There’s nothing like waking up with a concussion. My head felt like it had been split open and prodded with hot pokers. Thankfully, wherever I had been relocated was pitch black, but it wasn’t so nice when I rolled off what I assumed was a bed, fell into the floor, and threw up. I couldn’t feel any other damage, but it was hard to say with the ongoing pounding inside my skull. Since my predisposition for quick healing hadn’t kicked in yet, I concluded I had only been here a short while, and my kidnapper probably hadn’t gone very far from the diner.

Once my double vision started to clear, the blobs around me smoothed into real shapes. I had fallen off a rather tall bed, and while I wanted to do nothing more but to climb back into it, I forced myself toward the nearby wall for standing support instead of risking a coma.

When I could stand, I began searching for a light switch or a lamp that would illuminate my surroundings. Finally, I located a table with a pull string Tiffany. Thankfully, for my head, it only put out a dim light common for old antiques. Even so, the glow sent another painful throb into my head and made my eyes sting. What did that guy hit me with? A wrecking ball?

The lamp wasn’t the only antique. Now that I could see my surroundings clearly, I noted an old lady must have taken me to ransom to pay for her kitschy knick-knack collection. Fat luck, there was no one alive to bargain with. However, if I had to be kidnapped, there were definitely worse places to be taken hostage.

As overflowing as it was, the room was still a lavish one. I could probably fit my entire apartment along with my neighbor’s inside it. The bed was one of those four posters complete with curtains I had only ever seen in movies. There were tapestries and paintings hung on every surface, and I could only imagine the price tag of all the antiques lining every table and shelf.

When I was done gawking at my pricey prison, I figured I might as well try the door, but it was locked. While a locked door normally wouldn’t present a problem for me, even in my weakened state, this one came with a fun toy surprise inside. It was bolted shut with steel bars, and when I attempted to relieve the door of its hinges, I instead damaged my hand and my pride a little bit when I realized I didn’t even make a dent. My kidnappers had clearly taken precautions, so either they knew who I was or were already paranoid.

With plan A now in the garbage, I decided to retreat into the attached bathroom. The only thing I could do now was wait for the door to open, which I assumed would happen eventually unless their plan was to starve me to death. Plan B was to stick my face under the faucet and drink up. Dehydration after a fist to the head was a bad combination. I wouldn’t make it that easy to take me down… again.

~

The hours ticked by with no indication that anyone else existed outside of this room. I initially decided to wait in a crouched position just out of the door’s eyesight with a heavy object in my hand, so I could attempt to bash in the skull of anyone who came in. After the first couple of hours, where I was immensely grateful for not skipping leg day, that plan was called off. Then, I resorted to pacing, and eventually, I was cursing the owner of this hovel for being more concerned with priceless heirlooms than installing a TV.

“If you wanted to bore me to death, congratulations!” I yelled to anyone who would listen, but most likely it was only to the drapes.

I was lying on the bed counting the number of butterflies in the metallic tapestry on the ceiling when I finally heard the click. I bolted straight up and could see the bolts being pulled back from the door frame. In my haste to leave this level of purgatory, I darted at the door only to remember I wasn’t armed. My kidnappers obviously knew I was here, but I grabbed the statue from before to avoid giving them every advantage.

There wasn’t really any need for quietly creeping into the hallway, but my nature protested making a showy entrance in an enemy lair. The hall was mostly dark except for the line of windows allowing the moonlight to flow in. It almost seemed like a perfect escape, but I quickly caught on to the catch. There was nothing by wilderness all around, and I was multiple stories high in what could reasonably be described as a fortress. Is this guy Dracula? For now, I would wait to break the glass with the statute in my hand until it was my only avenue of escape and see if this hall would lead to a better, less attention-grabbing exit.

I made it maybe 100 feet when the walls began talking. “If you’d be so kind as to set down the statuette, it’s older than your entire family combined–including those in their graves.”

There had to be speakers lining both sides of the wall and maybe even the ceiling because I couldn’t pinpoint the exact location of the voice. My supernaturally enhanced eyesight also could not make out any wiring or cameras. So much for being stealthy.

“Yeah, I don’t think I will,” I replied and gripped the mini goddess tighter in my hands, ready to swing away at any moment.

“It really would be a shame to lose her. What if I promised you no harm?”

“You’ll have to forgive me, invisible man, but I’m not going anywhere in your haunted mansion without some sort of protection. And as it seems like you frisked me while I was unconscious, perv, and took my actual weapons, you shouldn’t mind if I borrow something of yours for now.”

The story has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.

“All right, what if we play a game?” came the voice again, but this time just from directly in front of me.

“Yeah, I’m not really into bloodletting.” Because who else would have locked me up here and only came out to play at night but a vampire.

A laugh sounded in response, still only coming from the speakers somewhere in front of me down the hall. “But it’s a very easy game, and if you win, I’ll trade you the statue for your weapons.”

This guy had to be out of his mind or thought I was. “So you, Lucas, and whoever else you have stashed away can tear out my throat? Hard pass.”

“Fair point, but really, if I wanted to kill you, I could have done it several times over by now. You are in my home, which is heavily guarded by the way. If you weren’t already aware, there are cameras picking up your every movement. I could easily sneak up on you at any point, but I haven’t. Aren’t you curious why not?”

He had me there. This was a no win situation: play his game and probably get murdered, try to work my way out of here until he gets bored and probably kills me, or he lets me wander in this maze until he decides to lock down the place and leave, causing me to starve to death. Maybe if I followed him to his trap, I could at least see what I was up against and maybe go down swinging.

“Well, do you want to play or not?” he spoke once more through the surround setup buried in all the surfaces.

“Ok, what’s the game?” I conceded.

“Simple, I’m Polo. Come find me Marco.”

~

I could not believe I was going along with this. “Marco,” I called out, knowing every step was probably closer to my death. It’s not like I don’t face vampires regularly, but it’s usually on my terms not theirs. This was idiotic, but what other option did I have.

“Polo,” came the voice from the loud speaker. Only this time, the sound was coming from somewhere on the hall to my right instead of all around me.

“Marco.” I mean who knows if he’s even leading me to where he is. I could very well be walking into a dragon lair. Vampire, dragon, same difference I guess. Both would swallow you up and not think twice about it.

“Polo, polo, polo,” echoed further down the same hall. Jackass had turned on the reverb, and it eerily mimicked the sound from those ‘80s horror movies.

“I’m not sure who told you, but imitating psycho killers is not the way to a girl’s heart. Maybe the dumb ones from those movies who never seem aware that they’re being stalked, but I’m fully aware you could be lurking behind any of these doors.”

“Now, now,” the voice came from all sides again. “If you don’t play the game, you don’t get your prize.”

“I think you and I have very different definitions of prize.” With no exits in sight, however, I decided to press on with this pointless charade. “Marco, you happy?”

“Polo,” he said, “and yes, I am very amused at the moment.” The focused speaker came from a door on the right side of the hall. I don’t know which was worse, staying in the hall where anyone could pop out at any time or entering a room with no idea who or what was in there.

“Well what are you waiting for?” the voice prompted behind the door.

“Just deciding if I’m ready to die,” I answered ready to make a run for it but grabbed the doorknob anyway. I pushed the door open, and it didn’t lead to immediate death but, “You’ve got to be kidding me,” I blurted out without thought when I saw the dark stairway leading down to who knows where.

“Polo,” said the voice from somewhere at the bottom.

“Do you like your meal to have an aroma of fear?” I asked in an attempt to psych myself into heading down, but the only response that came this time was another, “Polo.”

“Seriously?”

“Polo.”

I grunted loudly in frustration, but took the first step on the stair landing anyway. There were zero lights leading the way, so I had to depend solely on my heightened vision and reflexes. The stairs creaked under my weight, which made me move down faster. The bottom offered no light, but my watcher apparently could still see me because he called out another, “Polo.” It wasn’t that big of a surprise as vampiric vision was better than mine, but it did make me worry how closely they were observing my activity.

The latest call came from somewhere in front of me towards the left. I could see large shapes presumably lining the nearby wall, but there didn’t seem to be anywhere to go in that direction. My puzzlement must have shown through because I received a rather exasperated, “Polo,” in response.

“Um… there’s a wall here, and last time I checked I wasn’t a ghost or some other creature that could walk through solid objects.”

“Haven’t you ever seen a murder mystery movie?” The voice finally elaborated when it became clear I wasn’t going anywhere. “Maybe try moving a book or turning over a lamp.”

“That would be an excellent suggestion,” I answered, “if any of those things were actually here.” I felt the wall and the nearby shelf for a hidden latch that would reveal a hidden doorway. My eyes hadn’t been playing tricks, though, there was nothing. After staring at the dead space for a few more moments and growing more disgruntled at the repeating Polos sounding from the space, I decided it was time for brute force.

I ran sideways at the wall-length built-in with all my force and fully expected to come away with a second concussion. Luckily, the speaker had been telling the truth and the wall slid over to reveal arched double doors.

“Polo,” the voice sniggered. “That was probably overkill,” he managed between laughs.

“It did the trick, didn’t it?”

“I believe this is your final polo. Enter at your own risk.”

My mind quickly zipped through numerous scenarios. Run up the stairs and keep running. I could still use the heavy figurine to shatter a window and make a dive for freedom. What if he wasn’t alone, but what if he is and I couldn’t overthrow him. There were too many unknowns to make any real actionable plans, so I did the only logical thing and opened the door.

The room was so bright it took my eyes a second to adjust from the pitch blackness behind me. In the middle of a circular room, there was a single chair with a man I’d never seen smiling up at me.

“Who the hell are you?”