Reva was sleeping on Hazel’s portable medic bed. Hazel had been scanning and inspecting her because of all the blows to the head.
“I think it’s only a grade 1 concussion.” she said. “She should be fine by the time she wakes up.” Saffron breathed a sigh of relief and lied down. Shiso was spinning the barrel of his revolvers, as if he was going to play some kind of gamble with them. Suddenly, Saffron’s stomach began to growl at clamorous volumes.
“Um, do you have anything to eat, Haze?” Saffron asked. Hazel smiled.
“I might have something laying around.” she replied. She yanked a multitude of metal pieces from her hip pouch that all expanded into different pieces of kitchenware and machines. Finally, she pulled out an all brown apron and ditched her hip pouch.
“I didn’t know you cooked.” Saffron said. Hazel shrugged her shoulders.
“It happens. I can’t eat scrap metal.”
“So, how are you going to cook without food?” Shiso asked from the side. Hazel walked over to her hip pouch and pulled out a couple boxes of rice and some raw chicken packs.
“Like that.” Hazel said.
“How does that even work?” Shiso asked, narrowing his eyes. Hazel gently rubbed her chin for a minute.
“I bought it on the black market a long time ago. I think it’s some weird magitek. It pulls whatever I need from wherever, so I can’t pull out something that doesn’t exist or anything that has since been destroyed. I also can’t pull live animals out; I can store them though. Anything I put back gets put into this weird pocket dimension thing.” Shiso rubbed his temples.
“That explanation gave me a headache.” he said. “You could’ve just said Mary Poppins’ purse.”
“It’s so much more than that, Shiso. It’s my Mary Poppins purse.” Hazel gestured for Saffron and Shiso to come over. “Come on guys, get up. I’m not cooking alone. Let’s get to work.” She tossed Saffron and Shiso aprons to wear. Saffron’s was white and read “Life needs a little spice!” in purple cursive. Shiso’s was a dark blue that read “Killer King'' in cursive red.
“What am I gonna do?” Saffron asked.
“You’ll season the chicken.” Hazel said, already boiling a pot of water. She then pointed to Shiso. “You’re the dishwasher.” she said plainly.
“Hey, don’t you have a dishwasher crammed somewhere?” he complained.
“Yes, but it’s faster to wash them by hand. Just wait at the sink.” Shiso grumbled as he leaned against the sink. He inspected around the sink, not seeing any pipes coming out.
“Hey, where does the water come from?” he asked.
“Patented secret.” Hazel responded, not turning around.
“Alright, where does the water go?”
“That’s also a patented secret.”
Shiso continued to inspect the sink in an attempt to see how it worked. Meanwhile, Saffron got the chicken out to spice.
“Hey Haze, what do I spice this with?” Saffron asked.
“Oh yeah. Sorry, forgot about that. Here, use this stuff.” Hazel leaned across the counter and grabbed into her hip pouch, tossing something to Saffron without looking to see what it was.
“Thanks.” Saffron said as she caught it. She looked at the package; it was a typical plastic cylinder container that most spices came in. It was all red except for a picture and some writing. It read, in big white letters, “Succubus Spices, guaranteed to make any eating time a hot one!” and had a picture of a woman with horns on her head and small wings on her back wearing only an apron, who was winking and holding a finger to her lips, as if asking Saffron to keep a secret.
“What’s up, Saff?” Hazel asked, seeing the look of hesitation on Saffron’s face.
“This makes me… disturbed on an emotional level.” she said, holding the container for Hazel to see. Hazel laughed hysterically at it, thinking it was a funny looking product.
“Here,” she said, passing Saffron the hip pouch. “You can get something.”
Saffron reached into the pouch and pulled out a container that was an entirely white container with big red letters that read “Incubus Spices, guaranteed to give your food a bang!”. Saffron threw that one back and grabbed the other container to use.
“What’s wrong?” Hazel asked. Saffron had a weary face on.
“I was just led to question if humanity is worth saving because of a couple of spice bottles. I think I’ll let you pull out the food for now.”
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Saffron, Hazel, Reva, and Shiso all sat around a campfire while eating their chicken and rice. It was nearing midnight, but Saffron seemed to be the only one who was tired. The rest of the group was telling jokes and laughing while she was trying to not sleep face first in her bowl.
“Hey, kid. You doing alright?” Shiso said, nudging her. She had a zombielike face late at night.
“Yeah. I’m just tired.” she said.
“It won't hurt if you sleep for just a bit, Saff.” Hazel said, mouth full of food. At the sound of that, Saffron put her bowl to the side and layed back on the ground.
“No, I don’t suppose it would…”
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Saffron was sad that Shiso had woken her up after she had gone through the bother of going to sleep in the first place. To his credit, there were weird robots and mutant creatures in the middle of their stride when he woke her.
It had only taken minutes for Saffron, Shiso, Reva, and Hazel to decimate them all before there was just ashes and some blood left.
“Is anyone hurt?” Reva asked. Shiso lifted his cape, which had a few holes in it.
“No, but now my blue clothes look like molding cheese.” he complained.
“Good. They match your sense of humor.” Hazel remarked while walking by.
“You wanna-”
“GUYS!” Saffron shouted. Everyone immediately got on high alert and drew back out their weapons and spells.
“What?!” asked Shiso.
“Treasure!” she said, gleefully pointing to a chest laying on the ground.
“Is it a mimic or something?” Hazel asked. Shiso fired all six of his rounds at it, but the only thing that he actually did was put six bullet-sized dents in it.
“I think it’s fine.” he said.
Saffron approached the chest cautiously. It was a typical personal storage chest that had a slight purple glow on the outside. She tapped the button on the front of it and the lid lifted itself up and split into two before separating out and laying back down. Inside was just one simple object that the group stared at.
“It’s a hammer?” Hazel said, disappointed. “Lame! I’ve got plenty of those!”
In the box was an engraved sledgehammer that looked like it had about a third of its handle cut off. Although, the handle was entirely leather and had a lanyard at the end.
“Psh. Whatever.” Saffron said, also a bit disappointed. “At least it looks cool. I’m taking it with me.” Saffron reached to pick it up, but nearly fell down when the object wouldn’t even lift a bit off of the ground.
“You alright there?” Hazel asked, chuckling.
“Yeah, I just gotta get a good grip on this thing.” Saffron was trying with all her strength to lift the hammer, but it wouldn't come out of the box.
“What’s so hard about it?” Shiso asked, pushing Saffron aside.
“Rude!” Saffron complained. Shiso was about to try lifting the hammer when he noticed something on the side of it that he couldn’t make out in the shadow of the box.
“Hey, can you get a hammer and bash that box’s walls in?” Shiso asked Hazel. Before she could even pull out a hammer, Reva went over to the box and removed the walls of it with her bare hands.
“Done.” she said. Now that the walls were gone, they could clearly see an inscription on the side of the hammer, which Shiso read aloud.
“Whosoever holds this hammer, if they be worthy, shall possess the power of Thor.” All of them went silent.
“Like, the god Thor?” Hazel asked.
Stolen content warning: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.
“How many Thor’s do you know?” Shiso asked.
“I dunno.” she said. “Maybe I knew one in like 4th grade. If that’s Thor’s hammer, it makes it Mjolnir, right?”
“The gods don’t exist, idot.” Shiso said.
“That still doesn’t explain why I can’t pick it up.” Saffron interjected.
“Not worthy?” Shiso suggested with a smile.
“I’ll show it who’s not worthy!” Saffron tried to lift it again with all their might, but once again couldn’t even make it budge.
“Come on, Saff. You’re just not worthy.” Hazel laughed, shrugging her shoulders.
“There’s gotta be some trick or something…” Saffron pondered. She lifted the bit of the chest that Mjolnir rested on; it lifted no problem except for the regular weight of the hammer. Once Saffron touched the handle though, the weight increased exponentially and it slammed into the ground.
“Interesting experiment you’ve got going on there.” Hazel remarked. Everyone except Saffron was just sitting down for a break. Reva’s gaze seemed fixed on Mjolnir though.
“Shut up.” Saffron sneered. “I need an industrial scale. You got one in your magic pouch?” Hazel reached into her bag and pulled out a rather large scale.
“Here you go.” Hazel said, giving Saffron the scale. She once again picked up the box parts under Mjolnir, but set it on the scale. It read 42.6 lbs. She popped her knuckles and attempted to lift it. Instantly, the number skyrocketed to 1,789.59 lbs, then after another second it rose again to 75,687.27 lbs; another second had it rise to 3,201,559 lbs before Saffron let go, at which it dropped back to 42.6 lbs.
“Those were some pretty high numbers.” Shiso said, amused. Saffron was silent for many minutes, doing heavy thinking and math in her head before she snapped her fingers and looked very disappointed.
“Well, I figured out its trick at least.” Saffron sighed. “Every second it seems to increase exponentially, which I think could probably be modeled as its initial weight to the power of how long you try and hold it.”
“I don’t do math.” Shiso said plainly. “Explain in normal terms.” Hazel laughed.
“It means the longer you try to lift it, the heavier it gets.” she said, poking Shiso in the back of the head. “Unless you’re worthy, that is…”
“If I’m not worthy, I doubt you are.” Saffron judged.
“We’ll just see about that.” Hazel smiled. She wrapped the lanyard around her wrist and pulled on the hammer with a gloved hand. She was straining to lift it so much that Saffron thought she could see a vein throbbing on her forehead. She finally let go and started walking away.
“Where’re you going?” Saffron asked.
“If we can’t lift the damn hammer, I’m not gonna stick around.” she huffed. Saffron chased after her.
“You coming?” Shiso asked Reva, who had been sitting there silently.
“Are you going to try and lift it?” Reva asked.
“I don’t need a hammer for me to know that I’m not worthy.” he laughed. “But if it’ll amuse you,” Shiso went over to Mjolnir and tried lifting it, but he just struggled as the scale showed the hammer increasing in weight. “Told you.” he said, letting go.
“I just wanted to know.” she whispered.
“I’m gonna go catch up with them.” he said. “You should join soon.” Shiso ran off to catch up to the other girls. Saffron jumped back onto Shiso’s back, nearly breaking him in the process. It appeared that she was planning on taking another nap.
Reva walked up to the hammer and put an armored hand on it. She closed her eyes and took a breath in before pulling up. The hammer groaned as it shifted ever so slightly; a spark flew out from the end of the handle. Soon after, Mjolnir grew impossible to move again.
“I guess not.” Reva said to herself. She looked back over to the group and saw Saffron already asleep again on Shiso’s back. She ran off to join them, ready to continue their trek to Eden. Meanwhile, the hammer sat dormant, but gave off one final defiant spark out into the air.
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“Kid, get up. You’re heavy.” said a muffled voice.
Saffron woke up to an over the shoulder view of Shiso, who was straining to keep Saffron carried on his back.
“Shiso!” Reva said, gasping. “You should never call a lady heavy! Where are your manners?!” Shiso sighed and helped Saffron onto her feet. He looked at Reva with a tired expression, as if he’s done this before.
“Why not? I’ve been called heavy plenty of times. I believe in absolute gender equality, so I have no room for your female privilege.” Reva looked ready to fight Shiso before Saffron interjected.
“Where are we?” Saffron asked.
“On the edge of something very nasty.” Hazel replied. Right in front of them started a thick, dense forest that looked darkened and misty on the inside.
“That looks like a bad decision. Can’t we just go around?” Saffron asked.
“Yeah kid; you go around and we’ll meet you on the other side.” said Shiso, pointing at the boundary line for the jungle that expanded acres.
“Fine; I’m coming.” Saffron said, still sleepy.
They started walking, but quickly stopped when they noticed that they were easily drifting apart. The jungle stopped effective means of staying together, so they figured the best way was to follow in a single file line.
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Saffron was stuck at the back of the line, but she was so sleepy that she knocked into Reva whenever they stopped. Eventually, she just started sleepwalking forward; she was woken from this when she once again hit something.
“Reva, I’m sorr-'' Saffron stopped her apology when she realized that she had not stumbled into Reva’s armor, but instead she had bashed her head into a tree.
Saffron looked in all directions to see if she could spot her companions, but the mist and jungle density made it impossible to see more than a couple feet in front of her. She started shouting to try and find her friends.
“Hazel! Shiso! Reva!?” she shouted. Saffron wandered around shouting, treading as carefully as possible. She was getting desperate when she heard a voice behind her.
“Saffron, what are you doing?” asked a tranquil, sedate woman’s voice. Saffron turned around to see the vague outline of a woman in the distance. She was hard to make out in the thick fog, but Saffron thought she recognised her voice.
“Do I… know you?” Saffron asked gingerly. The woman gave a gentle laugh.
“Oh Saffron, have you forgotten us already?”
Gradually, Saffron began to see more outlines around her. Some were men, some were women; some were tall, some were short; some were thin, some were stout; some wore lab coats while others wore hoods.
“Who… are you?” Saffron asked fearfully.
“Saffron! Is that how you greet friends now?” boomed a stern gentleman’s voice to her left. Saffron recognised it as a college professor who taught her.
“Saff, you’re not still that thick in the head, right?” said a childhood friend.
“Didn’t I teach you anything?” complained another teacher.
“Can’t you recognise me?” said a coworker, spitefully.
Saffron was beginning to break down, seeing all hearing all of these people once again spitting insults and complaints at her. Their vague outlines growing more defined as Saffron’s fear magnified. She could even see detailed facial features on them, down to their wrinkles.
Suddenly, Saffron heard a booming gunshot in the distance and saw a burst of red sprinkle the sky above; it was a flare. Saffron wasted no time booking it past the figures and running for the origin of the flare. The voices called her back into the misty depths.
“Where are you going, Saffron?”
“Saffron, stay with us!”
“You can’t leave; we just got here!”
“I thought you loved us!”
Saffron screamed and ran from the apparitions, now crying while trying to escape them. Suddenly, one of them grabbed her ankle and held an impossibly firm grip. She turned back and kicked the man’s head with her free leg, but it just passed through him and had her falling to the ground.
“The past doesn't die, Saffron.” he said, looming over her. “It just comes back to grip you in the cold of the night.” The man was now gripping Saffron’s throat while the rest crawled their way to keep her bound to the ground.
“Northwind!” shouted a voice behind Saffron. Suddenly, a gust of wind blew so fiercely that even Saffron had to hold on to something so as not to get blown away. The apparitions let out a ghastly shriek as their bodies were swept away in the wind, eventually disappearing altogether.
“Kid, you alright?” asked a familiar voice.
“Can’t you ask a different question for once?” Saffron said, painfully.
Shiso helped Saffron up and helped her quickly walk through the jungle.
“When did you learn wind magic?” she asked Shiso. Shiso grumbled.
“Like, ten minutes ago. Believe me when I say that the price almost wasn’t worth it.”
“Are the others safe?”
“The little Tinkerer’s already out. I still need to find the mobile tank.” Saffron guessed he was talking about Hazel and Reva respectively.
Suddenly, another apparition appeared in front of them both, but said and did nothing. It was a woman in a similar garb to Shiso. Her hair was impossible long though, as she was using it in place of a scarf.
She said nothing and nodded at Shiso, who nodded in return. She then put her finger over Shiso’s mouth, as if telling him to keep a secret. After that, she disappeared, with her mist scattering everywhere. Shiso kept walking with Saffron, and she thought it was probably best to not bring it up anytime soon.
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Saffron and Shiso were almost to the exit when they heard the clear ringing sound of metal clashing against metal. Saffron and Shiso rushed over to the source to see Reva in tears holding her shield up, defending for her life. She was being attacked by a man in silver armor and a golden edged red sword.
“Where were you when I needed you, huh?” the man said in rage. The man also wore a red cape and had light red hair. He was even more clearly defined and detailed than Saffron’s own ghosts. What made the man really scary though, was the bright red glow that filled where his eyes should have been.
“Y-you’re not real…” Reva said gently. The man yelled in rage.
“I’m not real? I’m not real? Is this real enough for you?” With every syllable, he hammered the sword down on Reva’s shield, spreading a cascade of sparks.
“You worked so hard to be everyone’s shield, but you couldn’t protect me!” He yelled again, looking and speaking like a madman. Shiso pulled out his gun and shot at the man, allowing the bullet’s passing to create a small hole in his head.
“Northwind!” Shiso shouted, once again invoking the sweeping wind. In response, the man plunged his sword into the ground, allowing him to not blow away. He slowly stood up and took a few steps towards Shiso, who was trying as hard as possible to increase the spell’s power output.
Reva rushed forward and swiped through the man, scattering the mist and allowing it to be blown away without problem. After the man was blown away, only his sword remained; it looked cemented into the ground. Reva looked at it, then turned away, wiping tears from her eyes. Shiso put his hand on her shoulder.
“Hey, are you gonna be alright?” he asked. Reva sniffled a bit, then sighed.
“Yeah, I think so.” she said with a small smile.
“Good, because I need someone to carry me.” he said just before he fell right over, taking Saffron with him.
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Hazel was getting anxious, waiting outside for the three of them. She was about to run back into the jungle before Reva emerged with Shiso and Saffron both on her shoulders. She gently let both of them down and helped them onto their feet.
“You guys really had me worried.” Hazel said, scratching the back of her head.
“I’m just glad to be out.” Saffron said with a sigh. Reva stood silently, staring into the sun on the horizon.
“Well, all of that is over with and behind us.” Shiso said gratefully.
“Actually Mr. Shiso, I don’t think our business is over yet.” said a voice behind them.
Out from the jungle came a woman in a green dress with a big white merchant’s backpack over her shoulders. She had red eyes, brown hair, and held a syringe in her hand. She had a sadistic smile on her face as she took a few steps closer.
“If I’m correct, our business is only beginning.”