Chapter 7 - Restart

Just like that I am back to square one, although my reasoning was decent, it has flaws. Like me restarting instantly may not mean that the previous world came to end…

‘What if it just kept going and instead, I start in a fresh universe? But that wouldn’t make sense – since at the start nothing changes.’

It turns out then, his phase spell or potion doesn’t disappear due to a light emblem nearby – after all that seems more unlikely than me switching universes.

I still lay down looking upwards, but now with a fresh perspective, ‘there is hope, after all this agony I must do something’ I decide to waste no more time than I had already done so in the past.

This time I don’t rush to the water village, but as I get out of the house and almost forgetting to put my shoes on. I start sprinting towards the central market this time, I have another hypothesis.

‘That may have not been Rodger!’

I say convincing myself that the worst could not happen, and being back stabbed is something of fiction, at least to this degree.

I soon arrive to the central market; at this time, it almost resembles the main market inside the capital as everyone is moving goods around.

I’m amazed by the equally bulky packaging of the deliveries, but in a smaller place.

I rush through some people although the place was mostly empty other than with the stall owners, items and stalls being set up. I smell all kind of different scents and the feeling of my shoulder brushing and knocking into things amounts to pain.

I see the centre, but unlike me everyone else seems to be walking not running like an idiot–through a crowd.

Finally at the centre I see a guard but no post, as I approach the man to ask him for directions to the magic and potions section, he lunges towards me with his spear.

My mind goes blank and I can’t even process what happened and even the action of moving out the way seems so distant.

I close my eyes, and everything seems dark. I hear the sound of the spear puncture something, and all its insides seem to be leaking out – like a bad barrel.

“Are you okay kid?”

The guard asks and its voice seems one of old, and his tone inflicts me with a sense of kindness. It feels too un-real.

I open my eyes again to see a steel helmet with a green pattern – representing the kingdom flag, which was itself two striped lines of dark green going over each other in a cross style, whilst the rest of the quadrants it crated were white.

The guard is definitely taller than me but he is at eye-level, and right after I do open my eyes, I am meeting reality with the sound of a ‘thud’.

I look back to see a beasted man, not like the ones that live in the kingdom, but some sort of actual monster – on the floor – dead.

Like those at the village!

I feel an immense pressure is gone, and the kind act by this random stranger – leaves an imprint on me. ‘Maybe the world isn’t actually so bad…’

‘But how could it be good If that same world denies the existence of all my friends?’ I’m not sure how to respond but I run to the soldier and hug him. As tears roil down my face, I embrace him.

He pats me on the back.

“It’s alright, my boy Ed…”

The man whispers into my ears, and my eyes prick with an eruption of emotion – one that brings me back to my childhood.

“Uncle Richard!?”

I scream ecstatically in the silence around us, as I almost examine aspects of his body – his brown hair and small eyebrows, sharp facial structures and somehow unlike farther unable to grow a beard.

But everything suddenly turns a sharp one-eighty as in the midst of all the heart-warming reunion of sorts.

We both hear thuds approaching. Richard seems to notice the threat faster than me and responds faster as well.

“Guards reinforcement needed - centre!”

And as he shouts it, the same words echo back but in different voices.

As I look around four-teen or maybe twenty beasted men approach, but they weren’t like the ones at the village or the one Uncle Richard had actually killed.

These ones had no weapons nor the slightest remark of hidden daggers. They almost look innocent but as soon as I make that awfully kind assumption, something starts to happen

All of them simultaneously start chanting the same words, and as they seem to start, dozens of guards form a line with shields and arms Infront of us.

I try listen to what the spell actually is, hoping that maybe with all the limited knowledge of spells I have, and all the experience I had in one day – that was never ending.

‘Just maybe, I would recognise it!’

As each guard screams commands, I listen in to these beasted, monster like men, I hear one clear word through all the chaos.

“Stand back! I’m warning you guys” Stand down!”

The guard continue to order. And as it seems like they are about to finish the chant, purely based on how long they had been going I hear one final phrase

“Donkere explosie!”

The word clicks bad to one of my memories with Rodger and I even start to shed another tear, but this time Richard isn’t next to me – he’s in the line of troops.

The words travel through every neuron in my brain to pick up on a single shred of translation left in my memory – ‘dark explosion’.

The moment I realise the chanting stops I don’t even have a moment to warn everyone, yet time continues and I don’t have a say in what’s going to happen. ‘A few seconds in the past and all of this could be reversed – but it isn’t going to happen’

And when all practically seems lost, and the guilt of not knowing drags me down with every electric spark in my nervous system, I hear a faint voice in my voice. Slowly, getting louder

‘Tien seconden!”

The voice whispers, I don’t fully understand what’s going on and as I track it down, everything around me becomes frozen. I even take a few steps forward and the world doesn’t respond.

I even get really close to one of the guards and lift off their helmet to reveal a giant bush of ginger hair, but the guard doesn’t respond.

‘What’s going on!?’ I scream to myself, if this is an enemy. Then is there a reason to keep going!?

“Repeat after me Ed… Tien seconden …”

The voice speaks again and seems to be lost once more after its last word – ‘but what could that even do?’ I ask myself trying to think If I really should trust a random voice.

“What’s in it to lose anyways? I’ll just reset as always…”

I mutter in a monotone, melancholic way and slowly with the will that remains in my heart somehow.

“Tien seconden!”

I speak the words loud and clear in a sorrowful way.

Purely expecting an instant reset – meaning death. But instead, to my shock and even horror – I hear the same chanting.

‘If you see an opportunity, take it!’ The words from Jim echo into my head and I instantly grasp what’s going on – although I don’t have the time nor brainpower to explain it – I’m back in the time before the explosion

“Run! It’s an explosion spell!”

I yell as loud as I can with each syllable and make each pause as short as I could to inhale air. Some of the guards look back and then within a second or two they start to dismount their position and run backwards behind the stools.

Meanwhile I anxiously count down the seconds I had been graciously given by some random power. And as soon as I hear the words marking the final phrase.

“Donkere explosie!”

And making sure everyone had gone back I feel relieved, but I was completely ignorant of the fact I’m still in the impact zone.

As I realise a second isn’t enough to flee and hide, I embrace it. ‘At least I was able to save people’ I wait and I even hear an explosion, and then a fraction for a second later I could feel a shockwave burst every single organ inside my body.

But even as I blink more and more, I feel a warm feeling engulf me, it burns as well. But in front of me is Uncle Richard. And I can’t hear him but I can see him now without his helmet.

His hair flows down and is the colour of snow, his eyes resemble fathers and hides between an orange and brown – a perfect hazel.

He sits me up, although I didn’t even register being on the floor, it makes me wonder two things – ‘how am I even alive and how bad was the explosion’.

I’m sat up in an upright position. I can see Richard fully. He’s casting a spell on me. but when I look down it's only a crimson mess. ‘I’m dying! Someone helps!’ I try to scream, but I can’t.

Emotions float around all blended in by the sense of pain, arteries severed, nerves twisted and ripped, and I can’t feel anything.

As I look around me, the entire market seems to have vanished, yet I still wonder – ‘how I’m still alive…’ And my previous fear of death dwells as I seem to grow closer and closer with it.

Death isn’t some sort of blank nothingness, nor is it a paradise waiting for me above the skies, and it isn’t even a place where only fire exists.

It’s purely torture – nothing but the feeling of hollow hearts.

I wake up, but this time I let out a scream I can’t resist it – and as I feel my hands around my body it seems perfectly fine. ‘Everything is fine – but it really isn’t’.

Father also seems to be right next to me, holding me in his arms, and only now do I stop screaming.

“What’s wrong Ed?!”

He screams frantically, I want to tell him everything. He’s the ultimate person in my life that cares for me and the only person who is and was there when I needed someone the most.

But still, I don’t think giving Jim, Angela, Gaven or Father the burden I carry is the best decision.

“Nothing… I had a nightmare…”

He looks at me still with caring eyes.

“Come on get up Ed.”

He says without explaining anything else, and as I do so he goes to Aella who’s rubbing her eyes and kisses her back to sleep.

Me and him put on shoes and something to keep us warm. Then going outside.

He closes the door and my mind flashes back to the number of times I ran through here in what seems to be the same day over and over again.

“So, Ed what’s going on?”

He looks at me directly, whilst I can’t stand to look him in the eyes whilst lying.

“Nothing! It was just a nightmare.”

“Ed, the last time you have nightmares that bad was a couple years ago, I know when you’re lying too. It’s alright Ed. You can tell me.”

I feel tempted to spill out all of my heart and cry for help, but I don’t. ‘Whoever it was, gave me this ability to transcend time’s linear scale. It couldn’t have been a mistake’.

“I’m not lying though!”

“Ed, look. What did I tell you from day one? If you ever got something that you can’t share with others – your safe to tell me. Telling other people your worries is how us people manage everyday life.”

I want to continue lying however It truly seems like he would understand, just like Jim – he always listens to me whenever I make stupid comments.

“Father, I don’t know what to do…”

I speak not even realising it, and then naturally stop myself – ‘I decided not to make him more worried!’ A voice that clearly gives reason speaks. ‘Its fine though – he’s clearly just worried about you.’ Another voice compels me to speak more.

“It’s just that, how do I prove myself not a failure if I keep letting everyone down.”

He pauses, takes a deep breathe.

“It’s not about being a failure or not, it’s not about being great or nothing. It’s about whether you can keep going when you meet a dead end. When everything seems so grow faint and dull – you keep going. That is what it means to be successful.”

I don’t have much words to say, and I don’t know how to respond, it makes so much sense but – ‘how do I keep going?’.

I feel like I’m at the verge of giving up, and running away. There’s almost too much going on – the centre is going to be blown up, the capital is going to be attacked and the water village is under threat too.

I focus on the small phrase – “keep going”.

“I see… Thanks father – thanks a lot for that, I’ll keep going!”

“I’m sure you will!”

And like that the conversation ends with him patting me on the shoulder and heading back inside, meanwhile I decide with no time left to figure out the issue in the market.

‘What if we kill the beasted casters before they finish their spell?’ I think carefully, as I run at a slow pace. And more questions spiral. ‘Why was Richard so casual killing that beast?’.

As I arrive at the market much faster then had last time, I rush around the outside of the market which resembles a circle.

I search for one memorable object, that almost seems out of place – and I still hope that it’s still there. Because if it isn’t my plan may have to wait through another horrifying reset. One bench, which was right next to the food section and magic section.

And step by step, I lose hope. I don’t know where it is – but its somewhere here. And no matter how much I keep searching it’s as if someone had removed it overnight.

But as I stop for a moment, I seem to even have gone past it. ‘The world stays intact for a bit longer’ I say to myself relieved.

As I walk back through the familiar route, I recall so many memories forged here. And as I stumble right into the aisles of stores. I stop expecting Rodger’s shop right next to me.

This novel's true home is a different platform. Support the author by finding it there.

My neck turns in a very slow manner, as if all the inner muscles are working against each other – ‘how could he…’

But as if the entire day is turned back into yesterday, Rodger is there in front of me in his stall looking at me very blankly as if I’m an idiot.

I feel a spark of anger, as soon as I even seen the resemblance of his face, ‘to think I had loved a man so much, to instantly hate him in a matter of minutes seems absurd to me’.

And as soon as I even try to speak, reality crashes onto me – ‘how is Rodger here?!’. It was undoubtably Rodger, with every aspect of his body being perfectly the same.

“Ed? What are you doing here scout? Did the special spells slash emblems not work?”

He asks me, in his kind voice.

“No, I mean no… But they did seem to randomly work, I guess. Other than the fact, I still can’t use emblem magic… Same things as usual.”

I laugh, realising indeed that I can use emblem magic, there is no doubt about it – if something is causing these resets. It must be because of this time emblem. It all folds onto me.

“It doesn’t make sense!”

I let out, somehow in context sounding perfectly fine, but inside I am frightened by the idea that any moment of time, Rodger would leave to go somewhere – ‘ultimately proving he fact… He had been the cause of everything that will happen in the village later today.’

“Hey Rodger…”

I ask, very reluctant and almost afraid of him being around me all of a sudden.

“Yes?”

“Is there some sort of way, someone could fake having a different emblem, or maybe change their perceived identity?”

“Certainly, unless that is if you’re in this universe. But you could cast something to make you look like someone else defiantly.”

He pauses and goes again.

“Oh, by the way Ed. Mind if you try out my new concoction, I brewed last night. I’m sure you’ll love this one! I name it – silent sleek. After you.”

“I am absolutely not doing this again – no chance! Even if you paid me to be your test subject this time. Get a clone or something to do it – when you do figure to do that one out!”

“Oh, alright then no need for the attitude. Also, Ed I'm about to head out to get some small supplies, would ya like to join me?”

“Sure, why not?”

I tell him, and it sort of doesn’t link in with the storyline I had imagined – with Rodger leaving out early and arriving at the village.

But this shows me.

As he starts walking, I feel a hollow feeling - ‘whats going on at the village then!?’ I stop, then force my legs to keep walking although at a very slow pace.

He looks back at me and I instantly get up to him by picking up my pace.

“Something seem wrong, what’s going on?”

“No nothing! Anyways, what are you looking after? Metals? Glass to hold more of your potions? Or things to actually make the potions themselves – like monster parts?”

“As a matter of fact, I already forgot what I was looking for... But those things could definitely be restocked. Glasses, spare-parts, cloth…”

And he continues listing more and more.

We arrive in front of another store, in the same aisle as Rodger’s shop but near the end, or rather the start of where the plaza is.

As he stars looking around for someone, I do too. I peek around the corner hoping to see a guard wielding a spear - Richard And I do indeed see guards before having to extend my range of view.

But none of them are holding a spear just swords, they talk to each other and even exchange a laugh or two. I wonder for a moment how it would be to live as a guard. Then immediately realise that’s probably one of the worst jobs – just like I imagine a teacher’s job would be awful...

“Hey Ed! Take a look at this stunning beauty!”

I look back around to him and he’s holding up a jar with some sort of glowing spheres that are really small.

“And? What is that exactly... Some fairies?"

He returns a dumb-founded look, almost telling me ‘Are you an idiot?’.

“Rodger, I don’t know if you’ve gone blind or you drank a potion know as beer this morning, but it doesn’t seem like much – the only thing that looks of value if the jar. I mean cool... But you get the point.”

“Ed... Come here you surprisingly stupid imbecile!”

He shouts at me as if I insulted an entire country with the most horrific of words and actions. I walk up to him still not knowing what he was talking about.

“Put your hand inside!”

“Wait Rodger! Have you gone mad? This is some guy’s shop and things and stuff y’know! You can't just go around messing with people's things!”

“Oh, quit crying like a baby already – everything’s safely and securely under control mister imbecile!”

“Oh, fine then! But I’m not paying for the thing If it breaks all of a sudden!”

He opens the jar, with intense grip and strength. And even after he manages to get it open none of the glowing spheres are overflowing out. They stay perfectly inside as if crafted that way.

I put my hand into the jar, and I can feel what felt like random lights become solid at the touch of my hand.

He signals with his other hand to put one into my mouth.

“Rodger man... You’re really testing my faith in you!”

I laugh at him; I take a hold of one of the glowing orbs and they feel warm but almost feels like they are going to pop if I squeezed it.

“Now what...”

I say to him as he holds the jar and I have one glowing orb illuminating some of the shadows.

“So, are you sure, certain, and absolutely can't use emblem magic at all right?”

“Yeah…”

“And even if you were somehow able to use – let's say the time emblem. You wouldn't be able to use another emblem like fire, water, light or even adventure. Right, since you don’t have that emblem at all not even a mixed emblem of sorts. Surely, still, your following?”

“Yeah, I follow you. But what does that mean?”

“Even if you don’t have that emblem, you can use one of the first casts of most emblems with this! Behold your dreams silent sleek!”

“You're joking right!? This is absolutely spectacular! How do I use it then!”

He signals me to wait with an open palm.

“How come!?”

“Are you sure? Are you certain? you really want to try it out? Sometimes certain things go wrong…”

“I mean of course!”

“Alright I have to warn you though, you may get some side effects like immense fatigue, drowsiness, vomiting and other things!”

“Thats nothing!”

Without hesitation and in a split moment where Rodger blinks, I throw the ball into my mouth as if a trick and then bite into it.

The sensation was so utterly weird, it felt like a large bursting as if a really delicate pearl. And all the liquid that is inside it making it glow – spills into my mouth.

It tastes incredibly sweet and feels out of place with the warm, softness of it – but it feels like a celebration inside my mouth.

I swallow it.

Although my tongue wants me to feel the texture of the jelly like substance for a bit more – my rising hope to cast some sort of spell like a fire ball overrules it.

As soon as I feel what's left of the orb enter my throat fully, I take a deep breathe, looking into Rodger’s eyes – he doesn’t even seem to register what I did.

“Vurr bal!”

I shout at the top of my voice, holding on of my arms with my hand and pointing up at the sky.

“That’s spirit right there!”

Rodger laughs at me, and I feel aggravatingly disappointed as I stare down Rodger in an immense mix of emotions.

“So... It doesn’t work at all!?”

He laughs to himself extremely hard, and almost falls over in laughter if not for the stall right next to him supporting his weight.

“Rodger you-”

I also start laughing, but even before Rodger can get up completely, I hear metal clinging, and as I start to turn around to see what was going on. I see two guards in front of me and Rodger with their weapons already drawn out.

“Hello guards?”

I say in a very relaxed tone, and I only fully realise the serious extent of our situation as I focus on their weapons already drawn out onto us.

“So, guards how’s your morning been? Nothing over here – just me and my friend’s svelte son.”

Rodger speaks, and the guards seem to look at each other emotionlessly due to their steel helmets and nod before taking their weapons to their sides and walking back.

“So, who actually owns this shop?”

“Some sort of new guy or something, I don’t know.”

“So why did we just steal that!”

I sharply whisper at him trying to keep my voice down.

And he just laughs at me even more.

“Rodger!”

I scream at him, still aware that any second the guards may come back with a multiplied number.

“Stop shouting!”

“But- but you can’t just do that!”

“Ed, if only you understood other languages that regular civilised people read, write and speak., and when these people speak, they do so silently plus calmly.”

“Come again?”

He points to a sign next to me.

I follow his arm which points to little sign which looks like a mixture of universal common and some sort of strange heavily curved letters.

“And what does that even say?”

“It says – free small samples for those who wish to take one.”

He speaks to me very slowly while he signals invisible speech marks with his fingers.

“So now I am the stupid one…”

I speak looking at him weirdly.

I suddenly remember have much more important things to do at this moment, I start walking off away from him without looking back.

“See ya later Rodger!”

He doesn’t reply, but I don’t think anything big of it – after all Rodger is a strange guy no doubt about it.

So that man couldn’t be Rodger! So who did attack the village…?

As I’m walking, I feel awfully relaxed but it feels almost strange – how could I be so relaxed when I’ve seen the deaths of everyone I know, actually happen.

I take my chain and grab my stopwatch, clicking the button on top so that I can see the time tick past me, and it does so. But the only danger awaiting me was the blast within the centre – ‘I have to stop it!” I repeat in my mind determined.

‘If I could somehow disable their magic spell, just maybe I could stop the blast – or maybe if someone interferes with the blast?’ My mind doesn’t seem to calm down for a moment with thoughts.

Even though time isn’t going to stop for me, although somehow it did so before – I have to keep moving down the linear time line towards the explosion – but what about the village? The same dilemma passes me again and my heart beats painfully as I try to ignore it.

Only a few seconds pass from my thoughts and I arrive to the plaza, this time it seems more tense than last time – as I’m there earlier than last time. My feelings are confirmed when I hear grunting and as I turn my head there are guards fighting something.

I feel like dropping as the sound of blades colliding with each other haunts me with a very terrifying image – ‘but I have to keep going or who else will?’

I walk closer to the scene with my arm in a fist waiting to repeat the spell I could somehow now cast – although I’m not sure if it would work, I needed to try at some point.

I see two guards with swords jabbing onto a beasted man, the exact kind that attack the village and will blow the place up.

“Brandwond!”

And finally, I hear the first actually magic cast of the day, right as I register it one of the swords that one of the guards is holding grows a flame and as he pieces it into the beasted man who was about to strike him, his entire body sets ablaze and he seems to fall instantly.

As both set back, they notice me and seem to almost start casting a spell before stopping.

“Kid! What are you doing here!? Run!”

The other guard with identical wear runs towards me and I hear some other guard in the distance shout something.

“Orange Alert! Help needed – East West!”

And just like that – the exact same words echoed and the other guard had started to rush in the other direction whilst some other guards including the one walking to me stayed in position.

“Ed?! What are you doing here?”

The voice hits me back with familiarity and I instantly know who it is.

“Uncle Richard!”

I shout back joyfully, ignoring his concerns.

“Ed, you have to get out of here.”

“I can’t! It’s way too important to actually leave it, if only you would believe me, and to even believe me would almost be asking for too much.”

“Well, it’s better to ask for the whole Earth than take it like these beasts, so go on.”

“I don’t know when or even why, there’s too much actually going on right now. But please hear me out when I say – the entire area is going to be blown up in a couple minutes from now.”

I start calm, but shift to a more frantic tone when his face doesn’t seem to change in a strange way.

“Ed, you can’t say such things like that if you don’t actually mean it!”

‘Maybe I am right – he isn’t going to be believing me – but was there another way – how could I convince him?’

“But I do mean it!”

“I’ll have to see what I can do – but right now we have to tackle the actual problem – these beasts.”

All I could think about was why he didn’t believe me if he had believed I had a time emblem before.

“Uncle Richard look!”

I push my wrist towards him and yet again he seems to look at me as if I am making a completely childish gesture purely for attention.

“Ed, now is not the time for such jokes. I really must get going – please get out of this area!”

Just like that he runs off to run down the path of his fate, and although with every step he takes it is dire pain – I need to do something myself.

I walk over to some crates, and kneel down onto the dead grass near it, watching for something – anything.

Any second something could happen and the silence frightens me more than the thought of action.

I count seconds in my mind anxiously and shortly lose track of numbers as they merge into sweat. And then after minutes and minutes stack upon each other, two guards walk pass me to the east in a rush and hooded people appear in the middle of the centre – whilst no guards or people are.

They gather in a circle and it seems to shuffle around resulting in some sort of ancient ritual circle, as all of them hold hands.

Chanting begins with one or two and eventually all of the sixteen or so beasts are in perfect sync, it almost seems rehearsed as if it is some sort of great performance.

My heart races, but it accelerates further when all of a sudden, my brain is faced with a moral spectrum of actions. With the main options being ‘do nothing’ or ‘stop them’.

I comb my hair with my fingers over and over until it feels like I am scratching my scalp entirely off, even though I do watch in suspense of my own actions, I look at their moves as if entirely new – although I know what will happen and what did happen.

A feeling of hope rushes through me – ‘if this works – everything will, and if it doesn’t what will a kid like me do anyways?’

I stand up like a spectator to their show ready to applaud.

But, none of the beasts even look at me although I suspect they know I am here. My inactive stance shifts to a run and I bolt towards the closest of the enemies.

Even as I’m just about to come into contact with them they do not respond, and when I do I hit the ground alongside one of the beats with the force of thousands.

I start bashing the beast’s skull over and over within the same second and that’s when something becomes apparent – the chanting stops and the beast on the floor looks back lifeless.

Their cast has finished.

They all simultaneously take a step closer, making the circle ever so slightly smaller and more cramped.

“Tien seconden!”

Without thought I scream the only phrase I am aware that could possibly save me from this mess, and within uninterpretable speed I am behind the crates.

Once again whatever spell this is – it must be a time manipulation spell. But I have other things to worry about.

‘Think! Think God damn it! How could I possibly take any of this on?’. Thoughts of the future are suddenly born into my mind through electrical compulsions spiralling in the midst of panic mode.

As if a magically crafted map, I think of dozens of outcomes from possible actions – ones in which lead to dead ends and a few which keep flowing.

Like that my thoughts stop and don’t come back.

But a fleet of vision drives my next steps – knowing I am trusting pure instinct and this could go wrong in a thousand, million ways.

I run again as if repeating everything that I just did, only to come into a slightly better result.

The logic behind it all is delusion anyways – but the sheer mentality isn’t.

As I approach the circle of idle beasts threading a ritual, I don’t go for the first beast, but rather I start rushing around the circle – all of the beasts seem fixated.

But one, only one from the entire pack isn’t – this one looks in my direction even though his gestures copy the others – and as if mirroring every action. All the beasts too look in my direction.

“Versterken!”

It is a chain reaction that occurs like a flame starting on a barrel of gas.

I dash through the circle and before anything or anyone is able to understand the situation, I leap onto him with raging intent.

I’m scared –feeling vulnerable in this circle to any attack. But I refuse to look back instead I relentlessly struggle with this beast.

He puts me onto the ground. Then for a moment I am on top of him. Punch after punch. And scratch after scratch, and thud after thud. I feel fatigued and faint.

As I close my eyes to let failure close my eyes, a light seems to appear within my mind – an image of everything. An image of glory – as Father seems to reach his hand to me in the dark.

“Get up!”

I scream in agony, and through all the drumming of the ground that we create as we struggle until the other is finished.

Without thought and with precise intent I get one clean punch. That created a gateway for more. Punches, elbows hits and even biting. I feel like an animal for sure, but like a lion.

Just when I feel like I beat myself up from ravaging the beast I heard a loud thud and as I frantically look back forgetting about the other beasts - ‘I’m dead now aren’t I?’.

But nothing happens. All I see is the lifeless corpses slowly fading away flake by flake – like snow in Spring. And even though they felt real they fade away as if they never ceased to exist in the first place.

However, the main body is still here – truly dead. My body is bruised horrendously and the strengthen non-emblem spell fades revealing sheets of pain.

“I did it! I actually did it!”

Even though I ache, I celebrate with joy. ‘I can do it then, of course I can!’

“But, what. What about the village?”

I ask myself as my eyes drift towards a sleepy haze, I want to get up but I don’t. I look up at the bright sky faintly as I lay onto the ground in desperation.

“I can’t rest yet…”

But my body does not reciprocate the same sharp feeling as my mind does.

All of a sudden, the ground seems not too different from my bed, and my arm although numb comforts my head, all whilst my head spins around and around. Repeating every thought twice and replaying every memory over and over.

Nothing seems certain for a few moments, did I reset again or did I get carried home? And part of me didn’t want to find out and hope I was home again.

I drift off into a half-asleep state for a moment once more before finally deciding to open my eyes. As I open them, I expect to see the roof of the barn.

But instead, I awake to see the sky in its isolation and thousands of stars brightly shining upon me, nothing else was in my view.

Confusion melts into my mind and as I use my arms to arch my body upwards to see my surrounds, I appear to be awake in hell…

The near and far distance glows and amber death and invokes the image of fires all around, stools broken and wood, clothing, plates and every piece of marketplace goods scattered around the place.

My eyes prick in confusion, terror and absolute fear as I notice layers of people lifeless around me, all of them, every single one of them all with a stained expression of fear reflecting onto me.

“W-what the hell… How just h-how did this even. Happen…”

I speak very anxiously and with every second my mind wonders off too terrifying corners that I try desperately to block.

I get up and almost want to vomit, with every inch I move my eyes resist tears. After such a hardship of only getting up I now have to face what is left of the past.

I take a step and almost stumble on the bloody sight of a decapitate arm, twisted and bruised all the way to meet the colour purple.

Eventually I let out one scream, and then a second one, and each scream lasts on and on whilst each one echoes undisturbed throughout the remains of the area.

I take another step forwards trying to walk to what I believe was the magic aisle, knowing the sight of what I might see. All I recognise is the now harsh looking stones of the plaza floor and the blood-stained grass.

‘Again, and again and again. All that happens always leads to some sort of death, if only it all stops then maybe everyone can live in another world without any violence or fear.’

My melancholy thoughts are lost as my vision is filled with a new definition of several words: hell, horror and death.

I walk and walk with nothing else to see but a slight variation and during all the time, one thing remains constant image of absolute destruction.

“Richard, hello!?”

A tear drops and more follow, seamless on and on as if commemorating each one of the dead – but not even Jim and Angela’s water spells could feed the need.

I look around for a forest frantically. As if some sort of escape from reality. But all I actually see is a great fire blazing all I love.

“What now, huh?”

I say, hopeless.

“What do you want me to do?”

I ask, not knowing who I am trying to speak to. All I know is that I am desperate. Desperate for something good to happen yet again.

“Get up!”

I shout at myself as loud as possible.

“Who is going to feel sorry for you! When you can’t even-“

I muster all my emotions into a messily folded ball, and try to swallow it up. But it feels to much in one gulp but eventually – somehow by some chance I wedges itself through and gets lost.

“Get up!”

And I do get up, but very painfully through a mental and physical toll on my body– feeling everything growing numb.

Just numb, slightly cold but probably because of the weather and eventually the tears just stop. I sit down onto the floor and I lay a bit back, breathing the air full of death.

I hold my back straight and put my hands together, I breathe once deeply and forcing a calm mentality. But as soon as I try to release any words from my mouth or mind – everything explodes.

My calmness sharply projects outwards and all I manage to even do is get onto the floor from a stabbing pain. And I look to my body a large bruise the colour black appears.

“So, why? Why do I keep hurting – no matter what I do or try?”

I start sobbing once more, now even more distant from any hope, and more distant from a calm sanity – all that surrounds me is the irrationality of emotions that I wish could be replaced with hope.

I lay my head on the ground again, but the crying doesn’t seem to stop. I go on and on and on, to the point where my head feels like it’s being crushed by entire stars and pure darkness of the night sky.

Every gulp feels like a knife cut to my voice box, and without even knowing I try to sleep. But unable to – with everything that is going to happen again.

The pain in my abdominal region grows worse and worse.

Until eventually I can’t stand it.

“Tien seconden!”

I scream over and over. Until I find myself in my original position on the floor.

A couple minutes back.

Completely exhausted.

Unable to cast anything else.

And eventually the pain comes back once again.

Until once again everything fades black.