“How are you doing?” Ash ran her hand along the back of Sam’s head and squeezed his shoulder.
“As good as you are right now, I expect.”
The hospital waiting room had to be one of the loneliest and saddest places in the entire facility. Worried people gathered there to await news, hoping with all their hearts for the best, but knowing deep down that their world was about to change forever. Two other people sat in the waiting room, a middle-aged man and a girl no more than ten or eleven at his side. They wore matching expressions of worry, though the girl busied herself with toys that had been in the waiting room longer than Sam had been alive. The man watched her with a sad, unknowable expression on his face.
Sixteen hours ago, the ambulance brought Alice Dyer to the hospital. Sixteen hours Sam had been waiting for answers. Ash had been waiting even longer.
“Thank you for taking care of Barkley.” She bumped his shoulder with her own.
The ambulance’s sirens had brought out the neighbors. Trailing the stretcher that carried his mom, Sam had maintained enough sense to ask the neighbor girl, Janiece, to watch over Barkley.
“What the fuck is happening—” He cut off when someone sat down in the chair across the aisle from them.
“Oh, hello there,” the old woman said. It took Sam more than a few moments to recognize the little old lady from the thrift shop. Luckily, Ash remembered her name.
“Hey, Dottie.”
“It’s nice of you to come visit Judy. She’d appreciate it.”
Ash tensed beside him, no doubt feeling guilty for not visiting her old friend. He couldn’t blame her, though, not after everything that had happened with her dad. Sam hadn’t spared Judy a single thought until this moment.
“Actually, we’re here visiting my dad and his mom.”
“Oh, you poor dears. I’m so sorry. Is everything alright?”
“They’re unconscious.”
Dottie’s back was as bent as a question mark, but right then, it straightened. “In comas? Same as Judy?”
“No.” Sam’s voice was more forceful than he intended. In truth, he didn’t know what was going on with his mom. They were still waiting for test results, but he didn’t want her to be in a coma.
“Dear, dear. What is going on in this town?”
Sam stiffened at the question. That’s exactly what he was going to ask Ash when Dottie walked in.
“Maybe there’s a gas leak in town,” Ash suggested. “Like in the shop.”
Dottie shook her head, her little feet kicking as she scooted forward in her chair. “This is just like what happened in Dunwich.”
“What happened in Dunwich?” Ash and Sam asked at the same time.
“Don’t you remember that couple I was telling you about the other day?”
Sam looked to Ash, at a loss for words. He didn’t remember speaking to Dottie at all. Ash’s brows furrowed. When she spoke, the words came slowly. “The couple who died.”
Dottie’s mane of white hair bobbed. “Yes! A couple of poofs in Dunwich died just a few weeks ago.”
“Poofs?”
Dottie waved a hand that looked more like a withered chicken foot. “Gays. Homosexuals. I can’t keep up with what they’re calling themselves now.”
This was going in the direction of one of those “Okay, Boomer” conversations that Sam would rather not be around for. Dottie didn’t seem to notice their discomfort and continued.
“There was a couple of old poofs in Dunwich, not much younger than I. They didn’t get out much, but when the mail started to pile, the city went in and found them. One of them dead in bed. The other had fallen down the stairs. Both dry as raisins like they’d been there years instead of days. Still no idea what caused it other than they had some weird skin condition.”
Sam couldn’t help but lean closer. “So, what, you think that whatever killed those guys is killing people here in Elsbury?”
“If not that then what?”
“But Dad, Alice, and Judy aren’t dead. They’re in a coma.”
Dottie nodded like Ash had just proven her point. “The poofs in Dunwich had been in comas. When they did the autopsy, they found that both were malnourished and dehydrated.”
Ash wasn’t convinced. “You said one of them fell down the stairs.”
“Maybe he woke up disoriented and fallen.”
“But that—”
Dottie threw up her hands. “I wasn’t there, was I? I’m just telling you what I heard on the news.”
Ash’s lips pursed like she wanted to disagree further. “But the police said it was a gas leak that put Judy in a coma.”
Dottie laughed and had to clutch her mouth to keep her dentures in. “Gas leak? The pilot light at the store hasn’t been lit in two weeks. Judy’s been so busy she hasn’t fixed it yet.”
“Then why did they say it was?”
“Men. They can’t stand not knowing. Especially doctors. The more education, the more they don’t like not knowing.” She glanced at Sam apologetically.
But Sam wasn’t listening. “Can you excuse us for a second?” He grabbed Ash’s arm and stood, dragging her out of the waiting room.
“Where are we going?”
Sam ignored her and led them down the hallway, reading the signs on the walls. Finally, he pulled her into an empty room.
“What are we doing in the chapel? Don’t tell me you found god?”
“We’re not here to pray.” He walked her to the front pew and tugged her into sitting beside him. “We need to talk.”
“We could’ve talked in the waiting room.”
He shook his head. “Did you hear what Dottie said?”
“Don’t tell me you think there’s some sort of virus going around putting people in comas. You think a pandemic is causing this?”
“I don’t think it’s as simple as a virus.”
“What do you think it is then?”
“I think it’s the curse.”
Incredulity laced her voice, and she cackled. “You really think that some painting from the 1800s is causing people to go into comas?”
“How would you explain it then?” Sam jumped up from the pew and started pacing. “How else can you explain so many people having accidents and going into comas? What are the chances?”
“And you think it’s more likely that some magical painting is to blame? That’s more likely than, I don’t know, some scientific explanation?”
“Can you come up with a scientific explanation?”
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“No, but that doesn’t prove anything. And it certainly doesn’t prove that there’s a supernatural cause for all this.”
“What are the chances that my mom, your dad, and Judy all fall into comas within a day of each other?”
Ash was silent for a moment. “I don’t know. Really unlikely? But still, Sam—”
“I know!” he said, frustration lacing his tone. He scrubbed his eyes with his palms, growling in frustration. When he looked at her, he could barely contain his fear. “But…what if it’s true?”
Ash couldn’t meet his gaze, and her eyes lingered on the various religious symbols around the room. A Star of David. A cross with Jesus on it. She picked at her cuticles—something she only did when she was anxious or worrying. Finally, she looked at him.
“I’m not saying it is real…” Sam stayed quiet, nodding along. “But, and this is a big but—and don’t you dare make the obvious joke—if it is real, then I guess it’s better to be safe than sorry.”
“Meaning what?”
“Meaning I’d rather take the chance of looking like a fool and be right than do nothing and be wrong. With that said, what do we do?”
He dropped into the pew beside her. “The painting said that the couple needs to…to cleave before the full moon.”
“The new moon,” she corrected. “What? I remember it being a new moon specifically because… Well, you know.”
“The books.” Sam’s voice was flat.
“You’re not gonna give me crap about that now, are you?”
Sam sighed. “You’re right. Not the time to get into your terrible taste in vampire fiction.” Ash issued a low growl, but he continued. “Okay, so the couple must cleave before the new moon. How long does that give us?”
Ash already had her cell phone out. The screen lit up as her fingers swiped across the screen. Within moments, she had the answer. “The new moon is this Thursday.”
“Four days. That’s enough time, right?”
“Enough time for what, exactly?”
“To cleave.”
“And by ‘cleave,’ we’re assuming…” Her voice trailed off, waiting for him to pick it up.
Sam sucked in a quick breath. “To…have sex?” He turned toward the large wooden crucifix to hide his blush. Thoughts whirled through his mind. If the curse or blessing or whatever was real, and he and Ash unleashed it, did that mean that they were the couple?
Does that mean…
Ash leaned forward to look at him, but he pretended like he was studying the crucifix. “You know what this means?”
His stomach turned to cold jelly. Did she just realize what they needed to do? “What?” He wouldn’t be the first person to say it.
“You’re going to have to fuck Veronica.”
“What!?” Sam leapt to his feet again, nearly tripping on the pew’s leg. That definitely wasn’t what he had been thinking.
“Randy’s out of town. You’ve been pining after Veronica since freshman year. You’re gonna have to lay the pipe like your mother’s life depends on it.” Despite the circumstances, mirth danced in Ash’s eyes. “Because it does.”
Sam slumped into the pew like he’d melted. He wasn’t sure if he was excited, relieved, disappointed, or terrified. He couldn’t lie, getting with Veronica had been the most played out scenario in his spank bank for years. On the other hand, he had all these new thoughts and…feelings for Ash. And then there was the fact that this all started with the two of them. True love’s kiss to begin…that was what the painting said, and that was when things started going bad. Since they were the ones who kissed, did that mean they had to be the ones to have sex?
The thought sent equal amounts of terror, anxiety, and elation through him. He was still unsure about his feelings for her. He wasn’t sure if he’d gotten over her years ago, if he had a crush on her, or if he was just confused and had the world’s biggest pair of blue balls.
But she was right. Sam had been pining after Veronica for a long time. And he definitely wouldn’t be the one to suggest that he and Ash had to end the curse themselves. She had a boyfriend…and she’d never shown the slightest bit of interest toward him.
She’s right, and Veronica is the safest bet. Actually…Speaking of safe bets… He dropped his head into his hands and groaned.
“Don’t be such a baby. It won’t be that bad.”
“That’s not it.” His voice was muffled under his hands until he scrubbed at his face and looked at her. “We’re operating under the assumption that we just need to have sex to end this thing, right?” Her eyes flashed and he hurried to add, “That one of us needs to have sex, right?”
She looked at him through squinted eyes before finally nodding. “If you’re thinking about hiring a working girl, I don’t think we have any of those in Elsbury.”
“I’m not talking about hiring a whore!” A gasp had them turning their heads to the entrance of the chapel. An older woman with one hand on a metal cane and the other on an IV stand stood there, glaring at them with righteous indignation.
“Wait, that’s not what it sounded like…” But the old lady already turned and tottered off.
Ash was doubled over in her seat, laughing. Sam scooted next to her and dropped his voice.
“I’m talking about Mrs. Murray.”
“I don’t think she has sex for money, Sam.”
“Aargh! No, listen. Something happened earlier…” Sam spent the next five minutes telling Ash what happened at the Murrays’, and then the next ten minutes convincing her he was telling the truth. When she finally relented and said she believed him, they lapsed into silence.
He didn’t know why, but waiting for her to say something was just as bad as waiting for the doctors to give him news about his mom.
“So, you’re telling me that he actually said that? About the concealed carry permit?”
Sam’s mouth dropped open. “That’s what you’ve taken out of all this?” He had originally omitted a few details. Mrs. Murray giving him half a hand job and Mike’s exclamation, to be specific, but Ash had known he was holding something back, and she badgered him until he relented and spilled all the sordid details.
“Credit where credit’s due. It’s not just anyone who could come up with a quip like that when they’ve just seen their mom getting railed.”
Sam spluttered. “I was not—! We were not—!”
Ash laughed so hard tears streamed down her face. “Oh, man. Your face! I wish I had a picture of it. No! Actually, I wish I had a picture of your bare, soapy ass booking it out of there.”
“Ash!” Sam slumped into the pew and prayed for death.
Her howls of laughter plagued the room for minutes. Finally, the gales of mirth receded into chuckles.
“Are you done?”
Ash wiped tears from her cheeks, her face flushed. “I guess—I guess you could say…that the hedge wasn’t the only bush in the front yard today!”
“Gods, give me strength.”
The chapel echoed with Ash’s laughter once again.
“Okay. Okay, I’m done.” Small chuckles interrupted every other word. “Sorry, I’m done for now.”
“For now?”
“Oh yeah. Don’t think for one second you’re going to live this down any time soon.”
Sam groaned in despair but sat up. “Okay…about Mrs. Murray—” Sam shot Ash a sharp glare, but her face twitched only once. “She seems like a sure thing. She’s probably the safest bet, right?”
“You sound like you just want an excuse to fuck Mrs. Murray.”
“I do not!”
“I’m just saying…” Ash held up her hands, a grin stretching one side of her mouth.
“If I wanted to fuck her, she’d be well and truly fucked.”
“Jeesh, someone’s a little cocky.” The grin took to both sides of her mouth this time.
“That’s not what I meant, and you know it.” He crossed his arms and tried not to sulk. “She’d been all but throwing herself at me for years now. All I’m saying is that if I really wanted to, it would have happened already.”
“You got pretty close today.”
Memories flooded Sam’s mind. Mrs. Murray’s bikini, the water gushing down her naked body, the heat of her breasts pressed against him. He shifted uncomfortably in the pew and cleared his throat. “Today was different. Before she was content to leave it at veiled come-ons and suggestive outfits. She was… It was like something came over her.”
“I think she was looking for someone to come over her.”
“Haha.”
“Setting aside the cougar’s motivations, it would be a solid plan.”
“Would be?”
Ash nodded. “Yep. Unfortunately, the Murrays are going to Aspen for Spring Break. They asked me to keep an eye on the place.”
“That was before their son caught his mom with my dick in her hand.”
“Thanks for painting that lovely image”—Sam blushed and turned away—“but I think Mrs. Murray’s proclivities were news only to little Mikey. She’s been my neighbor for ten years. Trust me, yours isn’t the first dick she’s held out of wedlock.”
“Dear lord, Ash…”
“You started it.”
Sam waved it away, wanting more than anything to move past this horrifying conversation. “Okay, so where does that leave us?”
Ash jumped to her feet and brushed imaginary dust off like she was readying for work. “That means it’s time to sack up, put on your big boy panties, and go fuck Veronica to end this curse.”
“Jesus. You really know how to suck the fun out of things.” Sam shook his head, exasperated. With much less verve than she showed, he got to his feet. “Besides, how am I supposed to go from the guy who’s barely said a word to her for six years to getting in her pants? We only have four days.”
“Don’t sweat it. I’ll take care of it. I’ve got a plan.”
“Why do you seem so eager for this? And what do you mean you’ll take care of it?”
Her smile stretched ear to ear. “This is exciting!” Her squeal reverberated a hundred times throughout the chapel. “Even if the curse is bullshit—which it most likely is, and by that I mean it definitely is—this means that massive boner you’ve been lugging around for Veronica will finally get taken care of.” Before Sam could protest about how that was the wrong thing to focus on right now, she continued. “Also, Veronica has a…let’s call it a reputation. It shouldn’t be that hard to set you guys up.”
“What, you’re saying she’s a whore?”
“‘Whore’ is a strong word. Let’s just say she takes charge of her sexuality.”
“That doesn’t sound much better.”
“We don’t have time to dissect your antiquated misogynistic notions of proper female sexual behavior.”
“I didn’t mean—”
“No time! C’mon, let’s go get you laid.”
Sam didn’t have the heart to argue his merits as a feminist. Ash rushed from the nondenominational chapel with a smile on her face and a pep in her step. If nothing else, it was the first time he’d seen her excited for something since she got the call about her dad.
Okay… Time to save the world and bang a girl.