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The Dying Detective
Talking Shop with The Ingénieur

Talking Shop with The Ingénieur

After a turn off the main road and then another the detective and Mister Barnaby found themselves in front of a garage at the street’s end. Like the storefronts of the market street, a large sign stretched across above the entrance.

Casper’s Mechanics and Tinker Shop

A bell rang, alerting anyone in earshot, as the detective and Barnaby walked through the front door. A woman with short black hair and oil-stained overalls popped her head out from underneath an old jalopy.

“Detective!” The woman disappeared back under the old car before springing up from the other side and jogging to meet the detective. “Well shit, if it ain't my favourite private eye. It’s been too long. You gotta drop by more often. Here to see Percy, I assume?” she asked.

“Afternoon Cassandra, perceptive as always I see. I’m here today with Mister Barnaby, my present client. I was hoping to make use of Percy for some last-minute preparations. Is he in?”

“How do you do?” Barnaby said.

The female mechanic lightly batted at the detective with the oily rag she held. “You’re never here to see me,” she pouted. “The Great Detective has no need for England’s best mechanic? You know you’d be getting a fantastic discount. Plus, priority service on the house just cause I like you.”

“Oh, I don’t think your services are worth anything less than full price my dear,” Kipling replied.

She punctuated her howling laughter with the wiping of a tear from her eye. “Okay, okay. Be careful, Mr Chivalry, or I might hold you to that. Percy’s in the workshop like always.”

“Thank you, Cass.”

“Anytime, Kippers”

The workshop was a congested organised mess. Rows of machines and apparatus occupied two of the walls. Another was stacked top to bottom with cabinets and drawers. The last was home to busy work counters and hung tools.

Some pieces looked normal enough, saws, drills, hammers, and the like. But others were clearly more magically inspired. There were Machines plated with copper held up by wooden benches with assorted carved runes running down the legs and tools topped with gems giving off a faint humming glow.

In the centre of it all was a young man hunched over one of three surrounding rolling worktops. His overalls matched Cass’s, only less dirty. A harness on his head carried with it adjustable lenses on metal arms.

“Fuck me, Kipling, it’s been a dog’s age. You had me worried you’d bit it or something. Who else is gonna buy my shit? I was thinking of opening up an Etsy page if you didn’t come round again soon,” Percy said.

“Don’t even joke Percy. You know how dangerous it would be for any one of your gadgets to make its way into Frack hands. I could report you like that-” He snapped his fingers. “-for selling without the proper licence. That being said.” The detective’s face lit up with an electrified smile. “What have you got for me?”

Percy rushed to rearrange and reorganise his worktops into a display counter for his one-of-a-kind inventions.

“Oh and I’m looking for something to assist in an infiltration,” the detective said.

“You planning a heist? Some real movie shit, crawling through air ducts, hanging from the ceiling, dodging lasers?” Percy asked as he zoomed around the workshop.

“No nothing so bold this time around. I’m going to pull off a reverse kidnapping,” Kipling told his tech dealer.

“Cool, cool.”

Spread across the counters was a display of curated tools custom made by the brilliant young man. Each one was a genius amalgamation of magic and technology.

“A’ight so, I guess a couple of these could be useful. The rest are just fucking dope. Starting over here you’ll find The Pickpocket's Compact.”

The item had the appearance of a thick-rimmed emblazoned mirror about the width of a stretched out hand.

“The short version is it’s a small short-range portal. It’s a bit tricky to handle. Might work best with two people. Mirrors on both sides, as you can see. Use this side to aim where you want the portal to come out. Dial it in with the slider on the side, and push the button to lock it in.”

As he explained, Percy picked up the mirror and flipped it around once or twice to show his audience. One side lacked a normal reflection. Instead, it mimicked the other sides reflection, like you were looking straight through it.

He pointed the mirror at a bare spot on the wall and used the slider to zoom the image in, further honing in on the target. With a click of a button, a hole opened up on the wall and connected to one side of the mirror. The other side held an image of the target even as it was being moved around.

“And like that, one side is now a portal to your target. You can sorta use the other side to see what your arm is doing even when you break line of sight. It just - takes some - practice to pull off.”

He continued his live demonstration as he threaded his arm through the gateway. Using only the mirrors second side, he struggled to reach for a hung up tool and bring it back with him.

“Effective range is as far as you can comfortably see in the mirror. About ten meters maybe?”

Kipling took the mirror and the tool from Percy’s hands. He took a minute to examine it from all angles, testing its viewfinder and targeting. Having played with it long enough, he used it to put the random tool back on its place on the wall.

With childish enthusiasm, the detective said, “This is nifty without a doubt. It’s adorable really. But are you sure it’s not too niche?”

“Nah, nah, see here’s the best bit. It can work through glass and other transparent surfaces.” As Percy continued his voice and movements took on a theatrical flare. “What’s this? You need to break into a place but it’s locked with magic and you ain't got the key. Well, lucky lucky that happens to be a door that’s real easy to unlock from the other side. Saddle up to the nearby window and viola. Easy access. And it doesn’t have to be your arm that goes through. You imaginations the limit for how you could combine it with other gadge.”

“Alright, what’s next on the inventory?” the detective asked.

“Right, so, next up we have the Floating Spell Relay. This little flying orb drone can double the effective range of any spell. That I’ve tried at least. Sync it up with this adhesive pad. Just make sure it’s on your casting hand. The signal’s a bit spotty if it’s anywhere else. Go on give it a go. Swipe the pad to get it going,” Percy said.

This book's true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience.

The detective fixed the conductive pad to the back of his hand and ran his fingers across it. The cream white orb whirred to life and began to hover above the table.

“You can command it to move by thinking like any other levitation spell. Then just point and shoot, or whatever,” the ingénieur said.

With natural ease, Kipling guided the drone around the room. “How about we add some additional light to the room hmm? Light!”

A panel slid open on the baseball-sized orb and from it shone a beacon of light. With subtle gesturing, he could make the light brighter or dimmer. And with a snap, the light would change colours.

“I can’t applaud myself enough on that one. Utter craftsmanship. I fit so much shit into that tiny little chassis. Practically silent with the sound dampeners. And how long do you think the battery can last? Might as well be forever. I rigged the battery with a mana converter,” Percy said.

Barnaby piped up. “This is all very impressive but should we really be putting my niece’s safety in the hands of these untested kid’s toys?”

“How rude!” Percy said.

“I’m well aware of your concern and frustration, Mr Barnaby, but oh please do put a sock in it. All of my tools were at some point in time ‘untested.’ You could do with having a little more faith. If all else were to fail, I’d simply act unaided. I don’t however wish to as it would be an increased pain in my arse,” Kipling said.

With a wave of the detective’s hand, the little drone flew over to Barnaby and relayed the detective’s desire to silence him magically. The client could only stomp over to a countered wall and lean against it, arms crossed.

The detective flew the drone towards his face and let out an uncharacteristic squeal as he tried to peer inside. “Ooh if only I could take you apart and see this feat of engineering for myself.”

“Buy it and you can do the fuck you want to it. But~ I thought you might feel that way so I also maybe jotted down some schematics. Not like me to be so considerate, I know. They’re all yours with the purchase,” Percy said.

Barnaby’s stare of disappointment was starting to burn a hole in the side of the detectives head.

With a flick of his wrist, the detective undid Barnaby’s silence. “Oh fine, If we’re boring you, Mister Barnaby, why not see how Cassandra is getting on. I’m sure she’d be happy to oblige with a spot of tea and a chat. That should keep your mind off things.”

“I think I will,” Barnaby said before marching off.

“Keep the ball rolling Percy.”

***

Cass had finished whatever work she had been doing on the old car and was now writing something up on a clipboard when Barnaby reconvened with her.

“Oof that’s a glum look you’ve got. Tired of the two man gadget review?”

“Something like that,” Barnaby said.

“Come on, let’s have a cuppa and chill out for a bit,” she said.

Cass shepherded the sullen man into the shop’s office area. The chairs were comfy if a little infirm. The room was quiet. The low gurgling boil of the kettle, the ringing clink of mugs, the rounded steamy sound of hot water being poured; all could be heard to their fullest appreciation. The sound alone could warm many a Brit’s soul.

“So what’s got you in a frump?” Cass asked as she handed Barnaby the hot mug.

Barnaby let out a long sigh before responding. “I don’t know. It’s just. My niece is in serious danger and all we’ve done this afternoon is eat, drink, be merry. And now he’s back there gawking at toys like a child. I just wish he’d take the situation more seriously.”

“He’s got a plan right?” she asked.

Barnaby stared down into his tea as if to divine the answer. “I-I think so but-”

“No buts. So he’s got a plan. It must depend on some time frame. Otherwise, he’d have done it already yeah?”

Barnaby had no response. He kept his head down and gently brushed the side of the warm mug with his thumb.

“So it seems like, to me, he’s spent his time wining and dining his frack client so’s to keep that sad sack distracted and stop him from worrying so much. Even though his client has every right to worry. You think I’m wrong? You know something better he should be doing?” she asked.

“Guess not.”

“And as for those ‘toys.’ They might not make or break Kipper’s success. But Percy’s gear can really cut him some extra slack.”

“That weird camera setup did help us figure out what had happened pretty quickly,” he said before taking another sip from his mug.

“The one with the projector?” she asked.

He nodded.

“I remember that thing. The two of them spent weeks fiddling around with it, trying to get it to work. It was almost impossible to properly test too. Places with a lot of magic traffic are too saturated for it. I’m glad it found its purpose,” she said with a warm smile.

Cass’s smile was short-lived as a grim expression slid across her face and the bouncy energy her legs once had died down.

“I know his childish side can be annoying but give him some patience. I think he needs it.”

“Needs it?” he asked.

“To, like, remain detached you know? It’s a tough job. If Kippers admitted to himself he’s as emotionally invested as he is for every case, every victim. I think it’d build-up, break him. He’s got, like, two faces. You might have seen it. There’s the one he wants you to see. That smug, brash, excited, childish genius. Then there’s the other.”

“The other?” he said.

“The one that’s tired, old, world-weary, almost cold. It’s in his eyes. I’ve only seen eyes like those one place else. My brother after he returned from his last tour with the armed forces. He lost a lot out there and he was never really the same. He died a few months later - car crash - he was driving drunk. It pisses me off that the thing I remember most is him staring off with those stupid cold eyes. You might think Kippers is scary smart now. But if he ever looked at you in full earnest with those eyes. That’s when it’s truly frightening.”

She shook her head violently like she was waking from a bad dream. “Shit, sorry. I forgot myself for a minute there and mouthed off unnecessarily. You didn’t need to hear that. Here I am s’posed to be cheering you up.”

“It’s quite alright,” Barnaby said sheepishly.

The corners of her mouth pinned themselves back uncomfortably. “Yeah, yeah. I don’t know how long you’ll be around for but as long as you are, have his back. You got that? Don’t let him do anything too reckless. He might have a miraculous track record but he ain’t no man of steel.”

Barnaby nodded with determination. “Yeah, of course.”

It wasn’t long after that Percy and the detective arrived at the office chatting about integration matrices and flux capacitors or the like.

“Mister Barnaby, feeling better I assume, a little more mellow now?” Kiping asked.

“Y-yes, sorry about my previous behaviour Detective.”

“Quite alright. Quite alright. Nothing to be sorry about. Our business here has concluded. It’s time to get serious, Mister Barnaby. It’s due time we rescue your niece. We could take the bus to our destination but it would be quicker and safer to leave hidden space and blink to an entryway nearby. You think you can stomach the journey, yes?”

“Yes!” Barnaby barked.

Cass’s bubbly demeanour and energy had returned in full force.

“Just because you’ve mastered blink travel doesn’t mean you have to abuse it so much Kippers. This is why you never need a star mechanic. I swear anyone else and they’d have lost a limb and learned their lesson. But not you,” she said.

“Oh, nonsense, I keep a perfect mental map of the city. I could teleport into the tightest crawlspace with a margin of error down to but a half-inch. Besides, how do you know I haven’t already learned that lesson? Perhaps that’s why I’m so confident in my abilities.”

Kipling’s eyebrows bounced up and down with the smuggest of grins. Cass could only roll her eyes at him.

“Whatever cowboy.”

Percy swung his arm into a tight shake with the detective. “You tell me soon as you can how the new gear works out for you, promise?” he asked.

“I promise, Percy.”

“Alright come along Mister Barnaby, no time to waste,” Kipling said as he readjusted his bag and began to stroll to the door.

“Uh, pleasure meeting the two of you,” Barnaby said as he jogged to catch up with the detective.

“And you. Oh, and you better be looking after that maid of yours Kippers! I don’t want you dragging her in here with excuses about why she’s behind on her routine maintenance! I’ll have your ass if you do!” Cass yelled.

“Perish the thought!” Kipling replied in volley as he exited the building.