Bob was bored. Philosophers could debate if what Boob was feeling was truly boredom, what boredom was, but at the end of it all Bob was bored. Bob didn’t know this of course. No, Bob only had vague intelligence. Still, that was enough to know he was bored, and a bored Bob was a troublesome Bob. So, the Warm One had sent him on a mission. To root out the numerous pests that dared lurk in the hollow stone chambers of their coop. Bob had taken to the quest with great zeal, quickly diving into the rooms. He had prowled the cold stone halls with gleaming eyes and readied spurts. And at first his harvest had been bountiful, uncovering the insectoid vermin left and right. Lately however, they had avoided his gaze. He prowled down the hallway, clucking slowly to himself. His eyes scanned the area around him. Nothing. His claws clicked and clacked against the hard cobble. Nothing. His waddle trembled as he swept his beak back and forth rhythmically. Noth-movement. Bob’s head whipped around, a cluck screaming its way from him. What appeared was a beetle. Not just any beetle however- no this was a mealworm beetle. Bob could feel a hunger rise in him, a growing call that demanded to be answered. He sprung towards it, his talons slamming into the creature and pinning it. It bucked beneath him even, its abdomen arcing, and a clear mist being sprayed outwards. Said mist engulfed Bob, his waddle shaking as he shrieked his displeasure. Bob could feel the disgusting odor try and worm its way into his nose. With a quick motion his beak pierced the shell of the creature, tearing straight through the chitin. Clear blood arced outward, coating his beak. The beetle twitched and shook as Bob’s beak blurred downwards again and again. Finally, Bob backed off, clucking rapidly as the horrific odor invaded his nostrils. With a silent glance backwards Bob resumed his patrol once again.

Bob prowled the stone rooms on watch out for any movement or notice. He stepped, turned a corner- and found a small dirt tunnel. It diverged from the main stone angled downward. Bob curiously came towards it, inspecting it for any movement. His eyes ran up and down the tunnel seeing nothing- but he could smell something. Something that reminded him of a mealworm. Bob’s strides came quicker and quicker.

The tunnel descended sharply for a time and a time more. Bob moved with a steady pace as he raked his keen gaze all across the tunnel. Down and down he traveled, the tunnel beginning to level out before him. The smell grew even stronger, the promise of food luring him deeper. The tunnel fully flattened out, grey growth covering the walls and floors. The tunnel continued forward before splitting open to reveal a massive cavern. Bob stepped into the cavern- and froze. Hundreds upon hundreds of mealworms writhed in a mixture of crap and soiled grain while giant mealworm beetles tended to them. At the back of the cavern another tunnel opened leading further into the earth. If Bob were a man, he would have quickly run away to report what he had found. But Bob was not a man, and Bob was bored. So, he cocked his head and released a thundering, “Cock-a-doodle-do!”

The response was instantaneous. The giant beetles- three of them in the room- immediately moved as fast as their little legs could carry them. They raced towards Bob, moving over the mountain of trash with unmatched expertise. Bob moved to meet them, his wings fluttering eagerly in anticipation. Up and over the mound they came, sprinting downwards. Bob intercepted the first one, leaping up and flapping his wings. His flight was brief, no more than a second or two, but he moved fast enough to land on the beetle. The beetle immediately twisted and rolled up, Bob responding with a vicious spur, flapping upwards before whipping it downwards. The hard bone spike cracked into the beetle shell with a chink, cracking the armor. Bob raised his head to strike downwards- when a stream of liquid struck him in the side. He squawked as he rolled, feet landing in a tangled heap off the beetle. With an awkward shuffle and flap of his wings he was back on his feet, now facing all three of the beetles. The back two had begun to arch their backs, streamers of pale liquid being ejected violently. Bob clucked and dodged, the streams falling into pools near him. A few droplets landed on his beak forcing him to inhale the violently putrid liquid. Resisting the urge to eject his crop, Bob took to the air once again in a flying leap. His form soared over the beetles crossing the first two. As he neared the third one, he lashed out with his spurs, right-left, left-right. The small, curved bone carved furrow into the hard shell, cracking it severely. Moving quickly Bob ducked to the side with a short hop, avoiding another streamer of liquid. His right foot lashed out impacting and grasping a crack in the shell. With a tug he pulled himself forward and the beetle off-balance, landing atop the creature. His beak shot down, slipping through the small crack. His beak tore through the internal tissue, and he felt something soft and large puncture and deflate. He pulled his beak back, raking his talons along the shell as he took off once again. The other two beetles had turned around, one firing steadily while the other charged at Bob. Bob leaped as fast as he could, meeting the charging beetle. Another streamer of liquid impact, this one Bob ignoring as he flicked and struck at the charging beetle. It lashed out with its mandibles recklessly, black insectoid blades whipping about. Bob met it with equal ferocity, striking with his spurs, raking his talons across the carapace and lightning-quick pecks. Shots of the foul-chemical came in less and less frequent intervals, slowing down. The beetle lunged forward, tired- and wiggled in surprise when its front legs gave out. Bob gave it no chance to recover whipping his spurs into his head before viciously kicking and pecking it to death. Bob stared at the final beetle which attempted to turn away. Bob clucked in annoyance before quicky moving towards it. He swiftly dismantled the creature. As Bob began to move towards the feast before him, a rumbling shook the cavern. Bob stared as a massive beetle breached the mound. Hundreds of larval mealworms wiggled and writhed around the grotesque bulk of their mother. Bob clucked in annoyance as the creature-easily twice his size- began to move towards him. With a final cluck Bob bravely turned around and ran.

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Bob squawked and clucked consistently as the massive beetle perused him. He hit the tunnel and sprinted upwards, the sloped tunnel rapidly falling behind him. There was a groaning of earth before the tunnel started to rumble. Turning his head around Bob squawked again as the massive beetle simply burrowed through the earth with incredibly speed. The very dirt seemed to flow around it allowing it to ‘swim’ closer and closer. Bob clucked rapidly as his legs twirled even faster.

Bob flew through the mouth of the tunnel, turning away from the tunnel. He moved quickly through the stone hallway before stopping and staring backwards. Silence. Then- a rumble. Gently at first it began to grow in intensity, shaking the floor beneath his talons. Louder and louder it roared, peaking with a thunderous breaking- before cutting off. Bob cautiously began to walk towards the tunnel, cocking his head at the mouth. He was only a couple of meters away when the wall exploded outwards, stone pellets flung from the tunnel mouth. Emerging was a massive Queen beetle, armor dented and torn, clear liquid leaking from her body. The creature clacked its mandibles and emitted a piercing vibration that slammed into Bob. He opened his beak- and choked as red liquid flowed from his beak. He staggered, the massive beetle stretching out one leg after another. Bob began to shake- before shrieking and charging forward. His eyes locked onto the carapace- and suddenly every crack was all that he saw. He leapt, flapping his wings furiously. He ducked around the clacking mandibles, gracefully landing upon the creature’s head. With a contemptuous movement he spun, his leg diving deep into the head of the beetle. His spur sunk through soft tissue, his talons flexing and tearing as much as he could. A massive screech emanated from the beetle, Bob squawking in horrific pain as the noise penetrated his enhanced sense. His talons hit something and flexed. The noise immediately died off and the beetle shuddered, twitched, and then settled down. Still. Bob hopped down, trying to ignore the horrendous stench- feeling his crop shudder in disgust- before strutting past the dead corpse further into the tunnel. He had a living buffet he had to finish after all.