Valley Hill Mental Hospital

Psychiatrist: Dr. William Branton

Patient: Kevin Taylor

Date:04Mar

Prep Notes

This morning Elizabeth brought me the information for a new patient, Kevin Taylor. 48 year old white male, good health, no history of mental illness in his family. Married with three children. He has been employed for the past 22 years as a pilot and makes regular transatlantic flights. No previous records of self harm, schizophrenia, paranoia, or hallucinations.

In reviewing Mr. Taylor’s file he was living a healthy and productive life up until about a month ago. Following a solo flight across the atlantic he started expressing concern for the location of an individual by the name of Jerry. At this time it is assumed that Jerry is a fabrication of Mr. Taylor’s psyche as none of his family, friends, or co-workers know of this individual. While it is not uncommon for people to have friends or acquaintances that may be isolated from others in their life, this issue has escalated to physical altercations started by Mr. Taylor when other people deny knowledge of Jerry. According to Mr. Taylor, Jerry is not an isolated friend but known by many of the people who now deny knowledge of him.

While Mr. Taylor does show some outward signs of aggression towards others at times, the worst aggression that he shows is too himself. He has had to be physically restrained in order to prevent him from harming himself, specifically his face and eyes. He seems to suffer from agoraphobia and refuses to go outside, preferring to be indoors where there are no windows to the outside. Mr. Taylor also suffers from Optophobia and quite often refuses to open his eyes.

During our first session today I will try and get his perspective of things. I want to understand why a pilot with more than 20 years of experience is now afraid of the outdoors. My suspicion is that there may have been a recent traumatic event or trauma that may have caused the sudden and high severity of problems.

Meeting Minutes:

Note that my assistant Elizabeth brought Mr. Taylor into my office. He is restrained in a straitjacket and in a wheelchair. The wheelchair was to accommodate him due to a blindfold being around his eyes. It seems he truly does not wish to open his eyes.

Myself: How are you feeling today?

Mr. Taylor: Frustrated.

Myself: And why is that?

Mr. Taylor: I am locked in a crazy bin, why wouldn’t I be frustrated? I want to be with my family but that’s not possible, is it?

Myself: That only depends on you. If you work with me and the rest of the staff then once you are better you will be free to go home.

Mr. Taylor: You’re bad at lying Doc. I knew the moment I set foot in here I was never going back home. I’m nothing more that a circus freak nowadays. Do you know what it feels like for you wife to distance herself from you? Do you know how much it hurts for your kids to be embarrassed of you? Even if I did convince you and everyone else in this building that I don't have a screw loose then I would be free to go home? I don't have a home anymore.

Myself: One step at a time Mr. Taylor. Our immediate goal is getting you better. Once we accomplish this then we can focus on the next problem. Let's talk about that last time things were good and normal for you.

Mr. Taylor: Sigh. Ok. It was before my last flight. I was at home with my family. We were at the dinner table talking about plans for this summer. We were debating if we should fly to the Caribbean for a week or if we should take an extended trip to Europe. My wife, Anna, loves the beach however the kids would prefer something more exciting. It's like this every trip, trying to find a happy median for everyone to be happy.

Myself: And what about you? What did you want?

Mr. Taylor: I just wanted to be with my family. Be it in a fancy European restaurant or ankle deep in sand on Saint Martin. As long as my family was together I would be happy.

Myself: And then what happened?

Mr. Taylor: Then I went to work the next morning.

Myself: What happened at work?

Mr. Taylor: I met up with Jerry at the office. We were flying together with a shipment overseas. Standard cargo, nothing special. Early morning flight.

Myself: So Jerry was your coworker?

Mr. Taylor: Jerry is my best friend. We have known each other since we were kids and worked together for over ten years. He was even the best man at wedding but now everyone is playing some sick joke acting like they don't know who he is.

At this point Mr. Taylor was starting to become agitated and starting to yell. I had to drive the conversation forward without letting him dwell on Jerry.

Meself: I understand Mr. Taylor and I believe you. Let's not focus on that and continue. What happened at the office?

Mr. Taylor: Just the normal prep. We checked the cargo against the inventory manifest, checked the flight paperwork, filled the plane with enough fuel for the trip. Just another day. The weather was supposed to be clear and it was supposed to be an easy flight.

Myself: Did something go wrong?

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Mr. Taylor: No shit. The weather forecast was clear but two hours into the flight there was a freak storm out of nowhere. I have never seen a storm move that fast and be that violent. We tried to radio in to see where the storm came from but we couldn’t make contact with anyone. All we could do was try and climb through the storm and get above it. At least at the higher altitude the winds wouldn't be so strong. The instruments were going crazy, like everything was alarming and giving bad readings. Are you familiar with a plane’s navigation equipment?

Myself: Regrettably I am not.

At this point Mr. Taylor took a deep breath and paused, taking a minute to speak.

Mr. Taylor: Imagine driving in our car down the road. You just filled up with gas but now your dashboard lights up that you’re low on fuel. Then your temperature gauge maxes out while your speedometer drops to zero. Yet you’re still doing 60mph and the car isn't making any strange noises aside from your dash. Now multiply this by another 20 gauges and factor in that you are above an ocean and cannot exactly pull over and call AAA.

Myself: I see your point. So what did you do?

Mr. Taylor: I told Jerry to remain calm, but it was more for myself than him. I tried to keep a level head but I was certain we were both about to die. The worst thing was I didn't even know why. What kind of malfunction was the plane having? Was it due to the storm? Would anyone ever know what happened to us?

Mr. Taylor was having difficulty continuing so I gave him a minute to compose himself and continue.

Mr. Taylor: The plane was still responding to my controls so I kept her nose up trying to get over the storm. Finally I was sure we were going to break through the clouds and be in the clear. And then…

Myself: Then what?

Mr. Taylor: It stopped.

Myself: What stopped.

Mr. Taylor: Everything. The storm was gone. The gauges were working perfectly like they were at departure. It was quiet. That scared me more than storm.

Myself: So you were above the storm then? You had made it out?

Mr. Taylor: You’re not understanding me. The storm was gone. It vanished. As if it was never there to begin with.

Myself: So what about Jerry? I’m sure he was as confused as you were by all this.

Mr. Taylor: Jerry…. Jerry was gone too.

Myself: Gone? Where?

Mr. Taylor: He was just fuckin gone! As if I know where he went. We were in a metal tube flying over 40,000 feet above an ocean. It's not like he stepped out to grab a coffee. He was just fuckin gone.

Myself: Ok, I understand. I am trying to grasp the situation. What did you do next?

Mr. Taylor: I turned the plane around and went back to our original landing strip. After what had just happened, I just wanted to get on the ground as soon as possible. It took me a while to notice, but it was now dark outside.

Myself: Dark? It was nighttime?

Mr. Taylor: Yea, as in stars above my head and not the sun.

Myself: But you were only in flight for about 2 or 3 hours at this point right?

Mr. Taylor: Exactly! We should have had more than half a day left but now it was night. When I finally got ahold of someone of the radio they were in a panic, similar to myself. They said that I had departed over 20 hours ago and when I failed to check in at my destination they feared something had happened.

Myself: So 20 hours had passed and they thought you may have crashed at sea?

Mr. Taylor: Yea. I don’t get it. They didn't get it either. A typical flight overseas takes about 12 hours. We only load enough fuel for 16 hours because of its weight. But in the end I had somehow only burned 5 hours worth of fuel in my flight. They all assumed I had simply landed somewhere for most the day before heading back.

Myself: That is a reasonable assumption on their part. But obviously you landing somewhere didn't happen, correct?

Mr. Taylor: Obviously, I was stuck in that damn storm. The worst part was that nobody cared about Jerry. I stripped the plain myself but couldn't find him anywhere. When I brought him up to the others and explained he was missing they all simply liked at me like I was crazy. They said they didn’t know Jerry and that I had flown out by myself. I went to his locker to get some kind of proof but it was empty. I went to the parking lot for his car but it was gone. I even when through the previous flight logs he and I had done together but somehow his name had been taken off of everything. It was like he simply stopped existing.

Myself: That must be hard to cope with. A man you have known most of you life simply vanishing like that and leaving no trace. What do you think happened?

Mr. Taylor: I don't know Doc, you tell me. It’s one thing for a person to go missing, but this is different. It is like he never existed. It is not possible to get rid of all evidence that someone was here, but there was nothing. Over the next few days I went through family photos, yearbooks from high school, I even went to his house but there was a family living there I didn't even know. Is this some kind of secret government conspiracy to erase a person or am I just crazy and have had an imaginary friend for the past 45 years of my life that somehow only now have noticed? I don't know Doc, I don't know.

Mr. Taylor’s mood had now dropped to one of depression. He seems to have come to the most likely conclusion that Jerry does not exist, and may have only ever existed in his own mind. I felt this would be a good time to address the problem of him trying to hurt himself.

Myself: Let's change the subject. Why do you not want to open your eyes?

Mr. Taylor suddenly went ridgid. The cloth he had over his eyes was still firmly secured but I could tell that he was tightly clenching his eyes closed.

Mr. Taylor: You wouldn’t understand.

Myself: Maybe not, but if you don't tell me I will certainly never understand. And I cannot help you if you do not help me.

Mr. Taylor: After the flight, Jerry going missing isn't the only problem I have encountered.

Mr Taylor took a deep breath to steady himself.

Mr. Taylor: At first it was only slight so I didn’t notice it much. It was a minor annoyance. But gradually it became worse.

Myself: What became worse?

Mr. Taylor: Something it watching me.

Myself: What is watching you?

Mr. Taylor: I don't know. And I don’t want to know. All I want is for it to go away.

Myself: Nobody is here except for me and you. And what does this have to do with you opening your eyes?

Mr. Taylor: It finds me when my eyes are open. And right now it may just be me and you but if I open my eyes, it would find me and be here in seconds.

Myself: I assure you that there is nothing that will harm you if you open your eyes. Can you demonstrate this for me? Open your eyes so that I can see what it is you are talking about?

Mr. Taylor: Not going to happen. You wouldn't be able to see it anyhow. I don't understand it but it's not .. umm… physical.

Myself: If it is not physical, then what is it?

Mr. Taylor: Like I said, I don't know. All I know is that if I open my eyes it will be here. I don’t know what it wants, I don't know why it is interested in me. I just want it to leave me alone. If keeping my eyes closed for the rest of my life is what I have to do so I can hide from it, then so be it. I’m not opening my eyes for you or anyone else Doc.

Myself: I understand, and there is no way I will ever force you to do something that you yourself do not want to do. I think this is enough for today.

Post Meeting Notes:

My first impression of Mr. Taylor is good. He seems logical, willing to listen and cooperate. These will speed up his treatment and recovery substantially. It seems that Jerry may be a figment of his imagination and he has already started to come to terms with this, however it may take some time. I have looked over his flight records and as Mr. Taylor stated, there is no Jerry listed on any of these documents. The company also reported not having any employees on record by the name of Jerry and even Mrs. Taylor reports that no such person has ever been introduced to her.

As for the storm and the flight that lasted much longer than it should have, Mr. Taylor’s story coincides with the official report from his company. He departed early morning only to return 20 hours later. The amount of fuel spent was only about 5 hours worth indicating that the plane must have landed somewhere for most of the day before returning. The cargo was still intact and there was no indications that anything abnormal happened. The company even had multiple engineers check the plane inside and out multiple times but could find no supporting evidence of the storm that Mr. Taylor reported. Also there were no storms recorded in the flight path at all that day, so as to his account of a storm I am sceptical.

It is likely that he may have had some sort of a mental breakdown on the flight and landed the plane somewhere, only to later return. He could have made up the storm as an excuse, possibly subconsciously and not even understand that himself.

All of these are minor points as he can function in the world with a misunderstand of the events of that day. The main problem is he will not open his eyes and constantly tried to attack his own eyes and face. He was serious when he stated he would not be opening his eyes for anyone and seems to truly feel that someone or something is able to find him and possibly harm him if he was to open his eyes.

Before our next session I will try hypnotherapy to see if we can discover anything more from his flight, such as where he may have landed. Depending on how that goes we may also try and see what he is truly afraid of.