All I need for my revenge is a large painting of a cat.

Preferably a cute, non-sinister one that melts even the coldest of hearts.

The rest of the components I already have, not that it needs a lot.

Since I can’t move, I’ll have to rely on Torben to acquire it.

Obviously he will be confused at first, but soon after I’ll be getting praised for my evil genius.

“MuHeHeHeHe!”

“Raegan… Are you ok?”

“Fine brother. Just fine... Come here, I have something to tell you.”

*Torben POV*

I just got briefed on a… Inventive… Plan to get back at the others, though it was worrying that he kept stopping at random intervals to start chuckling.

Maybe he has a head wound?

Either way, I agreed to this, so I’ll at least try. Though it is difficult to know where to begin.

I guess the only place to go would be this forts smuggler.

A man called Lycus is visited by all manner of people in the fort, wanting to acquire something from outside the fort.

Some of which could be contraband, like alcohol, other thing could just be an item you can’t find here, like paintings of cats. Though that’s probably a first for him.

I entered the near deserted part of the fort, towards the back of winding hallways where miscellaneous supplies are stored, yet likely never used.

And so there is little reason for anyone to be here, unless to see the smuggler.

Getting to my destination, a man waits on a barrel, as he does everyday at this hour.

He has long braided black hair and a rough face with a bruise on his cheek from the recent melee. That or he’s been getting into fights.

Lycus is apart of the Dancing Swans, but at midday every day, you can find him here to submit requests.

As I walk up his head turns towards me, a small grin appearing on his face.

“Ahh. Running out of parchment? Or perhaps you want something else?”

“I need a large painting of a cat, preferably cute and non-menacing.”

“Damn, that’s the third one this week, I’m not sure why you’d want it large though since it’ll make it hard to conceal.”

After that we discuss price, the time it’ll take and the relative size I wanted. This thing was expensive, like most painting are, but apparently this was worth most of the money we’ve saved up.

*End of POV*

One week after my plan preparation begun, I could walk again. Five days after that, the cat arrived. It took a great deal of effort to hide, but it’s done and my revenge is near, very near indeed.

“MuHeHeHe.”

This kitty will strike fear into the hearts of those that mocked me on my helplessness, though it was done light-heartedly, so I’ll let them keep their lives.

During my week of immobility I spoke to Lilith, who not only agreed to my plans effectiveness but began to laugh like a maniac.

Some thing like this.

“KaHuHuHeHe!”

*Torben POV*

Oh gods, he’s getting worse.

Maybe he’s ill with some disease that affects the mind, or hunger-induced insanity.

Lets use denial. Yes he’s obviously just clearing his throat… just clearing his throat.

*End of POV*

Ok, now all I have to do is wait until the dead of night to put my plan into action.

Why is Torben repeatedly chanting something to himself, is he going insane?

Lets just pretend it’s not happening. He’s just committing a sentence to memory. Yes that’s it, committing something to memory...

Sometime after darkness fell, I take out my devil thorn I collected a while ago, I carefully cut off a thorn.

I then open my window, before leaving my room, painting in hand.

Thankfully, this hall is deserted at this time at night, I haven’t checked the time but it’ll be a couple of hours past midnight.

The hall was dimly lit by moonlight filtering through the wide arch windows lining the hall.

But this is still dark enough to use my magic.

*Shadow blend*

The surrounding darkness moves to cover me like a cloak, making me virtually un-detectable whilst staying still. When moving I glide across the ground, making no noise since my feet don’t touch the ground, hovering millimetres above it. Whilst moving, it would look like a shadow rippling through further shadow, or slight movement in the dark that you couldn’t quite catch.

Of course, only when closer you’d see the outline of a moving shadow as darkness ripples around me. Even then it’ll be hard to keep track of me with your eyes, like trying to follow a small fly only to lose it for a second or two before finding it at the other end of the room.

If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. Please report it.

This effect is amplified by the slight increase in my speed, not my reactions or attacks but how fast I can cover distance. Though this effect is not an extreme boost.

Also, since my feet aren’t actually touching the ground, I can go over any surface so long as it’s relatively solid. This includes water, but only if I don’t stop moving whilst on it. This is very helpful for travelling over rough or unstable ground, while overs may trip and stumble.

The final bonus to this skill is that it can go along any surface so long as its shadowed. This means I can travel vertically up surfaces, go horizontally along walls, and upside down along ceilings. Though from my perspective, the surface would always be at my feet.

This ability will fail if it ever exits a shadowed area into light so its best to make sure this doesn’t occur when running up a tall building, because I could then fall to my death.

Returning back to the present I carry the painting, half covered in shadow, two doors down to the room containing; Argus, Grigori, and Petri. The main perpetrators of the constant japes. Though this isn’t the whole squadron, I will settle for this. Which is down to two reasons.

The first being that the whole squadron doesn’t sleep in the same room. Me and Torben have our own room since 10 doesn’t divide by three, the others are separated into three different rooms, each with three in two of the rooms and another two in a room, with this one containing Finnian and pack mule. So it’ll be next to impossible t get them asleep in the same room for this to work.

The second reason is an expansion of this. In one of the other rooms has Lt. Petrus, the other houses Finnian. Naturally both are a no go.

So, these three will have to do.

I stand with my ear to the door, listening for sound and hear nothing but light snores.

Satisfied, I slowly open the door, being careful to make no noise. Fortunately for me, this is my specialty.

“MuHeHe.”

I’ve really got to stop doing that before it develops into a bad habit.

Closing the door behind me, I lean the large picture against the door, almost covering it entirely, bar the very top of the door.

I should take a second to admire the picture of possible the cutest, non-threatening cat the ever exist.  

Now that the picture is blocking the door, I won’t be able to exit out that way without moving it out of the way, which is the reason I left open my window.

Moving over to theirs, I open it and look out to its right, seeing my own open window two windows across.

I then take two candles and light them, putting them near the door, making sure the picture is well lit.

This of course disabled my shadow blend ability, but I only had to move away a little to reactivate it.

Now the lighting is done, only one thing remains.

I take out the clipping of the devil thorn, now for the tricky bit.

I quickly glide past, jabbing each of them a couple of times with the devil thorn before I’m out of the window.

Getting through my window, I quickly go out again to the outside of Argus’s room.

Though devil thorn is very dangerous for the mind, a couple of jabs should only induce a little paranoia but more importantly, should make them susceptible to things they’ll normally not believe, like a talking cat picture for instance.

I disable shadow blend in case anyone exit their room and find voices coming from nowhere.

The sounds, of confused movement comes from the other side of the door as they all begin to awake.

Now to begin to take advantage of their slight delirium.

“Wake up pathetic mortals! Tis I, the great Pussycus the fourteenth! Bow before a superior being! MuHeHeHe!!!”

To this I got responses of shock, since no one has mentioned it’s just a painting all is going to plan.

“Claws, it has horrible claws!!!” Grigori mentions, followed by two shocked voices who have suddenly noticed claws that weren’t there a second ago. Not that they actually exist, be it now or ever. Though this gives me an idea.

“MuHeHeHeHe! Mortals, don’t forget my black tentacles, steel fur and that I can breath hellfire!!! Oh, and immortality, don’t forget immortality.”

“Dear gods.” (Argus)

“Somebody Tell my four children I love them!” (Grigori)

“I can’t die a virgin!” (Petri)

I strain my voice to go as low as possible to the point it is painful.

“SILENCE AND BOW!!! IF YOU WISH TO KEEP YOUR LIFE CHANT ‘ALL HAIL THE HOLY PUSSYCUS'!!! THE SECOND YOU STOP, YOU’LL ALL DIE!!!”

With this I quickly return to my room, leaving them to their chanting. Though I could hear still hear it from two rooms away. As could everyone else.

“MuHeHe!”

No one will be letting this go anytime soon.

MuHeHeHeHeHe!