Novels2Search
The Eldritch Anthropologist
Chapter 1 - Don't Think Too Hard

Chapter 1 - Don't Think Too Hard

Iffy was sitting on the sidewalk, contemplating the nature of humans as usual, when a human started to walk up. This was the exact thing Iffy was looking for, so she was able to understand him immediately.

He was a was a tall, suited man with a worried look on his face. Before he had turned to her, he had been walking quickly. His suit was slightly ruffled, probably from a day at work. Iffy could read the coffee particles coming off of his suit; obviously a coffee drinker. A ring on his finger indicated a wife, further confirmed by the pictures on his phone with a lady and two kids. Also on his phone was his personal information. He was 31-year-old and named Ryan Stewart. He worked at a boring number-based job, he weighted 164 pounds, he had 110,593 hairs on his head, his gut acidity was 1... Iffy learned every detail about Ryan before he spoke up.

"Are you lost, kid?"

Iffy turned her head and focused her eyes on Ryan as he spoke up, as was polite, and responded. "Do I look lost? What about me made you think I'm lost?"

Ryan chucked a bit and gave a slight smile. "It's not a big dea, if you lost, you don't have to worry about it. This is a nice neighborhood. Are your parents around?"

As always, the human went off on a dizzying side-tangent before asking a question in response to her question. Another strange aspect of humans she hadn't quite figured out yet, but it had happened enough times that she could take it in stride. "I don't have any parents."

Instantly, Izzy could feel stress hormones flood Ryan and worry cross his face. He took another look around the empty street. "It's not that you don't like your parent, or anything, you don't have parents?"

Izzy gave a nod. She was quite proud of this movement; it had taken a long time to understand what it meant.

"You sleep on the streets?"

Izzy had been resting before Ryan had approached her, so close enough. She nodded again.

A brilliant interplay of chemicals and electrical signals lit up inside of Ryan's head and body. This beautiful sight was one of the reasons Izzy had set down on this path. Why, in response to certain noise and visual stimulus, did humans light up like this? Why did they hum and haw and think and fidget? Why did this human think so much harder than the last human that approached her? This is what fascinated her.

Finally, Ryan sat her down and asked a few questions about her situation. "You really don't have parents? Nobody related you could stay with?"

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Izzy nodded. Of course she had no relatives, she appeared spontaneously in the Beyond.

"Are you hungry at all? Are you good with food?"

Izzy shook her head. She had no need to constantly maintain her body like humans, though it was quite fun to bit into things.

With a heavy voice, Ryan started speaking. "Ok, what I think I can do is set you up with a youth shelter, that is, if you want. I'm sorry I can't do more."

"It's ok, I don't need a place to sleep. Could you answer a few questions for me instead?"

"If you don't want to go anywhere with me, I get it, I understand. I can for sure answer some questions for you."

"Great!" Izzy gave a beaming smile. "Are you trying to help me? Why are you trying to help me? Why did you approach me?"

"Uh... Um, well..." Ryan started. "I approached you because you looked lost and I wanted to help you. Hm... you have every right to be suspicious of me, but I really am just trying to help. I just can't help that much because I need to go home. I- uh- some people are waiting on me."

Fascinating. "Why did I look lost? Why should I be suspicious? Humans seem to be suspicious of each other all the time, why do you think that is?"

Ryan seemed taken aback. He pulled away a bit and stared at Izzy's face as if looking for something. "You're asking some big questions where little miss. Um, you... I guess you just looked lost. I don't know how to describe it. I guess your parents weren't around. As for suspicions, that's an even harder question. Have you heard of stranger danger? It's the idea that you should mostly only trust people you already know. There's are some bad people out there, that's why people are suspcious."

Izzy looked close at Ryan. "Why are there people waiting on you?"

Ryan paused for a second while giving Izzy a quizical look. There was something off about this kid. "I'm sorry kid, but I really got to go." He started walking away.

Frustration bubbled up inside of Izzy. Whenever she got to the really interesting questions, humans always got weird and left. Ryan was a jerk! With that thought, Ryan, all of his chemicals, electrical signals, proteins, and structure was annihilated and vanished from existance.

The frustration leaked out of Izzy and she gave a sigh. She'd done it again and used her powers in frustration. There was more to be learned from Ryan. She could've followed him, or watched him, or forcefully read his thoughts. Also, whenever Izzy interacted with a human's family members, especially kids, humans always set off a brilliant electrochemical firework.

She created an emotional human body for herself a long time ago, but she still hadn't been able to master the strange emotions that directed her.

Fortunately, with her powers, any mistake could be rectified. She set to finding similar realities to the one she was in. Izzy poked a small hole in reality to jump through and into the next. She was excited to repeat the interaction and performing further analysis, this time.

Izzy was lucky, after only a few jumps, she found an identical Ryan. Well, this Ryan was almost identical. This Ryan had only one kid in this reality, but that only one number that was different out of the countless other numbers that composed a Ryan. That wouldn't change anything.

"Surely, such a small change wouldn't change anything," Izzy thought to herself.

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