The first dismissal was the hardest. It happened three years in, when we were all nine years old. Thirty kids were sent away and it was the first time we experienced just how much of an impact one’s absence has. The noise was noticeably lower and took months to get used to. The empty tables in the dining hall were never filled again. The empty bunks felt eerie in the night.

But by the time the next dismissal came, we were used to it.

It wasn’t until there were only twenty of us that the absences held weight again. The longer we lived together and fought by each other’s sides, the more necessary each person became.

As I ate the white and grey gunk on my tray, seated beside the other five kids, I felt ready to vomit. Everyone else clearly felt the same. Gaece and Libyci weren’t flirting as they normally did. Scotia wasn’t discussing her theories. Zealand wasn’t even doing pushups on the floor as he normally did after a loss.

The entire room was silent, save for the occasional crunch of someone eating.

“Are we going to elect new leaders now?” Zealand finally asked, clearing his throat uncomfortably when everyone gave him a quizzical look. “You know, for the final training tomorrow? Congo and Sarmatia were always the…you know, the ones in charge.”

“It doesn’t matter what we do tomorrow,” Scotia said quietly, tapping her utensil on the shiny grey tray. “They’ve chosen who will go and who will stay.”

“We don’t know that.” Zealand protested. “They could change their mind at the last second.”

Scotia glanced at me and I recalled what she said about where the dismissed really went. “Maybe we should fail on purpose,” I whispered, surprised by my own ability to speak. Everyone else had the same reaction.

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“Why?” Scotia asked, raising her eyebrow. This may have been the first conversation we ever had.

“None of us want to fight the Calumnia, not really…except for maybe Zealand.” I glanced at him and received an affirmative nod. He smiled at me for the first time in years. “Wouldn’t we all prefer sleeping through the war instead of potentially dying?”

The silence was my answer. None of them were confident we would actually be put to sleep. The dismissed might be sent to the Occisio’s home planet or worse . . . killed.

Or maybe the Occisio were lying and the dismissed were sent to Earth instead. Maybe we were only here, continuing our training, because we weren’t ready to fight yet. Yes! I wanted to believe that! Congo would have wanted to fight, not sleep while a war raged without him.

“We could fight Gregis,” Scotia whispered, making the other girl’s shake their heads in fear. Gregis could be listening in right now. “If we work together, we can tie him down and force him to answer our questions. We can get the truth from him.”

“Not all of us are as paranoid as you, Scotia,” Libyci said, gripping her boyfriend’s hand tightly as she glared at the red-haired girl. “You’ve seen what the Calumnia did to our people. Our mentor wouldn’t lie about such a thing.”

Scotia smirked. “Why wouldn’t he?”

“There’s no benefit,” Libyci answered. “Tomorrow, we’re going to complete the training as we always do, then we will finally fulfil our destiny and make Sarmatia proud.”

Scotia opened her mouth to protest but shy Sina spoke up before she could say more. “She’s right. Sarmatia and Congo wouldn’t want us to do something so reckless. If we turn on our saviors now, everyone’s hard work and sacrifices will be for nothing.”

Scotia studied each of them, this time lingering on me as she searched for someone to help her. I might be the only one on her side now, and not just because I had a crush on her. However, there was a lump in my throat preventing me from doing anything besides gulping.

“See you all tomorrow.” Zealand rose from the table and deposited his tray in the disposal box near the door. He then waved goodbye to everyone, his flaring temper finally extinguished, and headed into the hall. Graec and Libyci did the same, followed soon after by a sluggish Sina.