Avril was very happy. She shuffled in the bed, dreaming in blissful peace. Despite being asleep, she knew her arms held onto Oscar and counted the beating of his heart as her head rested on his chest. His soft breathing rose and fell in a hypnotizing rhythm. She exhaled when he inhaled and inhaled when he exhaled, matching his pace in a soothing harmony.
Happiness, joy, comfort, she had it all in her arms. When she couldn't find her sister or mother, the traces long gone even after her best efforts to follow them, she felt the world nearly crumbling around her. She had hoped to find comfort in Oscar and headed north, only to find out he had lost everything and disappeared. Now, he was back in her arms, her one true solace. After forty years, finally, she could feel the warmth, once replaced by a gaping, cold void, now firmly rooted in him.
Suddenly, amid her dreams, Oscar jolted as if struck by lightning, and a forceful push threw her aside, nearly throwing her off the bed. Tossed in the air, Avril floated and tightened her loose robes, beholding a frightening sight. Oscar was digging into his chest, blood spreading from where his fingers pierced the skin, dyeing the robe and sheets red. Avril panicked and swooped down, lashing out a vine, wrapping and pulling on his wrist with one hand as she tried to calm him with the other, stroking his forehead.
"Oscar?" Her call fell on deaf ears. Oscar flailed like a wild beast, breaking her vine with a loud snap. She noticed her cheeks losing their color and gaining a deep blueish hue, the onset of dying from asphyxiation. He made no sound, unable to muster a strained grunt past his clenched throat. The bed creaked loudly until one of the boards cracked, sinking the mattress in the center. Avril bit her nails, crying, helpless, as she watched her husband in pain. An idea fell on her head, and she burst across the room and yanked the drawer, some of its contents clattering out.
She fished around the greater space pocket and retrieved several vials of elixirs, mostly relaxants, sleeping agents, and others for ailments of the mind. 'This better work!' Oscar already dug his fingers halfway in. His flailing made her efforts difficult as she tried to pin him down, like taming a wild horse. She sent forth her vines, entangling his limbs in several layers. Her time was limited as the vines creaked, struggling to contain Oscar's power. Grasping his mouth, Avril hesitated and decided to pour one vial, and sure enough, the elixir burst from his throat, rejected and blocked.
"Damnit!" Avril pulled on her hair. She had to act fast, or else he would die. Several vines were torn apart, the rest straining as their fibers slowly stretched, a grating noise intruding her ears. Avril popped open a few vials and poured the elixirs into her mouth, slightly bulging her cheeks. Oscar shut his mouth, the lips flat and blue. Her lips fell on his, pried them open, and transferred the liquid. Avril didn't let go, afraid he might spit it out if she separated, and pressed her kiss deeper. Eventually, he relented and drank the draught, coughing once she parted. Drinking the rest, she mouth-fed them to Oscar, unable to enjoy the sweet taste all muddled in the strong, herby flavors of the elixirs.
He seemed to have calmed down and returned to sleep, snoring softly, a sign that his breathing was normal. Avril stroked his face, the blue tinge receding from her warm palms, and heaved a sigh of relief, glancing at the blood on her robes, Oscar's blood. A haze veiled her vision, presumably from the elixirs, some leaking into her despite her best efforts. Rousing her Ein to fight off the lingering effects, Avril regained her senses and took Oscar away for a late bath.
Inside the bath, as Avril scrubbed off the cold sweat and the fresh blood and healed his wounds, she couldn't stop sobbing, her tears lost to the pools. "Oscar…I'm sorry." Only apologies spilled from her spluttering voice. She was exhausted, unable to handle more of what she saw, and how many more would occur? Would he suffer like this nearly every night? The bath failed to clean the distinct tearstains that streaked down her eyes. She redressed Oscar in fresh clothes and settled him on the bed. Sleep was not an option. Avril watched over him, holding elixirs at the ready.
…….
The morning suns, or rather, the constant light of the Beak of Ra, blessed the entire house, not a spot or corner spared from its radiance. It should have been a good day full of peace and laughter. Unfortunately, it wasn't. Oscar lowered his head, ashamed and unwilling to meet Avril's gaze. She had told him about last night and how he nearly killed himself. He'd told himself he would not let the past linger here, not let it affect this life spent with her. Yet, the losses and the pain chained him, and now she suffered by his hands.
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He lifted his trembling hands, the sinful hands that had struck her. "Avril…I don't want to fight." He spoke truly. "I fought, I killed, I tortured, I did it all, and all I have–" his arms gestured at his pathetic state, "is what I am now. I hit you."
"It was an accident. You had no con–" Avril reached out to grab his hands, but he avoided her.
"I hit you. Me." Oscar chuckled weakly. He might have broken out into hysterical laughter if not for his sore throat. "I insulted you, my wife, my partner. What if one day, I lose control, and I…I." He couldn't finish the last words. What if he killed her in his confusion? The thought shuddered down his spine, a chill freezing his nerves. He didn't want to imagine it, but his actions yesterday clearly showed him he was more than capable of it.
"You won't!" Avril slapped him, his head reeling to the side. Her voice trembled as water gathered in her eyes. "She can't believe her husband thinks he will do it. Past the long years and impossible odds, her husband reunited with her, a stroke of fate. She will never let him leave!" She gripped his hands, not letting go. He turned and faced her. Avril said, "Years ago when you held me when I suffered, I hurt you. I hurt you, my husband, my love. But did you leave me? No, you endured. She can endure as well."
"But." Oscar went silent. His fear came from the power in his body. While he suffered some injuries from her outbursts, he never feared she might kill him, but now, a real chance existed in which he could kill her.
"And!" Avril interrupted before he could continue. "If it does get dangerous, Demon will take over. Yesterday, the lonely ego refused to show himself and stop Oscar, but she believes he will come out before it's too late. Right, Demon?" Her golden eyes chilled to a cold glare at his chest, almost as if she could see his counterpart in the inner world. Suddenly, her head tilted back. Oscar realized too late that he had flicked her forehead, an unconscious gesture. He didn't enjoy that cold look on her, preferring her bright smile adorned by two dimples.
"Sorry. It just happened. I couldn't control myself." Oscar said.
"See! If you don't want me to be so harsh, then stay with me." Avril giggled, rubbing her reddened forehead, the fluttering of her bangs showing a faded scar. She leaned forward, noses an inch apart, and smiled brightly, "Oscar, what do you want?"
"What do I want?" Oscar asked himself.
"What do you want now?" Avril urged him.
Come to think of it, he hadn't thought of a future. His dreams, his nightmares, nearly all of his thoughts were stuck in the past. What future was there? He refocused his vision, seeing Avril before him, the answer he had sought and fought for throughout the war. In those quiet moments between battles, during the aftermaths when he peered over lands scarred by war, marked by blood and corpses, he always had one wish. "Peace, quiet, family, children. Is it alright if I just live? Can we live here, raise a family, and rest until we pass of old age?"
"You can. We can toss it aside and live out new lives. The past doesn't have to bind us. She promises we'll grow old together and pass away, smiling and surrounded by our children." Avril kissed Oscar fondly, cementing that promise with her lips.
He had no words, no retort against that. All of his worries washed away like sands from the rock, dispersing into obscurity. He felt strength welling in him and brought her in for another kiss. "Wait. I remember. I got a Divine Essence extract for you."
"I already found it in your dimensional cube. I handed it to Master before he left. He said it might take fifteen years, five more to go." Avril smiled, the light of the Beak of Ra dull compared to her dazzling golden gleam.
"Master?" Oscar still hadn't linked up to Demon and Erden's memories.
Avril took out a small book and opened the withering pages to the first one, reading by his side. In it, she detailed her journey after separating from Oscar in Convecia City forty years ago. Her travels across the lands, hunting down bandit groups and gangs, tracing the steps from her town to a vast city, only to be stopped there, no more clues to be found. He hugged her comfortingly, and she answered by leaning on his shoulder, still reading.
He learned she had cared for Renn and Gloria, his heart pained by recalling the two young children he saved long ago. He took them in as his responsibility, but he never came back to them. He lost so much and struggled only to lose more, yet he failed to hold onto what remained. Deep regret stabbed him like a dagger to the heart, and he listened on. When she mentioned Maia, Oscar accidentally crushed the ends of the wheelchair's armrests, her trembling expression of fear quelling his anger.
In the end, after hearing about Maia's sacrifice and long years of helping his family, Oscar gritted his teeth. "I hate her. And I won't ever be able to say otherwise. But I won't harm her or oust her for your sake. Whenever she comes, I'll leave the room."
"That's more than I could ask for. She wishes they could at least talk but understands and pulls away before Oscar changes his mind." Avril flipped to the next page. A few more, and they were done, ending it on her latest note of joy at his return. Oscar stared into her eyes, thankful for her care over the past ten years. She smiled and closed in for another kiss.
Suddenly, the door banged open, and they parted. Oscar was stunned, eyes wide in shock and mouth gaping open. The entire time, he had been so preoccupied he didn't sense this one coming, but the sudden interruption wasn't what shocked him. The Ein and presence of the person walking in with two legs matched the one from his memories, and the link proved it was him. But how?
"Erden?" Oscar asked. The person looked human, but it was Erden.