CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
FLIP THEM THE FINGER
Tedious! This is so tedious.
“Whatcha talkin’ bout,” Noname yells in frustration.
“It is, what are you talking about. You must learn to speak properly, and it is exactly what I am talking about. It is about manners, about presenting yourself properly, about acting as fits one of his or her position. It is called etiquette. E-ti-que-tte!” an uptight old man says as he shakes his head in disapproval.
“Screw ya ehmit-que-tte!” Noname says as she flips him the finger once intentionally followed by a second time unintentionally; followed by right eye twitches.
“E-ti-que-tte! Not whatever nonsense you said. For your information, young lady, flipping off is not part of it. Flipping people off is what savages do. Are you a savage? Are you?” the old man says in frustration as he gets into her face.
“Bah,” Noname blurts out as she leans back into the chair and crosses her arms looking elsewhere; everywhere where the old man isn’t.
Surrounded by books on all sides, the room can be classified as nothing less than academic; tall bookshelves extend infinitely with a ladder here and there.
“People would kill to take lessons from the great Abacus, and yet you are adamant about trying to learn the least amount as possible. When I was young, kings and queens begged me to teach their offspring. They begged me!” Abacus says as he shakes his head in disappointment.
“Why do ya hawta so many books 'ere?” Noname asks as she looks around.
“Because this is a library. Li-bra-ry!” Abacus yells, repeating the last part.
“A li-bra-ry, a li-bra-ry?” Noname repeats as Abacus sighs.
“Once is good enough. Princess Valima please try to focus so...” Abacus says as he gets cut off.
“Noname,” Noname yells.
“What?” Abacus asks in confusion.
“Ma name is Noname, three-legs,” Noname says in defiance.
“Noname? Three-legs?” Abacus pauses for a moment as he looks at his walking cane.
“You are not Noname you are Princess Valima of Garniot and my name is Master Abacus and...” Abacus yells in frustration as Noname throws a book from the table forcing him to stop mid-sentence.
They stare at each other for a spell; Abacus sighs as he stands.
“Why can’t you understand? I am trying to help you, I...” Abacus says as he stops.
Noname ponders about her current situation. She doesn’t like it but it is warm in here; much better than being cold in the streets, Noname thinks. Yet even with all the benefits and luxuries, it feels... off?
***
At a dining hall, Noname sits at an extravagantly huge table filled with numerous dishes finely presented as if they were works of art not some meat, vegetables, and bread. Roasted chicken garnished with a vast variety of finely chopped green vegetables sprinkled in aligned lines, steaks glittering with sauces of all different colors, pancakes with bright melted chocolate reflecting an impressive glow, deserts resembling statues, salads with six different colored vegetables, and three colors of sauces and so on. They look impressive and they smell even more so. Noname goes to grab a chicken leg as a stick smacks her on the head.
“This will not do!” a stuck-up elderly lady says as she adjusts her glasses.
Noname grunts in frustration.
Tedious!
This is Madam Bolognese and her job is to teach Noname how to properly dine; so far she is having little luck.
“Before we dine, tell me what this is,” Madam Bolognese says as she points at a fork.
“Fork?” Noname says in frustration.
“Wrong!” Madame Bolognese screams.
“Wat are you talkin’ bout? Is fork!” Noname screams.
“Wrong!” Madame Bolognese yells as she smacks the table with a thin wooden stick.
“First, a lady does not interrupt. Second, it is, what are you talking about and it is a fork, not is fork. Thirdly this is a salad fork. You wouldn’t eat meat with a salad fork, would you?” Madam Bolognese yells as adjusting her glasses.
“Fork is fork,” Noname says as shaking her head.
What is wrong with these people, she wonders? They are all insane.
Noname looks at the salad fork; it looks nice. She quickly steals it.
“My dear, there are utensils for everything. You wouldn’t try to pick a lock with a spoon, would you?” Madame Bolognese explains.
Noname cannot argue with this; she would most definitely not try to pick a lock with a spoon.
Though with her confidence in her skills she thinks she could... possibly?
“This here is a butter spreader, this is dessert spoon, and this is a dessert fork and as their names imply they are for spreading butter and eating desserts. Over here we have a salad fork, place fork, place knife, place spoon and this little guy, my favorite, is the teaspoon,” Madama Bolognese explains as she points at the relating items; she makes eye contact with a servant who approaches and brings them their food.
“This is how you do it. Be subtle! When trying to get a servant’s attention, make eye contact. Subtle! Do not shout like a savage. Now, you try it,” Madame Bolognese explains.
“These are my carrots! These are my carrots!” Noname blurts out as her right eye twitches.
“Save the small talk when you have your food ready,” Madame Bolognese adds.
Noname grunts as she makes eye contact with a servant; her eye twitches as the perplexed servant approaches and brings her food.
“I guess this will have to do,” Madame Bolognese says as she sighs.
She takes a bite of her food as she seasons it.
“Always taste your food before seasoning it,” Madame Bolognese says.
Noname, with great awkwardness, uses her food utensils to cut her food as she eats it.
“Dat is good,” Noname says as chewing on the steak.
“WRONG!” Madame Bolognese yells as she smacks the table with her stick.
“Wat naw?” Noname blurts out.
“What now? WHAT and NOW. Never talk with your mouth full and cut enough food for a mouthful. Pace your eating!” Madame Bolognese says in frustration.
Noname lightly shakes her head as she continues eating. This would be problematic but the food is good; she never tasted something as delicious as this. The mood catches up to her as she digs in.
Delicious!
“WRONG!” Madame Bolognese yells as she smacks her stick on the table, yet again.
“W...What naw?” Noname blurts out.
“Now. You must never make sounds when you are fine-dining,” Madame Bolognese explains.
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The dining lessons endure as the long day continues.
They are annoying but the food is amazing; much better than starving on the streets, Noname thinks.
***
Noname stands in the middle of a large room as a mature woman dresses her in overly complicated clothes; she feels discomfort as the dress is highly impractical and too complex. Layers upon layers of different clothes stack upon each other to make one, ridiculous in her mind, outfit. Surrounded by wardrobe closets on all sides in yet another large room, each filled with a plethora of fancy outfits. Ridiculous, Noname thinks.
She wants to scuff at the woman and tell her she can dress fine by herself, but as soon as she sees all the complex mechanics behind these outfits the thought slips her mind. Every nudge and crack connects to another one and with every one of them connected more of them appear that need joining. Noname sighs as she stops trying to understand it. The dress is tight, and it makes her look like a giant white bird, in her mind. If she found herself in danger, she couldn’t do anything with this dress. Why would someone wear something like this? The answer comes to mind; simply stated, the mind of nobles is like the mind of a child; too much emphasis on how others perceive you and not much on practicality. The simpler the better, she concludes.
This is uncomfortable but the smooth fabric feels good on the skin; much better than the rough cloth she used to wear. It doesn’t itch, Noname thinks. Bounced around from one person to another she bounces around like a coin in trade; always in motion and helpless to do anything about it. Never escaping the redundant paths forced by a higher power. Going on and on in motions.
***
Inside the castle, Master Abacus arrives at a closed door; he knocks twice and enters.
“Master Abacus, what can I do for you?” Belmon asks sitting behind a large wooden table.
Belmon’s office stands at the top level of the castle; scrolls and documents lie on all sides as in the corner a set of plated armor with a cross-shaped sword. The armaments look unattended, but if one would inspect them in detail they would see tiny cracks and chirps on them.
The armaments have indeed not been used for some time, but they wear the marks of an ancient battle.
“Lord Belmon, with all due respect, I cannot teach her anymore. She refuses to learn, and she... she... she...” Master Abacus says as he sighs in frustration.
Belmon stands as he pulls a chair, signaling the elderly teacher to sit; he sits. The exhaustion takes its toll.
“How long have we known each other?” Belmon asks slowly pacing back and forth.
“It must have been 30 years by now,” Abacus says as he remembers.
“To be exact, it is 33 years. I still remember the time you came to the castle. The young and vigorous man and the foremost academic who finished his studies in the great academic city of Otseria,” Belmon says as he walks to his old suit of armor.
“That was another lifetime,” Abacus says as he dismisses the words with a wave of his hand.
“They used to say there wasn’t any challenge you couldn’t overcome. They used to say you would make your way in history as one of the top teachers in the kingdom. They used to say you didn’t know the meaning of giving up,” Belmon says as he stands behind Abacus with his hands on the old teacher’s shoulders.
“Well, you see...” Master Abacus speaks as he gets cut off.
“Master Abacus, my old friend, she is my long-missing Valima. She is a Garniot! Will you forsake my plead and give up on me and her?
Will you forsake the man you once were? Will you acknowledge defeat after so many years of victories in the fields of academics, as a teacher no less? WILL YOU?” Belmon adamantly states as he comes in front of Abacus, staring him in the eyes from a small distance away.
Master Abacus breaks eye contact in shame as he ponders; he gets up.
“You are right,” Master Abacus says as he stands.
“I’m glad we’ve come to an understanding,” Belmon says as they hear a knock on the door outside.
A slightly darker-skinned man enters wearing a black robe; the Kushien, the one who led Noname and her friends to their inevitable capture.
“Master Abacus, I hope we can sit some time and talk about the good old days but, sadly, I have a lot of matters to attend to,” Belmon says as he shakes his hand.
“The good old days,” Master Abacus says as he lightly smiles.
He makes his way out as Belmon bids him farewell with a smile; the door closes as the smile on his face vanishes.
“Tell me, Rash-An, what have you found out,” Belmon asks.
“The great calamity is approaching,” Rash-An says as Belmon's eyes open wide.
Day turns to the night as the Sun goes to sleep the Moon takes its place ever-watching the humble people below. From her quarters Noname looks out her window at the city of Union; it feels unnatural as the night is the time where the city awakes and yet she has changed day to night or in her case night to day. She looks at the mirror as it reflects a beautiful young woman looking nothing like she did before. Her long scarlet hair is smooth, clean, and straight; no longer dirty and entangled. The light white silk dress with intricate patterns is nothing like the old smelly dirty clothes she wore. Her stomach is full, and she is not cold; yet, there lies something missing in her soul. Knock-knock.
Noname sighs as she hoped there would be no more annoyance today.
“Wat!” she loudly says in frustration as the door opens it reveals the old teacher, Master Abacus.
“Wat ya want?” Noname says as she averts her gaze.
“May I sit?” Abacus asks.
Noname grunts. Not a yes yet not a no.
“Do you know all those books you saw in the library each contain a person's story, their life?” Abacus asks as he sits on a chair with a book in his hand.
Noname grunts again.
“I know we haven't started o the right foot. In some way I am to blame. Old age has made me presumptuous and arrogant, it has made me forget why I wanted to become a teacher. It has made me forget why I took this path. I want us to start from the beginning. I want to apologize to you and tell you from now on I shall treat you as I treated my daughter,” Master Abacus says wholeheartedly.
“Ya hawta a daughter?” Noname asks.
“I had,” Abacus shortly replies.
“Wat happened to er?” Noname asks.
“She died,” Abacus says as he clenches his body to keep his emotions in check; Noname turns around feeling a bit bad for the old man.
“That is not what I came here to talk about. I’ve heard you were caught trying to break in a city treasury,” Abacus says.
“Wat bout it?” Noname responds as her right eye twitches.
“I heard you unlocked the door,” Abacus adds.
“Wat bout it?” Noname responds in the same manner, keeping her distance.
“That is...” Abacus begins to say as Noname sighs expecting the same thing as she always experienced; expecting to be judged, expecting to be looked down upon as the thieves are, after all, the worst of the worst.
“...amazing,” Abacus finishes as Noname look at the old man with surprise.
“Do you know how hard it is to break those doors down. One of my colleagues from the academy made them and he swears, with his life, they are perfect. Wait till I tell him a young woman from the slums broke it down with ease,” Master Abacus says as he laughs.
Noname almost lets out a smile but she restrains it at the last moment.
“I’ve brought here one book from the library. It is one of the examples of the knowledge available to you. This is a record of Nanok,” Master Abacus explains.
“I dun wanna study. I am tired,” Noname says as she waves the opportunity away.
“If it is your wish then we shall leave the record of Nanok the thief who stole a kingdom and became a king for another time,” Abacus says as he gets up and proceeds to exit Noname’s quarters.
“Wait!” Noname yells as Master Abacus smiles.
“Did you say stole?” Noname asks as Abacus turns around hiding his smile with a serious expression.
“Yes. He started as a thief but later become a King by his own hand,” Abacus says.
“I can listen to it for a moment,” Noname says as shock comes over the teacher’s face.
I can listen to it for a moment! That was a completely normal way of talking! It is proper! She did listen to him, Abacus thinks as one tear runs through his eye.
“Wat is wrong with you?” Noname asks looking confusedly at the old man.
Wat? One step at a time will have to do, Abacus concludes.
“Very well. I shall tell you the story of Nanok,” Abacus says as a maid enters her quarters.
“Get out we are busy here,” Abacus yells without reservation as the maid with a surprised expression quickly leaves.
Noname burst out in laughter.
“As you would do it,” Abacus says as he flips the finger on the closed door.
“Ya are one crazy three-legs,” Noname says as she laughs.
He reads to her as she takes in the story with great interest.
The people are a bother but there is fun to be had here and there; she never was read a story before. It doesn’t feel so bad, Noname concludes.
Master Abacus leaves as he takes a look at Noname and as he smiles he flips her the finger; she returns the gesture with a flip of her own as she smiles.