Chapter II: The Trespassing

You find yourself floating. Floating above nothing, with your mind being filled with nothing. Emotions and feelings that have flooded your mind just a second ago, have all come to a halt. But really, what was that all of a sudden? And why are you in this abyssal construct? Questions flood your mind, but perhaps it is best not to pursue questions as of now, you must first find a way out, if even there is one.

However, you can’t help but to take a second off to realize how you died just a minute ago, yet it feels so far away from where you are now.

Wasn’t death the definition of becoming unconscious? How can you still think?

You don’t know whether you exist or not, so you lean to check. You attempt to grab your torso, but it does not reach your hands, nor do your hands reach your torso,for that there are no nerves to connect your body to yourself, even if there is a body to begin with.

You should not be able to do any thinking either as your mind, your consciousness just ceased to exist. Yet you can, which is useless without a body to put those thoughts into action. You leave your realm of thoughts, and decide to do some exploration. You try and see what’s around you. It is, well, nothing. You see nothing at all. But that’s not because there is “nothing” around. It’s just because your eyes are what’s not around.

You open your mouth to make a “Huh?” noise, as you are at a loss towards this mess, but your subtle voice does not seem to find a way into your ears. You desperately call for your body, or a body that you can work with. Your wish seems to have been granted. You first feel a consciousness become one with your current. Then nerves connect that to a corresponding body. You can move again, It is time for you to finally get out.

You swing your arm, and push forward with your legs. The kind of movement you’d expect from a swimmer. However it is not water, but an ever-going void that you swim in instead.

It isn’t so long before you realize how doing what you are doing now will not get you anywhere.

Panic starts building up, you are stuck in this place. This hellish void is starting to get into your nerves, but to no avail. You may not be getting out soon, however that doesn’t mean that you can just stand there and leave your soul to rot. You must do something.

You start to “swim”. As fast as you can, even though this place does not hold a sense of length. You swim as much as you can, even though time is pretty much irrelevant in here. Maybe if you swim fast enough, you can rip through the fabric of this place. Maybe if somehow you do it long enough, you will find an opening to where you are supposed to be.

Then you stop. Somewhere in there, in a place that you can’t define, somewhere from the darkness, you catch the subtle image of something being projected onto the fabric of the void, an illuminating set of photons hit the fabric. There, amidst the void, you see everything. Everything that has ever happened, and everything that could ever happen. A set of experiences stuffed into beams of light, and you get to experience all of it, you get to feel every emotion at once. Perhaps, what you defined as a void all along, is the very place that holds the bare bones of what you knew as the universe, a field that confines all information as we know it, a construct where fates are assembled and assigned. You lean in with your eyes, and somewhere right in there, is you.

Before you know it, you are embraced by this construct, with your past, and future surrounding you. You observe every second of misery of the countless years of confinement you’ve been put through. Days turn into nights, as hours do into days and months. However what you are looking for is not here, not even this place contains the whole picture. Your past isn’t the only thing to be desperate to get your hands on. The present, knowing every single one of the strengths and weaknesses of your foes, and putting ends to catastrophes long before they come into view. However, there is nothing for you to actually stuff this knowledge into. The solidity of the confines of your consciousness is nothing more than a membranes, which you won’t get to fill with this priceless wisdom. An amazed pair of eyes dance across the embracement.

You watch and observe this fascinating scenery. Even though you won’t remember any of it, this kind of scenery is pretty hard to come by. Moments pass as you watch, until you are satisfied. After the point where your gaze no longer recognizes the surrounding palette of visionary, you realize how you are now stuck in this construct, that is hidden in an abyss. Just after this realization is made the construct around comes to an end, and disappears just as the way it came into view, leaving the abyss wide open upon its vanishing.

You swim gracefully, through the nothingness. It is only you and the void for a good while. Hunger does not reach you within this time, neither does fatigue. The only limitation present is your mental state, but you won’t let it tie the doors between you and your freedom.

Your speed gradually increases, and you start to flow over the fabric of the void as yout swimming turns into bird-like flying. You go on and on and on, until your perception of time is not intact to register the time that passes around. Though you remind yourself of your goal that is getting out ever so often, you yourself start not to believe that the premise itself is true.

Just when your willpower has all burnt out, your feet start to clasp and collide with solid ground. You stop your motion right as your brain registers the friction, which takes a bit of time. You take some time as well, just to be able to start thinking properly after that endless search. After you are done with your time off, you go and and take a step forward, and continue that with others. Just until you come by a door. You stare at the door that stands beside, which you could have just flown by. But you didn’t, and you are really grateful that you didn’t.

-Finally! A way to get out of this hellish void, you think.

The door is a little taller than the size of an average human, nothing more than two meters and a half as you see it. It is covered by what looks like some claw marks. The door is in a grayish color, with its frame being painted by a lighter tone of the same grayish color, highlighting the door. But other than those, it is your typical door, there isn’t anything really special about it. Even though you are a little unsettled with some suspicion, you approach the door, on your toes.

As you get closer, you slowly raise your hand to the handle that is roughly on the same line as your waist. You put your hand on the handle to try and open the door and give it a tug, only to see that it does not yield that easily. Hindered by this you try again, but harder. With no progress made, you turn your head slightly to the left, taking your eyes across the never-ending void. Something then proceeds to pique your interest. Your bracelet, the gemstone attached to your bracelet, is once again glowing violently. The last time things had occured like this, you weren’t doing so well.

An immense pain shows presence in your heart. You didn’t even know that you had the ability to sense pain in this abyss. Not that you know what to do against this pain. However you must act and you must do it swiftly, before your body starts to melt once more. Maybe if you manage to get the door to open somehow, then you may get rid of it. Not that you have the ability to do much other than that.

“Not every door is meant to be opened by their knobs now, are they?” You think before your hands form a fist. You take a step back, and get ready for the blow. However as you do so, your left hand feels tingly. To your surprise, something starts to manifest into reality in the form of a sinister blade, starting from the hilt. The hilt isn’t really that different from any other blade that you’ve held, but the blade has the same violent flashy glow as your gemstone had.

The manifestation, the blade, feels tender just as if it is going to shatter into pieces with the initiation of a grip that is only a little stronger, that is slightly tighter. Despite this, you can barely hold it. It wants to go off of your hands. You set the blade into the air, gently. To your surprise, it floats? You watch as the blade floats off and off into the air. Like a bow that’s strained, like a string that’s being aimed.

After some point, the blade stops moving backwards. It changes color, to a pure, dark red; screaming the boldness of the actions it is about to perform. It is on the way to hit the door at full force. You have to do something, because if you do not, you will be hit by the blade instead. With a dexterous move of the body, you manage to get out of the way. You hear a thudding noise that surpasses every other. The door has busted open. You look at the direction of the now opened door for a while.

You feel burnt out, exhausted. You try to get up from the ground, but you are unable to do so. You feel as if your heart is drained. You close your eyes, and think of your father, even though your mind is barely even able to envision him. You think of the sunlight pleasantly shining through the clouds, and a gentle breeze going on top of your head. You feel something in your soul reappear, you feel something inside you as it resonates. You feel the power that lies within you, and get up with humble steps. With your heart pounding the loudest with the anticipation of the unknown, you approach the door, trying your best to ignore the pounding. You get going with tiny, slow steps, and walk in. As you touch the door, it starts to change in shape. It mounds into a shape that you’ve never seen from a door before. The door starts to embody you, to consume you. It devours your soul and heart. This continues for sometime, and you start to feel chills sent down your spine. You start to sense a part of your soul elsewhere. After this process is concluded, you open your eyes to a brand new sky.

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After your expectations of more void or stuff that is even worse, such as waking up to a red hellish sky, you are met with something that stands on the side of the complete opposite. You find yourself in an endless, almost paradisal scene that seems to stem itself from you. Fresh fields generate as you stroll forward, and some vanish out of sight. You see a beam of light that carries the beauty of a thousand suns, as it emanates from what looks like a star dangling from above, casting your shadow onto the surface that you stand on. The skies have been painted to numerous delicate tones of pink by the star. The view is so pleasantly astonishing that even looking at it directly does not seem to bother your eyes.

It is so beautiful that you feel like just settling down here, gazing at the blank, yet heartwarming skies in peace as long as eternity goes. Despite this, you swiftly get yourself to remember that you need to find an exit out of this place before you are long lost in your thoughts, which pushes you to go for a trip. Starting with humble steps, you go on and on forward. The moisture added into the air by dissolved water is equally pleasant as the view all around you. As you continue your journey, you regather your courage, and ambition.

With your legs shifting into a robotic state, and continuing the journey onwards, your mind shifts itself into thoughts instead. You start asking stuff to yourself, just as you did back in the void. Why are you here? You must be dead as of now. With your heart stopped this whole time, and seemingly that you are not inside your body, it may have as well started to rot. Your body, hmm… You remember what you saw as your body fell into oblivion. Your left arm, your bracelet! The gem on top was glowing violently as you died. It also did the same thing when you tried opening that door, only to fail. Maybe that thing isn’t a fan of failure? Either way, making use of that thing in any way seems to wear you down a bit too much. In a situation of a heavy fight, using that may even go as far as getting you killed.

Well, you could always just give up and settle down to live in here. What is the worst that could happen? You’ve been here for quite a bit, and yet you don’t feel hungry, nor thirsty. As you think like this, your heart starts aching once again. There is no way you settle down here like this. Not after putting all the effort to burn through your body.

- No? No to what?

A blunt voice disrupts your thinking as it calls out. You immediately raise your head up for interrogation. Beside you stands a figure, a silhouette you thought was long lost to time. It is your father that stands in the way.

-Father!

You stutter out loud from the excitement you feel. It’s been a while after the last you’ve seen a face this familiar. Your eyes widen, and you immediately take his hands in yours. Realizing the confusion he has caused, he takes his hand back in a swift manner, trying his best not to hurt you in the process. Desperate for the slightest bit of affection, you hug him tightly. You can feel the warmth of tears rolling down your cheeks, but you can not afford to mind them at the given moment. It is that very moment that you realize how much you need someone to rely on, to lean on over the last few thousand years. You feel your father’s arms wrapping around you as well, and you can't help but remember how your father wasn't the kind of…affectionate. You're grateful though, so you don't say a word about it.

-Greetings son. It seems that fate has brought us together once again, doesn’t it?

You can barely make out his words, still in the shock of the moment. You want to capture this happening, you want it to continue for the entirety of your life. You feel pure happiness sprouting out of you for the first time in your entire life, the part that you remember at the least.

-From what I’ve seen, you weren’t having the best of times. I suppose your mind is blurry. Is there anything that could be resolved, by my help or otherwise?

And from what you have seen, your father should be at the other end of the coffin. The way you think of your father amuses you, but your feeling of amusement does make your tongue yield into laughing.

-Father, should I really define you in this way? I mean, are you really my father?

Your father shakes his head to the sides in what seems to be sadness, and distress.

-You see son, it’s been a lot since I’ve passed away, the mere mortal I am.

-Then who… Wait, no. What are you?, you mumble to him.

Your father turns bittersweet,

-Fret not, my dear. I am no foul creature, nor do I seek controversy. I am the very projection of your father that’s been made by the likes of your consciousness. You may see me as a mere echo of your fathers, a contamination of anticipation and feelings scarred into you, a tapestry of actions and marks carved into the walls of your very soul.

All this concision does is to blur your mind even more though. You turn your head onwards, trying to grasp even a fraction of your father’s sayings, as your eyes dance across the skies trying to see what’s beyond the horizon. Him speaking in riddles always made the conversations between you and him a lot harder, but you can no longer bear to witness the blur of your mind anymore, so you put what’s visible to you onto your lips. Which seem to be a whole bunch of questions. You turn to your “father in question”.

-If you are really a compilation of my father that has persisted within me, you must have a portion of his wisdom. Am I mistaken?

-It would be an exaggeration of expectations to make this assumption, for that I am a mortal that is long lost to time. However, it is correct that I am pragmatically knowledgeable.

Your father says with a hand of his over the chin. After a moment of hesitation, he opens his mouth with a courageous voice:

-Tell me then, whatever it is that will count to the liberation towards the shackles of your heart!

You gaze upon your father, unwillingly noticing the slight changes in his facial structure after he put those words to a trail. There seems to be no residue from neither the determination nor the courage that emanated from him just a second ago. He seeks for your question with a slight twitching of the eye nonetheless.

-Who am I, father?

Words spill out of your lips, with a voice that gets thinner, a voice that carries a weight much much heavier than a human can ever bear. Being encaptivated for a period that is so long that you no longer recognise yourself, that you no longer hold the knowledge to continue living life as you once did.

-I am thoroughly sorry for my inability to make an appropriate answer to this question of yours, but as far as I am concerned, you are the Soul of the Unresolved.

With an answer this lacking, the tears that you attempt to hold, to keep at bay since you and your father have reunited, remain unshed for no longer. However, you must bear through this for a little longer. You give it your all in order to ignore the cries of your soul.

-Un… Resolved?

You stutter once again, but this time there is more of despair than there is ambition or determination.

- In the past life that I went through as being your father, I kept it a little closer than the average human when things came to connection with gods, which seems to be the motive for the wisdom you believe I have. Every once in a while, gods pursue a spirit with vicious amounts of misfortune, that of a few people’s, so that misfortune spreaded across the realm is kept at a balance. Thus, the misfortuned becoming the rightful owner of the name, “The Soul of the Unresolved”.

You nod gently, trying your hardest to comprehend what nonsense your father has just said.

-So there is a curse that’s been put upon me for years, which will continue its presence for decades to follow.

Your father nods sadly:

-Things are as they sound. But they are also not at once. Every one of these vessels that contain the title of being “the Unresolved”, are given a blessing by the gods to make up for their title.

-A blessing?

You ask, with a voice that is as questioning as it gets.

-How much have you lived for?

-I don’t know.

-Exactly. Your vessel is blessed with immortality.

-If immortality is what gods see fit as a blessing, I wonder what curse it is that’s been put upon me!

You bicker at your father.

-The curse, the misfortune you contaminate may be divided over a series of events in your past.. It may come as a series of effects on your body. It may even be the very captivation you went through for god knows how long.

The more your fathers speech continues, the more your nerves yield to his riddles. It feels as if everything is coming together, becoming more of a whole.

-Your vessel is blessed with more than mere immortality though. I suppose you’ve taken notice of your bracelet for once at least, on your way down here.

-Of course I have, and I believe to have managed to make use of it as I opened the door making my way in here.

-Splendid. You see that gemstone over? That is what gods call a “Charm”. Your charm must be the charm of life, as you’ve lived for this long.

-A, charm?

-Of course. These divine gifts are rare amongst mankind. Which seems to be the main reason why you’ve been locked up, as they are most probably afraid of the consequences your blessing may cause. Charms require the ambition in one's heart to perform. People who are determined and passionate about their lives are the ones who are worthy of wielding them, as doing so will drain these life-defining substances.

So that is what’s been going on with that mischievous, almost sinister looking bracelet all along. You remember how your Charm has glowed in the most perilous situations, which pushed your will and ambition way over the roofs for the sake of your life.

-There is one last thing that I seek an answer for, father.

-Go on son.

-What happened to me before I wound up here? I clearly recall going through death, yet I’m told to be immortal.

Your father takes in a deep breath, and starts explaining:

-Your blessing, the permanence of your life, is not something that you should worry about being let down by, nor is it immortality as you know it. The initial happening of death that has brought you here, is not death as you know it either. It is not death, but a reshaping of your heart, but a reconstruction of it.

-But why would it need a reconstruction? And why would a reconstruction require me to go through the physical definition of death, but not actually die?

-If one is destined for growth, so are their ambitions. Your heart was not able to mimic nor keep up with the ever-growing ambition for freedom. It has now hardened. Made to be more durable. Against both your burdens and others’. You will not fall easily from now on.

By the time your father finished with his explanation, the blur of your mind had already disappeared. Your chat seems to wear down, and sink into a plausible casualty. After all of that steamy philosophical discussion that went through, you really needed some chit-chat. Questions bring others, so do answers. Just until both of your minds are exhausted with them. Silence sinks in, but it is not unpleasant. You take your eyes and give a thoughtful glare across the sky gently painted in pinks. The pink hue mixed with orange brings a sense of comfort and peace to your racing heart. You close your eyes, and enjoy the gentle breeze for a good while. The moment lasts, and you open them once again, only to see that the breeze has replaced you fathr. Your eyebrows raise in surprise. Though, it's expected in some ways as well, since his figure is a trick of your cruel consciousness. Questions are still in your mind, but you know they'll be answered in your seemingly long journey. Your father's lingering presence gives you courage somehow.

Life feels more meaningful, and you feel more alive. You’ve lost track of time over the years, maybe even yourself. Yet despite all of this, you feel like you have a purpose for the first time in your life. It's like there's a power inside you, and that power gives you energy and joy in life. Your eyes turned to your bracelet as you felt its glowing by your peripheral vision. You feel a slight headache at first. Then the headache leaves its place to an oozing noise of howling echoing in your head. Little by little, your senses narrow. Your eyes lose vision, and your ears lose hearing. And before you know it, your consciousness comes to a close, once again.