I pull out my diary. “Lani Mercallahs.” I write on the cover
My eyes dart around my room. I put my tribal belt down. I had added a new section for Maur and Nahlia. I put on two stones I tumbled from at an artisan's tent in the city. A little over a week had already passed and I was worried the pilot was getting closer. I had to get my dreamer ready and I was still afraid of entering my picture to The Far Away Dream. I couldn't convince Maur to go into my picture with me. He said he would just be dead weight and blind. I didn't want to face the glowing creations alone.
I scribble some more.
“I never knew my life like now. The struggle ahead of me bleeds with my deepest fears. I used to fight off the pain, but now I embrace it. My past has left me like blood from the nose – the metallic taste letting me know I’m still alive.”
Toah and I had gotten in another fight in the city. He punched me in the nose and I struck him with the back end of my knife. We both were getting restless. Most of the swarms were kept separate from each other and everyone wanted to spend their money in Capara.
The high priest made sure only some of the flying killers entered the city at a time. He didn't want any fights to burn out of control. It added to the stress. My loot was in Maur's mesa and Toah was jealous he wasn't allowed inside. I was happy Maur kept us separated.
“Mmm...There's nothing left to write, today”
My diary was almost finished. I was running out of time and I would have to finish everything soon. I didn't know who I would give it to if I died when the pilot came. There might not even be anyone to give it to.
I stop and feel chills. My tempest had found my room. I close my eyes and stare at my foggy breath. The silver liquid falls down my cheeks. My invisible guardian speaks to me.
“Blessings from Lam Lathi,”
“No! I'm not ready to fight the pilot.”
“Then don't. We will perish with our suffering. All or nothing,” my tempest states.
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I felt bad. I didn't expect the tempest to give up with me. Sometimes I thought others would fight, when I didn't have the strength. I never thought others were just a broken as me, ready to surrender. Tomorrow was going to be the last day, before the competition. I wanted Maur to be crowned king, but more than anything, I didn't want to lose another friend. The thought saddened me and made me angry. I didn't have time to argue with my tempest.
“Get out of me!,” I cry out.
“So be it, Lani,” whispers my tempest. “I will be with you either way.”
I gasp and wipe the silver liquid in my eyes. I didn't know if I could bring back Atjani and Alana. It was easy to be brave, when you had time to imagine an outcome. Once you arrived there, things never felt like you thought they would.
“I wish Atjani was here to talk to. I miss making each other angry.”
My surviving people were counting on me and my dreamer. All of Lam Lathi was. My anxiety grows in the room and my tempest vanishes out the door. I didn't know why he was leaving me so peacefully today. I argued all week with him and he seemed to mourn with me. He was more persistent than I was. It was how Lam Lathi trained them.
Tomorrow, I decided I was going to fly Nahlia to the Neandelerian area near the city. It would cheer her up. We went to the religious complex earlier to find Tayt and they wouldn't let us in. Maur never went with us, or got his bodyguards to come along. He didn't trust the high priest and thought he was planning something dirty. His bodyguards didn't want to help either. They just wanted to spend their loot without dying beforehand. Everyone knew the high priest favored Luer.
“Mmm....”
My frustration grows. I felt like there was weight placed on my shoulders. It was more than the armor I wore when flying. I already had a new friend, Nahlia. I didn't want to worry about old ones too. Atjani and Alana would have to wait. It bothered my heart for a while. I needed a warm drink.
“Why does this bother me now....”
Nahlia and I were talking a lot. I enjoyed her company. She helped me feel better about Cepertine, and told me all her horror stories. Nahlia wasn't happy Lam Lathi invaded, but she said her people had it coming for them. They tried to dominate the Ryoken tribes. I could tell she had mixed feelings. I still didn't like what Lam Lathi did to Cepertine. Nahlia and I could relate from our experiences. She even recognized me. I helped Tayt and her stay together. This was the second time I was helping. It made us both smile.
My eyes dart to my doorway again. I run up the door and close it. I thought about Atjani. Seeing Alana in the memory only made me miss my messenger days. I wanted to smell the incense again and reach out and heat my fingertips. When the time came, I would have to save them.
“They all need my help....”
I start to pull the blankets over me, but I don't get to fall asleep. Nahlia enters my room and just invites herself in. I hear her quietly shut the door.
“Hey there, Lani.”