The ocean waves were fierce on this day, they rocked our boat causing it to tilt from side to side. If you didn’t have your sea legs yet, you’d have a tough time walking around in these conditions. This was mother’s favorite time to train us, of course. I must’ve been fifteen at the time, standing on the main deck of the ship ready to spar with my opponent; Rya, my only sibling. Despite being three years younger than me, she was more than an even match. In our hands were practice swords, Rya held hers behind her back to taunt me. It worked. She had this sly smirk on her face, the kind of look that said ‘I’ve already won.’ I wanted to embarrass her in front of everyone. Mother looked down at us from the quarterdeck, she was the captain of our vessel; The Wayfinder. She was always wearing her naval officer’s coat, it was blue with red highlights along the sleeve cuffs and shoulders. The gold trimming would shine in the light of the sun. She had a powerful aura about her, one I didn’t see in many people.

“You start when I say go.” She commanded.

I focused on my opponent and readied myself, entering the fighting stance I was taught; I bent my knees slightly, held my sword in my right hand and aimed it at Rya like I had something to prove. It was clear she wasn’t phased, she had a loose confidence as she swayed with the ship as it tilted. Her weapon still behind her back, her eyes narrowed into daggers.

“Go!” Mother shouted.

Rya didn’t take a step or move her sword, she was waiting for me this time. So be it. I charged forward hoping to overwhelm her with early aggression, I went for a lunging attack at her. She sidestepped my strike, twirling her sword while it was behind her back and made a sudden swing from her left. I didn’t have time to process that she had switched her sword hand to confuse me, but I managed to block her attack leaving me in an awkward position. It left me wide open for another. This was Rya’s plan, to catch me off guard and exploit my weakened defense. In a vulnerable position, I had no choice but to throw myself five feet away from her. While evading her, I stumbled and nearly fell, but I managed to catch myself.

This time she was the one charging at me, I had just enough time to ground myself and block the flurry of swings and stabs she sent my way. Everytime our swords connected, the wood made a loud TAP sound. I’d block her attack, she’d dodge mine and we entered a sort of rhythm. Each of us trying to trick the other, while anticipating every feint and parry. TAP. TAP. TAP. She kept aggressive, pushing forward more and more. I realized at this rate I’d bump into the wall of the quarterdeck if I kept backing up.

Rya looked like she thought of me as prey, trapped and ready to kill. I decided to play into that. I rushed back to the wall and placed my foot against it. When she went for the kill, I pushed myself using the wall as leverage and dodged her attack. I had her wide open, I readied my swing and went for the finishing blow. That’s when a wave hit the ship causing it to tilt, the momentum knocked me off balance and my swing hit Rya’s ponytail and not her head.

I stumbled and repositioned myself with the sway of the ship, but that was enough time for her to close the gap and smack me in the arm and again in the chest. I tried to parry and riposte but she moved so nimbly that I couldn’t catch her. I was back to blocking her attacks, with barely a hit on her. TAP. TAP. TAP.

The more I struggled against my little sister, the angrier I got. I did my best to attack her mid strike but she was reading everything I threw at her. When I missed my swing, she tapped my chin with the wooden tip of the sword and that sent me over the edge. I gritted my teeth and started to put my anger into aggressive swings. Rya blocked with her sword, but I put enough force into my attack to knock her on her ass. Without relenting I struck her hand, causing her to lose grip of her sword. Defenseless, I drove my weapon into her chest victorious.

“That’s enough!” Mom shouted as she approached us. “Help your sister up.”

I stood over my sister and smirked at her, this time the confident one. Rya begrudgingly took my hand, letting me pull her to her feet. Rya grabbed her training sword and stormed off, head down and hands at her side, looking petulant. Mom now stood next to me.

“I won this time.” I gloated proudly.

“Barely.” Mother retorted. “Had this been a real fight, you wouldn’t have lasted long enough to overpower her.”

“Okay, well next time I’ll do that at the start.”

“And if you rely on that, you’ll only be able to beat your little sister. You’d best hope another boy doesn’t challenge you.”

I felt the surge of victory leave me, I sulked. Mom was right, Rya was the better fighter in every way, I just bullied her with my strength.

“What am I doing wrong? Why do I suck at this so much?” I asked her, fighting tears as embarrassment came over me.

I was reminded of every loss I’ve taken. Every technique that people on the crew tried to show me and I struggled to execute. Every time I saw Rya learn those techniques and execute them like a pro. All I ever wanted since I could walk was to someday fill my mother’s shoes, wear her coat and be the captain of The Wayfinder, but deep down I knew I wasn’t worthy. Rya was, she had everything I struggled to attain, and I resented her for that. It felt good to beat her down and make her feel weak, but it was fleeting.

Mother put her hand on my shoulder and I felt the tension in my body go away. She looked me in the eyes, her look wasn’t judgemental or cold, there was passion and understanding in those eyes.

“You’re only a boy Cassian. You can’t expect to be Gareth Wolf’s Bane overnight!” she ruffled my hair and laughed. “You want to know how Rya keeps beating you?”

I nodded yes.

“You fight with the sea and the ship. When the deck tilts left you go right. When it tilts forward you go back.”

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“I’m trying not to fall!”

“Yes, but you have to go with the flow and trust yourself. When the tides come, don't resist them. Move with them, and you’ll never lose your footing.”

I didn’t say anything, I took in her words of wisdom and decided I would live by them.

“I have to check on your sister.” She said, and walked away to find her.

Two days later I was up early on the deck of the ship training. After mom’s speech to me I was inspired and I wanted to put her advice to work. I was doing my routine on the deck when a crewmate approached me, it was Mason. I always liked Mason, and apparently mom did too because he was the first mate. If anything happened to mom, Mason took charge until she could resume her duties. Mason was in his twenties, black hair that he kept short and a stubble. Real ladies man kind of guy. I looked at him like the older brother I never had.

“What you doin’ Cas?” Mason asked me.

“What’s it look like?” I jeered at him.

“Training alone, something you shouldn’t be doing.”

“Why not?” I said, still sparring with the training dummy.

Mason caught my training sword mid-swing, making it look easy.

“Because you turn your mistakes into bad habits.”

I looked fiercely into his eyes, challenging him. He didn’t flinch, I guess a kid really wasn’t to be feared. “Then train me!”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“I’ve got responsibilities, there’s more to life at sea than practicing your parry and riposte.”

Mason yanked the sword out of my hand as he walked past me, frustrating me.

“Hey, give it back!” I shouted at him.

Mason stood there, his back facing me and didn’t respond. I figured he was ignoring me.

“Hey asshole I want my sword back!” I continued trying to get his attention.

“Cassian…” Mason spoke but with all the friendly banter gone.

I felt a chill go down my spine, and that’s when I noticed what he was looking at. Over the horizon a dark storm cloud loomed in the near distance. This didn’t make any sense, it was supposed to be clear weather for the next few days. I could hear the rumble of thunder.

“Get your mother.” Mason ordered me, his voice stern.

Without hesitation I ran across the deck and to the captain’s quarters, I knocked on the door. From inside I could hear my mother's haggard morning voice.

“This better be important.”

“Mom, there’s a storm outside.” I said through the door.

“What? How?”

The door swung open, mother wasn’t wearing her full naval uniform yet. Instead she was in a white tunic and brown leather pants. Her sword was at her side though, she was always prepared. I turned and pointed at the storm, but at this point it had traveled in mere seconds and was now right on us. The sky above was swallowed by darkness, cold rain starting to pour down on us and lightning beamed across the sky. Mason was already taking charge, yelling orders at the crew as they rushed to their positions.

“Go get your sister.” Mom ordered.

I felt a chill go down my spine, my gut told me something was horribly wrong even if I didn’t know what. I made my way from across the deck, dodging crewmates twice my size running from one place to another. As I made my way to the stairs that’s when everyone’s attention was turned to it.

From the ocean a massive creature emerged, its long serpentine neck rose above the ship and looked down at us like we were bugs. Then another head rose from the sea as well, and then another, and another. Soon all seven of the monstrosity’s heads were staring at us. Its teeth were massive and sharp, protruding from their mouths. Its scales were blacker than the night itself, no light reflected off them. It didn’t attack us, it just stood there. We were paralyzed in fear and astonishment. I noticed that unsettled me, the creature had no eyes but it definitely was watching us. Each face had a toothy grin like it was smiling. I felt an indescribable fear, nothing I’ve ever witnessed has come close to seeing that - that thing with my own eyes.

The hydra dropped one of its necks on the deck of the ship. The impact knocked everyone off their feet and severely damaged the hull. I slipped and fell down the stairs, as I hit the floor in pain I could hear my mother shout commands at the crew to fight back. I was in pain but I couldn’t stop, I pulled myself to my feet and kept looking for Rya.

“Rya!” I called as loud as I could.

She didn’t respond, which frightened me more. I could hear the thunder, the explosive cannon fire and the roars of the beast. All of it was so loud, maybe Rya just couldn’t hear me over the noise. Or maybe I couldn’t hear her. As I walked through the hall, I looked down and noticed the ship was flooding. Water had filled the room above my ankles and was rising quickly. I ran to the hold and found my sister. She was under pieces of wood that must’ve fallen on her when the hydra attacked the ship.

“Cassian!” Rya screamed in a panic.

I ran over to her. “I’ll get you out!”

I tried to lift the debris off of her, but it didn’t work. The wood was too wet and slippery to get a grip. I wasn’t going to give up though.

“Someone help! Please! My sister- please help us!” I screamed at the top of my lungs, enough to make my throat bleed. Nobody heard my cries, nobody came to save us.

It was then I noticed that Rya wasn’t screaming anymore. Her head was now completely submerged under the water. I had to act fast, so I dug deep within and gave every ounce of strength I could possibly use to lift the debris. I felt like my body was going to break in half, but I was confident I could go beyond my limits and save Rya.

I was wrong. The wood didn’t budge.

As the realization came over me that I was too weak to do anything, the wall of the ship was broken apart by the hydra. Everything in the room was sucked out into the sea, including us. It was freezing cold in the ocean depths. I swam in the dark, practically blind, desperately trying to find out which way was up or down. In the corner of my eye I caught a flash of lightning, it was brief but it was enough to guide me to the surface. I swam up, and lightning flashed again. For a moment I could see the wreckage that used to be our ship, our home. Amidst the broken wood, sails and rope I saw Rya’s lifeless body floating in the water.

That was the moment time stopped, and my life ceased to continue. Then I heard a voice shout my name, it didn’t belong in this memory. The sound was enough to cut through the fog of my dream and rip me back into reality.