Saint Ferno is filled with demons and those who crave the fun they can give them. Vampires, incubuses, doomed souls dragged here by the frenzy of desires. All woven together here in one endlessly long night of unceasing orgy.

Existence here is painful and tires many before they get to their power. I have seen such more than once, and have enjoyed their wanton lust more than once in passing. But the slip of flesh is not enough for me and I rush back to the earth, again and again, in search of souls. Such are all the Fallen. We are more greedy than those who are born incubus.

Heavenly nature fills us with a light that burns brightly even in hell. This light leaves no one indifferent. It also makes us outcasts. Wherever recklessness takes us. Alistair knew that, and he took a sweet pleasure in torturing me. I remember the greedy interest in his eyes when I first grappled with death. I gave myself to it without a second thought, as I had given myself to him and learnt his jealousy for the first time. I have belonged to both ever since.....

I know there's a mystery here. Some dark secret that Alistair hasn't told me. Something that makes him love me so obsessively. I can feel it. That deep supernatural instinct that can only spring up in the crystal blue of the heaven.

The shadow of this mystery, its slight glimmers I see in the confused twinkle in the trusting, stubborn eyes of this young boy who so selflessly allows me to torture himself. I'm mesmerised. He is not my first prey, nor will he be my last. But for some reason, it's his scent that unbearably stirs my nature. Someday I'll figure out what it is. For that, I will penetrate his soul more deeply than I have ever done before.

‘Come here,’ I say and pull him by the arm.

I can see his blond, curling hair in languid proximity. I pull his soft, shampoo and clover-scented locks apart with my fingers and press my lips to his neck. He wriggles slightly, but doesn't stop me. I unbuckle his belt with teasing slowness.

‘I'm scared, Vic,’ he confesses and blushes.

His face flushes, and I can feel my greed awakening.

‘I know,' I reply, not removing my hands. ‘I won't rush...’

He exhales in relief and rests his head on my shoulder. Yes, I won't rush today. I'll take my time so that I don't accidentally miss the secret he so riskily wants to give me. The secret of our love with Alistair.

...It was dark by the time I could find this road again. Though I'd been here many times, I was never sure it would be where it had been hiding the last time. I kept looking for it, and I kept finding it unexpectedly. And not at all where I thought I'd find it.

Why it was like that, I don't know. There must have been something that kept it hidden all the time. From those who might prevent the creation of the sky from touching its damp, almost living covering.

My hair, having lost its bandage, mussed. Somehow I enjoyed it, and I did not seek to rid myself of those intrusive touches. I only stopped liking the colour of it. I wished they were as black as Alistair's. But no matter how much I looked at them, I couldn't find a single dark hair. It was only in the dark that they seemed beautiful.

At last, the trees parted and spat me out of their womb onto the black, shimmering asphalt. It was quiet. It seemed to me that I was standing not on the road, but in the void. That I was hovering inside some grandiose sphere, where there were no once and for all measured directions. I was afraid to take a step, lest I get lost in the darkness and lose my way again.

Alistair wasn't there yet. I sat down on the pavement and waited. He remained away so long that I began to wonder if I had dreamed what had happened the night before. But then I heard the familiar sound of the engine again. A narrow silhouette emerged from the night, cutting through the gloom with the blinding light of the headlights. I was relieved to see the road surface and the gloomy forest surrounding it.

The car was coming straight at me, but I didn't leave. I liked to sit there and watch it come at me menacingly. How the road groaned in a desperate attempt to stop it. Perhaps that's when I first came close to death. And I wasn't scared. With a shriek of brakes, the car stopped heavily in front of me.

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I shielded my eyes from the piercing light of the headlights and got up. Red dots bounced before my eyes, and I didn't immediately see Alistair when I got in. He was sitting where he'd been before, looking at me intently. I waved at him and rubbed my eyes, wiping away the swollen tears.

‘You're brave, Vic,' he said in a thoughtful voice. ’Very handsome and very brave. Men like you are the bait for great dangers.’

I looked up at him. The flickering stopped, and I could finally see him. This time he was fully clothed. In tight black trousers made of stiff fabric and a long black button-down shirt. The same bracelet on his wrist and that was it. No other jewellery or anything to take my eyes off his face. Perhaps that's why I remembered it most clearly that time.

Beautiful, with high cheekbones and an exquisite curve to his eyebrows. He had very fair skin, though perhaps it was the deep blackness of his loose hair that made it seem so. How long did he live? I don't know. I couldn't determine his age. All I know is that he was older than me, but not so old that well-fed maturity distorted his features. He patiently let me flounder in the bottomless darkness of his eyes and said nothing.

‘I love you,’ I said without knowing why.

With a shudder, he grinned faintly.

‘I know,’ he replied and pulled me to him.

I eagerly snuggled myself against his shoulder and closed my eyes relaxed. He put his arm around me and helped me take off my ridiculous, sparsely fringed jacket. Tucking it under the seat, he pulled me close again, and I felt his hand on my body with excitement. The car engine rumbled softly, and his fingers slid leisurely over my skin. I was ravenous for his touch. I sensed some danger lurking here, but I couldn't give it up.

‘You're doing something to me, Alistair,' I whispered. ‘I want to moan...’

‘Moan,’ he replied, his lips touching my earlobe.

I shook my head in denial and pressed myself closer to him. It was a maddening roiling wave, a warmth that made me squirm. I didn't know then how powerful incubuses are. I felt like I could stop it at any moment. And I wasn't afraid. Meanwhile, his poison was slowly toxifying my soul.

I wished his touch wasn't so torturous. I wanted to ask him, but I didn't have the chance. At that moment, he shoved my head up, and I felt the scalding taste of his lips on my lips that weren't ready to resist. I didn't know what a kiss was and froze. Stunned that it was possible to do and feel such a thing.

He moved away slightly and looked into my eyes with intense scrutiny. Even then I could sense the insanity in his gaze. The madness that made him love me. Greedily tearing me to himself, he pulled me to his mouth again, and I felt his tongue. Hot and demanding. For several long minutes he tormented my mouth, and I trembled, terrified to accept this new caress. It was unbearable, unbearable, and terrifying!

With a shriek, I yanked my head out of his hands and pulled away. I sank into the seat next to me. My mouth was burning, and I could feel my lips filling with blood. They swelled painfully, and I couldn't close them. I felt as if I had forgotten how to do it. So I covered them with the palm of my hand in desperation.

Alistair was looking at me with mad burning eyes and breathing heavily. I could see him struggling with himself. I know I was one step away from falling even then. But Alistair was afraid. He wanted me and he was afraid of me and to this day I can't understand why....

‘I'm sorry I scared you,’ he said, finally pulling himself together.

I nodded slowly and turned away, unable to bear his gaze any longer.

‘Would you like some wine?’ he asked.

‘No,’ I answered with my disobedient lips.

They seemed to have a life of their own and didn't want to obey me. It frightened me.

‘I have to go,’ I said, and reached for the brass knob tucked safely into the scarlet upholstery of the door.

‘Wait,’ he stopped me. ’I have something for you.

He reached under the seat and got a jacket. It wasn't my jacket. It was a hard black one, with silver ribbons of zip and a silk lining as red as my lips. It was a really beautiful thing. The most beautiful thing I had ever seen before. I looked at it avidly.

‘Would you take it?’ Alistair asked with uncertainty. ‘It will fit you better. And it's warmer.’

My hands, against my will, reached for the gift. I felt as if my body didn't belong to me anymore. Alistair helped me put on the jacket and smiled when he saw my genuine delight.

‘Do you like it?’ he asked.

‘And I want hair like yours,’ I said, touching the black strands of his hair with sudden boldness.

Alistair pulled away warily and smiled.

‘I like your colour,’ he said. ’It looks like weeping flax and smells of wind.....’

‘I want it like yours,' I repeated stubbornly. ’Can you make it for me?’

‘Maybe,’ he said evasively, ’but there's no need to hurry. You're already beautiful. Too beautiful,’ he kissed my temple. ’I'll come get you tomorrow.’

‘Promise?’

‘Yes.’

I shifted away from him and got out of the car without looking at him again. I felt like he wanted to call out to me, but I didn't turn round. My lips were still burning, and even the dampness and cold of the night couldn't douse that dark heat. Covering them my hand, I went deeper into the whispering curtain of trees. When Alistair left, I don't know....

It was the second time I'd seen him, and it shook me even more. His jacket stayed with me as a memory of his touches. Soft and, at the same time, hard, it worried me dangerously. I still wear it and know that there will be no thing more beautiful or vicious in my life than this gift of Alistair's....