It started with a small bug or that's what I remembered. It was short but a very fulfilling life, never in my life again would I ever feel that a week would be so long.
In my second life I was a fish that feeds on insects. This life was longer than my previous life, but it also made me experience being killed. The one to kill me walked on two legs were large and had fur covering their head and some other parts of the body.
My third life was that of intelligent creatures which are bipedal underwater and quadrupeds on surface. Our head were covered by tentacles and claws sharp enough to chop trees. We lived as tribe under the rivers that were close to forest. We build curved tunnel-like underground structure with air pockets for the newborn. As the newborn can't breathe underwater they spend a majority of their time in the structure. Our species gave birth asexually so there was no concept of gender. But, according to your affinity gender were assigned. This life made me feel the pride of being a parent. My child though, was smaller than other newborns was the most energetic. According to chief she had the affinity to become a water Elf. Water Elf were a sub species of Elf and High Elf but, it was still a higher species of us Merlock. And if enough records were collected she could even become a half Elf.
I FELT PROUD, SO PROUD AND HAPPY THAT MY DAUGHTER COULD BECOME A HIGHER SPECIES A SPECIES BETTER THAN US.
Yes, she could have become a higher species. If, only those bipedal being from my previous life didn't attack us.
They were similar to Elf but had round ears and were ugly, in other words they were humans.
While fighting to protect my child I was killed by the hands of a human. I realized how short a life could be, though I learned the pride of being a parent, I also felt the bitter sadness and regret of seeing my child death. But, the most intense of them all was the feelings of despise. I despised them.
THE HUMANS WHO ATTACKED US,
THE MAN WHO KILLED ME,
THE MAN WHO KILLED MY DAUGHTER,
ALL OF THEM, I DESPISED THEM ALL.
WITH THE VOW TO KILL THEM ALL I ETCHED THEIR FACES IN MY MEMORY.
I spend my 4th, 5th, 6th, ........., and 16th rebirth killing all the people responsible for the attack at my tribe and people related to them. Whether it was a close friend, relative, family, enemy, children every one connected to the death of my daughter was killed, wiping out their entire bloodline till no one to remember them was left.
Those rebirths were the most lonely rebirth. Even though, since the 3rd rebirth I have been reincarnated into species with higher intellect similar to humans, I, never formed a true bond with anyone. After feeling the pain of losing someone I didn't want to experience it again.
In my 17th life I was reborn in the 'Wolf Tribe' of the anthròpotherian species 'Puca' or that's what humans called them.
Puca starts as a lower species each lower species unique to different tribe, slowly rising in ranks by collecting records until we can transform into demi-human called beast man.
My mother was the leader of this tribe, both caring and strict. When she was taking the role of a mother she was more caring than strict. But when she played the role of a leader she was the strictest leader easily among all the leaders who came before her, though it has not been that long since I was reborn ed again I was still fond of her.
But yet again humans attacked the village of our tribe. I came to an understanding through my rebirths that humans are monster, monsters driven by greed to kill, to betray and to attack others. So much so that they don't even care about their own species.
I was the last to survive. Surviving due to my small build of a pup. But, it was only to extend the inevitable. I was wounded badly if not by being killed I would die again due to heavy blood loss and continue this heinous cycle of life and death, or, so I had thought.
Before I lost my consciousness I saw a human, though smaller than the one attacking our village the one in front of me was unmistakably a human with a weird red hood covering the face.
'So that's how it is. Again dying by the hands of a hu.....'
Before I realized I was already unconscious.
In my dream I felt warm just like how most of my rebirths have been. Starting from the warmth of the womb to the painful birth process.
But, something felt different, a hand was softly brushing my head. From my senses I could feel that the heart of the person brushing my head was full of warmth and care.
'Just like my mother from my 17th rebirth.'
Few days later when I could move and see again I found myself in a small cottage.
“Ah, ob udzilés sie.”
I heard a high pitch voice coming from behind me. I turned around and saw a small built human with weird red hood.
'Isn't she the human I saw before I fell unconscious.'
I looked around checking my body to find it all parched up.
'This human........... Did she help me? Why?'
She suddenly started to come closer to me, I was scared and took a step back. In the end she was the faster one. She looked at my wounds and patted my head showing her teeth.
“Teraz, teraz, nie ruszaj sie za bardzo.”
Though I didn't know her language, her body language told me what she meant.
*Stay still or you will die.*
'Huh! Die? What does she think of me.'
(A cute animal probably.)
(Writer: she actually meant stay still so that the wounds doesn't open again.)
“Grrrrrrrrrr!!!!” I growled at her in the most intimidating way but, she just kept showing her teeth.
It started to scare me, so I tried to take a step back but all my strength was gone, immediately collapsing on the ground and slowly losing my consciousness.
The human looked flustered and scared. I blacked out.
When I woke up she was taking care of my wounds and bandages.
'Feels weird.'
What I knew about humans was indeed true, they were selfish and greedy being but, ...
Then.....then how? How can those greedy and selfish being had such warm and loving care to them.
I was confused, disgusted and doubtful, why was she helping me? The human I knew can kill their own kin to save their kin, so why? Or did I ever tried to learn more about the human?
Soon those questions were left behind. Ironically the sense of happiness I lost due to humans was reawakened by another human. Her name was Raphi (Peace).
She didn't treat me like a pet but like a companion, her family. If only her brother was also as truthful to his feelings like his sister. Heriam (devoted to God)the elder brother of Raphi would act all tough in front of his sister saying stuff like “Cute things are for kids.”
But he sure did love playing with me when no one is around. He talked with me about various things. Like how the red hood Raphi wore was from their grandmother was being helped by a wolf who could turn into a human but, the man wolf failed in the end or that how Raphi always used to sneak out into the forest saying that she will find the legendary wolf tribe of 'Puca'. How her favorite food is apple pork pie which according to his is absolutely disgusting. How he wanted to leave this small village, Kakiri (green). Wanting to settle in the capital of The Fallen Eden, Ekaref (to line or draw well) also called the City of Depictions.
It's weird how he mostly talked about his sister but, I suppose that's how brothers are.
Like that 15 years had passed, Heriam now entering his mid-thirties and Raphi just celebrated her 22nd birthday.
Heriam already married at the age of 25 had twins. Now around the age of 14.
According to the Priest of our village, the twin have high affinity for being a Priest as they both have strong soul Priest were a luxury job for commoners like Heriam as the cost of education was high. But as long as the candidate was promising the fees could be reduced or even be free of cost.
According to the book Raphi read me, Elanor and Abdiel (the twins, Elanor=sun and Abdiel=dark moon).
At the beginning humans used to have immortality, living happily in Heaven more precisely 'Eden The Land', the lowest Heaven. Being immortal they didn't age nor got killed by normal means. But, as time passed they grew ambitious and arrogant. They wanted more, so they attacked 'Zamari The Mountain', the middle Heaven where Angels resided.
Trying to complete the ritual of Eclipse, so they could become similar to God. The ritual required for them to eat both the Forbidden fruit and the Symbolic fruit.
The Forbidden fruit would give them immense wisdom and knowledge in exchange for their morality or getting their view on good and evil distorted and their immortality stripped away but the Symbolic fruit would return their immortality.
In the end they failed, only able to acquire the Forbidden fruit. Losing both their immortality and the right to live in Heaven.
That's the day when Eden The Land fell from Heaven and was renamed, The Fallen Eden.
This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.
Since making contact with Heaven was now impossible for normal human. Priest thus became a luxury job, since only they had the right and ability to deliver Heaven's will and could easily be of a higher status than nobles, even The King has to pay respect to the middle rank Priest and above.
Due to this reason Heriam seemed overjoyed. Well even if they couldn't become a complete Priest, even Priest in training have the same status as the highest of the lower rank nobles.
Suddenly I felt someone watching me from above I looked up at the sky but nothing was there ' Could it be The Great Eye.'
I wondered for a bit then abandoned the thought. Come to think of it I am already an adult and have collected enough records, so why I still can't transform into demi-human.
' I wanted to surprise Raphi.'
I was drifting in my thoughts Heriam was packing stuff.
'Well he needs to give his children better education after all, so like he said to me years ago he is going to settle at the capital of The Fallen Eden, Ekaref.'
PAT.
I felt two pairs of hand hugging me. They were the little twins.
(Actually I am just too big.)
“ Dad I don't want to leave Kukiri village, I want to live here with Raphriam.”
Yeah, Raphriam is my name. It is the mixture of Raphi meaning peace and Heriam meaning devoted to God. My name on the other hand means To Praise, To Worship, To Fear.
“Elanor don't be like that aren't you wanting to learn arts. Ekaref is also known as The City Of Depictions.”
“What about me, I only like the forest.”
“Not this again Abdiel.”
'Must be tough raising children at this age. Well, I like these children. In fact, they remind me of my daughter. She ....... Didn't even go through a naming ceremony.'
Like that without me realizing 5 more years passed. The children were doing well in the capital and Raphi was now a mother of a handsome baby boy named, Ewan. His father passed away when he was just born. Being a tough woman Raphi somehow managed to recover from the shock but could not do heavy work anymore. This their income and supply of food was cut off. So to help her in this situation I started hunting animals.
Our life was going peacefully again but, humans had to ruin it again.
One day returning from my hunt it saw our house being burned down by the villagers.
"Kill her and her child, she is a Baldm witch. The source of all our miseries."
"She killed her husband to acquire more power from the devil. BURN HER TO ASHES!!!"
"She is the reason for the drought in our village. We must burn her down."
WHY?WHY?WHY?WHYWASTHISHAPPENING?
What was going on with the villagers. Some accusing her of being a witch while some of her killing her husband and the Priest from the rear was instigating them.
I rushed towards the burning house to save Raphi and Ewan.
"It's the Baldm witch's familiar. KILL IT!!"
I didn't care about any of them, after killing some villager the mob stopped chasing me. I wanted to save my family.
When I reached there I was late. Raphi was bleeding severely with burn marks all over his body, it was already too late for her considering she was a normal human. Ewan who was unconscious in her arms looked fine.
She raised her head and looked towards me smiling, smiling like everything was fine, like this is just a bad dream and when I wake up she would be there smiling like always. She was still wearing her red hood though now it was tattered on the edges. Raphi smiled and asked.
"Why..are you crying? Don't worry I am fine. Just take Ewan and run away from here."
She was not ok.... She was dying and no Priest could or would help her. I silently walked towards her. The records I have collected were crying and burning themselves up bringing a change in my body.
It first started with my front paw then my face, soon it occurred in my whole body. I was being recreated into a higher species. I realized why I couldn't turn into a demi-human up until now, I never felt that much hatred towards someone after losing someone dear to me after my 3rd rebirth, never felt the need to kill somebody to help or save someone, but now when I realized whom that someone was, it was already too late.
Opening my mouth slowly to imitate how humans speak for the first time I talked with Raphi in actuality. My words were genuine thanks for helping me and treating me like a family and I ended my talk with a wishful sentence knowing it would not be true.
"Raphi I am sure you will be alright so....." It was hard to continue speaking " So please don't die Raphi."
She just kept on smiling and joked. "You know how the man wolf was not able to save my grandmother, maybe this was my fate so help Ewan get out of this mess. I have lived my life to the fullest so, now I want to give up this life for my son. My only regret is not being able to see my son grow and ........not being able to talk with you some more."
I swallowed back all the words I wanted to say after hearing her words. But, her feeling that I could sense we too dark to comprehend, too sad to understand, too regretful to experience and the wish for wanting to live a longer life.
'She doesn't want to die.'
"You don't want to die."
Though I expressed her inner feelings even she knew that it was a miracle that she could even speak. I took Ewan from her arms and stared to leave, I stopped and proclaimed without looking back.
"I will surely take revenge on the person who caused this, I promise."
"I'd rather prefer you live your life peacefully."
I couldn't see her expression, but I am sure she must be making a smile. But her emotions were telling me something different, she wanted to take revenge but did not ask me as it was dangerous.
I left. After walking some distance inside the forest the heavy emotions coming out of Raphi came to a halt.
SHE DIED.
I fell on my knees while holding the unconscious Ewan. I couldn't control my emotions but, I couldn't express it either. After leaving Ewan in a safe space that I made few months ago for the temporary storage of hunted animals I went towards the direction of the burned down house.
The dead bodies of people who tried to kill me were taken away a while ago. I reached near the body of Raphi and devoured her flesh.
The wolf tribe once they become a demi-human could access the memory of the dead individual we consumed. Though it was mainly used for passing down information that should not be recorded this method could also be used for investigation.
*********
After Raphriam left and my death was around the corner I wanted to embrace death peacefully but, life was not a fairy tale. I wanted to talk with him some more, I wanted to see my son grow up, I wanted to give the Priest who frame me to have the most horrific death...........how much I wanted to live with my family.
"A-ah I don't want to die." Those words took a lot of my energy to say out loud.
'Why did this happened to me I just rejected that fucking pig of a Priest. Why?! Why was it me?! Please, I want to live........ I want to live with my family. I don't want to .........'
*********
" Bleghhh argh ah-ah-ha ha ha"
Her last memories were to concentrated oh her dark emotions for me to endure, it was too painful for her to not do anything wrong but still being persecuted.
"Raphi, that Priest will die the most horrific death. I promise."
That's how I got my first names record ' The Value Of Life Before Death.'
The next day the dead bodies of the Priest and his people who helped him were found in their house.
Their skin completely peeled off, with chili powder and salt sprinkled on their body. All of their teeth and fingers were cut off and the genitals of the Priest was grounded to paste. His face without his skin showed a horrified expression. According to the doctor his ultimate cause of death was high rush of adrenaline causing heart attack.
The walls of their room had the same message written on them.
“ I will be praised for I do not discriminate.
I will be worshiped for I can be anywhere but cannot be found.
I will be feared for I return evil with evil and good with good.
Bow, for you are mortals who pretend to be a god in front of a God."
The news of God descend and punishing of the Priest and his people for false accusations of Raphi being a witch spread like wildfire.
Their dead bodies never got a funeral and were left hanging outside to rot and be gnawed by crows.
' Using the high and mighty tone of a God was effective.'
I then left the village with Ewan on a journey. He is a real talent for sword but, for some reason he chose spear. The record ' The Value Of Life Before Death' created by my life story, after fully absorbing I managed to recreate myself into an even higher species of beast man called Little Giant.
Competitively they were one of the strongest half-blooded species but, they had a life span of a normal human. I also obtained an unknown prophecy while being recreated.
Ewan became the greatest noble of The Fallen Eden and the right-hand man of the King. I wish she was alive to see all of her son's achievement.
I died naturally at the age of 77. This might be a happy ending to this life. This might be my last rebirth, or, so I had wished for.
But the cycle kept going on and On And ON AND ON AND ON AND ON.
Till my 2000th rebirth I somehow managed. Sometime born as a present, soldier, farmer, musician, Noble, descendant of Ewan the Great, Prince of Evil, I lived every life possible but after 118,980 years after my rebirth, on my 2001st rebirth I gave up all my memory. I was tired, tired of this life, tired of this gaze following me at my every rebirth, tired.........tired............tired.
My parents of this rebirth were archaeologist.
Surprisingly my name for this rebirth was Raphriam. And something that never happened in this land since the fall of Eden occurred. The descent of an Angel.
I also witness the Angel's descent. I-I d-don't know how to describe it, that being been so beautiful yet so hideous, so young yet so old, human like but not so human. That being could not be expressed in words but, if you ask me how I would describe it I would say ' It was full of contradictory essence, full of chaos.'
The Angel, at whom whoever looked would become crazy and lose control, looked at my direction and gave an expression that seemed to be a wide smile. It was a smile of joy, a smile of pity but above all it was a smile of mockery. And then something flooded my mind, an unknown memory of a past long forgotten by all humans.
*********
A man wearing white robe made for the Saints with a halo of fire behind him, holding The Sword Of Perpetual Flame was standing above me. He had a face so beautiful and brilliant that it felt like I was looking at the brightest moon, a voice so sweet that it gave the illusion of savoring the world's best honey, his eyes were cold yet fierce like they were forged from starlight.
His voice but was anything but warm. " Eternal is your life not as blessing but, as a curse. Repeat the cycle of life and death for you have committed a grave sin of completing The Eclipse. I curse you in my name that though you might be immortal your body shall die, repeating the cycle of life and death and only if 'HE' wills, then only can you become an Angel. So repent for 'HE' whom I serve is benevolent and kind."
After finishing his monologue he slashed me with his sword. My whole existence was crumbling but for some reason I felt ecstasy instead of fear and pain, like my mind was being corrupted just by hearing his voice. It was like the final call of a devil. Sure I was dying, but I was not gone from this world. I was born as a bug, a fish, a Merlock,............................., a puca,................................................., And finally the current me.
The overflow of memories that were either forgotten made my head hurt like it was dipped in hot water. Not being able to control my nausea I vomited. It hurt so bad I'd rather not remember that moment ever again. I looked around but nobody seemed to mind me. No it was more like they couldn't mind my insignificant action they all looked like they were lost in their own dream world the feelings that my senses detected from them was exactly like how I felt after hearing the Angel's voice. But, why was I not affected?
I felt chill running down my spine. I on that moment felt someone watching me, I looked up and felt that I saw something.
'You', 'The Presence','The Great Eye'. All the Ancient Past that they consisted of, the existence beyond record. I felt their gaze for sure.
The prophecy that I got after I became Little Giant in my 17th rebirth was now all clear to me.
Soon the gaze were diverted and the Angel whom I have forgotten about came to me. " Came to complete our promise. Will you become an Angel to escape this cycle."
I replied hesitantly. "No thanks, I'll wait here for the Chaos to end."
The Angel looked flustered by the information but soon gained his composure and inquired back. " Do you know what you just said? If you do don't you know the consequence? The span of Chaos is almost an eternity, you may well Just become an Angel."
I was still firm on my choice. The Angel gave up and left with the people who were in a dazed state, and I was left all alone. Soon even the concept of time left this world. But, for some time I wasn't actually alone, there was still there 'The Great Eye' who watched me for a long time. But soon, even 'THEY' left this world.
Now in the truest sense I was all alone, it wasn't actually that bad it was more calming than I thought or maybe I just lost my sanity during this long cycle of life and death.
I looked up at the sky, slowly closing my eyes waiting for the Chaos to end. I don't know how much time have passed but I do know that as my acquired record told me it was an 'Eternity Forever'.