"I feel like I should give you guys a quick tour and some first-hand experiences of what my Cafe can offer. Are you up for it? I promise to answer any more questions you come up with," Zeref said, looking at the two humans before him as if trying to convince them to accept his offer.
"There's...there's more?" Lois hesitantly asked, as pale as ever.
'Given her pale appearance, one might begin to think she may secretly be a vampire,' Zeref thought to himself.
"Of course, my quaint little Cafe is constantly improving and expanding, far more than what it appears on the outside. I assure you," Zeref informed them, noticing that they realized one of his cafe's quirks.
"Is that why it's so...big on the inside?" Clark asked.
"That's right, think of the Cafe as somewhat like the Tardis from Doctor Who," Zeref tried to explain.
"...What?" Lois asked, after a few moments, confused.
"The Tardis? Seriously? How come this place has some of the Media I encounter, but when I reference it, most of the time, it doesn't even exist here?" Zeref complained, annoyed.
"Alright, think of the Cafe as a box; now, when you look at the box, it looks completely normal; however, when you open it up, you find that it is more easily on the inside than the outside. Does that make sense?" Zeref asked after explaining.
"How is that even possible?" Lois asked in disbelief.
"Magic," Zeref deadpanned, or at least appeared with how the cosmic energy seemed to freeze for a moment before resuming its strange flowing patterns as it orbited the metallic slates and the black hole in Zeref's chest.
"..." The two reporters stared at the creature, obviously not liking Zeref's answer.
"Moving on," Zeref spoke, breaking the silence.
He floated over the counter and to the two reporters, "Come, let me give you a tour of the facilities available in my Cafe," he continued.
Not giving them much of an option, he waved his hand. A purplish-black cosmic energy enveloped his hand before suddenly appearing around Lois and Clark and the camera they were using. With a wave of his hand, Lois and Clark were lifted to their feet, and the camera began floating in the air right where it could record the three from a good angle.
Gesturing for them to follow, Zeref began floating away. Having no choice, they two followed Zeref to the Cafeteria where another...Zeref could be seen serving food, drinks, and...medicine.
"As its appearance may suggest, this is the Cafeteria, a new addition to my cafe that is manned by none other than myself. Here, the average customer could buy exotic or rare culinary ingredients, medicine, alcohol, and unique beverages," Reaching out, Zeref caught a strange glass bottle with a blue liquid that seemed to sparkle as if it had glitter in it.
"Starfruit wine, my gift to you both. I hope you enjoy it," Zeref said, handing the bottle over to Clark.
"And before you think of trying to give it back, that bottle alone costs $1,000 or 250, Karma," Zeref mentioned, shocking the two.
"Wha-Why?!" Lois asked, baffled and awed at receiving such an expensive...gift.
"Because this bottle you see before you is the result of the culmination of decades of fermentation of top-quality Starfruit and has within it dozens of spices and herbs to make the wine completely natural with its flavoring and ingredients while also giving those that drink it a wide host of medical benefits," Zeref explained.
"And this...Starfruit? What is it? I don't believe I have ever heard of that particular...fruit?" Clark asked, concerned.
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"It is a unique and exotic fruit found only in Stardew Valley, and it is the second-most valuable crop in the Valley," Zeref explained as if that would help.
"Where is this Stardew Valley? I don't believe I have heard of it either," Clark asked, seemingly growing more concerned with every minute he was in the Cafe with Lois by his side and the unknown Alien creature in front of them.
"Ah, nowhere here. I assure you, in actuality, Stardew Valley is one of the many worlds available in the VR Computers," Zeref explained.
"You are saying that these...goods come from Virtual Worlds...?" Lois asked, confused.
"Perhaps, perhaps not," Zeref cryptically answered before continuing, "Moving on."
Zeref floated away from the Cafeteria and to the other side of the store, between the two reporters, past the counter, where he stopped before a door that led to a completely dark, mysterious room.
The two were once again forced to follow or be left behind as the camera followed Zeref's figure.
"Meet the new Simulator, yet another expansion to my cafe that allows for the creation of precise and realistic simulations for a customer to train, relax, or fight to their heart's content, come, let me show you," Zeref gestured for them to follow, floating into the room as the door slid open before him.
Forced to follow, the two reporters found themselves standing within an entirely white void that seemed to stretch out to infinity. They were met with the same, with the only stark difference being the door, which suddenly disappeared.
Seeing the two shocked, Zeref chuckled, "Don't worry, if you ever want to leave the simulation, all you need to do is think or verbally speak 'Terminate Simulation,'" Zeref explained, only for the door to reaper where it once was.
"Now, let's give you guys a good introduction to the abilities of the Simulator. Unfortunately, the simulator is quite basic at the moment. It can only simulate a certain amount of entities, land, environments, and situations custom to the user," Zeref explained before waving his hand, causing what looked to be a holographic screen to appear floating before it.
"Alright, let's see here, let's choose Raccoon City as the stage, and let's set the scenario to Warzone. Now, onto the factions involved; let's go with Umbrella, the United States Government, and, of course, the Umbrella Zombies, making this a three-way fight between three factions. Objective? Let's set it to survive for five minutes; as for the environment, let's go with the classic midnight and foggy atmosphere," Zeref listed out what he was filling out on the screen. The two reporters and the camera recorded a rapid shift in change as the white void around them changed.
"What the hell?!" Lois screamed as a city was on fire in the middle of the night. A bright full moon hanging above the sky formed around them as the three stood on the streets. Within moments, it quickly turned worse as the sound of distance firing, screams, and the movement of cars and helicopters buzzed through the air.
"As you can see, the Simulator can simulate quite a realistic experience, including artificial yet quite painful injuries that may occur in the simulation. It is not possible for you to die in the simulation. Still, it is completely possible to suffer simulated yet realistic emotional and logical problems, such as PTSD, desensitization, fainting, stroke, or anything else that may affect your mind. Do keep in note, however, that while these can and likely will occur based on the Simulation, the Simulation has many safety features that will force the termination or removal of a participant if it detects any customer that nears the line unless those settings are disabled beforehand, understand?" Zeref sternly asked, warning the two and whoever watched the recording about the proper dangers and risks of the Simulator in the future.
That's when the ground began to shake as explosions rocked the skies, and the flaming and abandoned cars around them on the street where they stood began to beep and honk as their alarms went on, scaring the two reporters and stunning Clark.
"What the hell is going on?!" Lois asked, scared.
"Like I said, a three-faction battle scenario in Raccoon City," Zeref explained before being interrupted before he could say anything more by growls, snarls, and high-pitched screams.
"Ah, looks like the alarms drew the Zombies from their hiding places," Zeref committed nonchalantly as what could only be described as a scene straight out of a movie as a literal horde of people covered in burns, wounds, and so much worse rushed out of allies, sewers, and nearby buildings.
"So, do either of you want to take them on? Or would you rather stay back and let me get a workout?" Zeref casually asked, as if not a horde of the undead was rushing towards them. Getting no answers from either of the two, Zeref shrugged and stepped forward.
"This will be fun!" Zeref flew into the air, high above the horde, before gathering up an insane amount of energy that flowed out from the black hole in his chest.
Within seconds, Zeref was a new star in the sky, one so blindingly bright that both Lois and Clark had to shield their eyes. That's when the energy seemed to wash over all of the zombies, turning them into dust along with everything else on the street.
"Oh? That's interesting," Zeref commented, looking off to the distance before an explosion suddenly slammed into Zeref's form.
Screaming, Lois froze as Clark wasted no time grabbing her and taking her to cover. Multiple explosions slammed into Zeref before disappearing as Zeref absorbed the explosions.
"Wow, that's rude!" Zeref shouted out towards the distance, where a tank could be seen coming around the corner of a building, leveling its main gun at Zeref.