The current cradled the Gem of the Waves with its rough waters as the ship entered the open Abyss sea. Koda watched Wildeye meditate from a stack of crates. The wolf hadn’t spoken to him for nearly two weeks since their battle against Michael, nor had he approached her either. Dark thoughts stewed in his head, simmering, ready to turn to a boil.
“You wish to say something to me, Koda? Speak your mind,” Wildeye finally said. She didn’t bother to break her meditative state, not even opening her eyes.
Koda flushed with embarrassment to be caught watching his familiar. He was unsure if now was the time to communicate. He thought that they lost their friendship. At the very least she was still mad at him. Well, he was still angry with her too.
“You were supposed to have my back in that duel, but you disobeyed me!” he said.
Wildeye’s neck fur furled up in agitation. She broke her eyes open, both flaring with anger and magic. “Disobeyed you!?” She snapped around to face Koda. “Am I just some dog to you!?”
Koda jumped off the crates, unafraid to step up to Wildeye. “No, you are my familiar and you were supposed to be my partner. I thought I could count on you,” he spat. “But I was wrong.”
Wildeye curled her lip and balked her head. “Is that what you think?”
“Ever since you became this” - Koda gestured to Wildeye’s body - “this thing, you’ve been against me using the Magi at every turn!!!”
Wildeye stepped closer to him. “Koda, you don’t need the Magi. It fouls the mind and influences your decisions.” She raised her voice, bludgeoning him with her words. “Do you not see that?”
Koda hid his face from her. “It's a gift, something I can take advantage of to win.”
She took his hands in her claws. “Look at me.” She waited for him to raise his eyes. “You are the cleverest man I have ever met. Skillful beyond your years. You do not need a crutch to win duels.”
Koda bit his lip. Wildeye had the wisdom of his grandfather. Perhaps he was using the Magi so flagrantly. He thought back to the Varis War and when he lashed out with the Magi against Athar for betraying the crown or when he slaughtered hundreds with his power. It did poison his mind. It did make him weaker. This was not who he was. This was not what he wanted to be.
The Magi is your greatest tool, Koda, said the dark voice from beyond his mind. When one needs to hammer, they do not use their bare hand. Use your tools to your advantage.
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No. He couldn’t let these dark thoughts manipulate him any longer. He needed to find his own strength. This is what his journey meant to him. Finding his own strength. To stand on his own. To be a leader of the people with the strength of a proper king!
“Do you really mean that?” Koda finally said with a grin.
“Yes! Of course I do!” Wildeye embraced him in a warm, furry hug. “Promise me you will try to not use the Magi going forward?”
“I promise.”
***
Elucard laid across Cade’s lap on the deck of the ship. He looked to the morphing clouds blown by the salty wind. Elucard rested his hand on his bare, scarred chest. His heart always pounded near Cade. He had grown close to him over these last few months. Closer than anyone dared to be with him. Not since he was an adolescent in his Black Rabbit clan had he felt so at peace with himself.
“That one looks like mashed potatoes,” he said.
Cade looked up. “They all look like mashed potatoes,” he said with a chuckle.
Elucard paused and frowned. “Yeah, you’re right.” He lifted himself to sit next to Cade, crossing his legs. “I guess I don’t have the imagination for this sort of thing.”
Cade ruffled Elucard’s blonde hair. “Well, what do you have the imagination for?”
Elucard glanced at his friend. “Nothing really,” he said in a low tone. “Killing mostly, I suppose.”
“Do you have any other hobbies other than bloodshed?”
“My master paints. I thought about trying that or maybe…” Elucard whispered, hiding a smile.
Cade turned to Elucard. A stupid grin drew across his face. “Or what?”
Elucard blushed. “It’s stupid, nevermind.”
“Tell me.”
Elucard folded his arms and looked back to the sky. “I’ve seen a lot of death. A lot of hate. Fire and darkness. My master Legion suggested channeling it all into poetry. Cleanse the soul through words.”
There was a long silence between the two before Cade finally spoke up. “I think that would be excellent for you, my friend.”
They both looked at each other, more silence passed between them. Elucard closed his eyes and swallowed a lump in his throat. Sweat dribbled down his cheek. He felt warm—no, hot. Like the sun focused only on him. Fire engulfed his heart. What was this feeling, this moment?
Cade reached out for him, but grabbed his necklace instead. Elucard looked away, not in shame, just in confusion.
“Cade… I think—” Elucard struggled to get his words out. The chains of his torment and past dragged him into the drowning black waters of his doubts and thoughts. He didn’t deserve this… this chance at happiness. Did he? Could Cade free him? From himself?
Cade shook his head, as if he had his own struggles too, but he caressed Elucard’s trembling face. “Say it, Elucard.”
Elucard bit his lip. Cade is right. I should just screw it all and say it! Say what… I feel.
Elucard began his words again. A simple sentence felt like a journey through Scorch’s longest deserts. Three simple words and he just couldn’t. No, not now. The time wasn’t right. He wasn’t ready. Ready for what Legion had. Ready for happiness. “I…”
Cade clenched his necklace tighter.
“I…”
Just say it!
“I have to go,” Elucard whispered. He rose to his feet and briskly walked away.
Damn.