Her rosy soft cheek pressed up against my bare chest, using it instead of her pillow. Her mouth hung slightly ajar, her quiet little whispery snores slowly pushed a bit of saliva, please be drool, out from the gap between her lips. Like a spider extending its web, the drool made its way down onto my smooth pale skin, spreading out into a puddle. It was warm like the baths her, Sylv and I used to take as kids, how embarrassing. I combed my fingers through her scrunched-up hair, maneuvering it away from her drool, and parting it on her side. Her face is so beautiful, even with drool pouring out of it. I knew she had a lot on her mind sometimes, worry would cover her face no matter how hard she would try to mask it. Then I’d see her like this, not a single care, just being content, made me feel the same.
But contentment is an infection that breeds vulnerability. A blade any man can wield that will always leave a seeping wound bound to end one’s life. That’s how Ms. Moskav felt, a lesson constantly beaten into me, for my own survival. The first time I stood up against that thought, argued against it, that while it does have downsides, it also had benefits, she took me away. The academy was told it would be an excursion to benefit my rogue prowess. I can still remember where we went, why we went, everything.
It was a few years before; I was about fifteen then. We were lucky to not have any trouble on the roads, other than the occasional bumps from a rock or pothole, allowing us to reach our destination quickly. She had instructed me to leave my gear at the academy as I wouldn’t be needing it. Must be a survival exercise. Quite right I was.
We jumped out of the wooden horse pulled carriage, landing on the muddy road. The night sky was brooding above as a light mist poured in around us. “So, where are we?” I asked.
“An abandoned castle.” Ms. Moskav replied. She strutted ahead of me with her hood raised, hiding all but her dark blue eyes. I scampered behind her, pulling up my hood. My lantern illuminated her from behind, showing off her hourglass figure in the dark of night for all to see.
“Okay,” I responded perplexed, kicking a rusty helmet across the mud. “But why? This dump of a castle hasn’t been used in centuries, what could this have to do with training?”
Her answer to my response was short, sending a shiver down my spine. I expected a long-winded explanation, but all that she gave was, “You will see.”
Is this a battle ground for us? A no holds barred battle? No way, she’d kill me!
We continued to wander through the outskirts of the abandoned kingdom, only when we passed a sign that read, Ordivern kingdom, did I have a clue of where we were. It was hard to imagine this place as a thriving land, one sought after by many, but now left with so few. Buildings which stood tall had been brought down rubble, blending with the stone and grass path we trotted along. The further we walked, the harder it became to process, homes and shelters and animal pens were nothing but ash and fragments of the corpses who ran or hid. They were strung along the paths and buildings, scenting the air with rotten flesh and charcoal.
By the time we finished passing through these lands, we stopped at the base of a muddy swamp. My eyes couldn’t tell the difference between the muck and the water. Luckily Ms. Moskav stopped me before I could have dived in. “We’re here.” She said coldly. She had never been a woman of so little words; each word she uttered like this made my skin crawl. But again, my mind rang hollow. This was just a swamp, muddy and murky water flowing around the ripples from the creatures inside, lily pads big enough to hold a grown man’s weight, just any ordinary swamp.
I turned to Ms. with an eyebrow raised, “Wow,” I exclaimed, “a swamp. This is very… enlightening.” She cocked her head to mine and copied my thousand-mile stare at her, perhaps expecting more from me.
“Look again.” She said, agitation mixing in with her voice. “I will not ask again.”
Turning back to the swamp, still nothing stood out. Should I just take a shot in the dark? No, she’d see through that. Maybe it’s a resilience test and I’m failing. What if I’m supposed to jump in… gross. Nothing appeared with these thoughts running through my head, no logic, rhythm or reason to be here, to understand.
“Oh, come on.” She spat. Her eyes grew wider, her brow narrowed. What am I missing? My hairs stood on end, my heart started thumping against my chest, trying to push past my ribs. “I thought you’d have some affinity for this place.” She said, waving her hand in the air. The air I breathed caught on the cold lump building in my throat, an affinity? “Do you truly not recognise this place? These buildings, these homes, this swamp.” A silence stood over us both for a brief second, my mind giving nothing but hot air. “How must I spell it out for you. Last hint, your mother.”
No, but… this place, these buildings, the swamp. Sitting in the water, bobbing around slowly, was my mother. My eyes were playing tricks on me, she was brought home. I saw it. Hacked to pieces like she was here, dumped for anyone to see with no care. My mother. “Never forget this feeling.” She spoke. It was like, “That knife wedged into your heart.” Wiggling deeper and deeper inside until something pops. “The rage that spills over you from that moment.” No one knows what happened to the killers, I didn’t think- “The sadness that drowns you in its waves.” She was here. The lump in my throat grew larger as my legs collapsed. Falling to my knees, my face now inches away from the water where she laid.
“Taros?”
They slaughtered her.
“Taros?”
I’ll- “Taros?”
My eyes shot open to my dark yet warm surroundings. Lifting my head from my pillow I saw Alistanna’s vibrant hazel eyes staring warmly at me. “Are you okay?” She asked in a hushed voice, moving her hand up to the side of my cheek and rubbing it. The lump still lingered in my throat; my mouth opened but only to give a shaky breath. “You’re riddled with goosebumps and your body feels so cold. What’s wrong?” Still nothing came from me. “Do you need me to push the bumps back in?” She whispered, removing her hand from my cheek and pressing down upon one of the many goosebumps riddling my chest. Her finger’s warmth sunk deep into my chest, wrapping itself around my heart. My cold blood funnelled in and left with a glow, gushing throughout my body. The tide of warmth was overwhelming, only now was the warmth of her body that laid on top of me apparent to me, causing my body to glisten but also causing the cold lump to fade.
“No. You don’t need to push in the bumps.” Even with this dark night, -her silhouette was barely visible due to the ongoing fire- her frown was still apparent to me. “They wouldn’t even be on me if you didn’t keep scuttling away.” Snickering and reaching down, placing my hands under her shoulders, I dragged her back up to her rightful place against my chest. She gave a slight, resistant giggle, placing her hands against the tent floor in a false act to stop me. “You can’t get away that easy.” I laughed, placing my hand on the back of her head and rolling on top of her.
A quick flicker of bright light came from the fire, illuminating inside the tent for a brief second. Her rose red cheeks were compressed by her beautiful wide smile. Her alluring hazel eyes pulled my head down close; the humid air floating around us smelt of sweat and lust. My heart was pounding against mine and her chest, my body was riddled with goosebumps once more, but she wrapped her arms around my neck, pulling me in. Our lips touched, only for a second before she pulled away, but I leaped back in. Her soft, moist lips pressed against mine, everything inside my mind faded, no other thought dared to corrupt my mind, none other than her.
The morning was dark, darker than it had been through the night. The fire neared its end, the timber had all but burnt to cinders, the hole formed above no longer crafted a beam of light; all that was left was my allium path and the swaying lanterns pitched outside our tents.
The chatter outside our tent slowly rose louder and louder, starting at a miniscule whisper before reaching what felt to be a mighty roar of laughter and murmurs. Their words remained muffled, but I could assume what their chatter was catered towards. My eyes flickered open, my drowsy and aching body moved to an upright position at a snail’s pace. Drawing in a deep breath, which felt like trying to drag nails down my throat to pierce my lungs, I turned to Alistanna and shook her. Her hair was more frazzled up then mine and drool still ran down her cheek, so peaceful. After continuous shaking, her eyes opened with a dark tinge in them; her angled brow complemented her newfound frown. “What.” She barked with venom seeping from her mouth.
“The others are awake.” I said with a calm smile across my face, “Time to go.”
Her murderous intent immediately evaporated, draining onto the tent floor along with the blood in her face. Her eyes widened, losing all colour, she nearly began convulsing, “Oh Maria.” She muttered repeatedly.
Raising myself to my feet slower than your average morfurn, I began dressing myself. Pants? There you are. Socks? Alistanna quickly pulled my socks on herself, her hands shaking as she reached for her shoes simultaneously still muttering the same words. “Those are my socks you got-.” Alistanna pulled them off with her jittering hands and haphazardly tossed them to my feet, well tried to. One flew through the entrance behind me, skidding and landing outside the tent, while the other dragged up higher through the air, landing in my mouth mid-sentence. “Taunk ou.” Pulling the sock from my mouth and the other back inside, dammit Maria, it’s got mud all over it now, I slapped them on along with my boots before reaching for my tunic which I kept… “Hey Alistanna, where’s my-.” But as I asked, the outline of it caught my eye, sitting outside the tent from the entrance by Alistanna. My arm quickly shot over to the tent entrance to grab my top.
“No!” Alistanna said in a hushed whisper, leaping onto my arm in nothing but her socks and underwear. “What do you think you’re doing?”
My eyebrow rose at this, isn’t it obvious? “I’m grabbing my tunic.” I answered with a quizzical look.
This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.
She nabbed it from outside and tossed it in to me, it landed by our weapons off to the side of the tent, “There.” She continued on, chucking her religious robes on, and with each button she popped in, the stronger my look became. What the hell was that about? Grabbing my tunic and chucked in on, the back of it was now moist from the mud, sending shivers through my body. It’s just a tunic? Why’d she care if I grabbed it? Maybe she doesn’t want me seeing her naked? So stupid. Wait, is it because- No, surely not.
It took a few minutes, but we were fully ready. Daggers and staff were in place, belt loops and bags were filled, clothes on the correct person. I grabbed the edge of the tent entrance by her and tried to pull it open.
“Wait!” She interjected with her whisper once more. Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me. She flicked a lock of hair to the side, curling it around her ear. Her eyes were bold and moist, the fear flowing through her eyes was apparent. “Yo- you shouldn’t go out that way.” Her voice stuttered, like a lump of air got caught in her throat. She looked down to her feet, her body trembling with each word that came. “If you go out this way, they’ll know you and I slept in the same tent, and…” My head felt hot, but my body felt cold. Staring at the tip of her head, each fibre of hair flowing down softly shook. I closed my eyes and drew a deep breath as she finished. “I just don’t think it’s time for them to find out about us. And if the priests heard about this... You understand?” Her half-hearted smile so clearly rung hollow that a piece inside my heart ached just from seeing it.
Staring at her, trying to keep my composure, I said, “Really?” A tone of malice slipped past, causing Alistanna to jump back and her head to shoot up. Our eyes locked, hers were on the verge of breaking, mine were drier than a desert. Staring into each other, my face started to warp, my eyebrows narrowed, YOU’RE SERIOUS! “How long Alistanna? How long until it’s ‘okay’?” My tone grew sharper with each word. “It’s like you don’t even care sometimes.”
“I do care.” She sputtered, her bottom lip quivered with each word, snot dribbling down from her nose and caused her to sniffle.
“I know you do. Which is the problem.” I reached down and grabbed her hands, pulling her a little closer. “When we’re together, just us, I know.” Moving her hand, I placed her soft palm against my cheek, and my twisted face and sharp tone vanished into the wind. “I know the softness of your hand, the way your fingertips feel as you drag them down the side of my face. The way it feels when you run your fingers through my hairs. I know the smile that grows on your face as you lay your head against my chest to hear my heart beat, the way it makes you feel closer to me.” Tears seeped from the sides of her eyes which each sniffle, even now, you’re beautiful to me. Her hand was glued to the side of my face, constantly caressing, even as I pulled my hands away from hers and moved them to her waist, pulling her towards me. Our faces were now inches away, my voice quivered as I finished, “I know this because I love you. I am not afraid to say that to you, are you?”
Between her weeping, she managed to sputter out, “Of course I love you!” Her breaths were quick and shallow, there was no time to talk for her, barely any time to breath. But through this, she pushed through to give me a bright smile. She placed her head down on my shoulder, moving her hands to behind my back and clenching onto my cloak with such an intense grip it would have needed to be pried off. “Of course I do.” I heard her say, though it was muffled from my cloak and shoulder.
A few minutes later, we walked out of the same entrance together. Her face was redder than ever, is she going to be alright? But her grip encompassing my hand told me all I needed to know. From ear to ear, my smile hung, joined by an unusual wet spot now staining one side of my cloak.
“We were wondering when you guys were gonna wake up.” Sylv said, standing next to Boris and Forland, clearly all ready to go.
“We had some things to take care of.” I replied, tightening my grip on Alistanna’s hand.
“Well, we do not have time to dilly dally. Let us get a move on!” Forland spouted, drawing his sword from its scabbard and pointing down our path. Ever the overdramatic one.
Down the mudded path we went, following the alliums I planted the day before. Travelling down, we were all greeted to the joy of Forland’s recap of his recap of his plan for the fourth time. He reminded us of the possible dangers of fighting in a cave, the unsteadiness of rocks, long sword being unable to take full swings, magic being risky, that kind of stuff. He also reminded us about the monsters inside the cave that we were hired to kill, the Shrank Horns, a mixture between humans and cows. Each kind of Shrank comes with its own unique look which allows you to yada yada yada. Is it really necessary for us to go over this stuff so many times.
By the time he finally ended his long-winded Luna Forest cave system exposé, we were nearing the cave entrance. We still had a few more kilometres to go, but the surrounding trees and forestry told me we were near.
“So, now that that is over with, are you going to tell us what happened back there?” Forland questioned quizzically, glancing over to me.
“What’s there to talk about?”
“Oh, who knows?” He asked, his face growing sterner and his voice growing more sarcastic by the second, “Maybe the fact you decided to run off by yourself when explicitly told not to, added on to that fact that you seemly struggled against two trolls which is highly uncharacteristic. That is assuming you followed our normal protocol for when you scout alone, even if you were not supposed to. Then you come flying from high Skyford to take out a troll with no blade in hand or bow strapped to your back, while missing the health potion on your belt loop. I can probably scrounge a few more things up if you need me to continue?” He stared at me blankly, constantly blinking, waiting for a reply.
Staring back, continuing our breezy walking pace, I replied shortly, “What’re the few more?”
His eyes shot daggers into the crest of my skull, “Why can you not just start with the ones you have already been given?”
A sigh struggled up and out my throat, sounding slightly more like a groan. Forland’s eyes widened. “Fine.” I said shortly. My mind rushed with the memories of the day before; the puzzle felt incomplete, questions that couldn’t be answered. But they wouldn’t let me go without some explanation. “Well, I think the first one is obvious. My job is to scout ahead. It’s what we’re trained to do; to lead the way.”
“But this place is dangerous.” Sylv snapped, her hand clenching tighter around her staff. “This isn’t like the caves and dungeons we went to before where we had maps.”
“Hey, I’m alive and that’s all that matters. And that I was totally right that I’d be fine.” I replied with a smirk. All four of them shared a sideways glance to each other before looking back to me.
“Taros,” Alistanna softly spoke, her hand interlocking with mine and pulling me close to her. “We understand that you’re capable, but that doesn’t mean you’re right.” Her hand began trembling; her grip tightened around my hand. “We are a team. We do things together.”
My cheeks grew pink as her hand clamped down on mine with each word she uttered. “I know, I’ll do better.” A meekly response was all I could muster, but the gentle smile that sat on her lips made it feel right. Quickly, to try and get it out the way, I spat. “I also didn’t follow protocol. But the reason I str-.”
“Taros.” Boris said, a defeated look sunken into his face. “I need say?”
“How many times do we need to tell you to restore your mana?” Forland shouted, waving his hands vigorously. “Seriously! Every mission we tell you to call when you reach a safe point to restore mana. You know? That important thing, mana, flowing through you, keeping you alive?”
“I know what mana is, jackass.” I spat.
“Then act like it.” He retorted. “Or else I’ll go on a history lesson retelling you what mana is and how it works.” An audible groan came from the whole group at these terrifying threats.
“Wait, but there’s something else.” I quickly interjected, raising an open palm out to stop him. “I had enough mana, I should have been fine, but there was something else.”
“You wanna spit it out for us or?” Sylv scowled.
Is there a way I can put this without sounding crazy? Guys, the trees attacked me I swear. No, not ents. The Stygian trees. “Have any of you heard that one rumour about the forest being alive?”
While Boris was the only one to raise his hand, Forland scoffed at my question. “You can’t seriously expect us to believe a forest of this magnitude is living?” Forland asked, his brow raised.
“I know, it sounds crazy. But why else has no-one mapped the forest?” I queried.
“Size.” Forland, Alistanna and Sylv retorted at the same time.
“Okay, sure. But I was attacked-.”
“We know,” Sylv interjected, rolling her eyes “By trolls.”
“No!” I snapped, causing all their eyes to flick from the path to me as I continued. “I wasn’t just attacked by trolls; I was attacked by roots. They were long and thick like snakes,” Forland opened his mouth to interject yet again, but I continued, “But unlike snakes it felt hard and rigid. It didn’t bite me, it just whipped me, dragging me down into the mud. I don’t even remember getting them off me, I just remember standing, bloody and bruised, then having to switch back on immediately to fight those trolls.”
“You sound crazy.” Sylv chuckled, rubbing her hand on my shoulder. Alistanna’s eyes glared at her hand’s slow movement back and forth, her shoulders visibly tensed. We walked in silence, mouths opened, eyes glanced to each other, but there was not a note on how to continue.
“You-.” Forland stopped, swallowing his words as they came. His eyes dropped to the dirt; his lips quivered. “Are you sure? Of that? I mean, if the forest was alive, as in alive, why haven’t we been attacked? We were sleeping in it and nothing happened.”
I looked him in the eyes, unwavering, and said “I have no idea.” His lips continued to quiver, his arms shrugging by his side.
“Heard rumours.” Boris spoke out, raising his head from his chest, standing a head or two taller, looming over us. “Never believed though. Sounded crazy. Unusual crazy.”
“Well.” Forland said, a half-hearted laugh squeezing through his clenched lips. “I’ll have to believe you then this time. For once, you are-.” He froze, his brain slowly caught up with what he was saying, and his furrowed brow became prominent as he glared at me. “Wait a minute, you still ran off, you are not off the hook.” Damnit.
The others turned away from me, all continuing to chatter about what punishment they may dish out on me when we got back home. “He should make dinner for a week.” Sylv said.
Forland scoffed, “Why are we being punished?”
Slinking further behind my friends, I grabbed onto Alistanna’s sleeve and gave a little tug. She in turn slowed down and slunk back with me a metre away from our group.
“What’s up?” She asked, one brow raised above the other.
“What was that about?” I retorted, giving her a quizzical look.
“… It was about you getting a punishment for not lis-.”
“No, not that,” I interrupted, waving her off, “that’s trivial. You tensed up earlier.”
Alistanna was taken aback, she placed her hand on her chest and asked, “What are you talking about?”
“Don’t give me that.” I replied, shaking my head and waving her off once again. “When Sylv rubbed my shoulder, your shoulders tensed and you were staring so hard at that hand I thought it might burn off her.” Alistanna crossed her arms and straightened out her back, her shoulders visibly tensed again. Her sweet lips turned sour as they twisted upon themselves along with the rest of her demeanour. “Oh Maria! Are you… jealous?”
“I am not!” She growled, her cheeks puffing out and turning a bright scarlet. So adorable.
“Now you listen here, we only just stared dating and I don’t know if I can handle this kind of thing.” I bantered, raising my hands to my side and mimicking her face.
“Oh, get off you high horse.” She scoffed. Pushing her finger into my chest and shaking her head side to side, she continued, “You would be feeling the exact same way if Forland did that to me.”
I stared at her blankly for a few seconds before replying, “It’s not too late to take that back. You and I both know that would never happen.”
Her face twisted once more, “Alright, fair. But Sylv’s a wildcard, we don’t know how she thinks. She could think that.”
I chuckled, looking to the ground and shaking my head, “She would never feel that way.”
“And how can you tell?” She asked, pushing her face into mine.
“The same way I can tell you’re on your tippy toes right now, that your hands are on your hips, and that you feel upset even though you know you shouldn’t.” I answered, staring at her with a smile.
She grimaced at me for a minute, unsure of how to reply. She swung her head back towards the group, swishing her long hair into my face before darting back to be next to them while mumbling, “Stupid bloody rogues.” With another chuckle, I quickly followed suit, rushing back up behind the group.