Silas and I walked slowly into my father's office. It was a large, dark room with floor to ceiling bookshelves filled with spell books and informational texts about various kingdoms. A large map of the entire world of Arrayis hung on the wall to my left, free from markings. A single window made of stained glass allowed little sunlight in on my right.

Father's desk was an organized mess of texts, papers, and letters from the day's mail. A candle holder sat on his desk, allowing a much needed orange glow to wave along the walls. Beneath my shoes was an expensive woven rug my father had received as a gift from the king of Nahara in the capital of T'ahal, an expansive city in the sand dunes of the Arobe Desert, as part of a trade deal from the somewhat recent past.

With my father's chair facing away from us, I let my eyes wander around on the rug, taking in the deep red dyes of the thread. After a few moments, I focused on the candles instead, watching melted wax roll slowly down toward the candle's holder, my mind trying to stay off the impending conversation.

The chair slowly turned, and my father's eyes immediately fell upon Silas.

“I trust you can separate yourself from Kai for the amount of time I need to talk to her,” he said. It was a clear command.

“Yes, sir,” Silas said, bowing slightly before turning to leave.

It hurt me to hear my father talk so bluntly to someone so dear, but I said nothing, for I was as used to it as I would ever get. The door softly closed behind me, my father's eyes unrelenting on my own.

“I have secured you a place in the Seran Army,” he announced, his stare unwavering as he watched me for a reaction. “The Fourth Order of the Mages will be in town in a few short weeks, and you are to join them. They have plans for you. Plans I expect you to be able to handle.”

“The Fourth Order, father?” I asked.

“You didn't expect to get a promotion before beginning your career?” He asked.

“I don't expect a promotion, father. I just expect a taste of combat, and as far as my knowledge goes, the Fourth Order deals in nothing of the sort.”

“Each army is critical to the success of the entire unit. The Fourth Order is currently working on escorting diplomats from Dagmar to T'ahal.”

I hesitated. “How much combat does this involve?”

“Damn it, Kai, get your mind off of combat. Very little, if any. What's important is that the money involved is better than most, since we're dealing with dwarves. They're gullible bastards.”

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“No, they're just more willing to trust,” I corrected him softly.

“Yes. As I said. Gullible.” After a slight pause, my father went on, “I trust you have no objections to these plans.”

I swallowed hard. “Actually, I—”

“Speak up, Kai. I haven't the time for your stuttering.”

“I heard you've talked to Bjorn.”

“Bjorn has absolutely no relevance to this discussion,” my father replied sternly.

“He does, actually, because he spoke to you on my behalf.”

“What are you, a child? Sending men who have much better things to do to me because you're too lazy?”

“That's not what happened. I didn't send him to you. I expressed my concerns, and he took them to you of his own choice.”

“Hmm. Well. In either case, I cannot see how his words to me about you has anything to do with your plans with the Fourth Order.”

“His words to you should have outlined exactly what I felt about your plans for me and your army.”

Anger slowly creased the skin of my father's forehead. “You would waste your life? You were trained by this university, and I expect you to show respect for your upbringing by serving in its army. I fail to see how you believe this is up for discussion.”

“Father, you are the one who is wishing me to waste my life. Sending me to the Fourth Order is not a good use of my skills. It borders on insulting.”

“How stupidly arrogant of you to assume your skills are any more valuable to the army than any other mage,” he seethed.

“How absolutely blind of you to assume they can't be,” I retorted, angry. “I know I have no experience on the battlefield. That's why I desire it. Why waste time sending me on escort missions? Aren't you aware that I might not have that much time to be of use to you?” I spoke of the fears I had of my own mortality. Because no mage had ever before wielded all six elements, it was untested. I was a guinea pig in the studies of magic. My very existence should have been an impossibility. I had the unwelcome knowledge that any day could be my last.

“What time you have left is of little concern to me,” he replied, unaware of how badly it hurt for me to hear him say it. “Regardless, before you are ready for combat, you must be trained in being part of an army, following the orders of your superiors. It is something you have failed at time and time again, so before I can trust sending you into combat, we need to see if you are capable of following simple directions.”

His statement was insulting, and followed too closely to the hurtful words I'd endured from him just before it. Anger sizzled and popped within me from the pit of my stomach.

“I trust your silence to mean that you have no further questions,” he stated.

“You trust wrongly, then. I reject your plans for me, father. I have something else in mind for my future.”

My father sat stiff in his chair, unmoving save for a nerve beside his right eye. “Such as?”

“It doesn't matter, does it? Regardless of what they are, my plans differ from yours. You won't agree with them.”

“You are naïve and juvenile, Kai. Words cannot express how disappointed I am in your decisions.”

“I accept that. Unfortunately, though, father, your approval has not been at the top of my hopes and goals list ever since I found it was impossible to obtain.” I turned, opening the door to the hallway beyond.

“I did not excuse you,” I heard him call from behind me.

I closed the door behind me, calling back, “Yes, I know. I excused myself.”