conversation by shouting: 'WTL!'

An automated voice could be heard: 'Please hold the line. Thank you for contacting the Pi WTL department. Your call is important to us. Remember, today is the tomorrow Pi worried about yesterday. Until next time we meet.'; the automatic message was interrupted by a young voice: 'Marie-Sue talking, when can I help you?'

'Hello Marie-Sue,' replied Horatio quickly. 'I wonder if you can, this is Horatio Clock. I wanted to speak with Mr Schrodinger, please.'

The girl hesitated again before replying: 'Mr Schrödinger isn't available right now. Could I have your WTL number, please?'

'My what?'

'Your WTL Number', she explained patiently. 'It is the nine-digit code which allows you access to the common services offered by the foundation.' She waited awkwardly while Horatio looked at Day, who was shrugging his shoulder. 'Sir? Are you still with me?'

'Can I provide my social security number?' Horatio asked, not hoping much.

'No, Sir, I need the WTL number. It should be on your 3.14 card.'; Marie Sue explained.

'I don't have a WTL number, I'm afraid.'; Horatio tried to explain.

'It is like a credit card or maybe one of those little cards they give you at the supermarket. You don't have it?'

'Do you mean a driver's license?'; asked Horatio.

'How did you get this number? Please hold!'; Marie Sue forgot to mute the call, and Horatio and Day could hear everything in the background. 'I have a dude calling me. I don't know from when. He is not one of us. No. Hum, a candidate? Are you sure? He sounded dumb. So how do I know he is a candidate? He did mention one of the founders' names. Yeah, sure, here. Do you mind if I take a break? Okay, thanks.'; an older voice, male, picked up the line: 'Hello, with whom am I speaking?'

'This is Horatio Clock?'; answered Horatio.

'Sir, you shouldn't be using this number. This is an unauthorised disclosure, with punitive termination.'

'I just want to talk to Mr Schrodinger, Ecke Schrodinger! That's all that I want. Please let us speak to him.'; Horatio almost begged, trying to ignore the threat he had just heard.

'Well, sir...'; the man began hesitantly, 'we cannot allow people to use our lines without proper identification. Do you have such a WTL ID?'

Horatio had been looking down at the ground as he spoke. 'No, I don't. We only have a dead body that came from nowhere.'

'Excuse me?'

'We have a dead body in my friend's living room. We didn't do anything. It just showed up, like the DNA package you sent us! And then you collected it, today!’; at this point Horatio was shouting: ‘So again, may I speak with Mr Schrodinger?'

There was a pause, and the man sighed over the phone before saying: 'Okay, so you guys are trying to get rid of a corpse, well okay, I'll put you through. Fuck this shit.' after a long beep, finally, a familiar voice: 'What do you want?'

'We need your help, Mr Schrodinger.'; explained Horatio: 'There is a dead body in my friend's living room.'

'I know. So, what?'

'Oh good god, finally. Will you help us?'

'Yeah yeah, whatever you want.'

'Thank you, thank you very much.' Horatio said gratefully into the phone. 'So what exactly is your plan? Because we tried to dissolve it in thin air by closing it in the bathroom, but it didn't disappear.'; explained Horatio realising how ridiculous he sounded: ‘It didn’t work.’

Schrodinger laughed on the phone for quite a bit. 'Don't worry, pal. It will vanish sooner or later. No need to do anything. If it doesn't disappear, it will be gone when your timeline is deleted. Everything is fine. Just enjoy yourself with the time you have left.'

'What, I don't understand.'

'Thank you for contacting the Pi WTL department. Your call is important to us. Remember, today is the tomorrow Pi worried about yesterday. Until next time we meet.'; the call dropped.

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