Not once had he ever thought about being a parent. For two of his lives, he couldn't even read, and for three of his lives, he could barely take care of himself, let alone a child.

But he watched many parents in his time. Usually, he would see the worst kind that beat and belittled their children. They would act like the kid was the reason for all the misfortune, rather than themselves.

He'd seen parents tell a kid to wait in a spot and then leave, never to come back. Some children would wander off searching for their guardians, others would sit and wait until they starved.

He also saw good, however. He's seen laughter and supportiveness. He saw parents and children share unconditional love. He did not know what it felt like, but it looked pure. It looked nice.

But for a hunter of beasts, humans or monsters, love was a glaring weakness. It was not something he had ever learned to do. It was easier to just focus on his work and push everyone away than try to learn something new.

He thought he would never change.

The feeling of his mother's touch was overwhelming, and before he knew it, tears were streaming down his face. He couldn't quite explain why he was crying, but he couldn't seem to stop either.

He felt his mother's gentle hands rocking him back and forth, soothing him with a lullaby. He could feel the warmth of her embrace and the softness of her touch.

"Hey, are you being too rough with little Lu?" a gentle male voice asked teasingly. It was his father. He couldn't see him, but he just knew who it was.

"He hadn't cried in a while," the angelic voice of his mother explained, "usually he cries every hour. I thought maybe he died, but behold… listen to the lungs he got from you."

"My lungs? That loud screaming is all you, Rey! You can fool others with that cool act, babe, but not me."

"Sure sure, but the way he screams so often reeks of you, John."

Wait. He cried? Often? That was unlike him. Not that he knew how he acted as a baby in his previous lives, but he didn't remember crying more than a handful of times in four different lifetimes.

The two of them went back and forth teasing each other, and he kept looking between them. He never had a partner to banter with, so watching what seemed like a healthy couple was new to him.

He liked it.

"Lucian finally calmed down," Rey, who he guessed was his mother now, commented with a smile. "He seems more relaxed the past few days than he usually is."

"Let's just thank the gods and not question it. Wait, Rey." There was a dramatic pause. "Lucian is the one who is always crying and Eleanor is the one who’s always quiet. What if Ellie starts crying now because Lulu is quiet!?" John, or his father, asked worryingly.

"John, you're tempting fate. So just shut the hell up and go make dinner."

John put his hands up in surrender and chuckled. "Okay okay okay, I got it. Extra pepper and extra chili, yeah?"

Rey’s eyes narrowed and her nose twitched. She seemed dangerous and he glanced at his father concerningly.

His father quickly ran out of the room, his footsteps dramatically thudding as he got away.

He looked back at his mother and saw an amused expression on her face. She caught his gaze and tenderly kissed the top of his head.

This was a nice change of pace.

__________

More than a year had passed since the beginning of his fifth life and Lucian was certain about something. He believed that Eleanor, his sister, may not actually be his sister.

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He was certain that she was reincarnated.

Would that even make her his sister? He wondered, before realizing that he, too, was a reincarnator and that his logic also applied to himself.

Anyways, he had a lot of evidence to back up the claim that Eleanor had a life before.

First of all, she was not careful. Their cribs were now beds and they were not even three meters apart from each other. Eleanor thought that her brother didn’t notice, but he had learned to feel and observe the world without his sight in his first life. It took a little concentration, but he could sense the weird things that went on at night while appearing like he was sleeping.

Lucian could never forget the first time he opened his eyes. The glowing blue gray light that engulfed Eleanor for what felt like hours before she reabsorbed it into her body. That wasn’t normal, or at least not something their parents or Lucian ever did.

Eleanor continued to channel her strange magical energy every night without fail. As soon as she assumed he was asleep she would light up and continue her process deep into the night.

Also, she was scarily aware. Lucian genuinely thought that if their parents were not blinded by love for their daughter, they would find it weird that she never cries. She wouldn’t even smile or laugh. She was emotionless to the point where Lucian found it unnerving. But behind that stoic facade, he could sense a steely determination, as if she had a purpose far beyond her young years.

At dinner, they sat in highchairs across from each other. It was terrifying! Eleanor just stared with her dark, emotionless eyes at her food then at Lucian then at whatever the heck she was looking at. Sometimes she would just stare into empty space like she was reading something. Her gaze was intense, and Lucian couldn't help but feel like there was a hidden depth to her, a vast sea of knowledge and experience that was unbefitting of her young age.

Their dad had short, straight brown hair and dark eyes. Their mom had dark blond hair with green eyes. Lucian was a combo of the both of them with dark brown hair and green eyes.

Eleanor had black hair and super dark eyes. It didn’t even make sense, but apparently they were twins so there’s no mistaking that they were siblings. Her exotic features only seemed to add to her mysterious nature.

She tried to hide her intelligence unbefitting of a three-year-old, but she was not great at it. Lucian admitted that he was probably biased since he, himself, was pretty good at it. Eleanor rarely wanted to play any games, but when coerced to by their parents she often displayed an uncanny intuition and adaptability, as if she'd encountered various situations before.

Their parents just sucked at noticing. They probably thought that two highly aware and focused three-year-olds were normal. Lucian was the more childish one. Not because he was more childish, he thought, but in comparison to someone like Eleanor even an adult would seem kidlike. He was just going with the flow.

Lucian had a home and he had food. Usually, he would have to spend many years trying to find safety, but he started this life with all the necessities. It was amazing to actually not worry every night.

He had plenty of time to think about what he wanted long term in this life.

He decided that this was going to be his life of relaxation. He spent two lives fighting mindlessly and the other two lives learning how to be mindful just to fight again. This time it was different. He was different.

There was no desire to fight anymore. It hurts, it always hurts. The physical pain has dulled over the lifetimes, but mentally he felt such heavy dissatisfaction at the thought of killing just for the sake of killing.

Lucian wanted hobbies. He wanted to do trivial, fun things. Read fiction novels, go on relaxing walks, or maybe even just sleep in every day. The idea of just relaxing, making a decent living and chilling with his family was his goal for this life.

Eleanor was a major red flag in Lucian's plan. She sat, legs crossed in the lotus position, and meditated with magic every night. It seeped into her pores and made her hair fly around, and that was normal for her.

What was she even preparing for?

For a little while, Lucian thought maybe he was the one who wasn’t normal. So he asked his Dad a few weeks ago about what magic was and if he should be using it.

John had quickly reassured Lucian that he did not need to rush, or even learn, magic until he was ready. It wasn’t even something that kids his age could handle. It was more of a teenager endeavor.

So what was Eleanor's deal? She was the same age as him, give or take a minute or so, and she was pumping out magic energy like a machine.

The whole idea that she wasn’t a reincarnated soul and was just some super genius didn’t seem right to him. His theory was that she got killed in her last life and now wants to be stronger.

She was too smart. Lucian wasn’t convinced that Eleanor was smarter than he was, but she was definitely sharp.

The fact she was trying so hard to hide her robust magic power was concerning. Usually big secrets like that were often followed by even bigger plans. He did not have big plans, it was actually quite the opposite.

What really worried Lucian was how far would Eleanor go to keep her secret.

He found out way quicker than he expected.