Hazeel had known it for as long as she had known Leo. She would never be the one in his heart, and always destined to be second fiddle.
This became even more apparent after their return to Leo’s home planet, Earth, where Leo and Vanessa spent more time reminiscing than actually talking to those around them. It hadn’t helped that Hazeel felt so out of place on earth, being the only one of her species on the planet, that she couldn’t help being intimidated by the whole situation.
They were completely at ease in each other’s presences, and enthralled when speaking to each other. Despite the fact that Hazeel had known from the beginning, that didn’t make it hurt any less.
Even now, she watched their banter through envious eyes, yet that envy quickly died in her chest and became little more than a feeling of self depreciation. “What’s wrong?” Zare Minami leaned over Hazeel’s shoulder and asked.
While Leo was busy talking to Vanessa, Rexir and Leresa had settled into a mood of their own. That left just Hazeel, and Zare without conversational partners, as Katherine had left the burger restaurant before all of them, claiming an early work day as her reason to return home early.
“Nothing.” Hazeel sighed, and absentmindedly touched a finger to her neck, where the slave seal tattoo was still present.
“Did you really do that for him?” Zare asked incredulously, eyes locked onto Hazeel’s neck. “How did you ever think that making yourself a slave was worth it?”
“Ugh.” Hazeel uttered, thinking the very same thing this very moment. When she met Leo, she was utterly entranced by his strength, by his tenacity, and his unwillingness to compromise for anyone.
So much so, that she followed a passion and libido that she thought was long extinguished, and made a decision that she thought would bring her to his side.
While her stunt did have that effect, their initial relationship was far from healthy. In fact, it wouldn’t be an overstatement to say that Leo was downright hostile to her.
However, that didn’t stop them from coming to understand each other. Through Hazeel’s pain, she had carved out a place in Leo’s heart for her… at least, that was what she thought.
Seeing his smile in front of Vanessa, the one he had loved before he met her, the one he had desired even during their time together, the one she thought she was content being a replacement for…
Despair clutched at her heart once more, and she knew that she had to manually hop off this line of reasoning, just like she had so many times before. She didn’t like the weakness it made her feel.
It reminded her too much of who she was before she joined the army: a woman content to let people push her around, as long as it was for the right reasons.
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“What’s wrong?” This time, it was a different voice that called out to her, one that made the skin on Hazeel’s neck tingle. She turned around to see Vanessa, looking at her out of concern.
While lost in her thoughts, she had walked past the rest of the group after they had made a turn onto a side street, and continued on her current trajectory. “Is something bothering you Hazeel? It’s not like you to-”
“I’m fine.” Hazeel said quickly. “Really, I’m fine. I just got caught up in my own thoughts a bit much.” She turned and began to follow the group once more, and a feeling of dread came from her heart as she saw Vanessa slow her pace to walk beside Hazeel, leaving Zare to bother Leo.
“So, what’s actually bothering you? You can’t expect me to be like a dense protagonist and ignore when a member of my lovers is having problems.” Caught off guard by the statement, Hazeel gave the woman an incredulous look.
“Your lover? Please. If not for Leo, I wouldn’t pay you any passing mind.” Hazeel said, looking down on the woman from her natural height.
However, Vanessa said nothing, instead opting to smile gently and take Hazeel’s tree bark-covered hand in her own.
“You can’t lie to me… well, I guess you can.” Vanessa admitted reluctantly. “But you can’t lie to Leo, and he’s telling me that you’re insecure, and worried, and being overly cautious because you don’t want to offend him.”
Hazeel felt mortified at the revelation, and stopped walking, causing Vanessa to do the same. “He can sense all that through our mental link?”
Vanessa grinned and put her shoulder next to Hazeel’s, prompting her to continue their march back to the base. “Well, he can sense the discomfort you have for me. He’s just a little too tactful to say it that way.”
Hazeel bit her lip, and said, “I’m sorry I don’t have more control over my emotions. It’s embarrassing for someone my age to still behave like a child.”
Contrary to her expectations, Vanessa merely met the remark with kind eyes and a warm smile. “It’s not embarrassing. You’re a person, with your own problems, your own worries, and your own ways of coping with those things. Don’t ever be embarrassed for letting yourself process your emotions. It’s how we process our emotions that makes adults or children out of us.”
Hazeel wanted to cry, for not only was she being calmed by a woman years younger than her on the orders of her lover, but she was also being given a lesson in philosophy on top of that.
“Hey, don’t make that face.” Vanessa said, her smile returning in full force. “Leo and I have been together for a long time now, yes. Will we always love each other? Yes. But does he also love you, the woman who sacrificed everything she had for him in order to become his strength in the Azure and Gold continents?”
Vanessa let the question linger in the air for a moment, before stopping in her tracks, and stopping Hazeel along with her. “He does. He loves you. The only reason I'm talking to you, and he’s not, is because I insisted. We should be getting along… and I know that with everything moving so fast in the other world, we never really got a chance to get to know each other beyond surface level things, so…”
Vanessa bowed to Hazeel and straightened up, bringing her hands to rest below her abdomen. “It’s nice to meet you. I’m Vanessa Kumo, former special agent for the Japanese government, engaged to Leo Jones, and looking forward to spending the night together with you and he.”
Despite her own reservations, Hazeel couldn’t help but return the bow, and smile. “I’m Hazeel, the Conqueror. Former First Coat of Arms, blood slave to Leo Jones, and also looking forward to spending the night with you two. Please, take care of me in the future.”