"I guess I really didn't have close enough friends back at Attleton." I laughed dryly and cleared my throat. Recalling what happened with Professor Hawthorne made my hands shake. "So, picture this, I was supposed to write an essay for him, right? Typical stuff, but then he tells me to take a seat at his desk. His eyes had this wild, unhinged look to them. Before I could even process what was happening, he swings and lands a nasty hit right here." I traced my finger over my temple. My voice was wavering now, teetering on the edge of tears. "And... he... he hit me again. That's the last thing I recall before everything went black. Luckily, one of my other professors burst in, put an end to Hawthorne's frenzy before it got out of hand. But man, I was scared. Scared for my damn life." I choked out the last few words, my gaze falling to the ground.

As the tears spilled over, Bran and Edna draped their arms around me, offering a comforting rub to my back. Daphne looked on in silence, her eyes glistening, reddened by suppressed tears. None of them uttered a word as my sobs dwindled down to mere whimpers, then to an absolute hush. When my tears finally ceased and a shred of my voice clawed its way back, I managed to croak out in a hushed, strained whisper, "I'm certain he's mellowed out now. Didn't mean to spook you all. It's just seeing him again... it triggered this panic attack, you know?" I let out a snuffle, my head sagging with defeat. "The teachers must know about it, right?" My voice faltered again. "The last time I saw him was that dreadful day..."

Daphne slid her chair closer and held my hand, the warmth of her grasp healed much of my anguish. "It's going to be all right, Rollie. You're going to have a good year here at Loxton; the three of us are going to make sure of that. You seem like a really cool guy, and we're excited to get to know you more."

I looked up to meet her eyes, and my stress was alleviated. I held her hand just a little tighter.

Later in the evening, when all of the students entered the common room, everyone greeted me. I tried to match their enthusiasm, but I wasn't at the same level of joy as the rest of them. I couldn't believe how many people approached me, shook my hand, looked me in the eye, and smiled. It was a little overwhelming, and I didn't remember anyone's name, but it meant a lot that many of them introduced themselves. It was unlike the introduction at Attleton by a long shot. It was a little weird, but I didn't dislike it. A few kids joked about my hair, but it was all lighthearted.

"There will be more people for you to meet later. For now, let's go to the boy's dorm," Bran said as the crowd winded down and everyone entered their respective branched-out staircase.

"Goodnight, Rollie! See you tomorrow for the tour!" Daphne said, and Edna also echoed goodnight.

"Goodnight." I paused and wanted to savor the moment. "Thank you so much for everything. It's been a wonderful introduction so far. I really mean that."

Bran showed me the way to the boys' dormitory. Our staircase was toward the back, not far from the couch I just cried at. We entered the room before the rest of the guys showed up. I put everything away and organized my stuff. It was nicer at Attleton having a suite with only one roommate, but this would take some adjustment. There were bunk beds in a sectioned-off high-ceiling room. There were more rooms down the hall like the one I was standing in. The windows were tall and arched. The interior had cream-colored hardwood floors and minimalistic paintings of orange flames along the wall. The pictures seemed modern yet old, like they had been there a while.

I was surprised that the socializing was cut short downstairs. Many other students in the room honored a 10 PM quiet time rule for those who may have wanted to study late at night or just wanted to fall asleep. Sixteen of us boys stayed in one of the 3rd year bedrooms. They were sure to shake my hand and introduce themselves, some of whom I had already met. My self-doubt was coming alive, though.

Are all these people just going to hate me? Am I going to feel left out once again? What's this year going to be like? Do I actually miss Attleton?

When it was time to sleep, the lights were turned off, and my fellow Fyrons leaped into bed.

"Rollie! We should be bunkmates! Do you care if I take the top bunk?" Bran asked.

"Uh, no. I don't care." I shrugged.

Bran's eyes bulged. "Are you serious? You really don't care?"

"No. I think I prefer the bottom bunk anyways."

"Wow! I can't believe it! Well, I won't wait around and let you change your mind. Good night, Rollie!" Bran said as he flew up the ladder

Everyone else was in bed and seemingly passed out when their head hit the pillow. I was the only one tossing and turning.

You don't belong here. This isn't home, it never will be. You thought you could just have a fresh start? Nope, coward. Your problems can't be forgotten. They are still alive and well in your head. Let's go over them again for the millionth time, shall we?

This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it.

No! I'm going to think happy thoughts. I am going to focus and put forth positive energy toward something else. I learned this in therapy, you can't make me feel worse. Let's focus on...

Daphne. My goodness, I didn't think my heart would flutter for someone so quickly. Remember when she held my hand earlier? And when she sat next to me on the train? Could you imagine if she was lying beside me right now, her arm around me? Her touch could mend everything. Just picturing us in a hugging embrace was healing enough. I wonder if she had similar thoughts…

"You sure?"

Huh?

"Is this what you really want? Me to be your only friend? I don't want to be the center of your life."

No, Farrah, please, I don't want to hear any more of—

"I mean, what's going to happen when we get done with school? You have no ambition. You don't even try to learn and take advantage of the magical education offered, yet you think the whole world is against you. What are you even rebelling against? Who are you trying to kid? Your self-loathing is exhausting, and I can't take it anymore. I don't think any girl could."

Farrah, I know, please, I've learned. I still don't know what I'm doing, but I'm better. I'm going to find happiness elsewhere, and I'm going to learn to love myself. I've learned so much in therapy.

"Yeah. Right. I'll see it when I believe it. Sorry, Rollie. I can't be your only friend anymore."

As I lay in bed, I winced, and a few tears snuck out.

If only I could take a late-night walk on the grounds to settle my nerves.

I focused on a conversation I had in therapy that was one of the most helpful dialogues I had the entire summer.

"So tell me, Rollie, what's been something that has bothered you. What has been something that has made you feel angry or frustrated?" Aunt Josephine asked.

Anything and everything.

"That's true. There's a lot in our world that we don't have control over, and it can be difficult to have things go our way when so many factors influence us."

Couldn't have said it better myself.

"So let's take a moment to focus on one of the things that bother you the most. If one thing has more weight than another, it would be important to discuss."

Anything and everything. A lot angers me, so it feels like it'll all just upset me the same.

"Maybe we can try looking at it this way. What thoughts flip through your mind that really make your blood boil? As in, which thoughts really bother you that it seems like it repeats nonstop, and you would do anything to get rid of that thought or memory."

Farrah. I would do anything to clear my mind of her.

"Who's Farrah?"

Honestly, the first girlfriend and only friend I truly had when I was on campus at Attleton. She broke up with me.

"I'm sorry to hear that. Heartbreaks are not easy."

Tell me about it.

"Why do you wish you could delete all of your memories together?"

Because I think about her way more than I'd like to. And it pisses me off she rejected me.

"Are you mad at her or the situation?"

I guess the whole damn thing. I felt like I loved her, and it just hurt when she didn't want to be with me anymore, and yet I still couldn't get her out of my mind, but I would see her on campus smiling, having fun, hanging out with another guy and it just ruined my happiness.

"Recognizing the entire landscape when you're lost amongst the trees can be a challenge, but believe me, Rollie, it's a good thing that you two aren't together anymore. Reflect on the entirety of the relationship, someone had the clarity to see it wasn't meant to be. We can be upset about the time we feel was wasted or be grateful for the time saved, but the fact remains: a decision was made, and now you have the chance to move ahead. It might be hard, it will definitely require time, but trust me when I say there are others out there who could be a far better match for you. Remember not to force a connection that simply isn't present. We must respect others' decisions, even when they sting; no one else is in charge of your joy. That's a flame you must kindle and keep alive yourself."

"You ready to get your schedule, Rollie?" Bran whispered.

I shot out of bed and glanced around. "Where is everyone else?"

"Well, Tommy over there is still sleeping. You're not late or anything. It's just all of the guys hang out in the common room until we have to go to the Dining Hall for breakfast and get our schedule for the term."

"I see. Well, just give me a moment to get ready, I guess. I'll meet you in the common room shortly." I got out of bed and stared at my belongings and the orange cloak draped over everything. As much as I wanted to throw on my denim jacket with all the band patches, I smirked and threw on the cloak. Even though it felt the same as my old cloak at Attleton, something about it felt different aside from the color.

When I arrived in the common room, everyone was already shuffling towards the door. I jumped in line with the rest of the bunch. We all headed towards the Dining Hall, Bran and I linked up with Edna and Daphne. The four of us sat at the end of a table next to another group that seemed similar to us but a little more uptight.

"Here are the course schedules for the Amerzian, the Dragonstryke captain, and her two minions," a student said, offering four scrolls to us with an outstretched grin.

Daphne snatched up the papers and passed them to each of us. "Thanks, Clark."

"We're not her minions, dude." Bran eye-rolled.

"So, Rollie, I don't know if we explained, but Clark here is a Fyron dormitory advisor. He helps out Nicola with some things and takes responsibility for the hall. Like working the front desk, the mailroom, stuff like that," Daphne explained.

"You should know, I introduced myself last night," Clark said. He was a lanky kid with short brown hair parted at the center. His face reminded me of an elf, and I actually remembered his face from the day before.

Daphne smirked. "He met like a thousand people. He doesn't remember everyone."

"It's a pleasure meeting you again, Clark."

"For sure, man. Just let me know if you ever need anything. We are in the same sleeping room as well." Clark continued down the table, handing out schedules.