Matt got to his feet, stretching. “Hey, I’m gonna go get a chocolate bar or something. Want anything?”

“Nah,” Jill said, barely glancing up from her computer. 

“Root beer,” Sam said, rummaging in his desk for change. He found a dollar fifty in quarters and handed them to Matt. “Thanks.”

“No worries,” Matt said, walking to the stairs. 

Sam and Jill worked in silence for a few minutes. Eventually Matt came back, chewing on a candy bar. He handed Sam the six quarters. 

“No root beer?” Sam guessed. 

Matt shrugged. “No vending machine.”

That made Jill look up. “What do you mean, no vending machine?”

He shrugged. “It’s gone. Looks like some kids stole it.”

“This I have to see,” Sam said, getting up. 

Together they went down the three flights of stairs to the garage level. Where the soda machine usually resided was a conspicuously vacant area, with “I HAZ TEH SODA, SUCKERS!!!!” written in green spray-paint on the wall. 

“Hmmmmmm,” Sam said, rubbing his chin. 

“Yeah, it’s been stolen,” Jill said. “Do we report it to the police, or building management?”

“Neither!” Sam declared, straightening up. 

“Oh no.”

“What we shall do is discover the identity of the soda machine thieves, and return it to its proper place! We shall be hailed as heroes!”

“How do you know it was more than one kid?” Matt asked, amused. 

“I’ll call the building management,” Jill grumbled, pulling out her phone. 

“No need!” Sam said, putting a hand out to stop her. “It will be a simple matter! I know there were at least two ruffians involved, for the machine is much too heavy for one man to move.”

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“Why do you suddenly have a British accent?” Jill asked. 

Matt grinned. “How do you know how heavy it is?”

“It jammed on me once,” Sam shrugged, breaking character. He resumed it. “First what we must do is determine the time of the abduction!”

“Which building management could do easily, because there are cameras here,” Jill pointed out. 

Sam ignored her. “We know that it was here this morning, when we got into work, correct?” 

“Right,” Matt said. 

“And it was here at ten-ish, when you came down to retrieve that file from your car, correct?” he asked Jill. 

“Maybe? I didn’t notice it either way.”

“Aha! Then it must have been here! You would have noticed its absence, I am sure!”

Matt saw something in the garage and wandered off. 

“Good for you. Can I call building ma-“

“That leaves a mere five-hour window. We can narrow it down to two hours, as we know that people come down here from noon to one to get things on their lunch breaks, and no one reported it missing.”

“Maybe they did see it missing, but instead of reporting it they’re now wandering around the city looking for it,” Jill said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. 

“Doubtful!”

“You can say that again.”

“Our first move will be to check the ground for scrape marks,” Sam said. He dropped to his knees and stared intently at the concrete. 

Matt came back. He showed something to Jill. 

She sighed in annoyance. “For the love of-“

“There are no scrape marks!” Sam declared. “This leads us to believe that they came prepared! They must have brought-“

“They must have brought an orange dolly, the cheapest of dollies sold at Home Depot,” Matt said. 

Sam looked at him suspiciously. “How do you know it was orange?”

“He-“

“Why would thieves buy an expensive dolly?” Matt asked. “Anyway, they then carted the vending machine over to their Ford pickup, and spent a good couple of minutes trying to haul it into the bed. After that they packed up the dolly, hopped in, and drove off.”

“How do you know all this?” Sam asked. 

“He has a picture of them!” Jill snapped. 

Matt laughed, showing the picture of two teenaged boys dragging a soda machine into the back of a truck. The picture was grainy, but the license plate was clearly visible. 

“That’s cheating,” Sam muttered. 

“Now can I call someone?” Jill demanded. 

“Fine,” Sam said, trudging back to the stairs. He stopped as Jill pulled out her phone and grinned at her again. “Ah, but my friend, you are forgetting something vital!”

“What am I forgetting?” Jill asked, dialing. 

“There’s no service down here.”