Chapter 5: Uranus and Changing Room Paradox

Hi, it’s me again—Sierra Fox. Everyone’s favorite ex-space tyrant who once had the majestic ability to devour Cheetos in bed while losing at Mario Kart... and now I’ve reached new heights by abducting my entire family from Earth.

Today’s adventure? Giving my family a tour of my moon-sized spaceship. You know, normal family bonding.

Naturally, it had to start at the observation deck—because, you know… space. Of course, I immediately regretted the decision. My lecture on the artificial singularity power source and how the ship rotates every 200 seconds to counteract its gravity was completely derailed by my sister pointing out Uranus and its moons.

And, well, Dad snickered at the word Uranus. Because, obviously.

Seeing that my tech flex was going nowhere—like a Wi-Fi signal in a black hole—I decided to take them to the medical bay. I mean, who wouldn’t want a free, space-age medical checkup?

You might ask, Sierra, since you’ve got nanomachines in your veins, why would you even need a medical bay?

Well, if you check the layout, the medical bay happens to be conveniently next to the… interrogation room, which is, uh, totally off-limits to visitors at the moment. So, you can guess its other purpose.

The medical bay was pristine, all sleek silver surfaces and soft blue lighting, giving it that high-tech, futuristic vibe you'd expect on a spaceship. The walls were lined with medical scanners that could probably diagnose a cold from orbit, and sleek, cylindrical pods hummed quietly, ready to handle anything from a broken bone to genetic resequencing.

But what really set this place apart were the hovering med-drones zipping around like tiny, over-caffeinated bees, each equipped with more medical knowledge than an entire hospital staff. One buzzed over my dad’s head, probably assessing whether his snickering at Uranus was a sign of cognitive decline from the beaming-up process.

A second later, the med-drones swarmed over my family. Even Lily was poked and prodded by several therapeutic beams.

“Hey! Who gave you permission to grab me?” Mom yelled. "You’re sure this medical bay won’t accidentally turn me into a robot or something?"

Oh, right—I had revoked all patient rights a while ago. You know, for reasons. Mostly because the last person who questioned my methods is… well, let’s just say they’re enjoying some quiet time.

“Don’t worry, Mom, you’d get a warning before any drastic upgrades.”

As I sneakily tried to reinstate the patient rights in the system, the drones had already finished their work.

“Wow, my knee and back pain is gone!” Dad was impressed.

“I don’t feel any improvement, though,” Mom said, rolling her eyes. Well, her voice was clearly clearer. And her skin looked ten years younger.

Lily, meanwhile, stared at me like I’d just been caught snooping through her sock drawer.

“Well, if you have this kind of advanced technology, why don’t you turn yourself back into James?” she asked.

Ah, the million-dollar question.

“Well, funny thing about that,” I said, trying to explain without sounding too much like a mad scientist. “The nanomachines in my body are hardwired to my current appearance. If I try to change anything, they freak out and just… put me back.”

Lily looked at me like she was trying to decide whether to believe me or file me under “unsolvable mystery.” Mom, on the other hand, seemed relieved.

“Well, that’s better than having her shapeshifting back and forth at will. Having a son turned daughter is difficult enough. If I had to put up with her shapeshifting shenanigans, I’d die of hypertension!” Mom said.

Well, you’re already cured of hypertension, Mom, I thought, reading the med-drones' report.

Anyway, as cool as the med-bay was, I could tell everyone was ready for something less... clinical. So, naturally, it was time to show off the ultimate in space-age entertainment—my holographic room. No big deal, just a room that can simulate pretty much anything.

I decided to show off some of my favorite simulations. First up? A beach on Razon V, where the sky’s so pink it looks like a cotton candy machine exploded. A flock of alien white birds sang from far away, their voices carrying through the surreal landscape. The air smelled faintly sweet, like a mix of sea breeze and melted sugar.

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“So… is the cotton candy sky edible, or?” Lily asked, practically drooling at the sight.

“No, don’t eat anything from the holographic room. Trust me, I learned the hard way. A little is fine, but too much will wreck your stomach.” I still remember that fateful night when I first ran this program. Let’s just say, it wasn’t pretty.

“I’m not sure I want to be on an alien beach, honestly. This sticky sand gets everywhere,” Mom said, naturally spoiling the fun.

While Lily seemed one sugar packet away from licking the sky, and Mom looked like she was calculating how long it would take to vacuum alien sand out of the carpet, I switched the program to a peaceful alpine cottage, complete with rolling hills and snow-capped mountains.

The crispness of the mountain air wasn’t just something you could taste—it made every breath feel like a mini-vacation. The faint crunch of snow underfoot and the soft rustling of leaves made everything feel more peaceful.

Dad, however, looked around nervously and whispered, “Are there, like, safety settings? Because I don’t want to be chased by some alien wildlife.”

I quietly changed the program, knowing Dad was speaking from experience.

Saving the best for last, I capped it off with a spa in an alien hot springs town. The steam alone could cure all your existential crises. Probably.

Dad, being Dad, immediately suggested, “Hey, family vacation idea! Why go to Disney World when we’ve got this?”

Lily nodded in agreement. “Honestly, though, this beats waiting in line for overpriced churros.”

Mom eyed the hot spring for a while before saying, “I could get used to this hot springs thing. I mean, who wouldn’t want an alien spa day?”

So, we decided to enjoy the program for a while.

But, of course, nothing is ever that simple. With warm mist rising and the sound of bubbling water, we headed to the changing rooms. Naturally, I followed Dad in, like I’ve done a thousand times before.

“Whoa, where do you think you’re going?” Lily stopped me like I’d just tried to sneak past customs with a bag full of alien contraband.

I blinked. “Uh, with Dad? You know, like old times?” My voice cracked a little as I realized how ridiculous the situation was.

Mom and Lily exchanged looks. Great, here we go. Time for a full-blown Fox family debate on gender dynamics aboard a spaceship that can blow up planets.

“Sierra, you’re… not James anymore,” Mom said gently, with that don’t-argue-with-me tone only mothers have mastered. “You can’t just waltz into the men’s changing room like it’s no big deal.”

“Technically, I can walk in,” I pointed out. “Whether it’s a ‘big deal’ is more of a philosophical debate at this point.” I scratched my head, trying to lighten the awkwardness. It didn’t work.

Lily crossed her arms and sighed. “We need to address the whole ‘James or Sierra’ thing, like, right now.”

Of course we do. Why enjoy a hot spring when we can dive into an existential crisis, right?

“Alright, alright,” I said, holding up my hands in surrender. “I get it. My body may be all... this,” I gestured to myself, “but in my head, I’m still me. Kinda. Mostly.”

Dad, bless him, just shrugged. “You could be a three-headed alien for all I care—as long as there’s pizza afterward.”

Mom wasn’t going to let it slide so easily. “You need to start thinking about yourself as Sierra, dear. It’s not just about where you change—it’s about how you see yourself.”

“Yeah, and how we see you too,” Lily added. “Look, I get that this is... complicated. But we have to figure out how to handle it.”

The silence stretched awkwardly. I glanced at Dad, hoping for backup. Dad, meanwhile, had completely tuned out of the conversation and was now busy folding and refolding his towel, like that was somehow the real dilemma here.

Finally, I sighed. “Okay, fine. I’ll use the women’s changing room.” There, I said it. “But let’s be clear—this is way weirder for me than it is for you.”

Lily rolled her eyes. “Trust me, it’s pretty weird for us too.”

With that, the Sierra-versus-James dilemma took a backseat to the lure of hot springs and soothing waters. We split up, me heading into the women’s changing room with Mom and Lily.

Now, I don’t know if you’ve ever had to suddenly adapt to an entirely different gender’s locker room experience, but let me tell you—it’s like stepping into a parallel universe. Everything’s the same, but also completely different. I was half-expecting some secret society rituals, but it was mostly towels, hair ties, and that awkward small talk nobody actually enjoys.

Mom caught me awkwardly trying to figure out how to fold a towel around myself in the least weird way possible. “You’ll get used to it,” she said, smiling softly. “You’re still James in here,” she pointed to my head, “but you’re Sierra now in every other way.”

I shrugged. “Yeah, well, let’s hope my nanomachines don’t come with a built-in gender identity crisis protocol.”

With everyone finally changed and a somewhat fragile truce in place, we headed out into the simulated hot springs. The water was the perfect temperature, and for the first time in what felt like forever, I allowed myself to relax.

“So,” Dad said, wading into the pool beside me, “does this thing have, like, jets or something?”

“Dad, it’s a hot spring. There are no jets,” Lily replied, exasperated.

I grinned. “Actually, there are. Watch.” I flicked a mental switch, and the water started bubbling around us. Dad’s face lit up like a kid at Christmas.

Seeing everyone happy, I let the warmth of the water envelop me, like slipping into a cocoon of pure relaxation. The soft heat seeped into my skin, loosening every muscle as I sank deeper.

Steam rose gently around me, the damp warmth curling in the air and brushing softly against my face. The subtle pressure of jets cradled me, making every inch of my body feel weightless.

The heat soaked into my bones, easing away any tension, while the gentle mist seemed to carry my thoughts away with it.

Maybe, just maybe, this whole “new family dynamic” thing wasn’t going to implode like a dying star. We’ve got hot springs, jets, and somehow... this feels like home.

Well, that’s what it was supposed to be. But, of course, Lily had to ruin the moment.

“Wait. Hold up. Before you came back… which changing room were you using?”