Miko:

“Maleki?” I murmured aloud.

“Yeah, what’s up?” He responded.

I had fallen asleep and slumped over on the bench in an uncomfortable position, so I grabbed the back of the bench with my left hand to pull myself back upright. I knew the forest would be dark with those dense treetops, but this was even darker than I could have imagined.

“I can’t even see in front of me. How is the driver able to see where he’s going?” I asked.

“Miko, what are you talking about? You said these are Moonglow pines; this forest is lit up more than any other.” My older brother seemed confused.

“What?...I…I don’t understand. I can’t see anything at all.” It wasn’t that the forest was dark. Everything is dark. I can’t even see my arms.

“I’m blind…This has never happened before.” I slammed my fists into the bench and clenched my skull with my hands to hide my eyes and fight the tears.

“I…. can’t even read anymore. What if this is permanent? Maleki, what if I won’t be able to read ever again? Is this permanent?” I said in a panic.

“Miko, calm down. We’ll figure this out. It always changes once you sleep. I’m sure this will follow the cycle.”

“Calm. Calm. Calm. Maleki, I can’t see. My eyes are everything. I don’t know how to live without my sight.” I was furious but didn’t know where else to direct my rage.

“Miko, breathe. This doesn’t accomplish anything!” Maleki was calm, but I still wasn’t.

“Breathe!” I yelled. “How long until my lungs fail? Or, or my heart, for that matter? What if this is just the beginning? What am I to do without sight? Crawl? To where? I would gladly lose taste, smell, and even touch, but not my eyes.” I blurted out.

He wasn’t responding, but I could feel his eyes. I could just sense their grip.

I grabbed him by the sides of his shirt that sat around his neck. “Are you going to read every page to me, brother?” I yelled in a crazed manner whilst tears festered at the base of my eyelids.

I slumped over as something swift and solid connected with me. My breath was taken from me as quickly as it was there with one swift punch to the sternum.

“I’m sorry, Miko, but you wouldn’t listen.” He said in a low tone. “If that’s what it takes, I will read to you when the sun rises and until it sets.”

I gasped for air. I was crouched over with one palm on the floor, attempting to recalibrate myself. “I deserved that, sorry….”

“I promise you. We will figure this out. I need you to focus and be calm for a little longer.” My brother said as he placed a hand on my shoulder.

I know. I knew it would get worse. I just wasn’t ready, I guess. “What do I do now? Wait?” I asked him.

Maleki lowered his chest, “Unfortunately…yes. Try and go back to sleep. Perhaps your body will swap the unusable part again.”

I thought about what he was saying. Your muscles relax when you fall asleep, so it’s possible that when entering the state of sleep, my body is unable to recover certain parts. Although, that doesn’t explain the cycle. I have never lost access to the same body part two days in a row. It has always switched from day to day.

“Why does it never repeat?” I asked him.

I could hear him shuffle his hand to his chin while he crossed his arms. “Hmmm…”

A few moments went by, and he still hadn’t responded.

“Don’t think too hard, or you might pass out genius,” I said aloud.

“What if. What if, well — why? Why do we sleep?” Maleki asked.

“Why do we sleep?” I responded.

“Yeah. What’s the purpose? Our bodies do it naturally, so what’s to gain?” He said.

“Well, it’s our body’s way of recovering and growing. Our muscles can grow and rest. As Grandpa says, ‘A weapon must be heated and then cooled to be tempered and sharpened.’” I added.

Maleki thought for a brief second. “Okay, so you go to sleep without function in your arms, for example, but when you wake up the next morning, it’s back. By entering back into the sleep state, your whole body relaxes, and your heartbeat slows. Exiting the state means you cannot reproduce the same state as the previous night. Yet, you still feel pain in those areas?”

I responded immediately, “Yes, but the same could be said about someone asleep. You could cut their arm, and they would feel the pain and wake up.”

“True, but you don’t regain control when you feel pain in the targeted area, so it doesn’t have the same conditions as sleep.”

“You’re implying there are two things occurring?”

“That could be the case. Or, it could just be worsening. I wonder if it’s possible to force a specific limb to sleep, like when you cross your legs or sit weird, and your leg starts feeling numb.”

“That happens regularly. I can’t move my legs, so they are usually in a weird position. I can feel that same numbness, but it’s never woken that area up.”

“All right, well….” My brother drifted off into thought.

I decided to stop engaging in the conversation after this. Maleki went back to incoherently mumbling questions to himself as if he was propping up questions and then immediately prodding them to see if they stayed whole.

We had been here before in different scenarios, trying to figure out our own ways of deciphering a problem that somehow a hundred people have been unable to figure out. It’s always the same at the end of the day. The cycle continues, and I am left to wonder, ‘What will I lose next?’

I tried to fall asleep as Maleki suggested, but my mind was racing, trying to anticipate which days I would be able to see and which I wouldn’t. Once those thoughts settled, I found myself listening to the dense forest we were traveling through.

The cart would vibrate and tumble as the wheels spun against the uneven ground and crunched against fallen leaves and limbs. Although light, the traffic through this forest still kept the road relatively clean from large branches or road bumps. Once those noises became more consistent and quieter, I started hearing animals swooping through the trees, and even the branches brushing against the winds near the top of the treetop.

This wasn’t anything new; it just found my ears easier. These were all noises I had heard before and could even hear with my eyes open, yet without them, they found my ears much quicker and vibrantly than ever before.

“I can’t imagine you were unable to hear our conversation,” I asked the driver.

“Hmph. Not my business.” He barked.

“You’re not even curious? You must overhear a lot of interesting stories, like an innkeeper.” I asked.

“Sure, but you don’t pay me to delve into your personal life. That costs extra!”

“You have no moral compass.”

“Lookey here, I got my own problems. I don’t need you brats adding on to em!”

“Who you calling a brat?”

“You. Brat.”

Maleki leaned forward and asked aloud. “Miko, did you just pick up a rock and throw it at him?”

“No…”

“Well, it was way off,” My brother snickered.

The driver turned around and mocked me. “See, only a brat would throw a rock.”

“When I get my sight back, I’m pelting you with a rock.”

“That’s assuming you have use of your arms, dear brother, but let’s settle down. We’ll be coming up on the spot where we’ll camp for the night, so we’ll need to set up when we get there. Save your energy for that.”

“At least one of you has some sense.” The carriage driver laughed to himself.

I threw another rock, but he dodged out of the way, and I heard it tumble away into the trees. I was closer this time, though!