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Christmas Special 2023

Chapter ???

Red Sands Desert, Principality of Rebirth

Dungeon Factory, Workshop

"You want to deliver presents…to the town itself?" Asked Alexandra in disbelief as she stared at her daughter.

"Yeah!" Said CQ, nodding enthusiastically. "I like it outside! Plus, the only people that come by are adventurers and most of them try to fight me if they think they can win. I wanna give gifts, not fight!"

Alexandra exchanged a look with Emilia, with her best 'honey please help' eyes.

"Look, CQ…" Said the vampire advisor as she stepped forward. "The town is on edge right now, they may attack you regardless. Besides which, how would you even deliver the presents? The town isn't built for vehicles, it's mostly pedestrian roads outside of the main boulevards and the industrial districts. Even moving your mom's tanks through is a massive hurdle that requires a lot of traffic control."

"Oh…" CQ visibly drooped, and Alexandra felt her heart tighten. "I'm sorry, I didn't…I'll just be in the dungeon then, sorry to bother you…"

CQ turned to leave, and the Earth-born's heart -and sense of caution- shattered into a million, microscopic pieces.

"Wait!" She called out, and the boss stopped. "I might have an idea."

"You do?" Said CQ and Emilia, almost simultaneously.

"It's going to require all hands on deck for it to work, but yes. Seraph!" She called out, both physically and mentally, and one of the golems booted up in the corner of the workshop.

"Yes milady?" Said the AI.

"Get everyone together now! We're making my daughter a sleigh! On the triple!" Alexandra smiled at CQ. "Let's make this an occasion the town will remember for a long, looong time."

*****

"She wants to what?" Said Allya, frozen with a bite of pancake halfway to her mouth, the pastry slowly dripping with honey.

"She said she wished to have her boss distribute presents to the town." Answered Anders.

"The t-She wants to send her boss. Not herself, her boss, into the streets, to distribute presents?"

"Yes."

Allya took a deep breath, finally brought the bit of pancake into her mouth, before setting down her fork and putting her head into her hands.

"Oh sweet Gods. This is going to be a mess."

"Why?" Pyn took a bite out of her own meal, which had once resembled sausages, bacon and eggs before she'd started digging in. "People know the boss. It should be fine, right?"

"No. No it won't be." Answered the baroness. "Because we're going to need to do an announcement, a rushed one, that won't get to everybody…and half of the adventurers are completely drunk, the other half is either asleep or nursing a hangover. If they see the boss kick down the door to hand over presents, how do you think they'll react?"

"Oh. Right. That would suck. How is she even going to bring in the presents anyway?"

"Via a, ah." Anders cleared his throat. "A flying sleigh, milady."

This time Allya didn't freeze with her pancake bite halfway to her mouth, she straight up dropped the fork.

"She has a flying sleigh?!?"

*****

Alexandra smiled as she crossed her arms, admiring the sleigh.

It wasn't exactly her slickest creation, and calling it a 'sleigh' was a bit of a misnommer, since the thing was self propelled and closer to the size of a truck, but still.

Actually…it wasn't that far from a shuttle. A short ranged, hideously expensive shuttle, but a shuttle nonetheless. Mmmmhhhh…a thought for later.

Regardless, repurposing the escape pod Seraph had been busy tinkering away on had worked like a charm. They'd foregone the stealth coating, obviously, as well as a host of other options, and she really wouldn't want to try and keep it operational for a while, but it only needed to last until the end of the day, or tomorrow morning at worst.

"Well, it ain't the prettiest, but it'll d-Ack!" Alexandra yelped as something impacted her with the strength of a cannonball, and she she spun around, finding herself face to face with CQ, her daughter looking up at her with stars in her eyes as she hugged her mother.

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"Best.Mom.EVER!" Shouted the boss as she hugged Alexandra and squeezed her.

The Earth-born smiled, and patted her daughter on the head.

"Thank you kiddo. Though don't discount your mommy's efforts too! Without her, it wouldn't have been possible. Nor looked as good, honestly."

"Sure! Thank you mommy!" Said CQ, letting go of Alexandra, and catapulting herself towards Emilia, who stumbled back, only kept upright with her maids' help.

"It's my pleasure, CQ." Emilia hugged her daughter back. "Now, care to give it a spin?"

"Sure!" The boss teleported aboard the sleigh, but froze as the maids moved to accompany her. "Uh…I wanna be santa."

"They're going to help you!" Said Emilia.

CQ looked at the maids, and Alexandra had to stiffle a snicker.

Oooooh she knew that expression. And she had expected it.

CQ was entering her rebellious 'I can do it on my own!' teen phase.

The Earth-born stepped back, and prepared to watch the fireworks.

*****

"Alright, are we all-" The paladin, Pyris, glared at Sonya and Ellyris, her party's sorceress and ranger respectively, who she rather doubted had been paying much attention to the briefing, if she guessed correctly on what she'd heard. "-clear on the mission?"

Everyone nodded, though Arinka, their fighter, looked distinctly sluggish. Consequence of challenging Artok to a drinking contest last night. Seriously, even with several ranks in difference, who was insane enough to challenge a dwarf, and the leader of the assault guild no less, in a drinking contest?

Pyris sighed.

"Alright. Just to recap, we, team Crystalline, have been given the quest to make sure the dungeon boss' little excursion gets on without a hitch. There's enough friction between the town and the dungeon, not to mention the guild, that we can ill afford more, especially not with all those automata bearing down on us, understood?" Everyone nodded. "Good. So we'll get aboard her sleigh, and give her a hand. As a side objective, we're to prevent her taking anything back to the dungeon which the guildmaster might disapprove of. But we have to be discreet about that. Once again, we don't need more friction, especially since the dungeon core has been denied salvage rights on the Old World automata."

Everyone nodded again.

"Good. Now, it shouldn't be long before-" Pyris' head snapped around like a turret locking onto a target as the nearby military entrance rumbled, and the massive blast door opened. "Well, speak of the devil." The sleigh slowly climbed the ramp, hovering a few centimeters off the ground, and the paladin flagged it down. "And it shall appear. And remember, be on your best behavior!"

Sonya just grinned in response, knowing it was directed at her, and the paladin glared until the sorceress lost her smile with a distinctly uneasy expression.

"Best.Behavior." Simply said the paladin, before moving to board the sleigh.

*****

"Heya! I'm-"

"You didn't ask for permission to come aboard."

Whatever the adventurer had expected the boss to say, this clearly wasn't it, and the paladin stumbled in surprise. CQ recognized her from the demonstration her mom had put into place a while ago. Used a whole bunch of golems -and artillery- to pummel a team of mythril ranked adventurers. Technically she'd met them a long time ago, but her mom had been posessing her body at the time.

"I'm sorry?"

"When you come aboard a ship. You ask for permission to come aboard. It's tradition!" Well, at least that's what Seraph's entertainment showed. Though mom said they were very inaccurate.

"I…" The paladin had the good grace to look ashamed, though her teammates were mostly confused. "Of course, my apologies, captain." She saluted with parade ground precision, to the boss' delight. "Pyris Wyvernbreeze, with a party of three requesting permission to come aboard!"

CQ returned the salute.

"Permission granted, paladin."

"You…know us?"

The boss nodded.

"I was there when mom kicked your butts in the testing room."

"...Oh. Right. That." The paladin gestured at her companions. "These are Sonya, Ellyris and Arinka, my teammates."

"Pleased to see you again. You're the chaperones the guild sent?" She must have made a face, because the adventurers exchanged a few glances.

"Not chaperones per se, we're, uh, simply here to prevent any accidents. It is the holidays, and many are either drunk or dealing with the aftermath of having been. That means few have their wits about them. The guildmaster would rather avoid an unfortunate battle with some of our colleagues with more vodka than good sense in their brain."

"Ah. Fair enough. Well, you certainly look suitably equipped for a combat encounter, should it come to blows." CQ pointed at the sorceress. "Except for her. She looks cold. Do you need a coat? I should have a spare for my costume."

"Nah, I'm not cold." Said the sorceress, with a cocky smile. "In fact, I'm too hot! I-" She let out her breath in what sounded like a strangled yelp, and CQ tilted her head. Had the paladin just hit her ally? Weird.

She shrugged mentally, and turned towards the sleigh's controls, poking hopefully at them.

"Well, your clothing is indeed optimal for heat dispersal. None would be better, but I suppose one must strike a balance." She said, trying to look not like she was copying her mom too much. It sounded like something she would say anyway. "Though when mom makes an outfit like yours, she's usually very embarassed for some reason. And mommy is very happy."

There was a quiet, but heated argument between the adventurers. CQ was only able to catch some snippets, mostly from the paladin whose angry whispers were almost audible, even for humans. Things about 'death wish' and 'entire Republic army'. Also threats to neuter the sorceress, and a tirade about birds and bees for some reason. Also they pulled out straws, and the ranger seemed to get the shortest one.

"So, uh, I don't want to order you around or anything." Finally said the ranger. "None of us do, but maybe…don't say that kind of stuff out loud? Especially in public?"

CQ stared at her, and the ranger visibly cringed, but the boss simply nodded.

"Okay." She knew about secrecy, classified data, all that, and this hadn't been among them, but then again…surface dwellers were weird. Like that other paladin with his constant puns. Besides, it wasn't like she was planning to spend much time talking to them. "Are we ready to start?"

"Yes."

"Oki! Gonna run through the checklist then." She pulled out a small notebook, quickly, ran through the -admittedly simple- set of instructions, checkmarking them meticulously, before prodding the controls.

The humming of the sleigh increased, and it began taking flight in earnest.

Time to distribute some presents!

*****

"So, had fun kiddo?" Asked Alexandra as CQ popped back into the command center, Emilia standing by her side, both of them watching their daughter with a smile.

"Yes! Lots of fun!" The boss was practically bouncing in place. "We distributed presents, fought a few guys, everything was great!"

"That's good to hear! Glad you had fun, especially on one of your first times outside the dungeon, interacting with the surface dwellers."

CQ nodded vigorously.

"Yeah! Also, got some ideas for my royal guard! I'll be back!"

The boss turned around, and her moms cleared their throats, simultaneously, and she froze.

"Forgetting something?" Said Emilia.

"...No?"

"What about that crash?"

"I didn't crash."

"Yes you did."

"No I didn't! I just…stopped flying!"

"When it's not controlled, it's called crashing."

"It was controlled! We came down where I wanted and everything!" CQ whirled around, and pointed at Alexandra, who was very obviously trying not to laugh. "And mom says 'unscheduled disassembly' when stuff goes boom!"

"And I call her out on it. Furthermore, I remember telling you, very specifically, that if anything was to happen like, say, a crash, you were to call us immediately and wait for backup."

"I…forgot?"

"No. No you didn't. You saw that robbery and you and your adventurer friends couldn't resist sticking your nose in it. You also severely damaged…" She pulled out a notebook. "Three buildings, and a cart, in the process."

"The cart was Pyris! And we won. And saved people."

Emilia looked at her for several seconds, and CQ started to sweat, one of the odd human properties she seemed to possess, before her mommy rolled her eyes.

"But…Your mom argued really hard to leniency. So we're not grounding you."

"Thank you!" The boss smiled at them, and then left before they could say anything else.

"She takes after you I see." Said Emilia, and Alexandra chuckled.

"After the both of us. Still, we should really find some stuff for her to do. Even planning her own floor, she's getting bored. And restless. She loves combat, that's why when she saw an occasion to technically not violate our condition that she didn't break the law or attack back adventurers shooting at her she pounced on it."

"I know, I know…We'll think something up. Maybe give her command of the testing units, the one you send to destroy each other?"

"Mmmhhh, perhaps." Alexandra sat up. "In any case, did you finish with her new sword?"

"Yep. Enchantments are alllll done."

"Good, Jared is almost done with the tree, and Sarah has wrapped all the other gifts. I can't wait to see her face when she opens her presents!"