Chapter Thirty-Eight
Marco
With his newly granted access to every aspect of the project’s file network, Marco soon realizes just how far behind he is on everything. The scope of advancements that Gabriel has made all by himself makes him begin to feel his age. Despite how crappy of a human that young man is, he cannot deny his intelligence and attention to detail.
He even went through the trouble of color-coding the motor skills he borrowed and inserted from Five’s scan. With that bit of memory massaged in, Aaron will be able to adapt to his new body much more quickly. There’ll still be quite a learning curve ahead of him, but at least he won’t have to start from scratch as the other two did.
Even though he can credit Gabriel with some significant leaps in the way the data is handled, it doesn’t take long before he starts noticing the shortcomings of Paul’s reconstructed map. Switching from chemical synapses to all-electric ones is not as straight forward as simply replacing them. It doesn’t take a neuroscientist to know that much.
Organic chemical synapses are slow for a reason. They’re better for signal conditioning, and it doesn’t look like that was taken into consideration for Paul. There’s no wonder why he was on edge. His mind wouldn’t have been able to calm down almost at all. It must’ve been quite taxing on the man and he imagines Paul having to sit in the absolute dark and quiet, simply to keep from getting too wound up.
He scoffs out loud, even though he’s the only one there. “We went over all this when we were working on the prototypes!”
With his chin in his hand, he tries to figure out how to alter the program so that it accommodates more signal dampening in areas that are known to be a little touchy. As it did with Arma, when sections become overactive, they can lead to developmental problems. He can’t err on the side of too much compensation, but he doesn’t want Aaron to be too stressed out either. He figures having an overresponsive mind is still better than one that feels drugged.
Over the rest of the day, he works on an altered version of the mapping program that will make Aaron’s purely electric neural system feel as natural as he can get it. It is much more involved than before when all of the synapses were simply defaulted. Now, there are activity patterns to work with, and none of it is straight forward at all. By the end of the day, he finishes, feeling proud of himself.
It’s been a while since he’s been able to put in such a solid twelve hours of work. It makes him feel young and strong again. This is the last step that’ll make everything work, and well enough to suit even himself. He isn’t worried about bringing Aaron back anymore. If anything, he’s looking forward to doing right by Valerie. She’ll see that he’s the real deal soon enough. As soon as he’s done collecting his things to head out, Valerie keys into the scanning lab.
“Oh, hey Valerie, you’re still here too?” He looks up at her with groggy eyes and rubs at them with his knuckles.
“Yes, I uh… I had to take care of some things during lunch and ran a little late. I almost forgot about these two.” She walks over to the charging stations and wakes up Five and Arma.
“Yes, those two, I almost forgot they were here. I’m afraid I bored them near to death. Looks like they conked right out or at least pretended to, so I’d leave them alone.”
The two of them look as ready to go home as a couple of tired pups. Five quietly murmurs something about Aaron being back yet.
“No, not yet Five, it’s going to be another few days I think.” It’s disheartening to see her sad like this.
They all say good night to one another while Valerie leads the way out. Even though she has secured herself a position of trust and authority in upper management, she’ll still never trust being able to leave the two there overnight. She’ll be taking them home with her, to where their new home is.
No matter how rough her days can get, she’s still always cheered up by the sight of her little truck out in the parking lot. Even as down as Five is, she only manages to hold onto her sulk until the engine fires up. The rumble and power of it have them all in better spirits. It makes them feel like they can handle any damn thing that comes their way.
When she opens the door to her apartment, she is surprised to see Clarice and Mikel on the couch in front of the projector. The news is on, but they aren’t watching it. Even though he still looks pretty rough, he at least looks happy to be there with her. He’s laying his head in her lap while she combs her fingers through his hair. He does lift his head a little and quietly says “hey” when she waves her hand at them. It looks like he’s still really down on himself for what happened. She’s glad to see that he might be learning a lesson for once in his life.
Even though everything was his fault, she acknowledges what all he did to try making up for it. Even after what Arma did to his best friend, he still had the sense to listen, bring Aaron’s remains in, rescue Five, and even go after Gabriel. Without him, she’d have lost Five to a couple of real monsters, been thrown out of Werker on her ass, and been left with nothing but the senseless loss of Aaron. Despite having made up, she still can’t stand being in the same room as him. She was hoping to spend some time with her sister, but now she’ll just go back to Aaron’s vacant apartment alone.
After Valerie abruptly leaves without even saying where she’s going, Arma and Five sit down in the loveseat across from Mikel and Clarice. They sit there rather awkwardly, with their hands folded in their laps, not sure what to do. Arma drapes her long leg over the other and spreads her arms out across the back of the couch, making herself look quite chesty. She looks back and forth between Mikel and Five, waiting to see if they will even acknowledge one another.
She can tell that at least Five is a little fidgety about it. Mikel did kidnap her, but then he also saved her too. She hasn’t said anything about him one way or the other, or much of anything at all really, since Aaron’s been gone.
When Mikel does finally glance up at them. She and Five both happen to be staring right at him. He immediately looks away from their attention, like they might hit him or something. When he can’t stand them sitting there staring at him anymore, he gets up off the couch to go stand at the street-side window of the living room. She knows he’s going to say something, so she nudges at the cushion behind Five to get her attention. She thinks it’s about time they all level with one another.
Mikel doesn’t turn around or say Five’s name, but they all know who he’s addressing. “I’m really sorry for what I did. I didn’t know who you were, or what you were back then. I… Ray and I… we’ve always hated robots, ‘cause they’ve made us feel like we’re trash our whole lives. There’s no excuse for what we did. We knew you had feelings, and that’s why we did it. It was really awful.”
Five waits a little while before responding. She shifts in her seat, pulling one of her feet up underneath herself, to sit on her leg. “I know, Mikel. I know why everyone hates robots, and I understand that now.” She lets out a breath and looks over at Clarice for a second, then back to him. “I had already forgiven the two of you for what you did before any of this happened. You didn’t know what we were, and you probably thought we were going to take over and kick everyone out in the ditch with the rats.”
“I’m sorry for what Werker did to you. You didn’t deserve any of it, and all I ever did was make it even worse.” He wipes his face off on his sleeve but still doesn’t turn around.
Five looks down at her hands, thinking, and then back up to her. She doesn’t only speak to Mikel, but her and Clarice as well. “I’ve come to see all that’s happened to me as only being a tiny little scratch on the life I still have in front of me. I’ll probably live a very long time, even after a lot of you have come and gone, but it doesn’t mean any of you mean any less to me. If anything, that makes you even more important.” She remembers what Aaron said to her. “We have to be good to one another while we still can. We really won’t get to for very long, you know.”
What she says seems to really reach Mikel. It makes him realizes he can’t just wallow in his guilt like this anymore. When he’s able to turn and face Five, he does so with a confident posture. “I’ll do right by you, from here on out, I swear it. Anything you ever need.”
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He looks like he’s about to come over and even hug Five, so she gives him a stern look, that they’re not there yet. He gets her drift to keep his hands to himself and finds it best to just sit back down with Clarice, who is a little astonished with his turnaround. She doesn’t want to make anything of it, so she changes the subject. There are a few things she feels a little lost on.
“So, what exactly is going on with Aaron? Valerie still hasn’t told me anything about what happened to him, or what they are doing with him. She won’t even talk to me about it. I heard something about bringing him back. What does that even mean? I thought he was… you know…” She just about can’t take it anymore.
Arma looks right at Mikel, letting him know that the two of them are not even close to being campy just yet. “Dead, that’s what you mean right? Yes, he was murdered when he went out to Ray’s, looking for Five.”
Clarice’s mouth goes dry. She recalls the details of what happened well enough, but that’s not what she was asking. “But you all sound like that wasn’t the end of it? Why hasn’t anyone told someone that he’s passed? What are you doing with his body, his things, his home, his job?”
Both Mikel and Clarice sit silently in shock while Five goes through all of the gritty details of what she and Arma are, and what Aaron will soon become. She recounts almost every precise detail that was said between Valerie and Marco, how their original minds were sliced, copied, and remade. It’s all so clear now. She even makes a point out of them all having been murdered in the beginning as well, insinuating that they have unfinished business to attend to.
Even though it’s a bit overwhelming for Clarice to be hearing all at once, she seems to grasp what’s going on well enough. After everything is explained to her, it is no longer her and Five that she’s concerned about. She takes their origins in stride like she has always known. It’s for her sister and Aaron that she’s most concerned with. They are dabbling in things far from what she could have ever imagined. She sympathizes with Aaron, knowing that he’ll suddenly be waking in a world not of his own choosing.
Clarice’s face still clearly gives up all the little things she isn’t saying aloud. She’s seen the same thing before. She finds that Clarice will often glance at her or Five, but never for long. Even when they don’t believe in it, people always get hung up on the missing-soul issue. It’s like they naturally resist truths that don’t conveniently align with their conceded delusions. Frankly, it pisses her off. She wants to ask Clarice, and especially Mikel, right out, if they believe that the new Aaron will simply be a mechanical monster, haunted by the memories of a dead man. She wants to ask them if that’s what they think she and Five are.
Noticing her glare, Clarice backpedals a little on her worries and tries to sound a little bit more curious about what will be happening, now that it’s not just hypothetical anymore. “Well, if he’s going to be coming back, for real, should his old life be… left behind, or is he still planning to resume who he once was. I can’t imagine him going back to work like that, could he? Should I call his company, at least tell them that maybe he was just sick or something? What about his family, do any of them even know that he’s been missing?”
Mikel sits back down on the couch and slumps over with his elbows on his knees. “Well, I suppose he might go back to work. It didn’t sound like he really sees or talks to anyone else anyway. None of the machines he works with’ll know the difference, I don’t think. What else is he gonna do?” He sounds kind of sarcastic about it, but also like that’s what he expects will probably happen.
The thought of it kind of makes Arma smile. She imagines him going on with the rest of his life as if this was all just a bump in the road, happy as a clam. “You know, I kind of think he will rather like being a robot.”
She is actually thinking of Five when she says it, but it takes Clarice a bit by surprise. “Like it? You don’t remember anything about being human, do you?” The sudden look from her and Five at the same time makes her jaw drop. “Oh, dear, that’s not what I meant at all. I’m terribly sorry. What I meant is that… Aaron was in love and now he’s…. Things will be different.” Her voice trails off while she thinks of what all he’ll be leaving behind. She shakes her head with the sorrow of it all. It’s no wonder why Valerie was so upset when Marco and the others started to go through with it before telling her.
Arma is a bit pissed off by the persistent doubt they all have, even while she and Five physically sit there in front of them. She stands, not quite ready to yell at Clarice and Mikel, but adamant that they not fuss about Aaron’s affairs.
“Don’t you two pea-brains bother worrying about Aaron, or how you think he’ll feel about it. I know him better than any of you probably ever will. He will be a champion over death, and in his new life.” She knows what his struggles and his passions are, not them. She is not going to waste her breath explaining it to them. When they see him again, they will see the truth for their damn selves.
Unexpectedly, Five is the one that lays into them. “We know it’s not all going to be rays of sunshine and happiness for Aaron when he wakes up as a machine! It is not going to be pleasant, and it is not going to be easy! In fact, it’ll be rather terrible if you want to know the truth!”
She thinks of the dream she had the night before, and how terrible and real it was. “Aaron will have fought death, the thing that has forever been stalking him, and he’ll have defeated it for all of us. Do you know anyone else who would have sacrificed everything that made them human, to come back to this hell, for those they love?”
Both Clarice and Mikel are sitting back in the couch upright, stunned. “Five… we didn’t…”
“Aaron will be giving up everything. He knew exactly what he would be walking into. He wanted this. I suggest you do what you can to not make it any worse than it already will be!” She turns away and stalks off down the narrow hallway to Valerie’s room and shuts the door behind herself.
She doesn’t say anything to them herself. There isn’t anything left that she can anyway. She only looks down at them sympathetically and lets out a sigh. Clarice and Mikel are still a little stunned, but they understand that Five is pretty sensitive about what’s happened.
“We’ll see you in the morning.” She turns and heads back to the room, wondering where the hell Valerie is.
With Arma gone, Clarice turns to Mikel and raises an eyebrow at him. “Would you thwart the order of life and death for me, to be bold enough to spit in the face of the universe and come back as a robot, if that’s what it took?”
The hair on his arms raises as a chill climbs up his spine. He realizes that it’s not cowardice that’s driving any of them toward immortality, but tenacity. He lays her small soft hand in his and looks down at it.
“I would only do it for you. I would put death’s neck under my boot, no matter how harsh the consequences.” It is a lie, but he says it anyway.
After that nightmare that he had, there is no way in hell he would go through with it. He doesn’t know any of the specifics about how Arma and Five feel inside, but one thing’s for sure, they and Aaron are not the people they once were anymore. He would never say anything of the sort to them after this, but he doesn’t have to. He can tell by the look on their faces, that deep down, they know. He can only hope that whatever Aaron becomes, it doesn’t come to resent its life.
In Aaron’s apartment, Valerie sits on the edge of Aaron’s bed while she listens to Marco on the phone. He’s been updating her on the technical details and improvements he’s been making, trying to make her feel more hopeful. He repeats himself often, to make sure she understands how difficult it’s still going to be, but that it truly will be incredible. He can tell how more apprehensive she has become lately, especially the closer they get to the end.
“I don’t know Marco. It’s gonna be so different this time. We all knew him. We’ll know the difference, and so will he. Anything short of perfection will be horrible. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if we turned him into some kind of freak, like Paul, and then expected him to go on like that.”
Before she completely falls apart, he tries to give her some kind of assurance. “I will not let that happen, Valerie. I’ll take responsibility for whatever happens. If there’s anything wrong, I’ll know as soon as the artificial map is finished. I won’t take it to print if it’s not perfect, I promise. We don’t have to go through with it if it’s not perfect and we’ll always have his scan. We have all the time in the world to get this right, but honestly, I think we’re there. We can do this.”
In a moment of clarity, one that she didn’t want to have, she interrupts him. “Why are we even going through with this at all? She knows that she was certainly not the one to have pushed the idea. She didn’t even know he was dead until after they had already started. “Why did Mikel bring him to you? He didn’t know about any of this. Why are you risking everything for him like this? Are you guys using him to prove out the next step?”
Marco is a little offended that she might think that, but he can understand it. He sighs and tells her what she probably doesn’t want to know anyway. “It was Arma that brought him in. She made Mikel bring him to me.” With a grim face, he contemplates what’s going on. “I assumed you’d maybe all talked about it. He didn’t say anything along the lines of wanting in before this happened?” Clearly, he must have talked to Arma about it, but he doesn’t mention that. “Were not doing this for you, Valerie, not for Five, or Arma, but for him. Would he have wanted this or not, you tell me?”
With her head down, she says “yes” because she knows better. It’s all she can manage before starting into racking sobs again. She hangs up and curls herself up on the bed again.
When she heads back to her apartment, Mikel has gone home. It seems he’s not done paying for what he’s done. Tomorrow, he’ll have to help the rest of Ray’s family deal with what’s happened, all while keeping the truth from them.
Having been left alone for only mere minutes, her sister is already worked up and has to wrap her arms around her. Until quite late, Clarice tells her all about what Five and Arma had said about Aaron. Hearing about it is quite unburdening. It helps to hear about him as if he is only really off on a weekend trip. She starts to believe that she really might see him again.