Chapter 3
“Are you ready?”
Joell’s words seemed far away in Neera’s spinning head. Unfortunately the withdrawals had hit her just before they had to walk to the banquet hall. Joell had to support her all the way to the huge doors that they were standing before. Neera doubted she could answer without throwing up, so she nodded with clenched teeth. The guards in front of the doors looked at Neera with disgusted faces, like she was a rat who had crawled its way into their homes. Neera glared right back at them, icy fire in her eyes. And she silently prayed that Illiya would really take her away from this place.
”Open the doors.”
Joell commanded. Gone was his gentle timbre and instead he sounded like he could make the earth shake with his voice alone. Neera felt safe hidden behind his angry demeanour. The knights cowered and pushed open the heavy wooden doors. The light momentarily blinded Neera. But strangely enough, the hall was completely silent. You could almost hear the snow landing on the ground outside. The king was sitting on a platform on a chair that was too small for his enormous stature. He was double the size of everyone in the room, but Illiya was the one taking up the most space. She was sitting on his right in the seat of honour. Her face was as calm as always, but a dangerous ice cold anger was simmering in her blue eyes, like lightning, ready to strike. The king’s tanned skin had gone pale. He looked like he wanted to flee, but Illiya’s gaze kept him nailed to his ridiculous throne. Joell broke the silence and began his performance.
“You pathetic excuse of a king! How could you go against the church like this! To treat a holy oracle like this! You deserve far worse than having your crown taken from you.”
Joell pointed at the king with an accusing finger. Neera almost laughed at the king's indignant expression. He looked like he wanted to chop Joell’s head clean off, but he couldn’t out of fear of Illiya. It was wonderful, seeing the fright Neera had experienced so often, manifested on the king's face. Illiya turned her eyes to Neera, and Neera straightened her back best she could, she stumbled a little, but Joell managed to steady her discreetly.
“Do you wish to go to the church?”
Neera knew they had prearranged this whole performance. It was all fake, and nothing about it should feel important. And yet it did. Her answer felt important. Like this was the first step towards a future she was in control of. She knew that it was just an illusion, but she physically felt the weight of the words coming out her mouth.
”Yes, I want to go to the empire.”
Neera almost collapsed at the toll of speaking, but she looked up nonetheless. She had to look at the king. To meet his eyes, and show him the defiance in her own. She wanted to show him her victory. He was glaring at her, like a child who’s candy had been stolen, and in that moment he looked pathetic. Neera might have spent her life starved, drugged and locked up, but at least she still had some resemblance of dignity, this man in front of her had lost all dignity the moment he imprisoned a small child for his own gain. Neera had seen enough. She nodded to Joell, who helped her stumble away. She walked through the doors with her head held high.
The next day Neera was sitting in an open carriage, waiting for the big group from the empire to depart. Neera was with Joel in the carriage, who had been charged with looking after her during her episodes of withdrawals. The sun was high in the sky and the snow was glistening on the mountain tops. It was a wonderful day to leave the awful castle and its nightmares behind. The only thing missing before they could leave was Illiya. Joell’s eyes widened in shock, before he began snickering. He pointed at something behind Neera. She turned around and saw Illiya walking beside a man in a wheelchair. It took a moment before Neera realised that the crumpled man was the king. His legs were bandaged and bloody. His head hung low and his shoulders were hunched. Neera looked towards Laya, who sent her a satisfied, almost innocent looking smile.
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There was such a stark contrast between the king and Illiya that Neera giggled alongside Joell. Illiya nodded to the king, not even bowing, and began walking towards her horse. As she walked past the carriage, she made eye contact with Neera, and smirked. Neera returned it with a huge grin of her own. Illiya mounted her horse gracefully, whistled and the whole group began moving in sync, riding towards the empire.
The first few days of travel was a strange mix of the fresh mountain air that smelled and tasted like freedom, and a nausea so bad that Neera had to throw up over the edge of the carriage several times. Joell supported her the whole time, like a solid rock after a long day of walking. It was only on the fifth day that Neera felt well enough to join the others around one of the campfires. Neera spotted Laya and walked over to the fire she was sitting by. Joell was beside her, and Illiya across from her. Neera almost stumbled, too focused on Illiya. Neera wondered why, despite her much higher status, she was sitting with the others. Neera just couldn’t figure the woman out. Illiya stood out no matter where she went, and yet she insisted on living and eating with people who were technically below her. She treated them almost like friends. Illiya was sly and coy, yet regal and elegant. She was kind, and yet something cold and deadly gleamed in her eyes sometimes. It was like she had a million different faces, each one more fascinating than the last.
Neera sat down on the ground somewhere between Laya and Illiya.
”Neera, you’ve finally joined us, how do you feel?”
Laya looked at Neera with genuine concern and a twinge of pity.
“I’m alright, getting better.”
Laya nodded with a huge grin, like it was the best news she had heard all day.
“Would you like some food?”
Neera looked towards the pot that Joell gestured to. It smelled amazing, and Neera smiled at the thought. Just being able to smell food without disgust was great progress. Neera nodded, and Joell began scooping a generous portion into a bowl.
“We’re almost at the border. Soon we’ll be leaving this country behind.”
Illiya glared at something in the distance, but quickly turned her gaze to Neera who smiled gratefully. So far, Illiya had lived up to her promises. The thought of leaving behind everything she had ever known, made butterflies explode in Neera’s stomach. Not a trace of fear could be found. She was so close, she could almost taste the future that she had dreamed.
Neera looked around at the people surrounding the fire, and she wondered, like she had many times before, if their kindness was simply a facade, hiding a more cruel truth, but unlike before, Neera felt a grain of trust in her heart, that these people had good intentions. If anyone could help Neera build a better future, it would be them. And she noticed how she didn’t seem to mind a future where they could all sit together, laughing and smiling with warmth and safety.
“I swear I’m not made for sleeping on the ground.”
Laya sighed and kicked a particularly sharp rock.
”You’re the youngest of us, stop complaining. Even Neera hasn’t said a word about it.”
Joell sent Laya a reprimanding look that made her roll her eyes and imitate his voice. Neera chuckled and decided to comment on the ground where she had slept the past few nights.
”This is a great upgrade. I love the ground. It’s so soft and warm compared to what I’m used to.”
”Just wait till we get you a real bed Neera, you might just cry.”
Illiya teased Neera.
“Never. I only cry for two reasons. Either I need to get out of a sticky situation, or I've dropped my food on the ground.”
”I'll remember that when you go through your first heartbreak.”
Neera looked at Illiya with surprise. It was strange having someone talk about her like she could be loved and have a normal relationship like a normal person.
”I have a feeling that it will be Neera who will be breaking hearts.”
Joell looked at Neera with pride and Neera blushed slightly at the compliment.
”Of course, that’s obvious.”
Neera hid her embarrassment behind cockiness.
”you never know, you might just meet someone who sweeps you off your feet.”
There was something cryptic about the way Illiya said it, like she was the oracle, not Neera.
“That would take a lot, as I said, I love the ground.”
Illiya laughed and Neera couldn’t help but crack a smile. The four of them sat and talked until the night grew so cold they had no choice but to crawl under the thick woollen blankets. They slept close to the fire that night, and close to each other. Neera fell asleep to the rhythm of people breathing around her, and she almost felt safe.