GRASS BOXES

Mid-afternoon sunshine striped across the smooth, cool tile of the so-called catio. Curled under a fleece blanket with only her dark, twitching nose visible, Noodle slept the day away. Her whole body was limp and relaxed, so relaxed she looked almost lifeless. Her masked head lifted at a sound, her small, furry ears flicking back and then forward as a small *ding* of sound surrounded her. There wasn’t a source to the sound, at least not one that was immediately recognizable.

She yawned hugely, tiny sharp teeth flashing. Her dark eyes blinked closed and then open, myopic eyes focusing in on the hovering box the color of grass.

Greetings, Floof Noodle!

You have been chosen.

The End is coming, prepare yourself!!!

Noodle tilted her head one way and then the other. Those squiggles looked like what Boy sometimes looked at on his computer. The computer was very important to Boy. Were these squiggles important, too? The sable ferret climbed to her feet, shaking the sleep from her fur with another wide yawn. Boy would know. Maybe Boy could see the squiggles too? Noodle grumbled quietly as she glanced up at the sun’s path across the sky. Boy was at school.

The ferret focused in on the squiggles again, her eyes squinting and bringing them into better clarity.

*DA-DAH* You have acquired the language skill - Basic English!

She leapt almost straight up into the air. Every single hair on her body stood at attention as the squiggles became words and the words gained meaning. The End of what? She mused as she read the words over and over, committing them to memory. Prepare yourself? How could I best prepare myself? Boy would know. Boy is very smart. I need to communicate with Boy. Noodle bounded across the catio floor and climbed up into one of the hammocks. Beyond the fine screening, the yard looked as it always did. End or no End, nothing had changed yet. She chittered grumpily to herself as she eyed the screen itself.

Noodle loved Boy. She loved him. Sometimes, though, she hated it. Escape proof, he called the catio. It wasn’t the screened walls and narrow gaps that held her, it was Boy. There was a whole world out there of sharp smells and alluring sounds. A world she would do anything to explore. Anything except hurt Boy. The ferret yawned again, her dark eyes slipping closed. There was time before Boy returned. Enough time that she could finish her late-mid-afternoon nap, any maybe even get part of her early-late-afternoon nap in.

Whether minutes or hours had passed since she closed her eyes, Noodle couldn’t tell, but she opened her eyes when she heard Boy’s Voice. “Mom, I’m home!” Noodle leapt to her feet and scrambled down from the hammock and skittered across the tiled floor. Shrill squeaks and sharp barks escaped her as she bounded and cavorted toward the stiff flap that separated the catio from the rest of the house. She pushed at the flap with both her front paws, chirping eagerly.

“I’m coming, Noodle!” Boy called out. She could hear his backpack drop heavily onto the ground outside her door, then the *snick* of the lock opening. She bounced and chittered, her little frame trembling with her inability to hold in her excitement. The flap loosened and she tumbled out with her next push, rolling clumsily over the lip and onto Boy’s sock clad feet. She ricocheted up on her feet and leapt, claws digging into Boy’s jeans as he scaled his legs and then his torso. She was almost purring by the time she reached his neck and rubbed her cheek against his.

“I missed you, too.” He said, rubbing his cheek against hers gently.

“How was your day?” She squeaked out.

He ruffled her fur with his long slender fingers and rolled his dark eyes. “Whoof.” He began, still petting her as he walked toward the kitchen. “It was really long, you know? There was a new student in my Algebra I class. Who moves their kid two weeks before school is out?” Boy shook his head and she slunk from one shoulder to the other, rubbing her scent on his other cheek. “Poor dude has no idea what he’s in for. I thought being a freshman was bad enough knowing most of the kids from middle school. This guy is screwed. He looks like he rolled off a Florida beach.” Boy snorted. “Wisconsin is going to eat him alive.”

She slipped behind Boy’s neck and laid down, head trailing over one shoulder and hind end over the other. “Why would Wisconsin eat him? Is Wisconsin a cannibal?”

Boy stopped moving in mid-stride and tilted his head strangely, trying to meet her eyes. She could hear his heartbeat stumble and then race from where her ear was next to his great vein. “Noodle?” His voice was shallow and tremulous.

“Boy?” She squeaked back, lifting her head and stretching forward so she could meet his eye with one of hers.

He set his lifted foot down carefully and, moving slowly, he plucked Noodle off his shoulders and held her out in front of him. It was a little uncomfortable with her legs dangling in the air. He studied her for a moment, his eyes roving from the tips of her dark ears to the end of her black tail.

“What is it, Boy? You look concerned.” She chittered at him.

“I fell asleep in the fifth period.” He said decisively. “I’m dreaming.”

She tilted her head kicking her hindlegs slightly. “Dreaming?”

“You don’t sound much different.” He muttered. “I need to pinch myself.” He looked at his hands, filled with ferret, and seemed to be thinking about putting her down. She leaned her head down and nipped at his thumb. It was Boy’s turn to squeal.

“I didn’t even draw blood.” She mumbled squeakily. Boy’s hands tensed around her.

“That hurt.” He said, “And I can still understand you. I’ve lost it.”

“Mal! Who are you talking to? Did you bring a friend home?” The Mother called from the kitchen.

Noodle’s hindlegs scrambled for purchase and she sunk her front claws into the ticking leather band Boy wore around his wrist, trying to pull herself closer to him. The Mother sounded tired and her tone bordered on grumpy.

“Ah..” Boy said.

“Mal, come on. Dinner is almost ready. Get in here. I’ve got third tonight.”

Boy winced and looked down at Noodle, bringing her closer to his chest as he saw her distress. He looked from the kitchen arch and back down to Noodle before walking carefully into The Mother’s Lair.

“How was school today?” The Mother asked. She stood in front of the stove in a set of dark blue scrubs.

This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

“I was just telling Noodle.” Boy said, setting the ferret on the floor in front of her own food bowl. He went to the fridge to get her food started as he talked. “A new guy started today. He’s from Florida.”

This drew Noodle’s attention back to her question. “Is Wisconsin a cannibal?” She squeaked again.

The Mother dropped her wooden spoon and a splash of grease and mostly cooked hamburger splattered across the kitchen floor. Noodle was quick to take advantage of the spill. The Mother’s dark eyes flicked up to meet Boy’s. He was already taller than the Lifegiver. “Did.. I swear… Mal?”

Boy’s eyes went wide. “You heard it too? I thought I was dreaming. I said I should pinch myself and she bit me.”

“Bit you?” The Mother asked.

“Yeah, just a little nip. Not much more than a pinch really.” Boy answered. “I swear to God, Mom. I was talking to her like I always do and I thought she was just squeaking back like she always does at first. But then she asked about cannibals. Cannibals, Mom.”

“Well, is he?” Noodle squeaked indignantly.

“Who?” Boy asked, crouching down on his haunches.

“Wisconsin.” She squeaked slowly, clearly Boy wasn’t as smart as she had thought. “Is he a cannibal?”

The Mother laughed a deep belly laugh with just the hint of hysteria at the edges. Boy sat heavily on the floor. “What do you mean is Wisconsin a cannibal?”

Noodle grumbled with exasperation. “You said Wisconsin would eat him alive.”

Boy was laughing too, a series of rising giggles that he couldn’t seem to stop. The Mother sat heavily in one of the chairs next to the table and Boy collapsed back onto his rump. “I didn’t mean literally. I just mean the team is already sniffing around talking about him being a pansy. I think he was wearing clear nail polish.”

“Malcom Andrew Baxter.” The Mother’s voice was sharp.

Boy rolled his eyes. “I didn’t say I thought he was a pansy, Mom. I said the idiots at school were already starting trouble for him and it’s been a day.”

“You remember what I told you?” The Mother prompted.

“Yes, Mom.” He rolled his eyes again. This time Noodle tried to do it as well. Boy snorted. “Thumper’s Rule.”

“Good boy.”

Boy sighed heavily. “I’m not a dog.”

She pinched his cheek as she stood up to check on the hamburger and pick up the mess she had made. “You’re my baby though.”

He batted at her hand, “Geeze, Mom. Be serious. What about Noodle?”

The ferret looked up, chin covered in grease and mouth smacking as she chewed on a piece of pinkish hamburger. “What about me?”

“That is so f-ing creepy.” Boy admitted.

Noodle’s ears went flat. “Creepy?” Her head and tail drooped.

“Language.” The Mother said.

“I didn’t curse.” Boy said defensively.

“It’s all about intent, child of mine.”

“I intended to not curse.”

“You intended for everyone who heard you say that to know exactly what you meant. You may as well have said it because I certainly heard it.” She said as she added water and a pack of seasoning to the hamburger.

“Ugh, Mo-om,” The word had about seven syllables. “Stick to the subject.”

“I’m avoiding it on purpose.” She admitted.

“Why?”

“Obviously we’ve both gone off the deep end. I’m trying to figure out what we should do.” The Mother said.

“You’re not crazy.” Noodle protested. “I saw a grass box with words in it. It said: Greetings, Floof Noodle! You have been chosen. The End is coming, prepare yourself!!!”

“Apocalypse Ferret.” Boy muttered.

“How does heralding the End make us less crazy?” The Mother asked.

Noodle climbed into Boy’s lap. “You forgot dinner.”

“You are nothing but a stomach.” Boy said as he settled her back on the ground and stood up to prepare her meal.

“The Mother says that about you.” She reminded him.

“I’m a growing boy.” The words were quick and exactly the same as they were every time the Mother called him a stomach.

The Mother snorted back a laugh and turned the meat down to a simmer. She got a knife and a cutting board for the tomatoes, onion, and lettuce. “Alright. Noodle.”

Noodle snaked her way around the Mother’s feet. “After the grass box, there was a chime and then it said I had learned basic English. I think that’s why you can understand me now.”

“Like, you learned a skill?” Boy asked as he arranged a bone-in chicken thigh and a few chunked of hardboiled egg on a shallow bowl for Noodle.

Noodle danced and dooked across the kitchen floor. “I learned a skill. Just like some of your games. It says prepare myself and my first thought was you. You could help me prepare. You know everything.”

The Mother snorted, trying to hide the sound under a cough. “Everything might be an exaggeration.”

“Mo-om.” This time it had even more syllables.

“There you can hear the anguished cry of a teenage boy.” The Mother said as she set the table.

This time it sounded like it would never end and the Mother was laughing outright. “Be serious.” Boy said.

“I can’t.” The Mother admitted. “I can’t take this seriously. It’s a joke. One of your friends, Ian maybe, is using some sort of speaker to pull a prank on me. That’s the only explanation.”

Boy rolled his eyes again and Noodle cocked her head, glancing up at The Mother. “Does that annoy you?”

The Mother squeezed the bridge of her nose and shook her head slowly from one side to the other. “My Mother always said that every parent hopes their child will have children that are exactly like they were.” She opened one eye and looked down at the ferret. “I can tell you I never brought anything like this into my mother’s life. She’s laughing her butt off in the afterlife right now.”

Shortly after dinner, the Mother left for work and Noodle and her Boy were alone in the house. “Alright.” Boy said, cracking his knuckles. “Let’s get this party started.” He led her back into the catio, leaving the door to the house wide open. “You learned a skill by reading the text, right? Let’s see what else can earn you a skill. Close your eyes. I’m going to hide a treat and you need to find it.”

Noodle could smell the treat already.

*DA-DAH* You have acquired the survival skill: Scent!

She snorted forcefully, clearing her nose and then locking in on the fishy scent of her favorite type of cat treat. She scuttled over to one of the carpet covered cat-trees and scrambled up the side.

*DA-DAH* You have acquired the general skill: Climb!

The nest of blankets in her favorite hammock had been disturbed. She slunk over to the hammock and nosed her way under the blankets, her little black nose twitching with delight and anticipation. The treat was in her stomach almost as soon as it touched her nose. She chirped with delight and bounded up to balance on the edge of the hammock.

“Scent and climb.” She said, bracing herself for a moment before leaping across the distance and snagging her claws into Boy’s pants.

*DA-DAH* You have acquired the general skill: Jump!

“And Jump.”

Boy nodded, scooping her off his pants and cradling her in his crossed arms. “You should practice those whenever you can.” After a few scratches he set the dark little ferret down and rolled a ball across the floor. Noodle was on it immediately, bouncing and pouncing after the ball, chittering and squeaking.

*DA-DAH* You have acquired the combat skill: Pounce!

*DA-DAH* You have acquired the combat skill: Bite!

*DA-DAH* You have acquired the combat skill: Swipe!

*DA-DAH* You have acquired the combat style: War Dance!

*DA-DAH* You have acquired the combat skill: War Cry!

*DA-DAH* You have acquired the combat skill: Tackle!

*DA-DAH* You have acquired the combat style: Brawl!

Noodle hardly noticed all the alerts as she clumsily chased after and wrestled with the little orange ball. The ball ricocheted around the catio, bouncing off the climbing trees, over flexible tunnels, under arches, and into caves. After a few minutes, the ferret crashed over onto her side, panting, her eyes going to slits and then sinking closed.

*DA-DAH* You have acquired the trait: All or Nothing!

*DA-DAH* You have acquired the survival skill: Nap!

She was only out for a few breaths before she bounced back to her paws feeling somewhat refreshed. “That was… wow.” She said, looking up at Boy.

“What happened?” He asked, crouching down to be at her level.

“I learned a buncha stuff.”

“It didn’t say how soon the End was coming, did it?” Boy said. “We have time to prepare you. Let’s make you as strong as we can.”