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Bitter Memories

You would think that waking up in an unfamiliar place would be an experience you would get used to after the third time it happened, but no I can safely say it was not something that was growing on me. I was still cold but it wasn’t overwhelming anymore, it was like I had gone outside underdressed in the winter. I could still feel the chill in my arms and legs but my core was warm and I had a heavy blanket draped over me. I opened my eyes to see her looking down at me with worry and anger.

My head was laying in her lap and her hand was hovering just above my forehead, glowing with a dull fire like light, flickering and warm. Her eyes softened for a moment when she saw me open my eyes before they flicked back to anger and she bared her teeth.

“Do you have ANY idea what you did? Do you understand just how close you were to death?! Did you even think of the consequences of using so much magic!?!” She growled, the hand with that warm glow slapping my forehead each time she spoke.

“You were hurt.” My voice hoarse and weak.

She scoffed and rolled her eyes.

“You think that was the first time I have been attacked by humans? The injury looked worse than it was. I can handle myself. True I would not have gotten through as cleanly without your help but I would have been fine.” She said, her eyes softening with an unsaid thanks.

“But they almost hit your heart!” I protested, sounding pitiful.

She pulled up the side of her tunic to reveal a grisly looking wound just below her ribs, already scarred and closed. The flesh was still pink but it looked fine.

“While water may be the most potent at healing, I have both Fire and Earth at my command. I can heal myself quite capably. But I appreciate your concern.” She said, a small smile forming across her face.

I gave a small nod and relaxed my body, it felt like someone had covered me in rocks. Everything felt heavy and I was exhausted.

“What did I do?” I asked.

“You spent all of your magic. Burned through every reserve you had. Even the one that was supposed to fuel the final stage of the transformation. Pulling a river behind you was no small feat. Had the transformation been complete it wouldn’t have exhausted you nearly as much. A foolish thing to do but you didn’t know. Couldn’t know.” She said, a growl in her voice though I don’t think it was directed at me.

“Does that mean it stopped? The transformation?” I asked, not sure whether it was panic or relief running through my mind.

“No, it was delayed and now…. I am trying to transfer as much of my own magic into you as I can to make up for what you spent.” She said, nodding to the hand that still hovered over me. “Though transfer of Magic is a notoriously slow process. Hence we will be here for a few hours before you won’t be in danger of collapsing from simple movements. But if the transformation begins while you are this depleted… It will not end well.”

“What do you mean by that?” I asked, my heart speeding up.

“The transformation would be only partially completed and…. Well let us say that process should not be interrupted for the sake of your internal biology. It might… kill you if you do not have enough magical energy in your system.” She said, pausing to take a slow breath as she said it.

“W-will you be okay giving me your magic? It's not going to hurt you?” I asked, looking up at her hand with concern.

“No, I’ll be tired for a few days but nothing like what you did. And even if it was dangerous, wouldn’t you rather you live?” She asked, a small chuckle at her own morbid joke.

I stared up at her for a moment before I spoke.

“No. Not if it means someone else died for me.”

She blinked and then looked down at me, eyes scanning my face as a puzzled look washed over her.

“You would be willing to die if it meant someone else did not die for you? Are you a fool?” She asked, anger in her voice.

“Yes, I would be. My own parents died protecting me when I was no more than a few months old. My adoptive mother died because my brothers and I caught the plague and she treated us when the Church wouldn’t. She took care of us and she caught the sickness and died. I don’t want anyone else to die for me!” I cried, my throat cracking from the strain dry and parched as it was.

Her eyes were filled with pity as she looked down at me and it was several minutes before she spoke.

“Tell me, Naravie. Tell me of Sir Siran and his life.” She said quietly, reaching over to bring a mug filled with water to my lips.

I blinked and accepted the water happily before I thought for a moment.

“There isn’t much to tell. My parents, that is my birth parents, hid me away from bandits and got themselves killed. I don’t even know their names. Everyone in my village perished that day. Sir Greyson arrived too late to stop the massacre but he found me, tucked away in my parents house crying for all the world to hear. He took me in and gave me my name. He was the one who trained me, drilled me into the Knight who would become the Royal Champion. He is a tough one to impress but he cared, in his own way. Lady Greyson was the kindest person I have ever met. She was willing to do anything to make sure my brothers and I lived happy lives. They took in Irand when his own parents met their end and Tiran when his parents disowned him. We were an odd little family but it was ours and we wouldn’t give it up for anything.” I felt tears welling up in my eyes as I remembered that I wouldn’t be seeing them again.

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“They sound lovely.” She said, her eyes drifting in long forgotten memories.

“They are but… I don’t want those memories to be ruined by what he might think of me. I don’t even know if Tiran and Irand would accept me.” I said, the tears running down my cheeks.

“They love you. But I understand. I had someone, a long long time ago, that I thought would accept me but then he…” She drifted off, a mix of sadness and anger in her eyes.

“Would you be willing to share?” I asked.

She looked down and stared at me for a long long while before her expression softened.

“I suppose its about time that I told someone this story, and it might as well be my child.” She said, hesitating on that last word for just a moment.

“I was born Prince Natel Vasern of Ecantel. It was a prosperous Kingdom, my Father was a greedy old king but he took care of his people well enough. I grew up with the best tutors and instructors that my father’s near bottomless coffers could provide. By the age of ten I was an expert in most matters that a future King would need to be familiar with and I was among the greatest knights in the Kingdom. I was the perfect heir. Except for one small detail. I hated myself. Every Time I saw myself or heard my name I felt like I wanted to claw my own skin off. I hated it, and for the longest time I couldn’t understand why. It wasn’t until I was twenty-eight when I met someone who understood that self loathing. Someone who could give me some answers and advice. She was Carrina Brightscale, an Elder Dragon though I didn’t know that when I met her. She was simply a beautiful young woman I met in a border town and had a lovely evening of conversation with. She then showed up in the Capital and we had a few weeks of delightful conversation before I mentioned my own self loathing. I hadn’t ever felt like anyone would care to hear of it before and she… she made me feel safe.” The Dragon’s eyes were miles and centuries away as tears welled up in them.

“She told me that she was like me. That she had been born a man and taken the change upon herself… she gave me words to express the things in my heart. I was already a grown man by that time but I felt like a child around her. After that conversation I spoke with my father and he was surprisingly accepting of my desire, mostly because he could ask for a sizable dowry. Ever the miserable miser that one. I spent months and then years speaking with Carrina and she wove a glamour over my body to allow me to at the very least appear as my chosen self. It helped but it was always… lacking. I was thirty three when she offered me her blood. She offered it willingly and happily but told me that I wouldn’t be welcome among humans once the process completed. I agreed to wait until after my wedding with Callax Regunis, the Prince of a neighboring nation famed for its military might.” Her face hardened with rage at the mention of the Prince.

“We carried on for months and it was only the night before the wedding that I spoke to Callax of my plans. He celebrated them, much to my surprise, and he claimed it would be a joyous boon to have a Dragon or an ally. I fell for him hard then, he was a young attractive man and he accepted me for who I was. The day after the Wedding I went to Carrina and she gave me her blood. By the time I reached the final stage of the transformation I was giddy with excitement. When I emerged from the Egg, and yes there is an actual Egg, she was there waiting for me. My Scale Mother. My birth Mother had passed away in childbirth so it was an interesting experience for me to have one of my own. I spoke my name for the first time then and she was so happy. She was the kindest dragon I have ever known and all she wanted was to care for a Hatchling of her own. She was over a millennia old and she had never had one before, and I was determined to be the best daughter I could be. I still wished to spend my time with the humans that I was bound to, my husband not least among them. Once I was ready we flew to the Capital together and she went to the market while I went to introduce myself to my husband.” A shadow passed over her face and I felt the entire mountain shake around us.

“He was waiting for me, alongside my father. They had been preparing for this for years, scheming behind my back. They were ready with enchanted chains, pulling me to the floor of the Throne Room. Intent on keeping me shackled and a prisoner, making me into a Beast of War for their own use. But I was stronger than they gave me credit for. I snapped their chains and escaped, only to find my Mother’s body sprawled outside the Castle. They had used children as living shields to keep her from attacking them and then filled her with Ballistae bolts before she could flee. I saw her and… my magic came forth. The rage of a youngling is a dangerous thing and I was well beyond Rage at that point. I was… Wrath made manifest. My body wreathed in flames, the ground beneath me shaking with all the pain that shot through me at seeing the one I cared for being paraded around like she was some simple hunting kill. My fire erupted through the Capital City. I lost myself to my fury and when I next opened my eyes I was curled up beneath her wing. She was the only thing my fire had not touched, I had turned the entire kingdom into a ruin of Ash and death. I later learned that in my fury I had done the same to Callax's people. I’m not sure how many weeks I spent there, wasting away in my grief. I would have died there if another hadn’t come to me. A friend of my mother, another Elder like she had been. He told me that she would not wish me to waste away and fall here. She would want me to live and love and care. He gave me the title name that I still bear to this day. But together we gave her a proper farewell and I set out to find a place of my own. So I ended up here, far from any humans for so long before your people entered this valley some three centuries ago. I have kept to myself for the most part. Content to let the humans be so long as they did not cause me problems.” She said, finishing her tale with an emptiness in her eyes that I hadn’t yet seen.

I listened without saying anything, just listening and taking in her story. When she finished I waited for a few moments before I spoke.

“What is your name?”

She looked down at me in surprise, as if she had forgotten I was there.

“A Dragon does not give her name lightly. Names have power child, and ours can be remembered for centuries.” She said, softly.

“I cannot simply refer to you as Dragon for all my life can I?” I asked, not forcefully but with a hint of resolve.

She thought to herself for a moment before a smile crossed her face.

“No I suppose you cannot. And I suppose your heroic stand for me against those hunters has earned a bit of my own trust. I am Ereneya Ruinscale. It is a pleasure to meet you, Daughter.” She said, a sad smile on her face as she said it.

“Air-ren-nay-uh. I like it. It’s beautiful.” I said, smiling up at her.

“Thank you, I picked it out myself some eight centuries ago.” She said with a hint of pride, a smile tugging at her lips.

I let out a small laugh as I let myself relax and rest my head on her lap.

“Rest now. By the time you awaken you should be well enough to walk and we can begin preparing the kill you made.” She said, cradling my head with her warm palm.