The Essays of Molly- A Search For True Good

"It took me some time to understand, but eventually I realized it was always I who had thrown the ball for which I ran."

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Molly had a problem and her boi wasn’t fixing it. The tall boi always fixed it. Always. But, not… now. This was wrong. Just wrong.

When the Sky and the Earth had started thundering and screaming at her she hadn’t known what was going on, but the next thing she knew she could see a color she had never seen before. She had just focused on her boi calling for her and ran after him when he went inside, but after that he suddenly just froze, and when the boi didn’t respond to her whines, she had gave up and decided to focus on the weird color that she was seeing in the corner of her vision. The instant she focused on it, the sounds became mostly muted and suddenly her vision was filled with that color. It was filled with the little frozen worms she would see on walls in in areas where other tall two-legs like her boi hung out at.

The problem was she couldn’t see anything else. Just endless waves of floating frozen worms floating off into nothing. Forever. It wouldn’t stop.

Growling softy, she finally tried burying her head into couch seat and focus on the darkness instead of this bad color! It was bad. Bad!

And with that, Molly’s problem was gone and the horrible sound was thundering in her ears all over again!

The voice in the Sky and Earth was telling her things more complicated than she was familiar with, but basically she felt like it just kept repeating how someone was doing really well.

It was annoying because it was like it was barking right into her ear and it wouldn’t stop. Like one of those annoying little Chihuahuas, or one those damn Huskies!

For a second, Molly felt her hair bristle at the thought of Huskies. Grrrrrr……. It was the constant yapping! They never shut up! And they always thought they were howling in unison with their hoomans! Too dumb to even realize their hoomans were usually just howling at them to shut up!

The Sky and the Earth weren’t shutting up either so it was almost definitely a Husky! Grrrrrr…. Now that she growled on it, she definitely heard that the Sky and Earth were yelling in a Huskie voice. Disgusting! Grrrr………

Molly was a GOOD dog and she was attacked once by a Husky at one of fenced off fields her boi would bring her to. She was a GOOD girl! A Good girl. Everyone said so! That other dog had hurt her ear, and everybody in the field starting howling at it too! She had heard her boi screaming that it was a BAD dog! How scandalous! A BAD dog attacking her! The Goodest of Good girls! Grrrrr…… and now the Sky and Earth itself were Huskies? This was a horrible day and Molly only had Good days!

She found herself with teeth bared and growling in rising displeasure. BAD SKY! BAD EARTH! QUIET! Molly wanted quiet! Quiet was Good! Howling was Bad!

Just like that, the thundering sounds and howling disappeared. Good?

Yes, Good.

Now… maybe it was time she checked in with her floofy bois. Her hooman seemed to be lost starting into that noisy piece of weird wood he was always caring around. He did that a lot. Sometimes Molly almost thought he liked it more than her because he sure did spend a lot of time staring at it.

She didn’t really blame him. She had a few favorite sticks too. She lost one once, and that was a Bad day. Baddddddddd. Every once in a while, she caught the slightest whiff of it and she felt super excited, but, grrrrr….. It always ended up being one of her other favorite sticks.

What was she doing again? Taking a nap? That would be pretty Good right? Wait, no, she was looking for her floofy bois. She could hear the bigger one wailing in alarm, but she didn’t know what from. The noise had stopped, but the floofy bois both seemed to have ran back into their coop. She could tell now that she had actually started looking for them. She wanted to still go check on them but her boi always howled a lot when he went into their coop.

You eat one egg and suddenly everybody is howling at you. So strange. They howled even louder when she ate the fluffy bois poop which was seriously confusing. Their poop was top class! Some of the tastiest poo around! Almost as Good as cat poop! Grrrrr…… ok not that Good, but still it was Good poo! Better than rabbit poop!

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Molly felt herself drawn something musky she was picking up in the air. It smelled of dry stone and the loose soil of the sour tennis ball tree nearby at her last den, the place she had lived with her hooman mom, before… grrrrrr….. Molly felt bad just thinking about it. Bad. Bad! Molly was Good, Good!

To Molly, it was all very clear. Good was what hoomans barked when they pet her. Good was food. Good was the ball being thrown. Boi was Good. Water was Good. Sun was Good. Rain was Good, but also Bad because the hooman would call her Bad after she ran in the rain. Which was Bad. So rain was… Bad? She still thought it was Good though because it felt really Good in her fur. Bad was… Bad. Bad felt like… Bad. Hunger. Mom yelling. Getting hit by that fast Bad metal animal.

That musky smell made her nose twitch again, which was Good because Molly didn’t think like this often, if ever. Molly felt Good, but Bad. Tired. Too many Bad & Good things. The smell distracted her and that was Good, Molly just knew it.

She could tell the smell was getting closer; the wind was carrying it to her, however she could smell it’s acrid quality getting stronger as it neared. She smelled mice and egg mixed in with it now. Lizard. Frog. Bird. Molly breathed in even deeper, forcefully drawing in the smell as she realized what she was smelling.

Snake. She HATED Snakes more than she hated Huskies! Well… than she used to hate Huskies; now that it was revealed that the Earth and Sky had a voice and it was a Husky, Molly felt like Huskies might be even Badder than she had thought. Snakes were not just Bad, they were Fear.

It was close enough now that she could actively hear it, coming in just behind the Chicken Den. This was so Good! Molly could really hear this one it was Good loud! For a few moons now she hadn’t really heard much of anything unless it was really close to her. What a Good for Molly.

Bad snake though. Molly shifted her position and then froze, trying to be a still as possible to hear the snake. By the entrance of the chicken den, there was a couple old gopher holes and Molly strained to hear which tunnel the snake was coming from. They were all interconnected so it made the sound of the snake come from all three, but Molly could hear just a little bit more noise coming from the hole a bit to her right, the one that was just in front of the chicken den hole. Just a hint of rattle as the snake scraped a rock along it’s path.

Rattle? Why did that make her feel… not Good? Bad? Molly felt Bad? Bad? Her? Molly?

Molly could feel her tail tucking between her legs as sudden feelings of Fear and Bad started to fill her. Right then, the head of the snake started rising out the hole and Molly could feel her whole body freeze as her muscles locked tight and she fought the sudden urge to open her mouth and start panting as her lungs started burning. What was happening? Molly was Bad? Molly?

The snake rose from the whole slowly as it looked sinuously around it’s new environment out in the open. Nearly immediately it saw Molly and hissed fiercely at her while it pulled the rest of it’s body from the tunnel and coiled up defensively.

“Sssssssssssssssthhhhhh!”

Molly was having a Bad day. Molly was Bad. Bad! This was so Bad! Molly couldn’t take it! She wanted to run, to attack, to bark, to howl for help but all she could do was just feel Bad and stay frozen! Bad! Molly was so Bad!

The snake eyeballed her for a moment more before flicking it’s tongue at her, seeming to smell her Fear before dismissing Molly and looking back towards the chicken den. This was why it came after all. The snake was so hungry. So unreasonably hungry. Hearing the cooing of the chickens? What a treat. What an absolute tasty, delicious treat. This dog was broken. The snake decided it would grab a chicken first, and then head back to it’s burrow and take a nap.

As Molly watched the the long body of the snake undualate it’s way throught the chicken den hole she was filled with Bad! Molly was Bad! Molly was NEVER BAD! Molly was GOOD! Grrrrrrrr….. Good! Good! Good! Molly was Good! Snake Bad! Bad snake!

Molly saw yet another one of those blue boxes appear in her vision for a heart beat before swiftly disappearing and the instant it did she suddenly felt fine. Not just fine, Molly felt Good! Molly felt Angry! Her floofy bois! The SNAKE WAS GOING TO EAT HER FLOOFY BOIS!!!

Filled the most righteous Good Dog Angry that she had ever felt, Molly leaped at the last two feet of the snake’s tail that was still left outside the den. Seizing the gnarled bulb on the end of the snake’s tail with her teeth, she could feel her teeth grinding as they tore both into the weird boney structure and the tail itself.

Now, it’s important to know that Molly didn’t like fighting. Molly was a Good Dog. Good. But she did used to have a sister who was a Pitbull, and Moonshine was often a Bad Dog. Mostly because of how she got once a fight started. And… a few times, Moonshine had bit her. Had latched onto her, and had proceeded to rip her whole body and head around so furiously that at the time, Molly thought her leg would be ripped off. Molly thought that was Bad. Fear Bad. Moonshine was gone now, but Molly had never forgotten how Moonshine had torn into her.

At that very moment, Molly just knew that she had to protect her floofy bois and yet all she could think of was Moonshine and how she raged. So…. Molly decided to do the same thing. To just be like Moonshine. Bad Moonshine who was Good, just also Bad. Molly wasn’t sure if she could have ever raged before, but Molly had just spent minutes thinking she was a Bad dog and Molly was the GOODEST OF GIRLS! MOLLY WAS GOOD AND MOLLY MUST RAGE!

MOLLY RAGE!!!!!!!

RAGE!!!!

RAGE!!!!

Molly’s vision had been getting darker and darker as she had started thinking about Moonshine, and by the time she had fully given into the rage, everything was black and the sounds all seemed so muted and far away.

Molly did have one last thought, an almost un-Molly like thought before everything went black.

Molly was Good and Bad? She knew at that moment, everything was suddenly different. It was such a Good day, and then in just an instant, everything had changed.