With no alarm to wake me up, I woke up whilst yawning and stretching. Ah, what a beatifying noon.
I got up and went to wash my face. On the way, a blonde woman with enormous breasts greeted me. She is Claudia, my older sister.
“Oh my,” she said, “about time you woke up.”
Right, it’s not entirely normal to wake up at the noon. I almost forgot that. But who cares, it’s my time off university!
“Oh,” I replied and went on to ask her a question, “Claudia, what are you doing here today?” As I was saying that, I washed my face and started dressing up.
“Just dropped by to see my family…” she said and paused for a moment, “sans the sandwich sister, apparently.”
Oh, right… I completely forgot she was going to be here today. Still, I have the right to wake up at the noon. Come on!
“Then you should have visited during the noon!”
“Whatever. Arguing with you is like talking to the wall sometimes… or rather, just talking to you is talking to the wall. That aside, I see you’re wearing flashy dress, and tying your hair into a ponytail. Going to your boyfriend? So early?”
You sure reached that conclusion quickly.
…EXCEPT I DON’T HAVE A BOYFRIEND!
“FOR THE UPTEEMTH TIME, VICTOR IS JUST A FRIEND!”
I yelled without noticing. It was well deserved, however!
“That’s what I said to mom about Jesse thirteen years ago.”
Lies! This is the first time I have heard about that! Mom always told me that you and your husband were lovey-dovey from the first time you met in that bar!
…Or something like that, I think. Probably.
“Well,” she said, “you’re still going to visit him, right?”
“Yeah,” I replied. “Boyfriend or not, and he isn’t my boyfriend, he’s still my friend. And his home is still a hell. Be it his mother’s place, or his father’s place, they don’t seem to actually care about him. Rather, they just want to use him for their own ‘reasons’, just to get back at each other.”
“Oh, I can feel the love in the air!”
I should have seen that coming.
“What?!”
A shout came from the living room. It was mom’s voice. I quickly washed my face and went to greet her.
“Good morning,” I said and flubbed, “I mean, good noon, mom, good noon.”
“Good noon,” she replied. “I heard you’re going to visit your boyfriend.”
I promptly corrected her. I also shouted for no reason… or so it would seem to some ill-advised observer lacking sufficient context. Of course, the reality is that I had plenty of reasons to shout there, which I won’t list here.
Why won’t I list them? That’s because… that’s because they’re innumerable, that’s it! I’ve got my reasons, okay?!
“Oh,” Mom said after I was done correcting her, “Crystal is also going to visit her friend, so you better accompany her.”
“I see. I shall do so,” I replied. “Speaking of her, where is she at the moment?”
Then I witnessed the transcendent cuteness. A cute little elementary-schooler with brown hair and twintails had come out of her room—which I personally consider to be under-decorated for a princess like her—in cute clothes, albeit insufficiently so. I witnessed that sublime beauty in awe and admiration.
There might have been some other things, perhaps a more accurate description of my actual reaction, which have been censored for safety reasons. Apparently, I overreact to my sister’s cuteness, but that’s just nonsense! Regardless, the little kid was my little sister, Crystal. Or at least, that’s the so-called “official story”. In reality, she’s a goddess. That’s how I refer to her deep in my heart, far more properly than I do in the range of other people’s hearing.
“Crystal,” I called the goddess by her fake mortal name, “when are you going? Will you play with me until then?”
I was prepared for rejection. The goddess doesn’t have to grace us mortals with her presence, much less give us so much attention and play with us. I didn’t even get on my knees to bow down and beg. Nonetheless, I still selfishly asked more than I deserved, did so in an inappropriate manner, and hoped such transgressions would be forgiven.
“Okay.”
Such a succinct reply, as expected of a goddess. She didn’t dwell on it, she didn’t spend too long on saying something when a mere single word sufficed. Instead, she has given her decree and said it was okay.
“How about we play hide-and-seek, then?” I asked.
“Who’ll be the first to hide?”
“I guess I will hide first.”
We went on to play hide-and-seek. At first, I hid in my room, and got promptly caught… and scolded for not taking things seriously. I tried telling her I actually am taking it seriously, but to no avail.
“Now I’ll be hiding,” she said and pouted, “so take this seriously this time!” Her angry expression is just so cute!
I got scolded a second time, because she still didn’t trust me. How could this happen? I have to remedy this, I have to fix this situation. I… I must regain her trust. As I thought so to myself, she looked at me with scornful eyes.
I have a bad feeling about this, but oh, well, I only need to catch her immediately and show her how serious I am!
We started the second round, this time with me trying to catch her. For starters, I looked for her in my room, just to make I didn’t look around the entire house looking for her when I could’ve caught her instantly. However, my win wasn’t so easy, as she indeed wasn’t in the room. As expected, she’s very good at this.
Next, I looked around the bathroom. Claudia was doing her business, which has made the situation awkward. I just opened the door, that was my pitfall. I should have known better, so this was embarrassing.
I feared I’d get yelled at, but somehow got out of the situation with merely one scornful stare, simply a single disgusted look that made me regret my choices in life. I never thought I would be debating myself over what’s worse: getting yelled at, or getting that stare.
After a little thinking, I reached the conclusion that getting yelled at might have actually been more preferable.
I looked around a couple more places, particularly the living room and mom’s room, and being the through search that it was, it’s already been ten minutes by now. And, well, after looking for Crystal for so long, I started suspecting I may be as incompetent as one can get in hide-and-seek. Or maybe it’s just that she’s way too good at it!
Exactly, that’s it. She’s just unnaturally good at it. As expected of her, she’s really giving me a hard time finding her. Now then, let’s look for her some more!
I proceeded to look around the kitchen. This time, both Claudia and mom got angry at me. Well, that aside, I went on to look around Crystal’s room. Maybe she hid herself there. And… she wasn’t there, either.
After that, I looked around a couple more places. Specifically, I looked around the living room and then looked around my own room again, to make sure I didn’t miss anything. By then, it’s already been twenty minutes, and I genuinely got worried something went horribly wrong and maybe, just maybe, I was just saying I’m taking things seriously while in actuality, I didn’t.
Ten minutes later, she came out of her hiding place herself, and it apparently was my own room. According to her, I missed the obvious place known as “behind the bed”. According to me, however, such a place is not obvious at all!
Regardless, we went on to play together some more. Of course, after I got scolded yet again. And learning my motive to bother them, Claudia and mom got even angrier at me and took the opportunity to join in on Crystal’s lecture to tell me all they needed to tell me. Though that took off some of my time playing with Crystal, it was my own fault, at the end of the day, so it didn’t matter.
...Except it did, because it wasn’t my fault! I think. Probably.
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***
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My time spent with the goddess passed by so quickly. It wasn’t but a moment, or so my senses tell me. In reality, we had an hour to spend before I went out with her to her friend’s place. Beforehand, I asked mom when to go pick her up, and she told me to do so five to six hours after we got there.
In the meantime, I went to visit Victor. I’m kinda later than usual today, so I hope he could still hold on.
Thankfully, he’s at his mother’s place today, so maybe it won’t be that bad. He could probably hold on better over there… right?
Well, that’s one way to justify being late, isn’t it? “According to my incorrect assumptions, you should have been able to bear it longer, so I’m not the one at fault here.” Yeah, right. What a convenient excuse. I can’t believe myself.
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***
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A while later, I arrived at my destination. A little before I actually got there and knocked on the door, I could hear some screams. The message was loud and clear, quite literally, so I ran that short distance I had left. When I finally got there, I accidentally knocked like a madman in the heat of the moment.
It took me a whole minute to realize what I have just done, and another minute to realize why at the end of the day, it was actually necessary for me to do that.
Apparently, they were so loud that they could barely hear me.
We went to his room, as he was poorly dressed for going outside. And by that, I mean he wasn’t wearing his pants. Left to his own devices, he’d be shirtless as well, but it seems his mother can serve as some form of a necessary evil.
Mostly unnecessary, but in that particular instance of not allowing him to go as far as not wearing even a shirt, it’s at least somewhat necessary… maybe.
That aside, I pointed at some clothes that I thought would fit him. Why did I do that? Because he doesn’t care about his appearance, as I have heard from him time and time again.
Many a time, the clothes I’d pick for him wouldn’t matter because his mother would disagree with my choices and pick something else for him. However, that did not happen today.
“So,” I said, “what were the screams all about?”
Usually, he’d start the conversation, but I guess he’s kind of out of it right now, after having that fight with his mother.
“Eh,” he replied, “it was nothing. She just wanted me to go to my father and squeeze some money out of him, probably for makeup or something.”
“And how did the conversation go from what you just described to the reality I had witnessed?”
“I simply refused her request,” he said as he took off his shirt, “I told her that you’re supposed to come here today and that you’re a bit higher on my priority list than squeezing money out of my father is.” He took the shirt I picked for him and put it on.
“I see. But still, did she really have to take it that badly?”
“When I refused her even dumber request yesterday, she was even more furious, as you may or may not remember.”
“Oh, right. There was that.”
“Hey,” I heard a call from his mother, “Bell, come here for a second. I’ve got something to talk to you about… sweetheart.”
I had a bad feeling about it.
...It’s going to be that talk, isn’t it? It’s definitely going to be that.
“Just go to her,” he said as he put on the pants I picked for him, “the quicker it’s over, the better.”
He’s certainly right about that.
I can barely put up with her for a few minutes, and yet he does just that, and for the entire day. He truly deserves respect just for that, if not for anything else.
Well, I guess he does get back at her from time to time… and it sometimes blows up like today and yesterday, but it’s still impressive. I think.
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***
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As I got to his mother’s room, I got greeted by what I can only describe as “an annoyingly annoyed expression”. It was, indeed, the same talk as usual.
She was angry, for all intents and purposes. It wasn’t fun to deal with her, to say the least. And her occasional screams only made things worse.
All things considered, she really didn’t need to shout at me like that.
She accused me of trying to pretend to be Victor's girlfriend. She thinks I’m the same as her, trying to leech off her ex-husband.
She would say I’m trying to bewitch him, to seduce him. It’s obvious to her, it would seem. After all, why else would I have to go outside whenever I visit him?
Unfortunately, I cannot quite tell her upfront that she’s making it hell for him. I did, however, tell her many times in the past that we’re simply hanging out with Chase. I tried going for that this time as well, but she cut me short before I even said anything.
However, it wasn’t just then that she didn’t let me talk. In general, she wouldn’t let me talk very much. Talking to her was akin to talking to a wall, one might say.
I was dumbfounded. I seriously couldn’t say a single word—nay, I couldn’t utter even a single syllable. That’s because she would instantaneously assume that I was lying to her and that I put absolutely no effort in doing so, that I was taking her for a fool.
“Are you done with your talk yet?”
Such were the words of my savior for that time, Victor. Indeed, not different in any way than usual. She talks, I don’t; and finally, Victor pulls me out of there.
She would reply positively, saying “yes” or the like.
Afterward, she would speak a single sentence. It would usually be an expression of her resolve to shake me off him, or something along those lines.
And as usual, I would pay no heed and go ahead. As I would do so, she would say one final sentence to me. Or at least, that’s the last sentence I would hear.
Since I wouldn’t hear it usually, I can only guess. Nevertheless, I am doubtful that it is anything other than some curses directed at me. She is that petty of a woman, after all. At least, as I see it.
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***
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“Finally out of that hell,” he said. “Thanks, Bell. I appreciate it.”
“Thank you too for helping me out there,” I replied. “I also appreciate it.”
Indeed, I appreciate his help. Indeed, I feel complimented by his appreciation. I do not understand, however, why he felt the need to accompany expressing his appreciation with an ape-esque dance-like movement.
Well, I guess it would be truly weird if he didn’t do anything weird. He is a big weirdo, after all. I guess maybe not “big”, due to his physique, but whatever.
Regardless, after that, we went to a bench to relax and breathe some fresh air. I saw him gazing at the sky and smiled, knowing I freed him from that hell, even if only for a little bit.
After a few minutes, I wanted to tell him we need to go to Chase. However, upon seeing him deep in his thoughts, I decided to leave him alone for a little longer.
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***
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Ten to twenty minutes have passed, and I thought it was about time I brought Victor back to reality. I snapped my fingers.
“Hello,” I said, “anyone there? Earth to Victor?”
“Ah,” he let out a gasp and said, “sorry, I was lost in thought. What is it?”
“I just thought it was about time we gave Chase a visit.”
“Right, it sure is about time.”
I know why he tried to say it in a weird voice. In a way, I guess. He’s a weirdo, so it makes some semblance of sense. Nevertheless, his looks and voice made it more… morbid than funny, to say the least. It was just a little too unfitting.
Still, I felt bad about just saying it out loud, so I tried laughing.
“Well then,” I said as I got up, “let’s go.”
“Yis,” he replied as he got up, “let’s go.”
For some reason, he felt the need to say it all weirdly, and it was morbid for the same reason it was a moment ago. This time, however, it was a slightly too much for me, so I just tried to stay quiet.
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***
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After a while, we arrived at Chase’s place. We knocked for a couple of moment, and we just heard “the door’s open” before opening the door ourselves.
“Hello, Chase.” I said in unison with Victor. Our voices echoed through the ever so silent, dark, nigh-empty apartment of Chase.
As we got in, we saw Chase. As weird as Victor is and as much as he doesn’t care about his appearance, Chase is sometimes outright painful to look at.
He’s slightly fat and pretty short. His hair grows unbounded and untidied, his facial hair is also a complete mess. There are blemishes around his jaw, which were obviously there because of some accidents during his attempts to shave himself. And as for his clothes, they are bland and shabby. All in all, he seems like a hobo at first sight.
He’s shy and awkward, sometimes even visibly uncomfortable.
Right now, he seemed to be playing that “Diablo War III” of his… or whatever else he called it. And that is the very reason it was so silent right now.
Thanks to the silence, it wasn’t but a second until awkwardness seeped into the atmosphere and it became extremely tough to break the silence.
It didn’t take long before Victor settled in and used Chase’s spare computer to pass the time by watching that video of that guy playing “the best and worst prison simulation game ever”. His words, not mine.
For some reason, he seemed to be laughing at what seems to be some crazy blond guy massacarring people in-game. It’s very strange, to be sure.
It actually kind of fits for him to like that, in a way, because he’s just that weird.
I tried to initiate some sort of conversation a couple of times, but to no avail. I was just too late.
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***
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Surrounded by darkness, I was with my two friends. Silence enveloped the room and consumed the atmosphere. Nothing was left but awkwardness, with each of us minding their own business.
Behind me on the right side was Victor. If I had to describe him with just one word, it would have to be “weirdo”.
Though Victor and I can get along fairly well when I visit him to get him out of his place or shortly afterwards, we still never seem to get along very well at almost any other situation. Or at least, not for more than a few minutes.
In front of me in the left side was Chase. He still seemed to be playing that game he played when we got here.
With both Victor and Chase staying silent and minding their own business, I got into some of my own stuff, as well.
WHY DID WE EVEN COME HERE?!
Well, I guess we do go here almost every day. Especially on our breaks, when we aren’t exactly too busy with homework for most of the time. Though I would also frequently try to invite them to my place for once, Chase is a little too shy, so we end up coming here.
That aside, it’s already been thirty minutes since we got here. Both of them used headphones, so not even what they watched or played echoed through the room, leaving it in the same silent state it’s been for far too long. As that went on, I sat here in the middle, thinking what to do, thinking about how to break this silence.
I thought about asking Chase to pause for a moment, but that doesn’t seem right. I also didn’t just think about saying something to Victor, but actually did try to say something, but to no avail.
Guess I’ll try something with Chase, then. Thinking as such, I went to him, to see what he was doing. He seemed very concentrated, so I didn’t want to interrupt him… but it seems he noticed me. I could see that by his blushing face. I got a little surprised by that, actually.
“Ah,” I said, “don’t mind me. I’m just watching.”
He simply nodded and uttered “mhm” or something of the sort. I couldn’t hear what he said too well, so I’m not entirely sure.
Then, I noticed Victor turning and curling his lips into a smug smile, letting out a somewhat mocking laugh.
He paused the video, took off his headphones and walked a couple of steps in my direction—or rather, in Chase’s direction.
“Wow,” Victor said in derisive tone, “you’re seriously losing focus and losing because you’re embarrassed…” he paused for a second, “and Bell is the one to cause you to—?” I didn’t let him continue that sentence and insult me.
“That’s not a way to speak about a lady,” I said as I choked him. Personally, I’d say “choked” is a little too aggressive compared to what I actually did. I simply gently pressed my arms around the general area near his neck.
“Heh,” he pretended he was fine, “a lady wouldn’t be as flat as a cutting board, I suspect, which—” I cut him short by pressing harder, one could say, but I’d say I cut him long. I let him go on for far too long before taking an action.
“Take. That. BACK!” I pressed even harder.
“GUH—I’M SORRY, LADY!”
“I don’t feel the sincerity in your words, young man!”
“I SINCERELY APOLOGIZE, MA’AM! I TAKE BACK WHAT I SAID!”
“That’s better,” I said and released him. “Learn from this mistake this time.” I said that, but I doubt he will. And his smirk, his confident smile, it convinces me that I’m correct about that.
“Ugh…” Chase said and let out a sigh, “I lost this game.” Though, perhaps rather than “said”, it was “whispered”.
Regardless, it seems he lost that game.
I suspect it might very well have been largely due to Victor's antics. And perhaps my punishment that I served him but… it was necessary!
“Ah,” Chase said, “sorry, I was immersed in the game. Are you thirsty or hungry or something?” This time, he was at least somewhat audible, though still barely.
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***
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Four hours or so passed. Chase was mostly engrossed in his games, Victor mostly did weird stuff, and I mostly tried to teach him a lesson each time that happened.
However, by now, I should already go to pick up my sister. It was fun while it lasted, but it seems our time hanging out together today may or may not end in a little while.
Let me just make sure I’m not leaving too early…
“Aw, it’s time for me.” I said after verifying that it’s time for me to pick up my cute little sister.
“It’s that time already?” Victor asked as he stopped his weird monkey dance.
Did he really have to that, though? Eh, whatever. Doesn’t matter.
“You’re going already?” Chase asked. Though he heard me properly, I could only guess what he said, since he spoke in such a low tone.
I sat near him, so I could see that he quickly wrote “pp”, which I think was supposed to be an abbreviation of “please pause” or something like that. His lexicon is foreign to me at times.
“Yes, it’s time for me to pick up my sister. I gotta go already.” I said as I got up and went to the door.
“P-Please stop…” I heard Chase say that as I opened the door. I turned around and heard him continue beseeching Victor, “you’re being mean…” Okay, I suppose beseech is over-the-top. Regardless, when he bullies Chase, there’s only one solution.
“STOP RIGHT THERE, CRIMINAL SCUM!” I shouted as I choked the criminal in question.
I caught him red-handed with his fingers about to press “o” with the rest of the message already written was “poo po”. Obviously, I deduce, he was trying to write “poo poo”.
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A childish behavior, indeed. Befitting a manchild like Victor, utterly so. Oh, if only he had mentally grown up since elementary school.
“Damn, you’re flatter than a chalkboard.”
And then my lid went off.
“CHALKBOARD, EH? CHALKBOARD, YOU SAY?! HOW ABOUT A CHOKE-BOARD?!” I shouted hard enough to make my voice crisp.
Indeed, it was just as I suspected. He truly hasn’t learned from last time he has made the very same mistake. And that last time was so recent, too! I don’t know what to do anymore…
“Your joke is so bad it wil——UGH! OKAY, OKAY, I’M SORRY, YOUR BREASTS ARE ENORMOUS, SOFT, AND AMAZING! M’LADY! KUH!”
Once he started coughing, I felt bad and let go. But it was still justified. That was no way to talk to a lady, so he deserved what he got. Hmph!
I proceeded to go to the door.
“Well, now I’m getting late to pick up my sister, so I’m really going now.” I said as I opened the door.
Then I heard, “let me and Chase accompany you,” and after turning around, found out it was Victor who said that. How strange.
What’s strange about a boy suggesting to accompany a girl like a gentleman? It isn’t really strange. But when a strange person says or does something normal, that becomes strange.
Regardless, I have no particular reason to refuse his offer. Though, I don’t know if Chase signed up for this act.
“Okay. Let’s go, then.”
Then we went outside, and set our sights on my sister’s friend’s place.
I had suggested to carefully plan how to storm the place, which safety protocols to use to ensure the hostage’s safety, what weapons to use, etc… but then came back to reality, where none of that happened.
Well, if I was my mom, worrisome as her, I might have had seriously done that. I mean, she seriously utters things like “but what if an old man rapes her and gets her pregnant and forces her to marry him and bear ten children for him” as a legitimate worry.
Okay, perhaps she’s exaggerating, but that’s still too much worry.
I mean, sure, “cute” might be an insult to her transcendent beauty, but it’s not like some shady person will suddenly attack her in an alley or something. I have to say, she sometimes sounds like she lives in some strange far-away land of fantasy.
Then again, there was a disturbing, strange happenstance with that shop owner, once upon a time.
When I was still very young, Claudia worked at some shop down the street. The shop owner seemed to have accepted her for her looks. She was then younger than I am now, but her growth was much more rapid. Lusting after her, the shop owner harassed her multiple times on a daily basis.
She had enough of it one day, when he had the gall to ask to have sex with her and get her pregnant. He said he’ll give heaps of money, he said that he won’t charge money for buying stuff from him.
“All for just one child”, he said.
“I only asked for one child”, he said.
How wretched. Disgusting.
But could it be that my mom has gotten overprotective ever since then? Or perhaps, was she overprotective ever since she became a mother? I honestly don’t know, and perhaps I won’t know until I will be a mother myself.
“Until I will become a mother myself”, huh? How is that any different from just, I don’t know, “never”? The superabundance of sugar coating it, maybe?
It’s not that I’m infertile or anything like that… I’m simply unattractive. Sure, mom says I’m beautiful and Victor's mother thinks I’m dating Victor, but… I’m small, my chest is flat, and my hair is plain brown. My sister, on the other hand, has big breasts, and her blond hair is beautiful like my mother’s.
In the end, no matter how much I’ll raise my ankles to make it seem I’m one millimeter taller than I really am, no matter how much I’ll inflate my chest size with my hands, or whatever else… reality won’t conform to my insecurity.
I’m already in my twenties, and I’m still single. I even started tying my hair into a ponytail two or three years ago to imitate mom who got a good husband despite her flat chest… but still nothing.
Oh, well. At least I’m not in bad company. I mean, there’s no way Chase will get a girlfriend even if he tried. His belly alone will make most girls run away. Even if a girl doesn’t run from that, it only gets worse.
I doubt that he knows, but I saw some red marks on his body. Because of his personality, perhaps the first thought is that he has some weird, dangerous case of self-abuse of some sort.
However, seeing the shapes of the red marks, and the shaving razors he uses, I understood immediately that he simply doesn’t know how to shave.
Even if a girl withstands the chubby look on him, she won’t survive the poor shaving and the red marks. Once they get to bed, the relationship will end.
Still, that’s something he can fix. He can fix his diet, even just stop eating one of the dozens of unhealthy foods he eats and orders from outside. He can also just train for a while. That’s an easy fix for his belly.
The red marks may be somewhat of a lost cause, but he can learn how to shave himself properly and that problem won’t multiply.
On the contrary, changing my diet won’t suddenly cause my breasts to burst into growth so late after puberty, nor will it change my height for no reason. And training will probably just make my breast size problems even worse.
Shaving? That won’t fix any of my problems. My hair color perhaps my be fixed with bleaching, but I don’t think I’m willing to do that.
Even worse is that there’s also Victor. While Chase has problems that can be fixed and I have problems that can’t, Victor has no such worries. Had he wanted to, he would have had gotten a girl long ago. With his cute looks, he could bewitch any girl. Maybe even me.
Life sure is harsh. But overall, I’m fine. After all, I have my wonderful, amazing, and supporting family.
Mom’s constant compliments about my alleged “beauty” may end up making me not care about how I look if I only listen to her, but it’ll be fine. I’ll just need to remind myself of reality. A mirror will suffice for just that.
That’s fine, honestly. I’ll have some awareness of reality, while still letting myself indulge in some fantasy every so often. Doesn’t sound too bad. Especially if I work on making that fantasy as close to reality as I can. Right.
That aside, back to picking up my sister.
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***
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We were walking, and Victor started a conversation.
“So who’s done with their homework?”
“Winter break has just begun recently, so everyone’s procrastinating. Right, Chase? By the way, I’m also procrastinating, but I still did a tenth of it already.”
“Eh,” he uttered with surprise. He probably intended to stay quiet all the way through, but now I explicitly invited him to the discussion.
Furthermore, he’s probably embarrassed to say he still has all of the homework left to do, while even I, the group’s lazy girl, have done a tenth of the homework already! Or at least something close to that. I think.
Probably.
Maybe.
Perhaps.
“I have around a third of it left, I think,” was Chase’s shocking reply. Or, well, it wasn’t really shocking. I was expecting him to be diligent. But I am a little shocked at my laziness, I suppose. But that wasn’t enough shaming, so Chase continued, “I’ve progressed a little more today, so maybe closer to a quarter?”
DAMN YOU, Chase!
“Interesting, interesting. I finished my homework on the first week,” said Victor with a smug smile.
DAMN YOU TOO, Victor!
“Hahaha,” I tried to laugh it off, “you two sure are intelligent and genius.”
“Another win for me,” Victor energetically shouted. It might have gone as far as my sister’s friend’s place. And then he went full-on weird, “oooooh, my nipless are svellin’, ooooooh.”
“Please stop acting so weird in public, Victor. You’re shaming us,” I reprimanded him… though I suspect it entered one ear and went right out of the other.
“West side!”
He did gang signs. My suspicions were correct. This is hopeless.
“We’re close to a household of normal people, so act normal for once,” I told him and made sure he got it this time, “and a normal act does not include talking about how your nipples are swelling, or making gang signs, or generally any sort of weird action.”
He sighed, but accepted my request for once—or, well, not entirely. He danced like a monkey. I don’t have it in me anymore to tell him how to behave.
“Just stay here with Chase, okay?”
He didn’t answer with his words, but with his actions. He didn’t listen to me, so I stared at him for a few seconds to deliver my message.
Perhaps not so surprisingly, he didn’t get my message. For that reason, though only lightly, I slapped him. This time, it appears he got my message. Seeing him rubbing his cheek, however, made me feel a little guilty. Maybe I didn’t have to go that far… or did I?
Regardless, I went ahead and arrived at the right place.
I knocked three times, calmly. Crystal’s friend’s mom greeted me.
“Oh, Bell! Hello there. You came to pick up Crystal?”
“Yup, that’s exactly what I came here for.”
“I see. I’ll go call her.”
Moments later, I saw Crystal at the door, surprised to see I’m here to pick her up already. Somewhat sad that she can’t some more time with her friend, she put on a bittersweet, almost pouty expression on her face, as she went towards me and waved at her friend.
“Oooooh, Crystal!” Victor called out to her. It only took so long before we got to Victor and Chase. Good thing Victor's act is at least somewhat sensible around her.
Though, maybe she actually wouldn’t mind his weird behavior. Would she? Or maybe she would, considering she’s hiding behind me and acting all shy and so cute. Well, the part about her being cute is redundant, because she’s cute just by virtue of existing. That’s just how cute she is.
“Oh,” I said as I came back to reality, “Chase, you haven’t personally met Crystal yet, have you?” I moved so she won’t hide behind me.
“Ah,” he said, “no, I haven’t.”
I faked a cough and put my hands forward at Crystal’s direction.
“Behold,” I said, “this peerless cuteness, this sublime beauty, this consummate being, is none other than my pre-eminent sister, my little sister, Crystal, flesh and blood. Are you impressed yet?”
“Uhh,” he said, speechless. It can’t be helped. He’s witnessing none other than her. Of course he’d be speechless. “Well,” he continued, “I sure am impressed by your enthusiasm and passion you displayed while you were describing your family member, your sister.”
He wasn’t astonished by her beauty, but by my passionate display. How weird.
“Well, I’m astonished,” Victor said, “I can tell you that.” His smirk made me anxious. I knew he was up to no good. “Vest side~! Oooooh!” He did gang signs, while saying the same thing he’d usually say when doing so. However, this time, he also felt it necessary to put some extra work into the weird voice, it seems. And for whatever reason, he seemed to be proud of the end result.
I let out a sigh as my shoulders drooped.
I knew it.
I should’ve seen this coming. I should have known he wouldn’t actually behave normally, even if it was in front of my sister.
I should have stopped him while I could. And yet, I didn’t. I’m at fault for that.
“Hey,” I said, “behave, please.” By the time I finished that sentence—or rather, by the time he was only halfway through his, she already hid behind me.
Seeing how she reacted, he sulked and sought comfort from Chase.
“Don’t worry,” Chase whispered to him, “it’s fine.”
And then Victor couldn’t stay still, so while I don’t know what he did, I know it wasn’t anything good. All I could gather was that he bothered Chase, which I had to actually interpret from Chase’s moans.
I let out a sigh and approached them, and while doing so, I held Crystal’s hand and made sure she could always hide behind me in case it was necessary. After all, I don’t know what traumatic experience, or bad influence, Victor's weird behavior can cause.
And like that, we continued marching back home. Or, well, walked… each to his or her own destination, with one confirmed as being home. Close enough.
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***
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We’ve been walking and talking for a while.
It’s getting late. The sky is getting dark. Though we could still see where we were walking, it was dark.
We went on, and eventually passed by a construction site. The site was Crystal’s previous school. It was undergoing some renovation.
Of course, there wasn’t anyone working on it over there, not at this hour.
We went on ahead. So far, we’ve walked about half our journey. Along the way, there was this weird, bothering feeling. I began feeling it, slowly but surely.
Something’s not right.
It was almost ominous, in a way.
Sure, it’s dark, but that’s not it. It’s something else. It feels like some impending doom is heading towards us.
Of course, it’s just my imagination. It’s just another normal day. Maybe mom’s paranoid ideas are getting to me? Like that one time she told me to stay away from shady strangers when accompanying Crystal because they’re dangerous?
Surely, nothing is going to happen.
That feels right.
And yet, it also doesn’t.
Something’s off.
No, nothing’s off.
I don’t know what’s getting to me. Is something off, or not? What’s this feeling that I just can’t shake off?
It feels like danger is coming, but at the same time… it’s an opportunity.
A regret, but also a relief.
It’s an end. And yet, it’s also a beginning.
Conflicting, confusing thoughts like that welled up as we walked forward.
There was a sense of duality to them, and yet some unity.
Opposing, polar opposites, or two sides of the same coin?
It was both of them. And also neither of them.
These annoyances, these worries, built upon themselves. And it finally started to become a little too much when we got to that alleyway. It wasn’t but an average, stereotypical dark alleyway. The one that strikes an ominous feeling, as though it wouldn’t be itself without some history of crimes, without some murder that has happened a long time ago, without something terrible occurring anytime soon.
I tried to bottle it up, to keep my weird thoughts to myself.
Was today so taxing that I’m imagining things? Do I need to stop waking up at noon, or I’ll have these kind of delusions time and time again? Is it both? Or is it something entirely different?
I don’t know.
I can’t know.
I don’t want to know.
I just want this to be over as quickly as possible.
Nevertheless, the more I tried to take it in, the worse it got.
I looked around to forcefully return to reality, but…
“Watch your steps.”
As though my state of mind was contagious, even Victor was being cautious. To think he’d stop his antics just when they’re needed… and to think I’d actually come to want him to do his weird things he likes to do… as weird as that is, it only strengthens my bad feeling.
Go back.
Move forward.
Again, these conflicting thoughts. Should I just go back while I still can, or do I move on, step forward… and start taking medication tomorrow?
As I thought so, I instinctively moved forward. It almost felt wrong, but it still felt right just enough for me to go with it.
—THUMP THUMP!
It was frightening. It felt scary. I definitely made the wrong choice.
—THUMP THUMP!
It was thrilling. It felt exciting. I definitely made the correct choice.
—THUMP THUMP!
Something.
Is.
Off.
—THUMP THUMP!
Everything.
Is.
Completely.
Normal.
…Or is it?
It’s hard to tell.
On one hand, my instincts tell me to back down while I can. Something about this is overwhelmingly ominous.
And yet, on the other hand, I’m also curious. I want to know. Why am I afraid of this place? If it isn’t because of the dark, or the less ominous things along the way toward here, what is it? Is it the alleyway? It can’t be. A mere alleyway can’t be this scary, and it doesn’t matter how dark it’ll be.
It’s something else. Something far more sinister than a merely scary alleyway. Is it certain death? No, not even that is so menacing. Even if it was involved in any way, shape or form, there’s something far worse attached to it. It’s oozing of a dire situation, I can almost taste the dark atmosphere and the foreboding bitter death of… us.
—BA BUMP!
I took not just one step forward, but two. The conflicting thoughts almost came in, but I paid them no heed. I moved forward, again, so I won’t freeze in my place, to force myself to move forward. I felt my blood rushing, I felt my heart pulsing. I held tight onto Crystal’s hand, sensing danger. I was convinced there’s something about this. But at the same time, I wanted there to be nothing. I held on to this hope that it was all just in my head, that I would wake up tomorrow and realize today was a dream, or that I would take medication after I discover some mental health problem with me that caused these delusions, or anything, really. So long as I wasn’t walking just to die, I don’t mind what the false cause of these feelings ends up being.
—BA BUMP!
Sweat ran down my face. I need to step back while I still can.
Or do I?
I took a step forward. I was just scraping the surface of this dark alleyway, of this looming danger.
I want to move forward. I want to know it’s just my imagination, to know there’s no basis for my fears right now.
I took a step forward.
I froze in my place in an instant. There was a simple reason for that. I have found the source of what I felt this entire time. It was a shady man, almost invisible in this darkness, wearing a hood to hide his face and a mask to muffle his voice.
“Oh,” the man said, “it was about time you’d be here.”
I turned around and saw Chase also froze in place. Meanwhile, there was Crystal, who instantaneously hid behind me… and there was also Victor, who tried to curl his lips into a confident smirk, as though he struggled—as though he was trying to make a mockery of his own incoming death, as if he was staring at death with no fear in him, saying “so what”.
Freezing in place like I did, it took me a moment to realize Chase was addressed by the shady man, albeit implicitly, as I could clearly see from his gaze.
“Wha—”
Chase was shocked. His voice made it clear, and his appearance made it even clearer. It was patently obvious something was going on between the two.
“Can’t even get a word out? Are you really so shocked?” The man mocked and belittled him. “Come on, you should have expected at least this much.”
“Who are you? WHY ARE YOU HERE?!”
Chase seemed to begin losing it.
He fell to his knees with an incomprehensible amalgamation of emotions making up his expression.
Does Chase actually know this man, or not? He’s shocked, freezing in fear. I also freezed in place, so maybe that doesn’t mean they know each other?
“Oh, please,” the man said, “don’t act so cold.” As unintimidating as the line was by itself, the muffled voice made it intimidating. “So,” he continued, “how has it been since then? Must have been quite the challenge, enduring that all these years. Not to mention, how painful it must have been—their reaction, that is.”
…But then, why does the shady man act as if they’ve known each other for so long? And who are “they”? What was a “challenge”, what is “their reaction” that he’s referring to? “Enduring” what?
It seems reasonable that there was some sort of connection, probably one Chase wouldn’t want to talk about. It makes sense for him to act as though he does not know the man. However, the rest remains a mystery.
“No,” Chase desperately said, “no, I’M NOT RELATED TO THIS!”
It seemed Victor couldn’t stay still, so he spoke up.
“Hey,” he said, “I don’t know who you are, but you better stop bullying Chase.”
The man laughed maniacally.
“What’s so funny?”
“Oh, no,” the man replied, “it’s just… you see… you’re standing up for him, but he is going to chicken away the moment things get real.” The man stopped laughing. “Not only won’t he do the same for you, he would even stoop so low as to abandon you while you are standing up for him. He’s not worth standing up for, not even remotely so.”
“What makes you think I’m standing up for him with only for him to do the same for me? If he could stand up for me, then he could stand up for himself.”
“I see. Well,” the man replied, “that’s about enough for our chatter.”
He took out a knife.
“I was a little bored, so I thought I’d kill some time talking with you,” he said while walking toward Victor, “but it seems to have gotten boring, so I’ll just kill you guys instead. That should keep me busy for a little while.”
As so, he stabbed Victor nonchalantly.
“Oh my,” he said, “this doesn’t seem like it’ll keep me too busy.”
He took the knife out and stabbed Victor again.
“Oh, well, not like that’s the only reason I’m doing this, anyway.”
He proceeded toward Chase, but then…
“You sure have a passionate friend.”
Victor grabbed onto him, with no intention to release his grip anytime soon.
I held tight onto Crystal’s hand. I brought this danger upon her, upon us. I took it upon myself to accompany her. The least I can do is protecting her.
I turned to her.
“Whatever happens, Crystal,” I told her, “don’t let go of my hand and just stay behind me.” I paused for a moment. “This isn’t going to get ugly, it already has gotten ugly.” I held onto her hand even tighter.
She let out a squeak, so I loosened my grip just a little bit.
I strengthened my resolve and turned around again. In the short while I looked away, it seems Victor's face had deformed. It’s probably because the man kicked his face repeatedly.
“Get off me already,” the man said.
He kicked Victor again, but this time he kicked him in the back. He kicked him once, he kicked him twice, he kicked him thrice, but Victor didn’t give up. Victor held onto him as strongly as before. After that, the man bent down and this time, he stabbed him. He did so five times, stabbing him in the same spot every single time. After that, Victor's strength already left him, as was evident from his grip loosening more than enough for the man to sweep him away with his foot.
Victor became a sore sight. He bled a pool of blood around him, his face was a huge mess with the bulges all over it. He was screaming in pain—or at least, it seemed like he was trying to. He was probably out of air, and that’s why he was only capable of trying to shout, and incapable of actually doing so.
As the man got walked and got closer to Chase, and indeed, closer to me as well, I instinctively tightened my grip on Crystal’s hand. Though she let out a squeak, I didn’t pay attention to it this time and thus maintained my grip as it was.
He was getting closer, slowly but surely.
But then—.
“Hmpf,” the man scoffed at the Victor, who grabbed him by the leg, despite struggling to do so. “You sure are tenacious, I’ll give you that.” Saying that, the man kicked him in his Adam’s apple and shook him off.
Indeed, Victor was tenacious. Though his hold was weak, he was still pretty much on death’s door. I didn’t know of this side of him, throughout all these years. It might be that even he himself wasn’t aware of that side of him. It made me reevaluate him.
Nevertheless, strong-willed though he may be, it didn’t take but a moment for his grasp to loosen on its own. The man then marched onward, without skipping a beat. The direction of his movement pointed towards Chase.
“D… d-don’t!” Chase shouted, frightened. “Don’t come any closer!” Though he had no say in the matter, though he could not actually influence the man to do otherwise, he still tried. That’s how desperate he was.
I understood him. Seeing what the man just did to Victor, I’d also be just as frightened. I’d also fight for my life if it came to it. I’d also be just as desperate, if things came down to that.
In fact, that was the very reason I didn’t display Victor's bravery.
Of course, there’s also the fact that I most likely do not have some sort of brave personality hidden from everyone or from myself.
However, there’s also the matter of my sister, Crystal. I took it upon myself to accompany her, and for once, it seems it was actually necessary. And that’s why I’m prioritizing her over Chase.
I’m sorry, but I can’t help you, Chase. I’ve got my hands full already.
As I was thinking that, the man got finally in range to kill Chase. And kill him, he did. He did just that. He stabbed him a couple times in the face, the arms, and the legs, just to mutilate him. And then, once that was done, he slit his throat.
The next thing he did was to cut through Chase’s tendon, disfigure one eye and pluck out the other, afterwards stab the throat five times more.
For the most part, I’m convinced he did it for some distorted psychopathic perversion of fun, but the last part might have had have been motivated by a will to verify his death.
He moved.
I quickly tried to ready myself.
However, he went in a different direction. He went for Victor.
“Oh,” he said, “you’re still just barely alive. Well, I only know that since you’re still conscious, but it seems like even that’s not going to hold for very long.”
“Ugh…” Victor said after coughing out blood. Though I said “coughing”, it was more like leaking. He didn’t have the strength to cough, after all. Just preventing himself from collapsing on the spot took everything he had.
Alas, it seemed the man had the intention to away that everything.
“I’ll make sure to take my time with you two, as well.” He taunted.
I clenched my fist, preparing myself for when he’ll try to come at me, and also trying to maintain my poise. I do not want to act rash, after all.
I want to whisper to Crystal to run for her life, but I feel like that will backfire. He would surely hear me and target us while he still can.
If only there was a way out…
As I was thinking as such, the man creepily rubbed Victor's thighs. While doing so, he “complimented” them, calling them “tasty”. Whether he said that literally or figuratively, it was sickening either way.
Afterwards, he severed both of his legs. He did so slowly, as he really did mean it when he said he’ll take his time.
Moaning in pleasure, he moved on to his arms. Using only his hands this time, he broke the joints in both arms.
He screamed in pleasure, and Victor's wails of agony would have mixed in, had he still had it in him to squeal.
Torturing him some more for a little while, he finished it off by stabbing his heart and twisting his knife. Laughing joyfully, he danced as was showered by the little fountain of blood he had made.
Without any delay, he dashed at my direction. Or rather, at our direction.
He covered my mouth and started by stabbing my forearm and moving his knife around, looking for my veins. Finally, as he cut my veins, I cried out. It was too much for me. With the mutilated arm being the one I used to hold Crystal’s hand, my grip naturally loosened.
I didn’t know what to do anymore. I bit him as hard as I could and kicked him in the crotch, hoping it will have some effect.
My hopes were shattered as he laughed psychotically and started talking. His mirth was like a screech.
“Oh my,” he said, “I do love myself some feisty girls. It’s just not as fun without any resistance, you know?”
Though just getting killed by this guy would be bad enough for me on its own, it was lackluster for the heavens apparently. That’s the only conclusion I could draw from Crystal’s cries.
I would try to calm her down, but it would only backfire. As I am now, I’d only stress her out.
“Oh, I’m sure lucky today,” he said, “I’ve never had the pleasure to try out a little kid. I wonder if I’ll get out of this fine.” He shrieked like a madman.
“How sickening.” I said. Although I was in a hopeless situation, I couldn’t keep those two words in my head—they slipped into my speech.
However, it only took a moment until he stabbed me. I fell to my knees almost in an instant. I continued falling, so I tried to prevent hitting the ground with my face and get myself back up by using my hands. Nevertheless, I did so clumsily and ended up grazing a little skin off my one hand that still functioned.
It hurt. But still, not enough to make me waver. Alas, more than enough to stop me in my tracks. Mentally, I was still good to go. Physically, I couldn’t. It was frustrating. If this goes on, he’ll kill Crystal, and do unspeakable deeds to her.
I have to do something!
But before I could actually do anything, he stabbed her. Or rather, he cut off her forearm—no, he almost cut it. The knife wasn’t sharp enough to cut it off in one go, so it remained attached. He then attacked it from the other direction, but the knife still wasn’t sharp enough to finish the job, so it was left dangling.
Or was it that the knife was actually sharp enough to do the job, but he wanted to torture her like he did with Chase and Victor?
As she started crying, my suspicions began becoming reality. Slowly but surely, he peeled off her clothes, as well as a sizable chunk of her skin near her nether region. It was painful to witness.
Cursing my own powerlessness, I tried standing up.
I fell down.
Why can’t I do anything about this?!
I tried standing up again.
I fell down.
Once more, I tried… but to no avail. I was immobilized. I still didn’t give up, but did so only to find myself failing as many times as I would try.
Why? Why does he have to do that to her? What did she do to deserve this, any of this? What did any of us do to deserve this?
Is it my fault, for going in here? If I backed down while I still could, would all of this be avoided?
THEN WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE SUFFERING SO LITTLE HERE?!
Oh, right, I have to burn this scenery into my eyes. That’s why I’m not suffering physically, so I can suffer mentally.
And yet, still… why?
Just… why?
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***
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I don’t know what happened.
Have I collapsed?
For how long?
What happened?
Is Crystal still alive?
“Heh,” the man said, unamused, “about time you woke up.”
I couldn’t hear him very well.
“Oh, right, I almost forgot.”
Forgot…? Forgot what?
“Look at this. This is your left ear. I left the other one intact so you could hear, but still couldn’t help myself playing with it just a little bit.”
My ear?
“And see this? This is your sister’s left ear. And this is her right ear. So small, so vulnerable… just like you.”
He broke out into a deranged laughter. It hurt my right ear.
“Well then, time to have some fun with you.”
So, now I’m going to suffer, now I’ll get punished for my folly?
While thinking as such, I looked around. I recognized this place. It’s the same alleyway we were in before I collapsed.
And before I could look around more, I felt a stab. He peeled some skin off my legs. I tried screaming, but then I realized he was choking me while he pared my skin off my legs.
“I’ll treat you exactly the same as your sister.”
He laughed again, and like last time, it ringed loudly in my ear that was still intact.
He just went on and on, while I could only express my anguish with my face, incapable of wailing.
After a while, he just stabbed me through my lungs and then cut off my other ear before finally plucking both of my eyes out. However, he only yanked my eyes after making sure I saw everything he wanted me to see, mainly his “collection”.
And then, finally, I started dying. Slowly, but surely, I was dying.
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***
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I’m such a failure, aren’t I? At least if I was a comical failure, it could have been laughed off. But this isn’t “so bad that it’s good”, this is just “so bad”. So bad that it’s bad. Just an utterly mediocre failure. A disappointment, to say the least.
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***
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With all the blood laying around here and the surrounding clear of anything else, all I could smell was metallic. Eventually, even that sensation weakened. And so did my taste, thankfully. With blood getting even into my mouth, I tasted the iron within the human blood thoroughly.
I also forgot I collapsed on the ground in the middle of nowhere. I couldn’t feel the ground. Or my legs. Or my arms. Or almost anything else, for that matter. It all faded into nothingness. I forgot in which order it did, but I can definitely remember that it did.
I couldn’t see or hear Crystal’s death, but it still doesn’t matter if I deny it or not. Reality doesn’t care about that kind of stuff. It isn’t sentient, so it can’t. I even got some concrete evidence for it, so I couldn’t deny it even if I wanted to, for whatever reason.
I guess… I died? Well, that’s weird. Didn’t think I’d remember the experience so well, yet still so fuzzily. Or that I’d remember it… after dying. I mean, after death, I’d be dead. Maybe it’s more complicated than that. Who knows. All I know is that today was by far my most bizarre one.