Our relationship drastically changed when we were in our teens. By then, we were enrolled in a Cerberus training program, where we learned how to control our powers. Fenris trained his body and soul while I trained my mind.

They hopped me from professional to professional to fix me, but I was too broken to be off the inhibitors, much to Ben’s dismay. No matter how many doctors tried to treat my trauma, whenever they attempted to take me off the inhibitors that controlled my emotions, it set off a chain reaction as anything triggered me.

I had gotten used to living with them, and my teenage emotions were too unstable for me to control. Six years passed like this, and no doctor or scientist had wanted to work with me by this time. Instead, I fell under Tania, who trained me daily to strengthen my mind.

It was significantly different from when I studied under the sisters. This vampire didn’t hurt or scream at me when I made a mistake. Instead, she would repeat herself no matter how many times she needed until I got what was being taught.

Even though she wasn’t a witch, she tried to teach me as best she could. Her blood control and my magic weren’t too different, requiring the same dedication and concentration. Yet it wasn’t her intention to teach me combat magic.

During our lessons, I usually stared at her velvet black hair swaying behind her, only to notice that bright red eye glaring at me. My lack of concentration didn’t cause her to snap, as she would only use her expressions rather than words to alert me to what I was lacking.

If only Stella knew those alone were scary enough to set me straight whenever I wandered off-topic. The purpose of Tania’s training was for me to learn how to protect myself. She was better than any doctor or professional I had ever been to.

However, I knew she was doing it for the Order rather than me.

In the eyes of Cerberus, they couldn’t leave me alone to fend for myself. The purpose of keeping me from the public’s view was to keep the witches away from any temptation I offered. When I became the gate to the nether realm, the others of my kin strengthened, too.

It was negligible, but the order feared my existence would tempt them to get more if they knew. For that reason alone, they kept me from the world within the Cerberus headquarters, a modern building filled with technologies from all races.

This was just another fancy cage. But I don’t blame them. I was dangerous. A mass murderer, too. By now, I knew better.

The only reason I wasn’t dead was that the shadow demons would take them down with me. Only high-ranking officers of the Cerberus order knew the story of what happened that day. They cast an elven spell for the rest of the world to forget what had happened.

They all forgot that a small girl brought the great city of Silverant to its knees.

Their memory was warped and replaced by Stella’s coven, who did the deed. They did this to keep the peace between the order and the civilians. They were calling for blood when they found out what had happened.

I was only ten, but they didn’t care about that.

No, all they wanted was for my head to roll.

Thanks to that spell, they wanted Stella’s and her coven’s heads on the platter instead. The order had a second reason for doing this, though. Cerberus wanted Stella and her coven to believe everything went according to plan.

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They wanted them to believe I had died that day. Somehow, against all odds, the order closed the portal, leaving their plan unfinished.

With this, they hoped the sisters would slip up and make a mistake so they could apprehend them.

Or at least that was what Ben told me.

But six years later, there was no additional news on them. It was like they disappeared into the shadows. Some officers from the order believed the nether realm had taken them, too, but I knew better.

They were planning to continue where their first plan failed. It would be a matter of time before they attacked once again. Though, I also knew they weren’t ones to rush. This time, they would devise a better plan than the last.

However, all leads about the matter got cold, and the sisters efficiently hid from the world. Over the years, I learned to control the whispers slowly, trying to drive me insane. However, I heard them sometimes when my emotions got the best of me.

The only one I could hear all the time was Shade, who had stayed behind once the gate closed, even though she had shrunk down a few sizes. Everyone around me who knew what she was treating her with respect.

She was as big as a small house cat, though, far from the ferocious form of that day. While I had the Phoenix inhibitors on, it was her permanent size. A witch came to inspect her soon after the fall and officially called Shade a familiar.

It was by a witch who inspected her soon after the fall. The feline was a unique familiar, coming straight from the nether realm, making her highly unpredictable. It was also rare for witches and warlocks to have one at such a young age.

They usually needed years of practice to create one and didn’t speak as Shade did. This enviously filled every witch/warlock who saw me with her, not helping my popularity status. Thanks to that, I was known as an untouchable, and it was all because Fenris was my protector.

It didn’t stop the glances of annoyance at my presence.

A leech, they called me.

Others of my kin named me a traitor for being so close to the Lycans. Even if they knew little to nothing of what I did, I was being trained separately and shared a room with the next alpha wolf. That allowed an atmosphere of resentment and bitterness towards me to form, not that I blamed them.

They were ignorant of who I was and the danger I posed to everything around me. A simple tantrum from me could level the building and the rest of the city. Luckily, most left me alone. The part of Silverant I destroyed was still being rebuilt.

Even though my magical power was suppressed, the inhibitors didn’t lock away all my magic. I could still cast spells like any average witch. Even though my inhibitors quelled most of it away, the nether realm still increased my magical power significantly.

All was well while my emotions had a lid. If not, accidents happen. No one has died yet, but…

My grimoire was kept from me, locked behind a vault within the facility. I could feel its presence, alerting me it probably was in the basement.

Powerful grimoires are indestructible. Not even elven fire can get rid of them.

In its place, they gave me a fake one I had to carry, pretending it was mine. Sadly, caged with me was Fenris, who was forced to share a room with me—all because I was in his charge. I thought the sudden change bothered him, but it didn’t.

He told me he was okay with it and that it was his idea to live with me. No matter what, he continued to be nice to me; even so, placing this much responsibility on a twelve-year-old was too much to bear.

As the years passed, Fenris never complained about anything, even when he had to take care of me when I got random fevers, triggering me to collapse. Every time, I would wake up with him next to me.

Holding the gate in my body placed a strain on it.

The silver wolf held my hand while I was awake or sleeping beside me, including when I had nightmares. Before I knew it, I depended on his warmth to sleep, prompting him to wake up with me in bed every morning.

This made Fenris late for his training. Yet he never complained and always ensured I was okay before going on his day.

I can’t help but feel like a burden.

I was utterly useless. Fire made me wary so much that I couldn’t cook. Lately, though, the silver wolf struggled with something. Yet I never asked, trying to keep to myself these days. For me, it was enough to see him every day without forcing a friendship between us.

Of course, things couldn’t stay like this. No, everything had to change before we hit adulthood.

But who are we kidding? We aren’t children anymore.

No, we left that behind when I destroyed everything. Neither Silverant nor I were the same after that day.