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The Dog with a Chair
Chapter 24 Lizard Friend!

Chapter 24 Lizard Friend!

It’s strange, what Albert told me this time wasn’t the same as what he originally said when he was teaching me to be a better commander. Perhaps this tool is just meant to be used a different way?

Stanley sat alone in a small clearing surrounded by forest, the occasional bench placed about the quiet area. Quiet at least in regards to foot traffic, with many people not even knowing the area existed, but not so quiet when taking into account the various birds and insects populating the clearing with a variety of noise that blended together into what he called ‘the music of the forest’.

He was pondering the advice that he had just been given by Albert on how best to use the Sea Shell weapon system to his advantage.

Keep it simple huh? That does sound like a good idea. When I think about it, it does seem weird for a single person to be trying to multitask and perform so many roles at once. All the while when on the front lines of a battlefield. It seems inefficient. Good if it works, but like I experienced with the Scorpion, it doesn’t work so well if you face someone who knows what they’re doing, and knows it better than you. I need to specialise, or at least become better acquainted with some basic tools that I can rely upon.

Stanley had decided that he was going to focus on being able to protect himself from damage. To be able to stay in the fight for as long as possible. He continued to review the information in his head, trying to figure out how to proceed.

He laughed when I said I was exclusively using plasma based structures to be an obstacle between myself and my enemies. Apparently having only one type of barrier to protect yourself with is considered bad practice, since if the enemy is able to resist the temperature extremes or dissipate the magnetic field keeping the plasma in place, then you’ve lost. I need to understand the strengths and weaknesses of each barrier, and learn how and when to use them.

He activated the built in user manual, which he was embarrassed to have been ignoring until Albert pointed him to it. A semitransparent blue screen appeared in front of him with a page of text.

‘The Sea Shell is something of an interface which allows the user to tap into a pocket dimension where a pre-prepared array of items exists to be used at the discretion of the user. It also serves as a way of controlling those items, should they be designed with that goal in mind. But it can’t, for example, cause a rock to float for no reason. The rock would have had to be pre-outfitted with propulsion technology to facilitate such an action,’

As a test, he chose a random concrete barrier from the list of stored items and summoned it in front of him. It materialised instantly, part of the structure underground so it wouldn’t just fall over.

No delay. That could be useful. Can I spam it though?

He proceeded to rapidly press the ‘withdraw item’ button. Barriers materialized one after another in response, each one closer than the last.

“Error,” came the system, accompanied by a red screen. ‘Placed object would intersect host’s body resulting in compromised structural integrity. Death would likely result,’ the screen read.

Okay… So I can’t just place these things anywhere. Wait, what if I placed it a little too close and the system gets its math wrong? Wouldn’t I be dead? Stanley shivered at the possibility. Careful. I need to be more careful.

Each of the concrete barriers was 10 centimetres thick, 1 metre wide and 3 metres tall. He continued his experiments, this time testing different methods of withdrawing and returning the items.

The choices available overwhelmed him. Some being movement controlled, others voice activated, some text based, and even options for combinations of all three.

No matter how you cut it, this is probably going to turn into something similar to memorising keyboard shortcuts…

He eventually settled on a pistol shaped laser designator which would show a mostly transparent projection where the object would be placed wherever he aimed the laser.

This one seems the most convenient. But it would be nice to be able to alter its position slightly through voice or text commands. Don’t really want to mess with movement activated stuff, restricting my manoeuvring options seems like a bad idea.

Satisfied with the customizations he’d made to the object placing process, he moved on to other things.

Come to think about it, what’s the maximum range on this thing? I can’t just place stuff on the moon can I?

It was daytime, but Stanley scanned the sky for the white celestial sphere. Finding his target, he aimed at it and fired.

“Error,” the system again said. ‘Target over 100 kilometres from host location (384 400 kilometres). Would you like to teleport within range of the targeted area? Distance suggests an extra-terrestrial destination. Warning: Such destinations usually lack oxygen. Warning: host lacks adequate shielding from solar radiation and temperature extremes. Warning: distances greater than 100 kilometres are prone to inaccurate teleportation. Possibility of being phased into solid objects increases exponentially after this distance,’

He carefully selected the ‘No’ option.

Shouldn’t there be some more safety features installed on this thing? What if I got drunk one day and wanted to see a view from the moon?

Sure enough, after some searching through the options, there were quite a few features designed to make it harder for the user to accidentally make horrible mistakes. He immediately activated all of them.

Did they just not have lawsuits where Albert comes from? Never mind, it’s fixed now at least.

Stanley considered what he’d learned so far, pondering what to do next.

I feel like the main thing I lack is still combat experience. Oh, could there be a simulation option?

He opened up the help screen, and after a quick query input, found what he was looking for.

Better set it to enemies that only know how to attack what’s in front of them, don’t want to get beaten up straight away.

This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.

It wasn’t long before a light orange lizard appeared before him. It had four legs which seemed unnaturally long and held it over half a metre above the ground. Interlocking scales were the source of the orange colour, which seemed to flow like a river from head to tail. The orange creature was three metres long, not unlike a monitor lizard in overall shape. Its blue eyes came up to around his knees.

Stanley waited for it to approach him. But it stayed at the place it spawned in at, 10 metres away.

I know I set it to the easiest difficulty, but this… It does know I’m here right?

Confused by this development, he began walking towards it, studying the lizard from different directions. It wasn’t until he was 5 metres away that its eyes suddenly started tracking his movements. After a few moments of examining its prey, the lizard made its move. The reptile briefly bent its legs and sprang towards him.

Stanley struggled to get a concrete barrier up as the orange creature sailed through the air towards him, its blue eyes watching him with sardonic glee as he fumbled with his defences.

No sooner had he gotten the barrier deployed when he felt a dozen sharp puncturing sensations on his neck.

“Failure,” came the distant male voice of the system, followed by the sensation of his neck being bitten in half fading away.

Stanley observed the lizard as it slowly fell to the ground, the half on his side of the barrier anyway. The orange reptile had been cut in two by the concrete.

“What!?” he shouted out in part fear and part surprise. He reached for his neck, only reassured when he felt no signs of injury.

Wow. Was there really a need to make it so realistic?! That really hurt. Not as much as if it happened for real, but still.

The corpse of the cold blooded animal remained on the ground, its lifeless eyes unmoving. He moved around the concrete wall, observing the two halves of the creature.

No blood or gore, which is a plus, but does it really need to stay there after its dead? Kind of creepy, even if it’s an animal.

It didn’t take him long to find the ‘despawn enemies’ option.

That was stressful. But also a little fun? Wish I didn’t have to kill it. I kind of like lizards.

He began changing the parameters of the lizard, making sure to limit its abilities to better allow him to test different things. Satisfied that it couldn’t instant kill him this time, he spawned it back in.

Stanley stood beside the wall he’d deployed in the previous encounter as the lizard walked towards him. It ignored him, heading straight for the concrete as if it had some kind of grudge against tall inanimate objects. The orange animal sprang at the wall, unlike last time however, it slashed the concrete with its claws, leaving not so shallow gashes in the material.

Woah. That shouldn’t be a thing. Why is the weakest enemy able to damage concrete?

Each slash only removed another half centimetre of material, but it was enough to have Stanley spooked.

Given enough time, couldn’t it… Yep, there it goes.

The wall, unable to take any more punishment, broke in two, the top half falling to the ground with a thump.

“Utterly ridiculous,”

Wait. The Nano bot things were much easier to deal with than this. And aren’t those supposed to be what I’m fighting anyway? Oh. There’s a description for each enemy isn’t there?

Delving into what Stanley was beginning to consider his own personal wiki page, he found what he was looking for. Apparently, the robots he had fought previously were an all-purpose unit not particularly good at anything and used primarily when units that are both flexible and expendable are required. The enemy before him, the aptly named ‘orange lizard’ was expected to show up as cannon fodder in areas of low importance. It was classified as ‘very weak’ in most attributes.

Now if I can just find a way to defend myself without impaling my enemies with slabs of concrete…

After confirming the effectiveness of barriers made of concrete, he experimented with other materials.

Steel is only deformed from being struck, with scratch marks being left on it. Too much force or sharper claws could prove problematic for me. Rubber proves almost entirely ineffective, at least for this type of enemy, with it being ripped apart by the lizard. Better when used in combination with other materials? Too complicated for now, something to consider later.

He began trying to face the lizard in combat again. Each attempt he got better at deploying a barrier in time, but eventually, even with perfect timing, the animal would just circle around the obstacle, ending in another failure. One thing he was proud of was that he’d adjusted the failure state to not include so much pain, his reasoning being ‘because pain hurts’.

So no matter what I do, a stationary obstacle doesn’t seem to be cutting it anymore. I could make it wider and taller, but that just increases deployment time. Guess the system has its limits as well.

Stanley observed the oversized reptile, cool wind on his face as the last rays of sunshine fell on him.

Is it possible to carry it like a shield? But it’s a bit heavy for that and making it lighter would just make it less effective. I saw an attachment section under each barrier type, maybe something in there can help.

Listed under the aforementioned section were concrete barriers with different modifications. One did allow for usage as a shield, but there were also stranger ones, like barriers with flamethrowers attached, ones that fired lightning, some even enabled flight.

Some of these look kind of interesting, but why is there only two of each? I guess they’re more expensive? Oh, there’s even an option to make the shield semitransparent from my perspective.

After an inordinate amount of experimentation, Stanley had something he felt was workable.

Once again, the stage was set. He stood on one end of the clearing, his shield of concrete at the ready. The other end held the lizard that was teaching him the meaning of utter failure. He held the handle that simultaneously lessened the weight of the shield and allowed him to control where it was positioned.

Please, this time. Win!

Both players sprang into motion, eager to meet each other in battle. Half way to his opponent Stanley braced himself behind his shield, eyes narrowed as he watched the lizard’s advance. It sprang at him, impacting the shield. His right hand shook, the vibration transferred through the shield like that of using a power tool. The creature landed on the ground. Undeterred by its first failure, it retreated before again making an attack run, this time trying to circle to one of Stanley’s unprotected sides for a clean hit.

He barely got his shield into position, the swipe of the reptile’s claws hitting the edge of the shield.

Fast as ever.

Many impacts later, his hands were going numb. Whichever angle the animal attacked from, he was able to bring the shield up to intercept it. His only complaints being the dizziness setting in from having to turn so much and the aforementioned numbness. He was beginning to get used to the latter.

A few metres away, the orange lizard observed him, searching for an opening. When it finally moved again, Stanley had adopted a somewhat more relaxed attitude.

Which way this time? Left or right?

It subverted his expectations by coming straight at him.

This again?

It jumped half way up his shield. But unlike earlier attempts, it didn’t fall to the ground.

What?

The creature had embedded its claws into the shield and was beginning to climb upwards, using its claws like an ice axe against a glacier.

What do I do?

He tried to shake it free, but the animal held on, unfazed.

“Return shield!” he shouted.

The barrier disappeared, leaving the animal to fall, it was right above his face. Curling around in mid-air, the lizard opened its maw wide.

Time seemed to slow down.

I could use a plasma dome, but I really don’t want to kill things anymore. Is there no other way?

It continued its fall.

You know what. I don’t care. I really like animals. You win lizard friend.

Stanley opened his arms wide to hug the not so cuddly reptile. He closed his eyes, preparing for another failure. He was soon greeted by a heavy weight that landed on top of him, his hand returning the feeling of dry scales.

Before he could figure out what was happening the male voice of the system spoke in an uncharacteristically jovial manner. “Congratulations! You are the first in System memory to discover the method of taming vicious interdimensional animals. Due to limited information about this skill, you will have to catalogue and test all of its limitations yourself,”

“What?”

Ignoring his complete confusion, the lizard, which he was currently embracing in a hug, licked his face with its blue tongue.