Once again, I felt a familiar pleasure followed by an enormous torrent of information. This time, it surged through my entire body and threatened to tear me apart. They were human souls after all, there was no way I could handle that much of a shock. I blacked out.

When I awoke, a question sprung into my mind.

Who am I?

To my surprise, I had no answer. When I thought about it, a number of names and faces flashed through my mind but none of them seemed to be ‘me’.

I sat up. This information was disturbing but I didn’t feel the need to panic. For a while, I just thought about what to do next. Some demons attacked me but they died instantly. It was barely worth mentioning. Eventually, I realized that sitting wouldn’t give me a purpose, so I decided to search the city.

All I found were more demons. I killed any that I saw, whether they attacked me or not. Eating them felt right but it was hardly a purpose. Somehow, I felt like there was something more important for me to do.

I ended up wandering into the castle garden. A man stood at the entrance, even though the metal gate was already broken beyond repair. Or maybe he stood there because it was broken? It was unclear.

“A-A demon!” He announced through chattering teeth. “Stay away! I’m not going to ask twice.”

What would he do? I was curious and so I ignored his warning.

As I approached the gate, the man ran further into the garden. I was only slightly disappointed. There was a clear trail to the castle and so I followed it. I could smell a lot of people hiding inside those stone walls. They could be eaten just like demons, so maybe that was why I came here?

When I reached the entrance to the castle, two people stood in my way. There was the man from earlier, but now he had a woman leaning on his shoulder. I stepped forward and they flinched. Was I really that scary? I had no idea what I looked like.

Curious, I looked down to examine my hands. Actually, they weren’t so much hands as large, black claws. My entire body seemed to be made of some kind of shadowy miasma. Even other demons didn’t look like this.

Huh? Was I a demon? I had just sort of assumed that I was. It seemed to make sense. Yea, I’m a demon. I nodded, ignoring the terrified couple.

“Hey…do you recognize us?” The woman asked wearily.

“What!? Why would that thing know us?” The man shot back.

I looked carefully at the woman. She returned my gaze with unflinching, blue eyes. Suddenly, I was overcome with a powerful feeling. A sparse set of memories flashed through my mind. Apparently she had been injured earlier. I clutched my aching head, somehow I felt like I had a purpose. I took another step forward.

“Wait…There’s no way, right?” The man breathed. “You’re kidding…”

As I approached, the man helped his partner sit. He still glared at me warily, like a mother bird standing over her eggs.

“Is it really you?” He growled. “And what happened to Sera?”

I had nothing to say to that, so I continued my advance in silence.

“He finally made it back, just let him do what he needs to.” The woman sighed.

Once I stood over her, a thought occurred.

Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

How do I help her? A tidal-wave of information flowed into me. I placed my hand on her head and began a chant. Blood began to drip out from my arm. It pooled around her wound and then suddenly vanished in a fine red mist. I removed my hand, the strong feeling driving me forward had disappeared. 

The woman stood up and examined herself. “…I don’t believe it, it’s like I was never injured. How did you-?”

She was cut off by a scream. To my surprise, it was mine. My skin ruptured and blood began pouring out from the wounds that covered my body. I fell over in shock. This horrible pain only lasted for a few minutes but it felt like hours. Meanwhile, the human pair stood over me helplessly. Their worried faces were my only comfort.

Despite this horrible ordeal, I didn’t look any worse by the end of it. My wounds healed as quickly as they had appeared. Once my condition stabilized, I was exhausted but uninjured.

Why did that happen? I asked myself. Another memory flared to life like a candle inside of my head. I could see myself instructing a demon to use a simplistic chant. The test subject performed the chant and with the intended result. Then, it experienced the same torture that I had just felt. The only difference was that the demon did not survive.

So, I shouldn’t use sorcery. I concluded.

“A-Are you ok?” The woman asked.

I nodded and rose to my feet. Once again, I was without a purpose. I looked out at the burning city and felt some lingering attachment. It wasn’t nearly as strong as my previous desire but at least I had somewhere to go.

“Where are you going?” The man asked me as I walked away.

I didn’t feel a need to reply.

There were still a lot of demons running wild in the city. It took the entire night to track them all down. Of course, finding them was the difficult part. None of them could stand up to me in a fight. When the sun rose over this devastated city, I had already moved on.

For a while, I drifted aimlessly through the wilderness. There wasn’t anything I wanted to do, so I did nothing. It wasn’t until days later that I felt another desire. One morning, new memories bubbled up to my mind’s surface. They chronicled the life of a single person.

At first, I was confused. These memories served no purpose so I could easily let them fade away. However, I felt a strange desire to hold on to them. More than that, I wanted to share them. These memories were proof that this person had lived. They didn’t want to simply vanish without a trace.

I ran to the first town that I could find. After consulting my memories for some appropriate clothes to hide my figure, I set out to gather some listeners. In the end, there were only a few people willing to hear my story. Even so, when I finished my tale, I felt satisfied.

Every once in a while, new memories would surface. Each one compelled me to speak. Eventually, these episodes became more and more frequent. Sometimes, I would feel doubt. Was this really what I should be doing? All of the people narrating my stories had different goals and each was equally important and equally worthless to me.

A lot of time passed and I never really found an answer. Just like the people in my stories, I simply allowed my desires to lead me down one path of many. At the very least, it has been a satisfying life.